“ OK …….. Gran, I want you to look slightly retarded and as if you have wind and wearing a latex mask. Grandad, can I have an intense look as if you are halfway through a prostate examination. Mum, silly grin please like you have got your love eggs in. Could someone set the baby up like a decapitated porcelain doll. Great, I’ll just jump onto this spinning washing machine to make things a bit blurred aaaaaaand click”