Nuclear family

30/03/23 7:18:44

Alas, Bill and Ben were never seen again.

25/03/23 20:19:19

Bucket Liszt

21/03/23 12:01:30

Spoiler - The main character was killed by a black adder.

16/03/23 20:00:10

Warburtons and Peace

16/03/23 12:05:15

Bread to kill

16/03/23 12:00:12

Sourpuss

23/02/23 20:00:05

Evidence emerges the money France has received to stop illegal immigrants crossing the channel has all been spent on Bordeaux control.

21/02/23 12:17:36

The Tiger Who Came to Tee

20/02/23 8:03:07, edited: 20/02/23 8:05:20

Chilly Chilly Bang Bang

10/02/23 12:00:32

Wanda Woman

09/02/23 20:00:10

Doevided

22/01/23 8:04:56

Lawn boa

17/01/23 8:01:44

Murder Most Fowl

05/01/23 14:31:40

Try explaining to a T-1000 you can't afford their electricity bill any more.

26/12/22 20:55:11

Santa Cruise

18/12/22 12:00:05

Morti Gras

17/12/22 8:59:18

Herbie Goes Bananas

12/12/22 8:00:07

Shakes on a Plane

11/12/22 20:00:13

Gnome Alone

04/12/22 12:00:15

The Day the Oeuf Stood Still

16/11/22 0:13:00

Father Tread

31/10/22 8:12:22

"This is your captain speaking. One of our engines is bust."

02/10/22 7:00:20

"Mr McGregor, the other pottery students tell me you might have experienced a past trauma... involving rabbits perhaps..."

01/10/22 8:25:32

Good buy, Mr. Chips?

26/09/22 11:01:26

The Gunpowder Plop

05/09/22 12:22:28

clever

It's paneful to watch.

28/08/22 7:06:51

"This isn't as scary as our usual adventures Daddy."

"Give it a moment. I filled my gun with something called hydrochloric acid."

18/08/22 11:05:53

Winner of the Poolitzer Prize

18/08/22 7:12:05

Winner of the Pull-it-sir prize

15/08/22 11:08:51

Shere stupidity

13/08/22 11:01:23

Mog cabin

12/08/22 12:17:20

"Yes, I know you prefer your velvet cushion in front of the living room fire but that was before you started plotting to kill me."

12/08/22 11:03:37, edited: 12/08/22 11:04:16

"And a diet coke please."

07/08/22 19:00:07

Lidl and large

04/08/22 11:00:06

but the hyenas had a good laugh trying to get them on.

04/08/22 8:09:09

"Sorry madam, I'm fining you for fowling the pavement."

15/07/22 11:07:01

"I like to keep my mouse squeaky clean."

02/07/22 11:00:18

Bubble and squeak

02/07/22 11:00:06

"I'm glad there's no hard feelings about this month's caption competition Tony. It's very kind of you to invite me over for a drink."

"No problem James, I'll have that drink ready for you in a moment. I just need to add a few more ingredients..."

01/07/22 11:00:09

Roarlicks

21/06/22 7:01:22

Takes plenty of bottle doing this in the centre of Hampton Court's maze.

02/06/22 11:00:09

"Sorry about your limbs son. I was legless when you were conceived."

06/05/22 11:05:22

9 out of 10 captioneers think a frog's crown looks like a bird's beak.

25/04/22 7:08:18

"You were supposed to separate the baby from the placenta."

17/04/22 7:02:52

Hi captioneers, thought I'd send a pic to let you know why I've not been on the site recently.

Lots of love,
The Wolf x

15/04/22 19:00:07

Spag dolls

11/04/22 11:00:06

Surplus caption.me funds used to send worst offending captioneer to the Very Irritating Pun clinic.

10/04/22 11:14:27

Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

04/04/22 19:02:24

Spark and ride

28/03/22 13:55:43

"The last boat I had was green but it got nicked by a bloody owl and a pussy cat."

25/03/22 8:34:55

"Whose bloody idea was it to have the world musical chair championships in Manchester?"

