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The fruits of my labour.

16/10/20 7:19:01

Meanwhile there's trouble at pepper mill

03/10/20 20:18:33

"Any other business? Yeah, I think I've done some in my pants."

26/09/20 11:06:31

Groundhog Day for Craptioneers

13/09/20 19:17:43

He's popped his Kellogg's

09/09/20 19:10:09

He lead them into battle.

30/08/20 11:26:40

Captioneers Arm Wrestling Competition

Winner can choose one from the following:
(a) mannequin;
(b) cat;
(c) copy of Gulliver's Travels;
(d) date with Dave.

20/08/20 11:01:16

Scaredy cats

13/08/20 11:28:16

"Now let's remove his testicles. That's a whole new ball game."

07/08/20 8:34:10

Boris's dog trying to organise a piss up in a brewery.

01/08/20 7:14:54

Well she did fall for his pickup lines.

30/07/20 11:02:43

This was in my fortune cookie before I became a nun.

20/07/20 19:07:07

"You do realise this is Caption.me and somebody will put a cat among us..?"

19/07/20 7:14:20

"I'm just putting the bubbles in now, M'Lady"

17/07/20 8:03:27

Water Polo

14/07/20 19:00:46

Message from beyond the grave.

04/07/20 12:14:58

She used to be a sex cymbal

25/06/20 11:03:06

Groucho Barks

06/06/20 7:00:08

June?

29/05/20 19:00:51

Lemon drizzle

23/05/20 19:00:10

Gangs of bike thieves target lone bulls cycling to work.

12/05/20 19:16:40

"You've got bookworms."

03/05/20 7:30:03

Ursa Minor

17/04/20 7:16:18

Now you've wet your pants.

14/04/20 11:36:54

"You're right. It's a jungle out there."

14/04/20 7:22:19

Taste buds

11/04/20 7:14:29

"I'll give it a whirl."

09/04/20 11:04:18

Mend your ways.

08/04/20 19:05:36

Only £2.99 (slightly soiled).

04/04/20 19:03:55

Guide Dog for the Colourblind

16/03/20 20:00:15

"It's very sad. She's started to cut herself."

13/03/20 8:21:28

"If the Tudors managed with a stick and a sponge, who needs toilet paper?"

11/03/20 12:22:21

"It's untrue that cox size doesn't matter."

05/03/20 20:00:29

Time to self isolate with your Corona.

04/03/20 20:12:09

Painting by Numbskulls

04/03/20 12:00:35

Buoy George

02/03/20 12:49:17

Men are like umbrellas. Too much wind and they're useless. Personally, I left mine in the pub.

31/01/20 13:08:34

"Don't worry dear, it's only a couple of seagulls"

19/01/20 8:14:49

"Wow, she's no oil painting."

13/01/20 8:09:21

"Right I'm off to shave my bum. On second thoughts, he can do it himself."

11/01/20 21:23:08

The Crate Escape

09/01/20 12:05:55

It belongs to the Swedish House Mafia

04/01/20 8:43:18

Seafood always gives me a funny turn.

01/01/20 8:46:29

Our Christmas Tree's gone to pot.

26/12/19 20:09:39

He's slightly exaggerating the size of his friend's nose.

21/12/19 12:02:24

"Tell your Mum the convention for humorously large fruit and vegetables is next door."

19/12/19 8:18:52

I've always thought cornflakes were pants.

15/12/19 8:55:57

The Second Coming

14/12/19 8:00:30

I'm not spending a penny on one of those.

05/12/19 20:06:16

"Hit one more duck and we've got enough tokens for the giant dildo!"

09/11/19 20:02:13

The Incredible Sulk.

05/11/19 20:01:58

"Anyway, my Mum says I'm going to Eton."
"No- going to be eaten."

04/11/19 8:20:19

Cat napping.

02/11/19 20:53:49

He's a Control-Alt-Delete freak.

19/10/19 11:02:58

"Mum, I've got the part of Atlas in the school play."

12/10/19 7:34:19

The traffic's murder round here.

11/10/19 7:03:18

Hygiene rating: 4 (last year 2). He is risen.

07/10/19 19:16:33

He's actually a Clerk from Kent.

30/09/19 7:17:56

This week on Homes Under the Hammer, we look at Uncle Tom's Cabin.

27/09/19 7:05:30

"Don't bend it like Beckham!"

04/09/19 19:08:59

He was stiff long before 2017.

15/08/19 19:00:27

Foetal attraction

14/08/19 7:14:04

No self-service.

13/08/19 7:19:48

I was expecting more puns. The cornea, the better.

12/08/19 20:22:16

At least the beer's got a good head on it.

24/07/19 19:01:24

The goalie's suffering from percussion.

17/07/19 19:16:49

"Stop ursine around!"

13/07/19 11:12:39

Braking Bad

10/07/19 19:15:28

On his stag night they threw him in the Ganges. Same thing happened to his fiancée on her Hindu.

09/07/19 19:24:17

Which hunt

04/07/19 7:31:11

It was just a storm in a teacup.

23/06/19 19:08:56

The bride was so beautiful she blew everyone away.

20/06/19 11:00:08

The Government sends a powerful message to all pensioners entering care homes.

11/06/19 19:19:09

As I quickly found out, neither of them were much interested in sex.

08/06/19 15:54:09

Shop till you droop

03/06/19 11:14:26

"You two kept me up all night with your coffin."

23/05/19 11:13:35

More recipes available on www.wecloganyarteries.com

21/05/19 11:29:26

Alloy Vera?

20/05/19 20:59:25

"Thanks guys for picking up the tab. I'll pay next time.."

07/05/19 11:01:53

Four dyslexics walked into a bra

03/05/19 19:29:45

A Plume with a View

03/05/19 7:00:30

Security guard training school

02/05/19 7:55:58

A sanctuary for cats and mannequins.

30/04/19 7:28:03

"Can I have a gander inside?"

25/04/19 19:02:07

"It can't be an Audi, it's got indicators."

22/04/19 19:32:48

Never trust a gypsy when she tells you you'll be getting on a plane and sitting on a beech.

21/04/19 7:39:23

Luckily we managed to find Marge Simpson's breast implant.

14/04/19 19:16:14

"Quick run - it's the anal bleaching guy again!"

14/04/19 7:06:03

I don't think you should drink when you're on tablets.

12/04/19 19:04:08

Brian longed for a good shag in his bedroom.

28/03/19 21:25:31

"I'm gonna need a bigger throat.."

21/03/19 20:16:07

Pity he won't shave his plums.

19/03/19 8:23:12

🎵 I like big butts and I can not lie.. 🎵

17/03/19 8:00:10

Insects Symbol

25/02/19 20:09:56

My other animal is a shyer horse.

18/02/19 12:12:29

"Oh no, we've had poachers!"

28/01/19 12:00:51

Boney M & M's

10/01/19 20:02:36

To be honest I think that's a bit out of order.

02/01/19 12:00:42

This pic reminds me of caption.me. One or two nuts but overall a lovely bunch.

28/12/18 20:06:54

"Anyway this is my last shift. I've got a job as a bouncer."

22/12/18 20:18:47