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"How did that door come to be up there?" "Well, that's an interesting storey..."
"Nice try Dave but the Jehova's Witnesses around here carry ladders."
“They still get flyers.”
"I don't understand it, I keep renting this place to nice couples, next day they've fallen out."
Mittens doesn't look too keen about the cat flap I'm having fitted tomorrow.
“How does your post get delivered?” “The dogs make the postman jump.”
Some of my boyfriends have been surprisingly disappointed when I've told them they can't come in my back door.
"I just fixed the mother-in-law's front door. Apparently she has a habit of sleep walking."
"That was a lot of work Dave. Are you sure it was worth it?" "It was if it stops the gas man reading the meter."
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Let down your hair..!”
"That's strange, the last tenants developed agoraphobia too."
Dave's house had been burgled so often he didn't think there was anything else left to nick.
Spiderman auditions today - apply within.
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