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	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	2902	4746	#47
Photos
Comments	3	130	47	#72
Forum Posts		32

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	3623	#58
Photos	221	#54
Comments	38	#63
Forum Posts

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	lol x2 creative Yes, it really took it's toll on his legs, but Warwick found his passenger numbers increased twenty fold when he attached the larger sidecar. 10/08/14 8:19:28	1 22
died laughing --sandeep chahal
	creative clever It's obviously not ground coffee 05/02/16 16:31:02	1 21
The down votes showing here appear to be the result of a bug I introduced with my recent changes to the voting code. I'll look into this ASAP. --Chris Beach
	lol creative x2 🎵 Pot Goes The Weasel 🎵 20/02/13 8:00:12	1 20

	lol It just requires a garage to keep the Rolls 30/07/19 9:45:36	19

	The lads of the 737 await news on the lifting of the hosepipe ban. 08/06/12 10:45:06	5 19

	lol creative "OK, miss, what would you like?" "I'd like someone to call me an Ambulance..I've just fallen through your bloody ceiling" 15/08/14 21:34:23	18

	clever Tarred and Feathered 24/01/16 20:01:50	18

	He was kicked out of the Angels for being a bit Wimpy 28/07/16 19:14:54	17

	lol x2 Flat 6 and 8's keeping up with the joneses battle had gotten a little out of hand when it came to Solar Garden lights 26/07/16 19:58:13	17

	lol If Gordon had realised that his Amazon delivery was to be filmed live by the BBC News for being the first UK package to be sent by Drone...he was pretty damn sure he wouldn't have ordered a Sex Doll 06/08/14 11:09:38	2 17
It does look like an on-line purhase. --Chris Moorhead
	I'd sooner have a sandwedge 22/06/14 19:08:35	17

	lol Dwayne In Spain Crawls Mainly In The Drain 12/08/15 21:14:26	16

	Barry and the lads all agreed..it was so much easier than flying South 18/08/14 19:51:47	16

	After driving on unrepaired roads for three years, Gordon finally phoned the council to complain about the damage to his Robin Reliant. 31/01/13 20:00:47	16

	Though only a head, Craig was overjoyed when they picked him for the Paralympics...though it was only as a spare ball in the Beach Volleyball. 30/08/12 7:02:46	16

	Transmitt 24/06/12 10:02:39	16

	lol Mckendrix patiently waited for the man to finish washing his car 08/08/14 11:00:10	15

	lol x2 "Penelope, I know it's not the ideal time or place to ask you this, and I certainly wouldn't want to put you under any undue pressure, but we've been living together now for well over eighteen years... so therefore I was wondering if you'd do me the great honour of agreeing to be my wife?" "Well, Geoffrey, I can't deny that standing there in your Ninja Turtle T-shirt and Foster Grants has got me a little moist in the lower garments, and it must be said that anyone who books a weekend Roller-Surfing in Vietnam just to impress his intended has my complete respect...and of course I do fully admire a man who can allow foreign infants to insert soft fruit up his jacksie without blinking an eye, but, even with all this being said Geoffrey, in the eyes of the law, I'm still your Mother" 16/06/14 12:21:41	15

	Tranny & Susannah 09/05/14 11:00:41	15

	As a child, Tarzan was a bloody show-off on 'Bring Your Pets To School' day. 20/02/13 13:41:56	15

	Puffer Fish 03/02/13 8:00:10	1 15
Maybe it should have been a crayfish or even a gayfish --David Devine
	Frank couldn't believe his rotten luck, Â£60 and all she wanted to do was lay in bed and watch the football. 20/11/12 21:27:45	15

	lol creative x2 Taking advantage of her glasses the family of head lice decided to grow their own Tomatoes 18/06/18 20:44:53	3 15
lol! --Welsh Rarebit
	lol clever Three pints and you're Legolas 13/06/17 7:00:12	2 15
My wife drank just one and was feeling Merry. --Crunchy Chords
	'Sleighed' 22/09/15 19:00:19	15

	creative Captain Karinski was getting a little irritated at the final requests during Firing Squads 13/09/15 19:00:42	2 15
Hi there..glad you enjoyed it, and yes, it's a great place to learn how to word captions to get the most out of them. I've been on here for several years and am still learning..as are most of us. For me I try never to go for the obvious and alwa... --Ron Allan
	lol x2 "Pepper, Sir?" 09/12/15 12:43:51	2 14
Salt of the earth. --John Glover

