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	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	3134	3403	#56
Photos		62	276	#10
Comments	3	241	249	#34
Forum Posts		1
Suggested Edits	2	1	3	#15

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	13718	#17
Photos	769	#26
Comments	377	#23
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits	5	#12

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	clever Died hard fans 10/04/23 7:00:51, edited: 10/04/23 7:02:20	7

	“Are you sure there’s a £10,000 prize in these eggs Malcolm? I reckon it’s in them Cadbury ones?” 02/01/23 20:17:09, edited: 02/01/23 20:18:55	7

	lol Boss: “Stop! Did you just hear that twang?” Twang: “I didn’t hear anything but I think a cable just snapped.” 08/10/22 11:15:24	7

	Tonight On - Struggling Young Mothers: “I thought that the consequences of swallowing pips and seeds was a myth.” 24/06/22 11:09:30	7

	lol I’m assuming the rectum insertion ban came about from that incident involving some lads on a stag night in Wales, who drunkenly decided to fill up the groom’s arse with a gallon of unleaded. He became too ill to even walk. But thanks to a massive fart and a nearby smouldering ashtray, the groom made it to the church on time…….in the Bahamas….a week early. 15/06/22 18:35:59	7

	Janey’s friends couldn’t understand why she just let anyone push her around. 29/01/22 20:17:34	7

	“Oh darling. Home at last from our wonderful, adventurous honeymoon in India. And now we’re relaxing in the bath of our new home as a married couple. Any regrets?” “Er……just being forced to walk over those hot f*cking coals really.” 15/09/21 7:12:42	7

	The Stone Rosies 19/12/20 8:05:07	2 7
They are the Hardest Thing in the World --Mr Dome
	lol When you've driven like an idiot to order a double bacon and egg McMuffin and get told "No sorry" because it's 11.01am. 23/09/20 22:37:28	7

	"What do you mean you planned today so you can kill yourself? What the hell are you on about?" 05/09/20 11:43:25	7

	"I've been at this shelter for 3 years. They're getting a bit desperate now to get me re-homed." 06/06/20 7:06:39	7

	"Stay on the line please while I connect you to someone who can help." 27/05/20 19:09:44	7

	As the Police approached, Geoff told his dog to act normal. 24/03/20 8:46:22	7

	Club feet 04/05/19 7:11:00	7

	To produce and record their first single, the band needed sponsorship. They contacted over a thousand companies and businesses but to no avail. Then, just as they were about to give up altogether, they got a phone call from Playtex.... 03/05/19 19:33:37	7

	"Tonight on "˜Where Are They Now?' - Kajagoogoo." 05/04/19 19:21:58	7

	"Right. I want y'all to put your hands up, then I'm gonna take all your money and all your jewellery, then I'm gonna make y'all strip naked, then I'm gonna shoot y'all. But first...........a song .." 28/03/19 11:02:17	1 7
"Please, no- just shoot us!" --Michael Winner
	Wall Huggers Welcome 25/03/19 14:40:57	7

	lol "He's got his mum's looks, and his dad's legs." Said Brooklyn's nan when she took this photo of her first grandchild. 27/07/16 12:08:22	7

	Ahmed couldn't understand why she was acting so weird all of a sudden. They'd only been married a week. 02/07/15 16:36:01	7

	There's a wrApp for that. 13/05/14 15:45:55	7

	Jean thought a fiver wasn't bad for an original pair of Pat Butcher's earrings. 03/09/14 7:52:14	6

	There goes Sterling Moss. 22/06/14 12:17:33	6

	Spot The Emu Competition Mark an 'X' where you think Emu is and win Â£500! 12/05/14 21:09:07	6

	All was going so well until a rival placed a cucumber on the beam. 30/03/24 20:05:47	6

	Clean up begins after the town’s annual Wet Kipper Slapping Contest. 16/03/24 8:08:52	6

	I’m gonna wait until there’s a sale on. 30/12/23 21:35:41	6

	A lot of women don’t realise the implications involved if they go unshaven for even just a year. My misses didn’t shave ever, and now her hairy nether regions belong to the National Trust. She can’t even tidy it up a bit without getting permission from the Forestry Commission. Nightmare. 17/09/23 7:29:33, edited: 17/09/23 7:32:17	2 6

