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	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	4443	6341	#38
Photos
Comments	3	685	724	#14
Forum Posts		79

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	9153	#27
Photos	809	#24
Comments	590	#15
Forum Posts

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	lol x2 "Why are you leaving the job?" "The doctor says I've got parking zones disease." 11/02/17 20:48:38	1 25
Thank you for all the votes. That's my highest score to date. :) --Pussy Galore
	clever How many times do I have to tell the kids not to accept lifts from strangers? 15/01/17 12:03:17	1 21
Thanks for the votes everyone, this is my highest-scoring caption to date. :) --Pussy Galore
	clever Braking news 11/10/16 19:16:20	20

	creative Super collie's fragile biscuits fix his halitosis. 11/11/18 10:27:30	4 19
Reminded me of the greatest football headline ever printed -When Celtic suffered a shock defeat by Inverness Caledonian Thistle in the cup --' Super Caley go ballistic Celtic are atrocious.' --stone face
	Cash on Delivery 05/08/18 19:30:19	18

	clever x2 "Business is slow today, son. Release the pigeons." 01/06/18 22:24:11	18

	Cat-a-pillar 28/12/18 10:34:16	17

	Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman! 21/10/18 8:57:54	17

	Game of Thrones 19/02/17 12:33:15	3 17
Ha ha. He's already got one, lol. ;) --Pussy Galore
	It's very odd, but when I started wearing these, I couldn't take my hat off. Then I realised I'd left the caps lock on. 14/01/17 8:20:16	17

	creative clever I thought we'd park here to be on the safe side. 16/09/16 11:00:32	17

	In the year 2050, the local takeaway proudly announces that it hasn't put its prices up since 2018. 22/10/18 12:03:09	16

	lol x2 "We're trying to get him out of the habit. None of us dare yawn at home." 26/08/17 9:52:28	14 16
Wow, thanks everybody! I'm in the game for the laughs and never expected to win, and this isn't even my highest-scoring caption, so it's doubly surprising! I think this calls for a celebration (Pussy reaches for a tin of salmon, purring loudly... --Pussy Galore
	clever "Excuse me, there's no toilet paper in the Gents." 29/03/17 11:03:45	1 16

	They're both guilty - it's written all over their faces. 16/11/16 20:07:13	16

	lol "I think I know what the problem is," said the doctor. "He's not eating properly." 13/10/16 19:14:10	16

	Watch their eyes light up when I open a tin of salmon. 10/08/16 11:57:15	16

	"My head hertz." 09/11/18 20:06:42	15

	Mick was exhausted after digging a hole to try and hide the yacht he'd stolen. 13/07/18 14:33:38	15

	Who says it takes two to tango? 07/07/18 21:39:22	15

	"Darling, have a word with the kids, will you? They've put the fish in the washing machine again." 09/06/18 9:21:50	15

	The Dark Knight Rises 12/08/17 19:18:15	15

	After a lengthy investigation, the cops decided the eggs hadn't been stolen, they had simply been mislaid. 06/05/17 16:25:57	15

	lol Thit! Don't you jutht hate it when you bite your tongue. 31/10/16 20:05:20	15

	lol I didn't think anyone still used the Galaxy Note 7. 16/11/18 10:14:58	14

	Well, that locksmith did get me in, but I'm not sure I'd use him again. 17/08/18 19:07:17	14

	"Mum says when you've finished meditating, can she have her tea-towel back?" 16/01/18 13:10:26	14

	The wife always buys me a pair of boxers for Christmas. 21/10/17 19:01:28	1 14
Looks more like the day after Christmas to me. --Crunchy Chords
	clever Mother always says take an overgoat in case it turns chilly. 15/01/17 12:04:49	14

	Takeaway menu: Try our family bucket deal. 28/11/16 9:41:12	14

	KenChucky Fried Chicken. 14/11/16 22:17:21	14

	clever Meals on wheels 21/08/18 11:18:12	13

	🎵🎵 We're in the Monet 21/07/18 17:03:50	13

	"I've fixed your mother's bedside lamp, darling." 11/04/18 11:18:47	13

	"Gran, you're making an exhibition of yourself again." 12/10/17 19:04:12	13

	Earwigs 16/02/17 20:04:51	4 13
Have mine :) --Mr Dome
	He just wanted a brief glimpse. 03/02/17 8:05:43	13