13/07/14 19:00:11		14

	Chewdy Garland 28/06/14 19:13:51	14

	🎵 We're off to eat the wizard......🎵 28/06/14 19:00:41	14

	Since the costume was stolen their New Year Dragon Dance was far less effective 24/02/13 12:39:49	14

	Rung thief targets local window cleaners. 05/03/12 11:02:57	3 14
This is superb, and deserved more votes --Chris Beach
	creative x2 Exclusive Three million vehicles recalled due to design defect in pop-out cigarette lighters 05/08/14 10:56:22	13

	lol creative In the early spring many flocks of Goats fly back from their winter retreats and embark on a frantic search for secluded locations well away from Townships and high enough to deter the Wingless Suet Moth (their natural predator) Large nests are then intricately constructed and equipped with small petrol driven incubators in which they can safely store their eggs, thus leaving them totally free for other pastimes such as crocheting Tea Cosies or Sudoku. Towards the end of May many Goats have already welcomed their new hatchlings and celebrate this event by holding spectacular pyjama parties which inevitably include firework displays, talks on furniture restoration and skilful demonstrations of Rhubarb juggling...thus ensuring that the cycle of life continues. 11/05/14 21:08:37	4 13
I don't know what you have been smoking, but got any left? --John Glover
	Frank decided to defy the cancer at least until his lips fell off 14/10/13 11:51:48	13

	A Wok of flats 02/10/13 19:00:13	13

	lol More commonly known as the Council Office 20/09/13 11:00:16	13

	lavatree 28/02/13 20:00:42	13

	"Mum...is Julie wearing her stripy trousers?" "I don't know sweetheart..why?" "Cos Grandpa just said he swatted another massive wasp in the bathroom" 03/12/12 20:00:17	13

	Barbara was the very first recorded death from Athletes Foot 22/10/12 11:00:31	13

	"Two small Sheiks, please" 12/05/12 19:00:58	13

	Hank..just before his new kidney rejected him. 25/04/12 10:16:16	2 13

	"I'm assuming you left Beavis at home, love?" 13/08/15 19:11:57	13

	"You can't be Cirrus?" 17/11/14 12:16:56	13

	French Tickler 14/04/21 20:28:31	12

	lol creative Since last years Clacton incident Beryl decided to hold her 99 away from wandering dogs..unfortunately for Beryl the seagulls of Brighton were very keen on Flakes. 17/12/16 12:13:38	1 12
lol --Welsh Rarebit
	Reservoir Blogs 08/12/15 12:48:11	12

	Billy Goat Graf 07/12/15 1:18:52	12

	Evidence that Cannibals should double-chew their food 14/10/15 19:17:38	12

	creative There was nothing that Gulliver liked better than going down to the coast and skimming Lilliputians 21/09/15 9:34:44	12

	clever 'Try over the road' 21/08/15 11:17:25	12

	lol "I'm not usually into this cross species breeding malarkey...but hey, you gotta take it wherever you can get it" 19/07/15 19:00:41	1 12

	Photo Shoot 12/08/14 11:04:15	12

	It may have been cruel, but as she thumbed through her holiday snaps, Sue could still have a chuckle about the time she directed the blind man to the public toilets 04/08/14 11:02:07	12

	creative Ronald the Shrew found himself at the mouth of a great cavern surrounded by dense shrubbery. Unfortunately, though, his progress was blocked by a blood soaked white mouse who seemed to have died after becoming wedged in the entrance 02/08/14 10:13:52	2 12
She should have got one of those 'Tan Packs' --Zac Kramer
	Ed in the clouds 27/07/14 11:00:12	12