	I went on my first blind date last night, we decided to go for a meal at the new French restaurant that had just opened. She had frog’s legs and chicken breasts but I didn’t stay long enough to comment on her personality. 01/06/23 12:48:39	1 6

	As an initiation, everyone had to endure an extreme wedgy. 08/02/23 20:21:31	6

	One Man And His Frog 30/12/22 9:53:29	6

	When you’ve suffered a landslide, the perks of knowing someone whose brother knows a bloke that works with a mate of his uncle’s whose sister married his youngest cousin who is a cleaner at a Formula 1 stadium is an absolute God send. 24/11/22 8:12:44	2 6
I remember elderly relatives who couldn’t remember someone’s name and used to go all round the houses like this till their audience said Oh I know who you mean. --Neil Mackenzie
	“Are you alright love? You look as though you’ve just seen a goat.” 04/10/22 7:46:10	2 6

	Neville thought of a clever way to stop being constantly molested by young, sexy, female atheists. 08/12/21 8:01:34	6

	…..…and he definitely will be if he eats that ‘decorative’ raw chicken kiev. 19/11/21 8:02:40	6

	That traditional look of terror you show when someone under the table hands you a piece of cake. 16/08/21 11:08:38	6

	“Right son, I’m just gonna pop you on top of the roof next to the chimney, while I get this finished. It’s a bit too dangerous down here lad.” 09/08/21 7:35:19	6

	"More sandwiches anyone?" "No thanks, we're stuffed." 14/07/21 11:01:39	6

	"Ohhh it's a lawn mower." 05/07/21 11:04:08	6

	Note to self. Remember to sand down horn tips slightly before putting a dress on over my head. 01/02/21 11:45:51	6

	"Can't believe we're watching Janet from accounts having a shit!" 12/11/20 12:13:04	6

	Dalek Begs To Be Exterminated 09/11/20 20:04:16	6

	".......and then I shot him." 28/10/20 8:37:12	6

	Scottish people tend to stand out in hot countries. 27/10/20 20:40:41	6

	"Don't give this drawing to Mummy Chloe. Last night she was banging her head on the fridge door and shouting "Why do we have all these fecking A4 sized shit drawings and paint splodges of fecking rainbows and blobs on here!? I can't find the fecking fridge door handle anymore. Geoff! come and get me another wottle of bine for fuck sake. Then she told daddy that she swore to drunk she wasn't God. 12/10/20 15:12:00	6

	lol When you're 5,000 miles away on a 2 week "business trip" and you jog to meet your mistress on the beach, but before you reach her, you spot your wife and kids getting out of a light aircraft to give you a wonderful surprise. 09/10/20 22:01:47	6

	Jim wished the bell would ring so he could go to the next speed date. 09/09/20 7:20:46	1 6
She's picking out the wedding invitations already. --Willie Johnson
	What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple? 03/09/20 21:36:19	3 6
Finding half a human? --Willie Johnson
	"There's just not enough statues anymore." 02/09/20 11:28:17	6

	"I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy." 07/08/20 11:04:33	6 6
Had to google it - I can see what you mean now x --Rachel P
	There's some weird Christmas trees lately. 06/08/20 11:06:08	6

	"Fancy a shot of red eye Sheriff?" "Not today chlamydia Jane." 03/08/20 13:08:47	2 6
Lol willy ðŸ˜‚ --Karen Oakenfull
	ABBA Road 14/06/20 19:00:50	6

	The men opposed plans to open something called a "Wine Bar" 12/05/20 7:13:06	6

	"Please don't cave my head in with a spoon." 05/05/20 7:24:05	6

	" I'll keep hold of his leg, you nick what you can from his pockets." 17/03/20 20:05:35	6

	Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the cupboard, To get her poor doggy a bone. But when she got there, The cupboard fell on her head and flattened her. 23/06/19 20:03:44	6

	After much bidding, the orchestra was finally sold for Â£58,000. 18/04/19 12:38:29	6

