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"My toilet is squeaky clean."
Stephen Bean
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''If someone doesn't buy a brick soon, I'm going to throw in the trowel.''
Dave Bryan
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Never marry a foot fetishist whose favourite sex toy is a high powered vacuum cleaner.
James Lennox
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Dave had to act quickly when he noticed Debbie hadn't shaved her armpits.
Karen McDonald
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Cold caller
Al Overy
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Moby Dick
Tony Edwards
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Catching the bouquet is risky when the bride is an Olympic shot-putter
Chris Beach
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Ah finally. Here are the instructions!
Kevin Thomas
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He thought he was swimming in a lake of Irn Bru. Turns out it was actually a Fanta sea.
James F
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🎵 My art will go on...
Al Overy
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Arch Garfunkel
Dave Bryan
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Never steal from McDonald's in Tehran.
Al Overy
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"Why did you call your dog Curiosity?"
Stephen Bean
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"There are days when I look in the mirror and wish I'd not survived the creche."
Al Overy
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None for ewe.
alexandra ball
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Powder room
Stephen Bean
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"As far as OnAdventureWithDad situations go, this isn't that bad at all. I'm only cleaning up a little cocaine that got spilt when one of the strippers fell off a coffee table."
James Lennox
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Breast friends
Tony Edwards
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Monster Munch
Dave Bryan
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“Moments later Jenny asked Dave to pick up his feet, they’d landed near the tulips.”
C CaMel
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Sumo mothers do 'ave 'em
Dan Nicholls
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"Bloody typical," muttered Dave. "I just paid £25 for mine."
James Lennox
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Last time I saw legs like that they were holding up a snooker table.
Neil Mackenzie
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Land of the rising son.
Kenny Ireland
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