Linda D

Once described on school report as facetious. Took me years to realise that didn't mean shit.

I'm a self-employed tour guide. I travel the world and listen to people complain about how it's impossible to buy the Daily Mail in Cuba or get a decent boiled egg in Boston and their entire holiday is ruined because the curtains don't match the duvet cover.

Some of the godforsaken crapholes I work in have very little internet access.

This is my excuse for the fact that my weekly scores will go up and down like a bulimic's breakfast.

Caption Wins:8

Location:

Cleethorpes

Signed Up:13 years ago

Profile Viewed:6 times this week

Super Votes:Quota: 35

Quotas and Scores

		This Week			Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Caption	10	0	0		0	0		432	1,085	117
Photo	10	0	0		0	0		0	0
Comment	3	0	0		0	0		79	0
Suggested Edit	2	0	0		0	0		0	0
Forum Post		0	0		0	0		25	0

Voting Record

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Caption	0		0		559	153
Photo	0		0		7	119

captions comments received

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	Burkha King 12/05/12 19:00:21	25

	I don't know why we eat here. The food is shi'ite. 12/05/12 19:01:03	20

	Freak hurricane leaves a trailer destruction. 21/07/12 19:02:32	18

	Bite thize. 17/07/12 19:00:56	2 16

	Ooh Terry, you've really come out of your shell. 05/07/12 10:00:57	16

	Jack knew from an early age his brother was the favourite. 18/06/12 19:00:44	16

	At Match.com, you will meet singles you are genuinely compatible with. 13/08/12 10:04:30	14

	Jim is his own worst nightmare. 15/07/12 19:00:38	14

	Pork with Apple source. 21/06/12 19:00:50	14

	Every which way but loos. 19/06/12 19:02:52	1 14

	Gransvestites. 27/07/12 10:02:32	13

	You must have grown a foot since I last saw you. 24/07/12 19:00:32	13

	Bare Grylls. 06/07/12 10:00:53	1 13

	Have you had an accident at work that wasn't your fault? I was told to feed this ravenous alligator whilst smeared in raw chicken. Injury Lawyers 4U got me £24 compensation. 07/06/12 10:42:59	1 13

	Torquing Heads. 18/05/12 10:13:53	13

	Chromehenge. 21/07/12 19:25:26	1 12

	Suspicious minder. 18/07/12 10:15:11	12

	A shit on the side. 09/07/12 19:00:15	12

	♪♪ Like a brat out of hell....♪♪ 14/06/12 10:01:31	12

	The only thing we couldn't fit on was the mirror, but Denzil's bringing that on his moped. 13/06/12 19:00:32	12

	Kenya see me mum? 10/06/12 19:01:46	12

	Hide Park. 19/07/12 19:12:56	11

	This used to be a great place until it went bust. 15/07/12 10:05:35	11

	Carpe Diem. 02/07/12 10:01:04	11

	It's amazing how low a coke addict will stoop. 16/06/12 10:09:51	11

	Removes all dirt, odours and foreign bodies. 15/06/12 19:01:18	11

	Honda Jizz. 19/05/12 19:10:46	11

	Grandpa prayed the recession would end before they had to eat the other child's legs. 23/04/12 19:04:39	11

	Pity in pink. 20/07/12 10:17:52	1 10

	Final diary recording: My exploration is going very well. I have found an unusual new species of bird. Oi you little bugger stop pecking my water bottle.... 16/07/12 19:07:13	10