	Cynthia loved the feel of the wind blowing through her hair 10/07/14 11:06:07	12

	Two kids for sale...Motherbored 27/06/14 19:42:39	12

	creative His death had been a cruel and tragic accident, and experts later calculated that it was at least a ten million to one chance that all four of the Parachutists should have landed where they did 23/06/14 11:29:32	12

	Jehovis 18/06/14 11:01:16	1 12
Brilliant! --Michael Winner
	creative On arriving at gigs, the Roadies would often play practical jokes on Ray Charles by positioning him outside in the Car Park. 16/09/13 11:04:58	12

	'Jenga'..Office Edition 22/08/13 19:14:24	12

	The artists formally known as 'Prints' 03/04/13 19:02:15	12

	In general, tourists weren't so impressed with Hadrian's Fence 26/11/12 20:08:38	12

	Splashnikov 20/08/12 9:27:30	12

	Luckily his wifes bath towel was hanging on the door 21/04/20 19:10:18	11

	clever It's still Furmenting 15/12/16 20:09:32	11

	Unfortunately, Evel Knievel's very last jump had been set up way too close to the Araldite factory 22/04/16 20:22:51	11

	This was the third time in a week that Reuban the tailors assistant had been accidentally sewn into the lining 14/10/15 19:06:23	11

	After two days of the Dressage event his arse was a little chapped 14/10/15 19:01:27	11

	"I take it from the toothy grin that you've got another mouse up your arse?" 20/08/14 20:24:29	11

	Cockfosters 10/08/14 19:00:09	11

	Sooty and Sweep finally got their X-Ray results back 09/08/14 11:01:08	11

	Jenny and Sandra were both on their monthly Renaissance Period 05/07/14 9:41:33	11

	Golden Malicious 14/09/13 19:08:27	11

	creative Pucker lips Now 13/08/13 19:00:12	1 11
"I love the smell of gay palm in the morning." --Mr Blonde
	lol 🎵 Bernard Matthews had a farm..E,I,E,I,O. And on that farm he slaughtered birds..E,I,E,I,O. With a whack, whack here and a whack, whack there..here a whack..there a whack, everywhere a whack, whack...🎵 "Come on kiddies, sing along" 18/01/13 22:39:00	2 11

	Moron A person whose IQ lies between 45 and 59. Slightly more stupid than the retarded but still smarter than an idiot...Usually found sitting on a tree-stump looking up the word 'Moron'. 25/11/12 12:10:49	11

	After Magumbi adopted the baby Lion he spent most of his time adapting the Cat Flap 09/06/12 10:01:42	11

	Three dead as 'Dancing On Ice' is hit by power failure. 24/02/12 11:02:10	11

	The Last Cuppa 23/05/11 12:26:17	2 11

	Introducing the new Dyson 'Hawking'...ideal for those hard to get to places 20/06/14 19:00:11	10

	His first car was a nice little mover but didn't do many miles to the galleon 17/06/14 11:17:55	10

	Magnetic Field 08/06/14 9:05:58	10

	"OK, who the hell screwed with the speed control on the Escalator?" 07/06/14 16:29:29	10

	'Loosely Women' 09/05/14 11:24:30	10

	Begging in the park hadn't earned her a single penny to feed her kids...but on the plus side she had been thrown a shitload of bread 07/05/14 19:15:44	10

	Kenny the Hitman inched the weapon out from the damp, dense shrubbery, took a slow deep breath and steadied his aim. A single line of cold sweat trickle down his forehead as he slowly moved the barrel from right to left, thus mirroring the progress of his intended target. He moved his index finger to the trigger and very gently squeezed to within a fraction of firing....it was at this point that one of the crosshairs fell off of his scope. 07/05/14 11:44:51	10

