Dear Mr Garnett, Thank you for taking the time to let us know about the buildings at the bottom of your neighbour's garden. I understand you felt they were rather excessive particularly as he didn't have planning permission and no-one was living in them. We have however granted planning permission retrospectively after your neighbour agreed to house 300 migrants that crossed the Channel on a bouncy castle yesterday. We hope you will give your new neighbours a warm welcome. Yours sincerely, Wigan Town Council ps. Your neighbour would like to send you a special thank you as he says this opportunity wouldn't have been possible without your help. He estimates he'll receive approximately £450,000 per month for housing the migrants and will be able to retire to Barbados very soon.