Bust Stop

08/06/12 19:00:06

lol x2

"...and all those in favour of reducing the tax on lettuce?"

29/04/20 19:23:09

"Oman that looks bad"

"Yemen it does!"

19/10/11 10:14:42

“Ejaculate…..ejaculate….!”

15/04/12 10:00:06

Dave liked to unwind at the end of the day.

26/06/12 19:00:09

Living the dream: Sat in a jacuzzi with a bird on his cock.

15/05/12 19:04:38

After years of going "low energy", Phil switched back to a 100 watt bulb.

12/04/12 20:05:17

He hoped his daughter would grow up older, budweiser.

09/12/12 13:22:39

"My mate says he came to Bangkok and caught crabs but I haven't had a bite all day!"

11/10/12 12:49:22

"Darling I'd love to have your mother over to stay but we haven't got enough seats."

03/09/12 11:01:55

"Drinking lots never harmed me!" says Dave, 24 from Clapham.

10/01/12 12:28:13

"Ok, I know it's big but there's no need to spell it out!"

29/10/11 19:05:06

The first blonde to walk all over a Beetle since Heather Mills.

25/07/11 17:53:52

"Pieces of crate, pieces of crate!"

16/08/17 19:07:11

Salvador D'alley

04/09/17 19:03:30

Ring of Fire

12/02/13 20:04:07

"Ahmed, when I said 'are you coming out?' I meant for a drink!"

03/10/12 20:30:13

After winning another gold, Chris Hoy was overcome with emulsion.

06/08/12 15:00:18

Railway sleepers

07/06/12 19:00:05

May the sauce be with you...

02/01/12 20:11:30

creative

"This is my girlfriend. I love her just a Lidl. She Asda be the best girl I've ever met. I couldn't think of anyone Nisa. I could look into her eyes Aldi. She's always in a hurry though. I'm forever saying 'Waitrose'. But she's usually Co-operative. We're getting married soon. She's taking her girly friends on a hen weekend to a Spar and then we're having our honeymoon in Iceland."

10/09/13 19:06:52

"Put the earthling back. Our test results show he's got exactly the same DNA as the last 5 we tried."

"Should we try somewhere else other than Norfolk?"

13/12/12 13:23:03

"Sod this audition! I don't even like Lurpack anyway!"

29/09/12 11:07:06

"I can see what the problem is....someone's parked a lawn-mower on your genitals."

04/09/12 11:05:39

He loved his girlfriend, but she came with too much baggage.

22/08/12 19:01:03

"Grandad, what makes men want to spend all their spare time trying to grow vegetables?"

"About 25 years of marriage, son."

13/08/12 19:03:10

"Hello son, did you bring any souvenirs back from Thailand?"

16/04/12 19:03:51

After the Andrex puppy had nicked the toilet roll, things got even worse for Dave.

11/04/12 11:51:57

Loitering within tent

05/03/12 20:44:40

"Right, come on you lot, he's just finished cleaning his car..."

05/02/12 20:12:11

In Thailand it's not unusual to find a girl with a Chopper.

04/01/12 13:36:39

"That chicken sure has balls!"
"Yes, I wouldn't be seen dead wearing a toupée!"

04/01/19 12:22:09

Once you pop, you can't....oh.....actually I'm not that hungry anymore.

09/11/17 20:01:34

"See lads! I told you I knew a slag we could all have a go on!"

07/12/12 12:57:24

Timmy regretted asking his mum where he was conceived.

14/09/12 12:50:33

"Dave, that perfume you bought your mother-in-law has caught fire. What sort was it?"

"Unleaded."

01/08/12 19:06:23

The mystery of the vanishing dogs, and the feeding of the five-thousand, appeared to be solved.

01/08/12 10:05:58

"And there you go, the full 'Leslie Ash'!"

23/02/12 20:15:59

"What factor suncream should I use?"

"Fifteen, love."

05/12/11 15:06:56

David was amazed that his neutrinos were in his jar as he hadn't planned on putting them there until tomorrow.

24/11/11 12:34:36

lol

Unfortunately Anita Ward had failed to specify which one.

15/02/19 12:59:56

lol creative

Mick Hucknall liked to take his dog along to his book signings.

11/10/13 19:37:36

Never mind lads, you can shave them off on Saturday.

29/11/12 20:01:45

"Hang on lads.....I've got an idea...."

07/09/12 11:57:52

"Marvellous! She makes us come halfway across the known universe and then decides she liked the shoes in the first shop better!"

31/08/12 12:40:40

There are many mysteries in the world:

How did we get here?

Is there a god?

But one question puzzles us all....

Who the fuck voted for this photo?

30/08/12 19:10:07

When Debbie found out her boyfriend had been sending pictures of his gentials to other women, she decided to buy him a suitable camera.

