- "Gentlemen, just to alert you that a member of your party appears to be licking his bollocks under Table 11." - "Terribly sorry, waiter. That'll be Alf. Can't take him anywhere."

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- "Gentlemen, just to alert you that a member of your party appears to be licking his bollocks under Table 11." - "Terribly sorry, waiter. That'll be Alf. Can't take him anywhere."

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