	"Harry! The grandkids have been feeding Tommy with your Viagra tablets again!" 23/11/18 20:00:21	12

	When looking for intelligent life, the dish always points away from earth. 13/07/18 9:02:59	12

	"Hello, banking services? Can you tell me why I can't withdraw any cash, please?" "Certainly, Madam. It appears you're badly overdrawn." 24/06/18 11:00:15	12

	Don't shoot the messenger. 26/05/18 19:07:03	12

	We're expecting a bulletin 26/05/18 19:00:36	12

	Mail shot 26/05/18 19:00:12	12

	"...and seventy five condoms, please. I'm doing sex education with Year 10 boys tomorrow." 17/12/17 20:54:14	2 12
You counted them, didn't you? Sad thing is I just checked. --Vivvy En
	My brother got the silver spoon in his mouth. I had to make do with the napkin ring. 30/09/17 9:25:01	12

	All dolled up with nowhere to go 31/08/17 11:00:15	12

	"Slow down, guys! I've pulled a mussel." 31/07/17 19:19:50	12

	lol Invasion of the Killer Toilet Roll Holders. 31/05/17 9:33:28	12

	clever Welcome to the human race, son. 31/03/17 20:03:31	3 12

	"Which flat does Bob live in?" "I haven't a clue." 06/02/17 12:01:57	12

	A nice bowl of Pot Purry will enhance any room. 23/01/17 12:00:32	12

	Well, it's not fit for human habitation, that's for sure. Let's rent it out to students. 13/01/17 9:25:02	2 12
with the students in them? --Mr Dome
	"How did he get up there?" "He's been eating helium balloons again." "Oh well, whatever floats your goat." 30/11/16 10:34:14	12

	Impressive Aperture. 05/11/16 14:11:01	1 12
hahahaha --sandeep chahal
	clever It makes a great getaway vehicle. Totally confuses forensics. 24/10/16 19:07:05	12

	lol Only fools and Hearses 24/08/16 11:07:00	12

	🎵 Now bring us some twiggy pudding, Now bring us some twiggy pudding, Now bring us some twiggy pudding And bring it out here." 🎵 23/12/18 20:24:04	11

	Put your money where your mouth is. 23/12/18 14:10:14	11

	🎵 Honda first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me... 🎵 22/12/18 10:20:54	11

	Put the kettle on, love. I'm spitting feathers here. 10/12/18 23:43:24	11

	Have you met our new lab technicians? 03/12/18 12:52:48	11

	When librarians have children. 02/12/18 12:32:10	11

	She's a lovely girl. Never a crossword. 01/12/18 21:33:59	11

	After a spell of poor trading, they have been re-named The Folding Door Company. 16/11/18 12:21:12	11

	You never know when there's a kidnapper lying in weight. 17/08/18 11:30:14	11

	Swamped with work 09/08/18 19:00:28	11

	Tune in next week when our experimental chef tackles TV dinners. 27/07/18 19:44:05	11

	"I'm just popping in the shoe shop. I'll meet you back here," said his wife, five hours ago. 09/06/18 12:18:15	11

	"Did you remember the magazines for the coffee table?" 03/06/18 19:00:08	11

	There are times you have to be grateful you don't play the double bass. 02/06/18 19:02:06	11

	"Youngsters are too soft these days. In my day it was vinegar and brown paper." 26/05/18 18:44:54	11

	My caravan has been stolen again. Police are beginning to see a pattern. 30/10/17 10:33:19	11

	Stick another burger on the Barbie. 31/08/17 19:00:07	11

	"Let's go to Mull of Kintyre for our holidays," you said. "The scenery is breath-taking," you said. 19/12/16 14:07:35	11

	Larry was disappointed to wake up and find he wasn't tucking into a giant slice of watermelon after all. 26/12/18 21:02:07	10

	Are you sure this is how you play tick tack toe? 19/12/18 12:15:52	10

	B*llocks to shopping, thought Steve. 06/12/18 9:46:53	10

	lol Everything was fine until he got picked up by the fuzz. 02/12/18 11:20:03	10

	"Are you absolutely sure you want a piggy-back?" 23/11/18 16:48:01	10

	"I know my mother is superstitious, George, but you still won't put her off coming to visit." 18/08/18 19:18:49	10

	Tat for Tits 18/06/18 12:59:35	10

	clever It's an interesting idea for a chess set but it does make it hard to concentrate. 20/12/17 13:45:23	10

