super vote: ( left this week)
Bust Stop
08/06/12 19:00:06
"...and all those in favour of reducing the tax on lettuce?"
29/04/20 19:23:09
"Oman that looks bad""Yemen it does!"
19/10/11 10:14:42
“Ejaculate…..ejaculate….!”
15/04/12 10:00:06
Dave liked to unwind at the end of the day.
26/06/12 19:00:09
Living the dream: Sat in a jacuzzi with a bird on his cock.
15/05/12 19:04:38
After years of going "low energy", Phil switched back to a 100 watt bulb.
12/04/12 20:05:17
He hoped his daughter would grow up older, budweiser.
09/12/12 13:22:39
"My mate says he came to Bangkok and caught crabs but I haven't had a bite all day!"
11/10/12 12:49:22
"Darling I'd love to have your mother over to stay but we haven't got enough seats."
03/09/12 11:01:55
"Drinking lots never harmed me!" says Dave, 24 from Clapham.
10/01/12 12:28:13
"Ok, I know it's big but there's no need to spell it out!"
29/10/11 19:05:06
The first blonde to walk all over a Beetle since Heather Mills.
25/07/11 17:53:52
"Pieces of crate, pieces of crate!"
16/08/17 19:07:11
Salvador D'alley
04/09/17 19:03:30
Ring of Fire
12/02/13 20:04:07
"Ahmed, when I said 'are you coming out?' I meant for a drink!"
03/10/12 20:30:13
After winning another gold, Chris Hoy was overcome with emulsion.
06/08/12 15:00:18
Railway sleepers
07/06/12 19:00:05
May the sauce be with you...
02/01/12 20:11:30
"This is my girlfriend. I love her just a Lidl. She Asda be the best girl I've ever met. I couldn't think of anyone Nisa. I could look into her eyes Aldi. She's always in a hurry though. I'm forever saying 'Waitrose'. But she's usually Co-operative. We're getting married soon. She's taking her girly friends on a hen weekend to a Spar and then we're having our honeymoon in Iceland."
10/09/13 19:06:52
"Put the earthling back. Our test results show he's got exactly the same DNA as the last 5 we tried.""Should we try somewhere else other than Norfolk?"
13/12/12 13:23:03
"Sod this audition! I don't even like Lurpack anyway!"
29/09/12 11:07:06
"I can see what the problem is....someone's parked a lawn-mower on your genitals."
04/09/12 11:05:39
He loved his girlfriend, but she came with too much baggage.
22/08/12 19:01:03
"Grandad, what makes men want to spend all their spare time trying to grow vegetables?""About 25 years of marriage, son."
13/08/12 19:03:10
"Hello son, did you bring any souvenirs back from Thailand?"
16/04/12 19:03:51
After the Andrex puppy had nicked the toilet roll, things got even worse for Dave.
11/04/12 11:51:57
Loitering within tent
05/03/12 20:44:40
"Right, come on you lot, he's just finished cleaning his car..."
05/02/12 20:12:11
In Thailand it's not unusual to find a girl with a Chopper.
04/01/12 13:36:39
"That chicken sure has balls!""Yes, I wouldn't be seen dead wearing a toupée!"
04/01/19 12:22:09
Once you pop, you can't....oh.....actually I'm not that hungry anymore.
09/11/17 20:01:34
"See lads! I told you I knew a slag we could all have a go on!"
07/12/12 12:57:24
Timmy regretted asking his mum where he was conceived.
14/09/12 12:50:33
"Dave, that perfume you bought your mother-in-law has caught fire. What sort was it?""Unleaded."
01/08/12 19:06:23
The mystery of the vanishing dogs, and the feeding of the five-thousand, appeared to be solved.
01/08/12 10:05:58
"And there you go, the full 'Leslie Ash'!"
23/02/12 20:15:59
"What factor suncream should I use?""Fifteen, love."
05/12/11 15:06:56
David was amazed that his neutrinos were in his jar as he hadn't planned on putting them there until tomorrow.
24/11/11 12:34:36
Unfortunately Anita Ward had failed to specify which one.
15/02/19 12:59:56
Mick Hucknall liked to take his dog along to his book signings.
11/10/13 19:37:36
Never mind lads, you can shave them off on Saturday.
29/11/12 20:01:45
"Hang on lads.....I've got an idea...."
