Caption.me is a free spirited, reasonably good natured and fun site that doesn't necessarily pander to linguaphobes. It's why I enjoy the site.

I take scoring on here very, very seriously.

With enough sheer determination and hard work I hope that the captions I add will bypass my overall score and over time I hope to even double, triple or quadruple this.

Please stop reading now because it doesn't get any more interesting from here on in. Trust me, but if you read any further you all do so at your own risk.

Any homicides, suicides or related domestic violence as a result of continuing to read this are a decision you have made and are willing to subject yourself to.

Just so you know, and in case dear reader you are a trigger fixated reactionary looking for any opportunistic excuse to absolve themself or themselves of any past or future actions, and this may be triggering, but the responsibility is entirely yours.

This, like Catcher in the Rye and other listed works did not make you do it, or anything else for that matter. It did not possess you, it is simply a poorly made excuse masking what you truly desire. Well, I do have doubts about The Very Hungry Caterpillar and why the caterpillar keeps telling me to buy a sniper rifle to rid the world of chimney sweeps...those long brushed carrying soot covered wedding lucky scumbags ...but that's another story. An unconvincing one, but another story.

Anyway I'm becoming distracted. Fucking chimney sweeps, distracting me. Why can't chimney sweeps just leave me alone so I can live in a happy chimney sweep free world? Is that so much to ask? 😭 I must be strong...

With the brute force of caption quantity, I will overcome the tyranny of quality. Yes, anyone that has previously or in the future will win has deservedly done so and I do not contest this as no one will beat the totally rad caption to vote ratio numbers I have created myself. However there may very well be contenders that see the kudos and value I have and may challenge me for ultimate supremacy. Give it time and a chosen one will rise from the captions. One day.

The thought of having a winning caption of the month (not that I have or even could do this if I was able to) scares the living shit out of me and it's best that I avoid this. It's only because it would most certainly ruin the continuity of the flawlessly winning reputation I have acquired thus far.

In response and not having the inconvenience of receiving any type of award or reward I would like to thank my entire species and anyone that may have made some sort of worthwhile or inspiring contribution because they will understand the concept of gratitude as they are human and therefore can communicate. I will give product placement mentions later.

Thanking any other species I believe will be COMPLETELY lost on them and they can therefore go FUCK themselves. Furthermore I look forward to their subsequent EXTINCTION as we need to make more space ON THIS PLANET for even more humans. I apologise, the CAPS lock appears to be sticking. It's most likely the work of chimney sweeps. There's probably soot underneath the key. Anyway returning to rant, maybe after all the other animals are dead we as humans we can make a grand gesture and hold a small but symbolic protest where we hold a two minute silence for the total annihilation of all the other animals before our own untimely end. Yes, that's it - it will make us feel so much better about ourselves as it always does. This acceptance speech is detracting from thanking those that mean something or are familiar to me rather than humans I don't quite know who'd I'd happily sacrifice for my own benefit and survival because of my insular mindset. Yes, but this acceptance speech is getting far too bogged down in seriousnessness. Something cheery. Kittens, yes you will find many kittens on caption.me. Yes, photos of kittens that are now extinct. Just to make a point about endangered species, but kittens won't become extinct as they're far too much valued as a novel consumable to be let go.

That is unless the chimney sweeps get their way with their beady eyes, jolly demeanour and exceptional ability to hide in the dark, they're plotting something...somewhere they are...but who knows what and at what cost? 💰🤑

I am so proud that I have tallied this total so far and that it shares a similar algorhthym with humanity, may long shall it continue!

P.S. If anyone does think of reading this, in the profile below I've dispensed with shorter captions...if you're at all clamouring for some or are wondering why there aren't many or any? 🧐

Not that anyone would know what shorter captions were here beforehand so therefore they'll not be missed 🎻😥

This is only as I believe the shorter captions contained were less developed, more likely to be simple wordplay or a play off a familiar brand. It's fine though as you'll be able to find these more or less anywhere. For me there's nothing particularly unique or special about them so off they go 🙄

There are a few exceptions (I've got to cover myself for the ones that have been missed) but most that haven't been eliminated after this point are longer captions.

Only as they might (not always) be more imaginative...oh, and people took or had the time to read them, whether they enjoyed them is a different story! 🤔😂