	Dummies for Windows 01/12/17 10:31:21	10

	There's always something clogging up the streets these days. 24/11/17 10:23:47	10

	lol "Doctor, my nipples are clogged." (Belated nod to Sat 19:30:47, which I have only just seen. Sorry.) 28/10/17 23:59:34	10

	"What the hell's this? I've been given a barking ticket!" 17/10/17 15:10:06	10

	Customers found it difficult to leave the shop because they'd put all their basques in one exit. 15/09/17 11:00:22	10

	That new aftershave brought Jim out in hives. 21/06/17 19:01:46	10

	"No thanks, it's gone coaled." 24/04/17 13:53:31	10

	Nigel stared in wonder at this new type of e-reader. Why had nobody thought of it before? No batteries, no recharging, and even allowed on the plane. 06/04/17 7:40:51	1 10
...also, instant load times, no backlight glare, and you can read it in the bath. I'm just off to Kickstarter... --Michael Winner
	They knew she'd be nervous on the ride, so in a last-ditch effort to stop her biting her nails, Ellen's parents resorted to the broom handle through the sleeves trick. 26/02/17 12:41:15	10

	clever So that's what baited breath looks like. 22/02/17 12:06:03	10

	creative 🎵🎵 Like a ciabatta out of hell 🎵🎵 13/02/17 0:50:00	10

	"Ma'am, the breathalyser shows that you've had a few stiff ones." "It can tell that as well? Oh my word, isn't technology these days amazing?" 03/02/17 22:54:45	10

	🎵 I see you baby, stood on that ass. 🎵 25/01/17 9:50:47	3 10
Sheikh on that ass? --Ross Davidson
	Post traumatic stress 25/08/16 12:30:46	1 10
1st Class Act --Tiny Alien
	Cutting Hedge Technology 16/08/16 11:54:52	1 10
Abit high tech for me. --John Glover
	"Have you flossed recently?" "No, I just sort of shuffle round the dance floor a bit." 29/12/18 21:27:31	9

	Scientists have noticed that bears are developing a taste for fast food. 21/08/18 11:21:59	9

	clever Don't walk and text 14/08/18 8:22:07	9

more captions

last comments (total: 136)

He doesn't, he has two sisters.

[anon]

13/05/17
8:19pm

comment on caption:
I didn't know Zaphod Beeblebrox had a sister. [Pussy Galore]

Anon, if Zaphod is one person with two heads, surely his sister would be one person with two heads, not two sisters? Anyway, Zaphod doesn't exist, so why are we splitting hairs. lol?

(caption author)

13/05/17
8:27pm

comment on caption:
I didn't know Zaphod Beeblebrox had a sister. [Pussy Galore]

Should this be 'please feel free'?

[anon]

20/05/17
11:09am

comment on caption:
If you have any queries during your visit, please feel free to consult one of our friendly, approachable guides. [Pussy Galore]

Yes, thank you. Corrected.

(caption author)

20/05/17
1:46pm

comment on caption:
If you have any queries during your visit, please feel free to consult one of our friendly, approachable guides. [Pussy Galore]

"It was before you walked on it love". #bitchy

[anon]

19/06/17
3:24pm

comment on caption:
"Ewwww! I thought this was a dog-free beach!" [Pussy Galore]

I think I'll give chocolate flavour a miss.

Pussy Galore

24/06/17
8:58am

comment on caption:
The other nostril dispenses strawberry flavour. [Pussy Galore]

Haha, reminds me of today's SMBC Webcomic: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/bedtime

Michael Winner

29/06/17
9:08pm

comment on caption:
That's the trouble with deceased clowns. You can never bury them deep enough. [Pussy Galore]

Love the word widdled.

Pete

01/07/17
8:30pm

comment on caption:
Ever since a dog widdled up her leg, she wasn't taking any chances. [Pussy Galore]

My tablet originally auto-corrected widdled to wielded!

(caption author)

01/07/17
10:14pm

comment on caption:
Ever since a dog widdled up her leg, she wasn't taking any chances. [Pussy Galore]

Inspired by a childhood experience of taking Aunty's dog for a walk, when he mistook my leg for a lamp post. Mind you, that's not the only thing he mistook my leg for. ;)

Pussy Galore

04/07/17
9:50pm

comment on caption:
Ever since a dog widdled up her leg, she wasn't taking any chances. [Pussy Galore]

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