07/09/12 11:57:52
"Marvellous! She makes us come halfway across the known universe and then decides she liked the shoes in the first shop better!"
31/08/12 12:40:40
There are many mysteries in the world:How did we get here?Is there a god?But one question puzzles us all....Who the fuck voted for this photo?
30/08/12 19:10:07
When Debbie found out her boyfriend had been sending pictures of his gentials to other women, she decided to buy him a suitable camera.
02/04/12 19:01:53
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Park
17/02/12 20:03:10
"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be....Whitney Houston."
17/02/12 13:27:19
It was a strain looking after Harry Redknapp's tax returns.
26/01/12 20:29:37
Photographers gather as John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett arrive in Tokyo.
19/11/11 12:00:54
"So I took my knickers off and said 'Have you ever seen a red-haired twat before?', and he said 'Yes, Mick Hucknall.'"
27/10/11 19:07:39
"Why Dubai such weird t-shirts?"
19/10/11 10:19:14
"Hmm, it says here that Socrates thought that for a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.""Hmm, these birds sure are angry!"
10/10/11 21:07:44
He turned up in a 7.5 tonner but was going home with a Tranny.
22/11/12 22:23:48
Sophie Dahl
09/11/12 20:13:08
Man with elephant's trunk seeks lady with a camel toe.
29/08/12 19:57:27
The lady taxi-drivers would soon learn that they have to be more specific when meeting flights from Liverpool.
13/08/12 11:05:01
One of the best laxatives known to man.
09/08/12 19:00:23
Don't drink and dive.
24/02/12 12:23:37
Black pawn meets white knight
19/01/12 20:00:26
"Vacancy: Washers required."
07/11/11 20:30:01
The doctor thinks I've got Qatar.
19/10/11 10:10:16
"When do you think Dad will notice that I've swapped his shampoo for Mum's Veet?"
17/08/17 19:15:15
Romantic Bugger!
15/11/17 12:36:12
"Sorry mate, I didn't realise I'd picked a ginger one. I've kept the receipt..."
10/09/13 19:32:35
Robin Hood's gang turned out to be a bit 'merrier' than he'd bargained for.
30/08/12 12:07:35
“…and this little piggy went ‘wee-wah, wee-wah’, and followed me all the way home.”
09/08/12 19:00:30
If you think a dog hanging around a bar is a novelty, come to Doncaster...
08/08/12 19:01:30
"I'll get you for this, Butler!"
02/03/12 13:00:48
The government once again ignored Bombardier and awarded the new train contract to Dave's Autos in Croydon.
07/01/12 13:02:02
Snow White was beginning to regret moving in.
07/12/11 12:23:10
She should have gone the Safeway.
26/11/11 20:03:35
"...and under the UK's new immigration controls you can accept this lollipop as my passport."
15/11/11 13:46:20
Another photo of a big-chested airhead.
24/10/11 19:19:18
"I've seen the Bond films. Now we've pushed dad's Lotus into the water it should turn into a submarine."
18/10/11 10:16:24
"This will be the first time I've got a bird to 3rd base!"
02/11/14 20:03:13
"I think those steaks need a couple more minutes on the barbecue, Dave."
02/01/13 22:12:35
"I can't get down", said the bike, "I'm two-tyred."
17/12/12 20:02:45
The Taliban make their own executive toys.
13/12/12 21:29:44
It must be a Southern baby.The fag's got a filter on it, the beer's only about 4%, and at six months' old she's what we call up North a 'late-starter'.
09/12/12 12:06:39
The bunkers at the Ryder Cup are a little trickier this year.
16/08/12 12:38:39
I always use Aerial for my dirty washing.
24/06/12 10:00:08
Connie Fir
14/06/12 19:00:07
An unusual sight: Three teenage girls not going off the rails
07/06/12 19:04:11
It's amazing what you can find on Gumtree.
01/05/12 12:41:51
Even in his old age, Dr Doolittle could still pull the birds.
29/04/12 19:26:14
Defective Jean Pool
25/03/12 19:02:53
No wonder they look happy, they just got laid.
26/02/12 20:01:17
Insane-sburys
30/01/12 20:07:31
"Virgin?""It's none of your business mother!"
12/01/12 20:22:11
After MPs advise people to have 2 drink free days, Dave picks January the 10th and 11th....2056.
10/01/12 12:26:45
"How much is that dogging in the window...?"