	It's handy being a witch if you can't get a signal on your mobile. 16/04/19 15:58:45	6

	Following a mastectomy, Nan had her left breast preserved as a keep sake. 18/03/19 20:10:50	6

	"I so glad we're married at last darling, but getting on the property ladder could take decades." 01/03/19 20:06:13	6

	Ever wondered what Ian Botham did with all that Shredded Wheat? 30/08/17 19:19:06	6

	I’ve seen this film before. 28/04/24 19:03:31	5

	Face lift 29/03/24 12:04:26	5

	“Mum wants you to come home right now or she’ll give your dinner to the dog.” 02/03/24 8:07:15	5

	creative Meanwhile, over at the Christmas Fancy Dress Party on the liver failure ward…. 05/12/23 10:34:49	5

	The plane had to make an emergency landing, but there’s always one idiot who goes down the inflatable slide head first. 23/08/23 19:04:33	5

	“Joe, that’s part of my toupee you’re eating.” “What meeting? Cancel it..” 18/07/23 7:24:15	5

	Art Gecko (Nod to 21:50:22) 16/07/23 0:25:15	5

	Apparently this latest invisible spray is going to be a global bestseller. I can’t see it myself. 05/12/22 20:04:35	5

	She’s lovin’ it! 22/11/22 12:04:53	5

	There’s a superstition in the African village where I recently went on a fact finding mission. It goes something like, “If a knock at your door can be heard, at midnight on March the 3rd, Pray don’t reply, or you will die, and be boiled in a pot well stirred.” Well I didn’t believe in such superstitious nonsense, and I actually answered the door at midnight on March 3rd. Thankfully I’m able to tell this story through a wonderful medium called Dora. 10/11/22 8:03:11, edited: 10/11/22 8:03:55	5

	Shitting on top of the world! 04/11/22 20:01:30	5

	“No I don’t want to go for a swim in a bowl of custard!” 07/10/22 22:45:03	5

	It’s New Year's Eve and the nuns wait patiently for all clear so they can do the Conga around the courtyard. 06/10/22 20:36:47	5

	After much deliberation, Ted went for slice C4. 29/09/22 18:40:24	5

	“Can I have the key to the shed please?” “You’re not going in my shed Dennis!” “I don’t want to, I need the f*cking spanner.” 11/09/22 19:08:17	5

	“Tonight on, Who Lives In A House Like This? - Peter Crouch.” 20/06/22 12:00:05	5

	“On the bright side though Terry, you only lost the one ear.” 18/06/22 7:17:40	5

	“Hahahahahaha…..Er….I’d want you to buy me two Kalashnikov rifles, wear nothing but a pink mankini, and wheel me through the town, like we own the place, and scaring the shit out of everyone.” 6 months previous…. ”Yeah but Grandad, you never know. What if I DID win or be in the top 3 at the Eurovision Song Contest, what shall we do to celebrate?” Asked Sam. 17/05/22 22:49:03	5

	“Hey Janet. Thought you said you were gonna hang that awkward basket yesterday?” “Changed my mind. Gonna shoot him instead.” 23/01/22 12:08:47	5

	Even after staying in the exact same position for over 9 hours, no one realised that Olav the contortionist had suffered sudden death syndrome. The only consolation for his family was that he died in his own arms. (Mick Miller.) 19/12/21 21:15:55	2 5
Sudden Death Syndrome is much worse than Covid. Very few people recover from it. --James Lennox
	I see Johnny Depp isn't fairing too well since the trial. 20/06/21 11:55:37	5

	They had been heavily drinking and smoking drugs every evening for the last month. Something was wrong. Harry looked into the fire and knew it was Sirius. 22/05/21 15:45:50	5