05/03/22 20:00:08

Habitual drinkers

26/02/22 12:00:07

Baking Bad

22/02/22 20:06:21

Charlady

16/02/22 20:02:17

"Excuse me Miss, can I have my boxing glove back?"

04/02/22 12:35:57

"Hi Dad, Meghan and I thought we'd pop by for a surprise visit."

01/02/22 12:00:13

"It tastes Orville."

31/01/22 8:04:16

Confessions of a Captioneer's Wife
Book 1: The 8pm slot

11/01/22 20:00:10

"We met at a stingers party."

11/01/22 8:01:47

Marital arts

09/01/22 8:00:08

Feel free to give a tip.

08/01/22 8:17:39

Early Burning Centre

04/01/22 8:06:09

"Look Mummy, I've blown up one of Daddy's balloons for my birthday party."

09/12/21 12:11:32

Tellyphone Savalas

05/12/21 8:00:18

Child labour

03/12/21 12:08:20

Bachelor padding

20/11/21 21:06:58

"Why did you pile up all those cushions Dave?"

"In case the baby falls off the wall."

20/11/21 21:02:31

Made by McTitties

14/11/21 12:02:05

The Deer Humper

13/11/21 20:00:08

wool.i.am

11/11/21 8:06:46

"Gourd give me strength!"

07/11/21 8:12:40

"Excuse me sir, please remove any metal objects from your person before passing through the metal detector."

06/11/21 12:00:31

lol

"Oh no Mildred, it's that bloody George Formby with his ukelele. Pass me the earplugs befo.."

♪ Now I go cleanin' windows to earn an honest bob
For a nosy parker it's an interestin' job
Now it's a job that just suits me
A window cleaner you would be
If you can see what I can see
When I'm cleanin' windows ♪

02/11/21 20:24:02

"Careful Kermit, the last bloke she drank with ended up legless."

29/10/21 11:01:20

Hoppy hour

29/10/21 11:00:05

"Luke, we are your fathers."

26/10/21 11:15:56

Before they were arrested Fred and Rose West ran a very successful corner shop.

12/10/21 11:34:03

"Let me guess, they had a giant saucer of milk."

11/10/21 19:00:09

"I know you're not my real parents. Quit trying to bamboozle me."

11/10/21 11:00:17

"Anyone score more than 2 votes for any of their captions this week?"

"Nope."

"No."

"Nah."

"Me neither."

06/10/21 7:11:59

♪ Who ya gonna call?

GOOSEBUSTERS! ♪

29/09/21 19:00:30

"I'm sorry but our relationship isn't twerking."

29/09/21 11:00:11

UK government tries to entice truck drivers out of retirement with offers of free food.

27/09/21 12:18:14

"Sorry, I've not updated my profile picture in a while."

23/09/21 7:47:01

"It's a good job Karen never puts any photos of us on that caption site she loves so much."

"Don't worry love, she'd never do such a terrible thing to her parents."

12/09/21 7:02:14

Reptaisles

08/09/21 7:16:18

"Keep the meter running I'll be back soon. I have a little unfinished business with a girl with gold hair."

03/09/21 11:00:20

"I used to be a tadpolo."

28/08/21 11:00:14

Buzz Smalldrin

12/08/21 11:44:07

Taking inspiration from a nursery rhyme, the Department of Housing unveil their new design for affordable homes for old women.

22/07/21 19:00:29

"Big brother is watching you."

22/07/21 11:00:06

Car thief caught in sting operation.

21/07/21 11:00:05

"Wow, I wish I had a cat like yours Bill. Where did you get him from?"

"Pets at Ohm."

19/07/21 11:20:19

You spoil that sheep.

25/06/21 19:00:42

"I don't think Mittens is that bothered by what's on the screen. She just likes playing with the mouse."

24/06/21 19:00:13

🎵 Saturday Night at the Mewvies 🎵

16/06/21 7:26:44

"Look into my eyessss. You are all feeling sssssleeeeepeee..."

14/06/21 11:04:14

"What a charming welcome."

14/06/21 11:00:14

"Looks like we're eating in tonight kids."

13/06/21 11:00:17