	No Elephants Blowing Water Up Exhaust Pipes 07/05/14 11:15:28	10

	Garage Sale at the Schumacher residence 18/04/14 20:48:20	10

	Marryonette 28/08/13 19:00:12	10

	Sir Ranulph Fiennes puts his Antarctica failure down to inadequate training facilities 17/03/13 11:33:33	2 10
Good caption. I'd recommend a very small tweak, change insufficient to inadequate. :D --Mr Blonde
	After four abductions Kevin was getting a little fed-up with the travel element, but it was more than made up for by the Anal Probing 13/12/12 12:32:34	1 10

	Memo to oneself...keep the washing tablets in a separate cupboard from the loo-blues. 28/09/12 11:09:56	10

	At 0-0 and with only thirty six minutes remaining, the victory was handed to Chelsea on a plate when Sunderland had a man sent-off 28/08/12 20:42:34	10

	Katy Ferry 12/06/12 10:38:34	10

	"Well, Mr Dobson, I've studied and re-studied your test results over the past five months, and I've even passed my findings on to other specialist in this field, just for their invaluable opinion's. Your X-ray's have also been paramount in our findings and indeed lead us to this final conclusion. We believe, Mr Dobson, that you...have two extra arms" 06/06/12 11:05:28	10

	Maria was in total turmoil, trying to fathom how to eat her Savaloy without giving William an erection. 24/05/12 10:17:09	1 10

	All the drinks were free of charge. 13/05/11 10:00:22	10

	In the cold winter months George the flasher preferred to describe himself to his victims. 04/02/11 12:02:41	1 10

more captions

last comments (total: 147)

Sorry to loose your wit and humour, you will be missed.
Perhaps you should celebrate your retirement with a bit of ado Ron Ron.

All the breast

John Glover

02/08/11
11:27am

comment on caption:
It was a funny day in Rodney's garden.
Despite his Peat being a Dud, his Laurel's were still quite Hardy..though a little on the large side. After a quick grumble about his weeds and Carrot Top's and worrying about his Tati's..tragedy was near. With a Zig & Zag he fell and landed on his lighter after Ants weakened his Decking. A passing Chaplin quickly Carrey'd him across Graham's Garden, down Chevy Chase and up Harry Hill where they got a lift to the hospital in a Huge Laurie. Dr Bob gave little Hope and later blamed the lighter. Cause of death...Zippo Marks.

Later that day, neighbour Vic laid some Reeves next to a new sign warning people off of Rodney's Dangerfield.

A fond farewell to all fellow captioneers...have the need to call it a day. Many thanks for all the points given over the years, and I hope to see the site rocket upwards..it will now I've gone..lol
Many thanks again..Ron. [Ron Allan]

coming over all sound of music.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

best of luck Ron. Doffs cap.

Joe T

03/08/11
8:23am

A big, big thanks for all the kind words...and Sound Of Music recitals..nice one Joe.

Can I just say that this site has been an absolute godsend to me. Other than my Dad (who I believe was Breast-fed by The Goons) nobody in my family really understood my sense of humour (take a glance at my profile) and I saw this site as a stage for the off-the-wall and bizarre..along with the more traditional kinds of humour...and a challenge to see if I could make others smile.

It's great to see all of these new faces also taking up that challenge..Chris must be absolutely thrilled to see his site attracting so many new faces, both young and old alike.

Nobody on this site should worry in any way about the style or quality of their creations as we are all on the learning curve together. For me, I found the simple study of my fellow captioneers efforts to be the quickest and most effective way to improve. The real beauty of this site, though, is that it offers all a totally open stage to experiment...all without the fear of heckling. And if you're new to the game, never be intimidated by high-scorers...as no captioneer on site would claim they have it down to a fine art...however good we think we are, we can always improve our craft.

Again, many thanks to all, and can I just add an apology for the length of my final caption...I dedicate this to my good friend Keith McClory..lol