02/04/12 19:01:53

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Park

17/02/12 20:03:10

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be....Whitney Houston."

17/02/12 13:27:19

It was a strain looking after Harry Redknapp's tax returns.

26/01/12 20:29:37

Photographers gather as John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett arrive in Tokyo.

19/11/11 12:00:54

"So I took my knickers off and said 'Have you ever seen a red-haired twat before?', and he said 'Yes, Mick Hucknall.'"

27/10/11 19:07:39

"Why Dubai such weird t-shirts?"

19/10/11 10:19:14

"Hmm, it says here that Socrates thought that for a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories."

"Hmm, these birds sure are angry!"

10/10/11 21:07:44

He turned up in a 7.5 tonner but was going home with a Tranny.

22/11/12 22:23:48

Sophie Dahl

09/11/12 20:13:08

Man with elephant's trunk seeks lady with a camel toe.

29/08/12 19:57:27

The lady taxi-drivers would soon learn that they have to be more specific when meeting flights from Liverpool.

13/08/12 11:05:01

One of the best laxatives known to man.

09/08/12 19:00:23

Don't drink and dive.

24/02/12 12:23:37

Black pawn meets white knight

19/01/12 20:00:26

"Vacancy: Washers required."

07/11/11 20:30:01

The doctor thinks I've got Qatar.

19/10/11 10:10:16

"When do you think Dad will notice that I've swapped his shampoo for Mum's Veet?"

17/08/17 19:15:15

Romantic Bugger!

15/11/17 12:36:12

"Sorry mate, I didn't realise I'd picked a ginger one. I've kept the receipt..."

10/09/13 19:32:35

Robin Hood's gang turned out to be a bit 'merrier' than he'd bargained for.

30/08/12 12:07:35

“…and this little piggy went ‘wee-wah, wee-wah’, and followed me all the way home.”

09/08/12 19:00:30

If you think a dog hanging around a bar is a novelty, come to Doncaster...

08/08/12 19:01:30

"I'll get you for this, Butler!"

02/03/12 13:00:48

The government once again ignored Bombardier and awarded the new train contract to Dave's Autos in Croydon.

07/01/12 13:02:02

Snow White was beginning to regret moving in.

07/12/11 12:23:10

She should have gone the Safeway.

26/11/11 20:03:35

"...and under the UK's new immigration controls you can accept this lollipop as my passport."

15/11/11 13:46:20

Another photo of a big-chested airhead.

24/10/11 19:19:18

"I've seen the Bond films. Now we've pushed dad's Lotus into the water it should turn into a submarine."

18/10/11 10:16:24

"This will be the first time I've got a bird to 3rd base!"

02/11/14 20:03:13

"I think those steaks need a couple more minutes on the barbecue, Dave."

02/01/13 22:12:35

"I can't get down", said the bike, "I'm two-tyred."

17/12/12 20:02:45

The Taliban make their own executive toys.

13/12/12 21:29:44

It must be a Southern baby.

The fag's got a filter on it, the beer's only about 4%, and at six months' old she's what we call up North a 'late-starter'.

09/12/12 12:06:39

The bunkers at the Ryder Cup are a little trickier this year.

16/08/12 12:38:39

I always use Aerial for my dirty washing.

24/06/12 10:00:08

Connie Fir

14/06/12 19:00:07

An unusual sight: Three teenage girls not going off the rails

07/06/12 19:04:11

It's amazing what you can find on Gumtree.

01/05/12 12:41:51

Even in his old age, Dr Doolittle could still pull the birds.

29/04/12 19:26:14

Defective Jean Pool

25/03/12 19:02:53

No wonder they look happy, they just got laid.

26/02/12 20:01:17

Insane-sburys

30/01/12 20:07:31

"Virgin?"

"It's none of your business mother!"

12/01/12 20:22:11

After MPs advise people to have 2 drink free days, Dave picks January the 10th and 11th....2056.

10/01/12 12:26:45

"How much is that dogging in the window...?"

30/12/11 20:30:31

…and over the road a man with a megaphone advertising a library for the deaf.

14/12/11 20:00:13

"You were meant to build a futuristic house!"

"I did, we're in Norfolk."

14/12/11 13:47:44

Tim was well prepared for the Brussel Sprout season.

13/12/11 20:00:11

"No, it says 'add a baby mushroom'!"

21/11/11 20:12:55

"I don't get it...it says 'Please Turn Over' on both sides..."

13/10/11 19:02:05

Media shower.

09/10/11 10:08:32

Wendy looked forward to getting married so she could change her surname, Unfortunately, she married Mr Red-red-robin-keeps-bob-bob-bobbing-along.

28/08/17 14:00:45