	Pole position. 09/07/12 10:03:08	10

	Snails place. 26/06/12 10:00:17	10

	Kindergarden cop. 14/06/12 10:00:23	10

	Pour working conditions. 22/05/12 19:01:09	10

	Teddie Kidd. 21/05/12 19:00:17	10

	Obi Wanker Nobi 08/05/12 11:31:26	10

	A stab in the park. 02/08/12 19:00:29	9

	Sausage Rolls. 31/07/12 19:00:14	9

	Unfortunately pot death runs in our family. 28/07/12 10:06:31	9

	This should rule out another hung parliament. 23/07/12 19:07:15	9

	With friends like that who needs enemas? 04/07/12 10:00:18	9

	Barry was the exhibitionist, Sid was a little more koi. 02/07/12 10:00:34	9

	That's the last time we use Vanish. 15/06/12 19:00:14	9

	High whisk activity. 26/04/12 19:00:28	9

	Land Rover. 21/07/12 10:02:40	8

	The nap on this carpet is excellent. 11/07/12 19:00:25	8

	Bmi baby. 10/07/12 10:13:28	1 8

	Sandra, have you been using Bounce in the dryer again? 06/07/12 20:41:26	8

	Fright hair on Elm Street. 04/07/12 19:05:15	8

	Some people really are hoopless. 29/06/12 10:00:41	8

	Will you stop hogging that bloody computer! 21/06/12 19:00:29	8

	Mr T sends his unwanted jewellery to Cash4Gold. 22/05/12 19:00:26	8

	Wax on. Whacks off. 19/05/12 19:25:00	8

	Hot Dodge. 31/07/12 19:00:32	7

	Doolally Lama 28/07/12 19:57:43	7

	This club must have a great bra tender. 15/07/12 10:05:04	7

	Trap Dora 29/06/12 19:04:49	7

	Be back in a sec, love. I just dropped me chips. 09/06/12 19:00:37	7

	Must get around to dealing with that nasty crack in the window. 09/06/12 19:00:11	7

	"Can this machine bear heavy loads?" "It already is." 22/05/12 10:10:36	7

	We love you long time - for extra fee we even take out our teeth. 27/07/12 10:01:18	6

	Did someone dial canine nine nine? 21/07/12 10:04:44	6

	Chimp my ride. 18/07/12 10:00:18	6

	Police believe they were killed by a mad Axminster murderer. 11/07/12 19:05:30	6

	Brest city tour. 08/06/12 19:08:52	6

	Er, lads, I don't think this 'fight fire with fire' idea is working. 08/06/12 14:56:44	6

	The face that lunched a thousand chips. 20/05/12 19:42:45	6

	Get your boat you've pulled. 16/05/12 19:03:36	6

	Football Crazy. 13/05/12 11:20:15	6

	Remains located of North Korea's first manned space flight. 04/05/12 22:08:41	6

	Big kid, little kid, cardboard box. 23/04/12 19:01:26	6 6

	Cook before you leap. 27/07/12 19:13:01	5

	Motorhead. 26/07/12 10:08:52	5

	Jacwho?zzi. 19/07/12 10:00:29	1 5

	♪♪I've got your number...written on the trap of my hand♪♪ 14/07/12 19:02:37	5

	They found his body on a Sundae. 12/07/12 10:03:45	1 5

	I think therefore I RAM. 03/07/12 19:01:17	5

	After you finish indoors, you can clean the outer space. 17/06/12 10:06:01	5

	Topiary of the Pops. 15/06/12 10:00:29	5

	Crimp my ride. 12/06/12 19:02:30	5

	Is this for Rhodes? No, it's a ship you moron. 12/06/12 10:17:18	5

	Deutsche Bonk. 21/05/12 10:52:12	5

	Everyone finish applying the arsenic then let's hide before those bloody kids come back. 24/04/12 10:28:07	5

	Claire completely misunderstands her optician's guarantee that putting glasses on will make things look bigger. 19/04/12 10:18:26	5

	Beach bum 17/04/24 19:10:26	4

	Quazimotor. 26/07/12 10:09:49	4

	Shit Creek - does that flow out of Moon River? 22/07/12 10:19:23	4

	Gimp my ride. 20/07/12 19:16:15	2 4

	She would be a better player if she wasn't always flat on her Bach. 17/07/12 10:00:45	4

	Hell ow Moto. 14/07/12 19:06:30	4

	Hello Police? I think my phone's been trapped. 14/07/12 19:00:26	4

	Police suspect he was killed because of a family Viendetta. 12/07/12 10:00:22	4

	♪♪ Heads, shoulders, knees and doze. 28/06/12 19:12:52	4

	Since they built the toilets downstairs complaints have flooded in. 19/06/12 19:00:48	4

	My new cleaner is out of this world. 17/06/12 10:00:37	4

	How the hell did I get roped into this? 13/06/12 19:10:06	4

	Sally spent weeks practising for her passing out parade. 12/06/12 10:02:06	4

	Light headed. 11/06/12 19:00:38	4

	On the down side, I think my husband is dead. On the plus side, the cat loves the new wallpaper. 10/06/12 10:02:17	4

	Sam: FRODO! Frodo: I'm here, Sam. Sam: Destroy it! [Frodo holds the ring on its chain over the edge of the pit] Sam: Go on! Now! Throw it in the fire! [Frodo stares at the ring, the ring whispers to him] Sam: What are you waiting for? Just let it go! [Frodo turns and looks at Sam, before letting the ring fall into the fire] [Pause] Voice offscreen: Oi! What's that midget doin' in 'ere? Security! 22/05/12 19:02:25	4

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Linda D

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