30/12/11 20:30:31
…and over the road a man with a megaphone advertising a library for the deaf.
14/12/11 20:00:13
"You were meant to build a futuristic house!""I did, we're in Norfolk."
14/12/11 13:47:44
Tim was well prepared for the Brussel Sprout season.
13/12/11 20:00:11
"No, it says 'add a baby mushroom'!"
21/11/11 20:12:55
"I don't get it...it says 'Please Turn Over' on both sides..."
13/10/11 19:02:05
Media shower.
09/10/11 10:08:32
Wendy looked forward to getting married so she could change her surname, Unfortunately, she married Mr Red-red-robin-keeps-bob-bob-bobbing-along.
28/08/17 14:00:45
105 - 114 95 - 104 85 - 94 75 - 84 65 - 74 55 - 64 45 - 54 35 - 44 25 - 34 15 - 24 5 - 14 1 - 4
She don't sound all that, I'd give her the push.
comment on caption: "This is my girlfriend. I love her just a Lidl. She Asda be the best girl I've ever met. I couldn't think of anyone Nisa. I could look into her eyes Aldi. She's always in a hurry though. I'm forever saying 'Waitrose'. But she's usually Co-operative. We're getting married soon. She's taking her girly friends on a hen weekend to a Spar and then we're having our honeymoon in Iceland." [Paul Woolley]
unfortunately didn't have enough points for a LOL.
comment on caption: Mick Hucknall liked to take his dog along to his book signings. [Paul Woolley]
Well since you didn't have enough points for a lol you can have mine.
Very generous.
Three of them taking turns means it's a roasting.
comment on caption: "This will be the first time I've got a bird to 3rd base!" [Paul Woolley]
Somehow I don't see this one being used by Hello magazine.
comment on caption: High Pollen Cunt [Paul Woolley]
Slip(disc)knot
comment on caption: There was a hell of a suprise when two members of Slipknot removed their masks. [Paul Woolley]
An adaptation of an old joke, I confess.... [caption writer]
comment on caption: "It eats shoots and leaves!""Well actually that was my plan for our date tonight!" [Paul Woolley]
Even though this is a well-used phrase it works perfectly here. Good caption.
They kept wandering into the road, getting knocked down and back up again.
comment on caption: After travelling all that way, Chumbawamba couldn't be arsed with the lager and cider after all. [Paul Woolley]
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She don't sound all that, I'd give her the push.
7:46pm
comment on caption:
"This is my girlfriend. I love her just a Lidl. She Asda be the best girl I've ever met. I couldn't think of anyone Nisa. I could look into her eyes Aldi. She's always in a hurry though. I'm forever saying 'Waitrose'. But she's usually Co-operative. We're getting married soon. She's taking her girly friends on a hen weekend to a Spar and then we're having our honeymoon in Iceland." [Paul Woolley]
unfortunately didn't have enough points for a LOL.
11:42pm
comment on caption:
Mick Hucknall liked to take his dog along to his book signings. [Paul Woolley]
Well since you didn't have enough points for a lol you can have mine.
1:04am
comment on caption:
Mick Hucknall liked to take his dog along to his book signings. [Paul Woolley]
Very generous.
2:33am
comment on caption:
Mick Hucknall liked to take his dog along to his book signings. [Paul Woolley]
Three of them taking turns means it's a roasting.
8:55pm
comment on caption:
"This will be the first time I've got a bird to 3rd base!" [Paul Woolley]
Somehow I don't see this one being used by Hello magazine.
7:41am
comment on caption:
High Pollen Cunt [Paul Woolley]
Slip(disc)knot
4:30pm
comment on caption:
There was a hell of a suprise when two members of Slipknot removed their masks. [Paul Woolley]
An adaptation of an old joke, I confess.... [caption writer]
7:15pm
comment on caption:
"It eats shoots and leaves!"
"Well actually that was my plan for our date tonight!" [Paul Woolley]
Even though this is a well-used phrase it works perfectly here. Good caption.
9:19am
comment on caption:
"It eats shoots and leaves!"
"Well actually that was my plan for our date tonight!" [Paul Woolley]
They kept wandering into the road, getting knocked down and back up again.
9:15pm
comment on caption:
After travelling all that way, Chumbawamba couldn't be arsed with the lager and cider after all. [Paul Woolley]