	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	76	1	1	#13	1	3	#28	8112	22662	#8
Comments	20				1	1	#6	342	360	#24
Photos
Forum Posts								4
Suggested Edits	2							4	5	#12

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	1	#13	10	#25	14313	#15
Comments					212	#34
Photos					326	#45
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					5	#12

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	Booby Trap 30/09/23 7:06:34	28

	creative x5 Step, Toe & Sun 12/03/14 12:37:33	28

	lol x3 Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold. 30/07/13 11:21:55	3 27
July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
	lol x3 "You spoil that bloody bat!" 27/04/20 11:12:35	25

	lol clever x2 "Have you been mis-sold PPE?' 03/04/20 7:09:53	25

	lol x2 creative 'Been up since 4.am. Got a brilliant caption for the 8 a.m photo but I think it's gonna be a bit obvious. There's bound to be other captioneers thinking the same thing. I know, cut and paste. Oh five seconds to go. Finger hovering over add caption button...4..3 ..2 ZZZZZZZ ' 02/05/19 7:16:05	1 25

	clever x2 Pros and Cons 21/10/16 11:54:20	25

	Bruised Wayne 18/09/12 19:10:56	24

	lol x2 "Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?" 26/06/24 11:10:15, edited: 26/06/24 11:15:21	2 24
Really refreshing to see a narrative caption doing well, nice work Cap Auth. --James Lennox
	lol "Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit" 24/06/19 19:30:04	24

	lol Never try to leave a barbers without paying 01/07/21 11:19:39	3 23
Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean

lol creative 01/10/18 19:04:56		20 23
I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments --Mark England
	lol x3 creative In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses 23/01/17 20:16:38	3 23
It's based on Don King's unique hairstyle --Mark England
	lol creative x2 Cuepid 27/08/13 19:01:41	23

	"The journey was so slow. It kept stopping at every lamp-post" 01/03/24 12:03:31	22

	lol x2 "Trek 300 miles across the plains in search of water? Fuck that I've just got a flight for £4.99 on Ryanair. Lands 10 minutes from the watering hole" 15/01/24 12:28:36	1 22
The flight is £4.99, but the extra weight over the standard limit will be another £4990. --Molly R
	lol The Scottish version of Knight Rider had a car called KILT. 06/11/23 8:12:43	1 22
Curious to see what's under the bonnet --Boycie
	lol creative "OK, I agree, people shouldn't pollute the sea with rubbish and plastic but you have to admit... this polystyrene has come in handy" 30/09/21 19:52:45	1 22
Pmsl --Karen Oakenfull
	lol Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg 08/09/21 11:15:15	2 22
Around the M25 in 80 days. Sounds about right. --Dan Nicholls
	lol creative x2 Police arrange an identity parade for a woman who claims that she was being watched through a keyhole of a swimming pool changing room 22/10/18 19:44:22	22

	It's situated in a close knit community 15/02/17 20:06:24	22

	Booby Trapped 24/11/23 8:09:50	21

	lol "I swear if I catch you swinging past my daughter's bedroom again I'll...." 30/09/23 11:02:06, edited: 02/10/23 11:45:50, suggested edits	1 21

	lol "John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?" 13/09/23 19:03:13	21

	clever x3 No one is talking about the elephant in the room 30/05/22 7:44:43	21

	Even mutes can get Tourettes 18/05/21 11:17:50	1 21
Do sailors say clean things when they get Tourette's? --Willie Johnson
	Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise 22/05/20 11:12:57	1 21
But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea. --Woofer 6
	"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.." 30/06/19 11:05:59	21

	"All I did was order a pint of cider" 02/04/16 19:05:57	21

	Lavish 06/05/23 7:00:54	20

	clever "Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign. 17/02/23 8:05:41	20

	clever x2 "Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?" "Miaow" 28/06/21 11:39:48	20

	lol clever The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel 13/04/21 19:45:32	20

	"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves" 08/07/20 7:25:57	20

	Air Raid Sirens 05/05/20 19:11:08	20

	creative Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything! 22/03/18 12:09:42	20

	lol x2 "My nose is running" "So is the fucking groom.... DAVE!" 24/11/13 20:20:38	1 20
lmfao...bravo. --Ross Davidson
	"Take me to your weeder" 19/09/12 7:01:41	4 20

	Like a Wine Stoned Cowboy 06/09/12 11:10:26	20

	8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys 23/08/24 19:03:33, edited: 23/08/24 19:10:23, suggested edits	1 19

	"I'm fed up with this. Can't we just buy a lemon squeezer?" 11/06/24 19:03:36, edited: 11/06/24 19:04:45	19

	Dave Laboured away putting up his Christmas decorations, while Tracy was a bit more Conservative 07/01/24 12:09:11	1 19

	Thinks "These humans must be vicious, they're all muzzled" 18/10/23 19:05:54	19

	lol x2 creative "Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" 26/08/23 11:09:32	5 19
Feel free to experiment on any of my captions, Dave --Vivvy En
	lol "Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea" 07/09/21 7:14:09	2 19

	lol "You're smiling now but you'll regret getting them done when you're older" remarked his dad with his Tandy, Blockbuster Video, Rumbelows, Do It All, Texas, and Woolworths tattoos. 27/02/21 20:39:51	3 19
Great thinking on this one. Love it --The Wolf
	It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit 07/07/20 7:03:05	19

	lol "Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?" 30/04/20 7:27:16	19

	lol Some Paralympic events simply do not work 09/04/20 7:35:58	1 19
I hate myself, but I can't stop laughing at this. --James Lennox
	lol "I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse" 16/08/19 11:04:54	19

