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"That was some gust, I was gliding over the Cotswolds half an hour ago."
In an effort to reverse months of bad press, Boris Johnson parachutes in on a recycled LGBT flag to mend a melting ice cap and, inadvertently, feed a hungry bear.
"Hello Deliveroo...I ordered a seal!"
I've lost a shoe, can this day get any worse?
Ok now I'm starting to get cold feet.
"God, it really has been the wettest May on record." Thought Dave, as he landed in Chester Zoo.
"Oh sh-t, wrong pole. I thought there were only penguins here."
"I brought you a box of Milk Tray."
God, if you are real send me a sign. I've not eaten in days...
"Why are the Gay activist putting so much effort into rescuing that confused bear." "Because it's bi polar."
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