	"This carpet off-cut is shaped like a flat bear so I added eyes and a nose ha ha ha." "Gerald I want a divorce." 20/05/21 7:15:45	5

	lol Pictures taken in the late 70's have emerged of Hartley Hare, (now aged 104) following claims that he was unfairly sacked and cruelly silenced after he reported Mr Pipkin and Topov to the producers. He claimed that he was struggling to work with them because they were always snorting cocaine behind the scenes and permanently stoned. He decided enough was enough when he saw them spike a camera man's coffee with LSD. He then witnessed what he claimed, "Made "˜Animal Farm' look like an episode of The Clangers!" A lawyer representing the accused, (now deceased) denies all allegations and claims that Mr Hare left the series of his own volition following an unnamed cast member accusing him of being as "Bent as a nine bob note", and threatened to sell the story to The News Of The World. The said cast member accidentally fell off a 400ft cliff shortly afterwards and for obvious reasons, cannot be called as a witness. Mr Hare insisted this was nonsense and a cover-up for what really happened. His best friend Giles is hoping the case for compensation will be settled out of court, because they've got their eye on a quiet, remote bungalow in Iraq. The case continues. 02/04/21 20:03:58	7 5
...Y' beat me to it. --Greg Curtis
	"What cheese was that?" 26/02/21 8:01:21	5

	🎵......and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIIIIIIIIII..... 21/01/21 13:19:43	5

	Currently showing at The Royal Shakespeare Theatre: Romeo And Julian 28/12/20 11:51:39	5

	"Can you drop me off on the corner of Milton Street please Geoff?" 22/12/20 12:04:02	2 5
True story: When I was young I was taking the bus with (apparently) a new driver and he took a wrong turn. He didn't know how to get back on the route, so I said that I would tell him how to get back if he would go down my street (which was on th... --Willie Johnson
	Well that was a quick reincarnation! Maradona back already? 09/12/20 1:38:34	5

	The irony lol. I fake it, and my partner says I sound like I'm "being eaten alive by an alligator" during orgasm. Mad. 10/11/20 12:03:22	5

	"I know I can only play one chord Agnes, but can you sing something other than Kum ba f*cking yah?" 20/10/20 7:04:55	5

	Typical of people these days. Nobody stops to help. 17/10/20 18:23:41	5

	"Shhhh..I'm going to push him in front of the next bus. I'll sort my bridesmaid out later." 23/09/20 12:35:51	5

	"Mummy, now that dad's on leave from the Army, let's listen to the afternoon play that you and uncle Bob from next door usually listen to." 07/09/20 12:59:08	5

	I don't fancy throwing that back over to next doors much. 26/08/20 8:07:50	5

	"Jenny stop now, I think she's dead." 18/08/20 19:41:50	5

	Despite all the hype about the West End's latest show, it didn't take off. 13/08/20 9:07:10	5

	"Did you remember to add superglue to your mum's lipstick?" 31/07/20 20:08:17	5

more captions

last comments (total: 124)

Thanks James. That’s much better. I love this edit suggestion option. I’ve written a lot of captions that have the idea, but a re-write can make the world of difference. Plus you learn more about creating better captions.

(caption author)

19/01/24
8:11pm

comment on caption:
When asked about his heroism during the glue factory explosion, Dave replied "Has anyone got any solvent to get this prick off my back?" [Karen Oakenfull]

I think the one in the middle looks a bit like Alvin Stardust.

Dave Bryan

23/03/24
8:38am

comment on caption:
I see Shawaddywaddy are still doing the rounds. [Karen Oakenfull]

Well the best thing to do is provide them with a picture with no stag at all. See how long it takes them to realise they've been had.

Or on the other hand that they're so narcissistic that their self worth is pivoted on proving themselves to the declaration that if they can find the deer (that doesn't exist) then they must have a very high IQ! 🤣

Glyn Evans

27/04/24
9:13pm

comment on caption:
“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” [Karen Oakenfull]

Funny 😄

(caption author)

27/04/24
10:14pm

comment on caption:
“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” [Karen Oakenfull]

I've got a print myself...actually I bought several more to reassure myself that I wasn't going mad as I just couldn't see that deer. Repeat the process as it were...but it just didn't work, I wasn't seeing it.

It turns out that I'd had them all hanging up the wrong way all of these years!

However the way that I've got them hung up now I'm sure that I should be looking for a polar bear in the mist or a reindeer as they're a lot whiter than the other side 🤗

Glyn Evans

28/04/24
7:31am

comment on caption:
“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” [Karen Oakenfull]

I've got that one, it's actually a snowy owl in a blizzard.