	"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'" 19/09/18 7:53:27	19

	clever They lead up to A Flat 07/02/17 12:13:01	19

	lol "I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy" 10/05/15 11:16:55	4 19
in your opinion. --Lucky Elperro
	"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night" 05/04/15 11:00:58	19

	lol x2 "Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears" 11/07/14 20:00:38	1 19
Is it just me, or this the best round of captions in ages? I love this. --Michael Winner
	Gerbal Tea 05/07/14 11:19:27	19

	"Run Forrest Run" 24/03/14 20:16:35	19

	George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team 26/01/14 10:37:47	19

	Raveheart 05/10/12 11:08:49	19

	"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1" Pie rates of the Caribbean 29/08/12 11:52:52	19

	Walkies with dinosaurs 25/04/14 11:07:08	18

	Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats 31/08/12 11:14:25	18

	Only pools and horses 28/08/12 11:44:28	18

	clever He snuffed it 30/10/24 12:00:38	18

	"What a dilemma" thought Dave. Sitting there with his Arachnophobia, a carton of milk, a spoon and a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. 25/05/24 7:17:26, suggested edits	4 18
Suggested edit just tweaks the punchline, Cap Auth. I like it as it is regardless. --James Lennox
	lol x2 Even though he was sweating his nuts off in the dog suit, Dave would do anything to avoid paying the train fare. 18/10/23 19:02:35	18

	Filly O Fish 18/10/23 11:09:48	18

	Fanny By Gaslight 05/01/23 8:23:00	18

	"...and no funny business" 13/09/21 7:05:29	1 18
It's a clown so that's a given. --Barrie Bullock
	Water Canon 07/07/21 11:22:43	18

	"It might look cute, but the "African Pygmy Piranha Dog' just takes 30 seconds to take down and skin an adult zebra.." 21/08/20 11:09:41	18

	Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon 10,000 volts shot up its arse And turned its wool to nylon 17/08/20 7:54:46	2 18
Shocking --John Glover
	lol "It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian" 19/08/19 8:37:25	18

	lol "You spoil that bloody hamster" 30/03/19 8:06:50	18

	Isle of Nan TT 28/08/18 11:07:39	18

	lol Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune. 07/02/15 20:29:27	18

	clever 🎵 It's such a purrfect day... 25/09/24 19:08:26	17

	I've always wondered how she gets that parting in her hair. 13/09/24 11:09:42	17

	lol x2 Most people are surprised when they see the inner workings of a robot 15/08/24 11:17:30	17

	lol "...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" 08/08/24 11:07:13, edited: 08/08/24 11:09:00	2 17
That's surely not a cider monkey? --NotAsFunnyAsYourMum
	Talk about flogging a dead horse 17/04/24 11:01:41	17

	clever 🎵 Tiers on my pillow 25/02/24 20:03:31	17

	...and that morning his poor little daughter got into trouble for going to school with bullets, a service rifle and a Swiss Army knife. 25/07/23 19:29:09	17

	That black masking tape is gonna hurt when they pull it off. 26/06/23 11:03:32	17

	You think that's big? Look at the size of the Brussel Sprouts behind her 18/02/23 12:09:40	17

	lol I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech 11/07/22 11:07:35	17

	lol "Sir, do you mind running through it again?" 22/06/21 11:05:16	1 17
"Do you mind running through the halls naked and screaming? Yes you do mind? Then do you mind if I do it after a question like that?" --Willie Johnson
	"Blimey your dog is reading that book. That's amazing" "Not really, he's supposed to be studying for his police exam" 28/05/21 11:17:19	17

	The lower sign is for constipated bats 08/04/21 7:08:47	17

	creative Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers 20/01/21 8:26:26	17

	creative "The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked" 01/12/20 11:28:19	17

	clever Con Heir 23/03/20 20:02:36	17

	Sealicone implants 13/03/20 20:08:04	2 17

	lol "So how will I recognise you?" 24/11/19 21:01:22	17

	"Well, I told you not to pull its tail" 16/11/17 20:27:03	1 17
Anon. As itâ€™s panto season you missed â€˜Oooohâ€™ from the start of your comment --Mr Dome
	Blob the Builder 03/10/17 19:00:51	1 17
...specializing in REALLY HEAVY construction. --Greg Curtis
	lol "Don't roll your eyes at me" 27/08/17 19:08:24	17

	lol x2 "You spoil that bloody Dingo" 01/04/15 20:51:15	1 17
must be me but its a bit sick! --Bad Boy Dennis.
	clever x2 Japanory 25/09/14 11:05:16	17

	creative x2 After successfully choreographing the Y.M.C.A dance, the dancers found that D.I.V.O.R.C.E by Tammy Wynette was harder to master. 15/05/14 19:24:32	17

more captions

last comments (total: 578)

Thanks, James

(caption author)

27/06/24
7:57am

comment on caption:
"Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?" [Mark England]

Probably not many, that would wipe the spider out straight away!

01/07/24
11:16am

comment on caption:
"Blimey, Dave. There's more humane ways to kill a spider" [Mark England]

That's surely not a cider monkey?

NotAsFunnyAsYourMum

08/08/24
11:19am

comment on caption:
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" [Mark England]

Monkey Shine?

Scrijjy Doo

08/08/24
2:03pm

comment on caption:
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" [Mark England]

Yes. That's better, Kathleen. Thanks

(caption author)

23/08/24
7:11pm

comment on caption:
8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys [Mark England]

If you've ever seen Year of the Rabbit, Joseph Merrick's a theatrical diva and a party animal 🥳

Glyn Evans

19/09/24
11:41am

comment on caption:
"I'm not an animal. I'm a human being" Coming to cinemas soon: The Giraffe Woman [Mark England]

That's a really clever caption, it shows the power of love.

One day, I hope my daughter will grow up to be a hunger striker and dirty protester

That would make me so proud 🥲

Glyn Evans

18/10/24
3:49pm