super vote: ( left this week)
Only £2.99 (slightly soiled).
04/04/20 19:03:55
Guide Dog for the Colourblind
16/03/20 20:00:15
"It's very sad. She's started to cut herself."
13/03/20 8:21:28
"If the Tudors managed with a stick and a sponge, who needs toilet paper?"
11/03/20 12:22:21
"It's untrue that cox size doesn't matter."
05/03/20 20:00:29
Time to self isolate with your Corona.
04/03/20 20:12:09
Painting by Numbskulls
04/03/20 12:00:35
Buoy George
02/03/20 12:49:17
Men are like umbrellas. Too much wind and they're useless. Personally, I left mine in the pub.
31/01/20 13:08:34
"Don't worry dear, it's only a couple of seagulls"
19/01/20 8:14:49
"Wow, she's no oil painting."
13/01/20 8:09:21
"Right I'm off to shave my bum. On second thoughts, he can do it himself."
11/01/20 21:23:08
The Crate Escape
09/01/20 12:05:55
It belongs to the Swedish House Mafia
04/01/20 8:43:18
Seafood always gives me a funny turn.
01/01/20 8:46:29
Our Christmas Tree's gone to pot.
26/12/19 20:09:39
He's slightly exaggerating the size of his friend's nose.
21/12/19 12:02:24
"Tell your Mum the convention for humorously large fruit and vegetables is next door."
19/12/19 8:18:52
I've always thought cornflakes were pants.
15/12/19 8:55:57
The Second Coming
14/12/19 8:00:30
I'm not spending a penny on one of those.
05/12/19 20:06:16
"Hit one more duck and we've got enough tokens for the giant dildo!"
09/11/19 20:02:13
The Incredible Sulk.
05/11/19 20:01:58
"Anyway, my Mum says I'm going to Eton.""No- going to be eaten."
04/11/19 8:20:19
Cat napping.
02/11/19 20:53:49
He's a Control-Alt-Delete freak.
19/10/19 11:02:58
"Mum, I've got the part of Atlas in the school play."
12/10/19 7:34:19
The traffic's murder round here.
11/10/19 7:03:18
Hygiene rating: 4 (last year 2). He is risen.
07/10/19 19:16:33
He's actually a Clerk from Kent.
30/09/19 7:17:56
This week on Homes Under the Hammer, we look at Uncle Tom's Cabin.
27/09/19 7:05:30
"Don't bend it like Beckham!"
04/09/19 19:08:59
He was stiff long before 2017.
15/08/19 19:00:27
Foetal attraction
14/08/19 7:14:04
No self-service.
13/08/19 7:19:48
I was expecting more puns. The cornea, the better.
12/08/19 20:22:16
At least the beer's got a good head on it.
24/07/19 19:01:24
The goalie's suffering from percussion.
17/07/19 19:16:49
"Stop ursine around!"
13/07/19 11:12:39
Braking Bad
10/07/19 19:15:28
On his stag night they threw him in the Ganges. Same thing happened to his fiancée on her Hindu.
09/07/19 19:24:17
Which hunt
04/07/19 7:31:11
It was just a storm in a teacup.
23/06/19 19:08:56
The bride was so beautiful she blew everyone away.
20/06/19 11:00:08
The Government sends a powerful message to all pensioners entering care homes.
11/06/19 19:19:09
As I quickly found out, neither of them were much interested in sex.
08/06/19 15:54:09
Shop till you droop
03/06/19 11:14:26
"You two kept me up all night with your coffin."
23/05/19 11:13:35
More recipes available on www.wecloganyarteries.com
21/05/19 11:29:26
Alloy Vera?
20/05/19 20:59:25
"Thanks guys for picking up the tab. I'll pay next time.."
07/05/19 11:01:53
Four dyslexics walked into a bra
03/05/19 19:29:45
A Plume with a View
03/05/19 7:00:30
Security guard training school
02/05/19 7:55:58
A sanctuary for cats and mannequins.
30/04/19 7:28:03
"Can I have a gander inside?"
25/04/19 19:02:07
"It can't be an Audi, it's got indicators."
22/04/19 19:32:48
Never trust a gypsy when she tells you you'll be getting on a plane and sitting on a beech.
21/04/19 7:39:23
Luckily we managed to find Marge Simpson's breast implant.
14/04/19 19:16:14
"Quick run - it's the anal bleaching guy again!"
14/04/19 7:06:03
I don't think you should drink when you're on tablets.
12/04/19 19:04:08
Brian longed for a good shag in his bedroom.
28/03/19 21:25:31
"I'm gonna need a bigger throat.."
21/03/19 20:16:07
Pity he won't shave his plums.
19/03/19 8:23:12
🎵 I like big butts and I can not lie.. 🎵
17/03/19 8:00:10
Insects Symbol
25/02/19 20:09:56
My other animal is a shyer horse.
18/02/19 12:12:29
"Oh no, we've had poachers!"
28/01/19 12:00:51
Boney M & M's
10/01/19 20:02:36
To be honest I think that's a bit out of order.
02/01/19 12:00:42
This pic reminds me of caption.me. One or two nuts but overall a lovely bunch.
28/12/18 20:06:54
"Anyway this is my last shift. I've got a job as a bouncer."
22/12/18 20:18:47
"I always sleep in the feetal position."
22/12/18 12:00:18
"Is that a porn mag you're reading?""Don't worry, I'm getting off soon."
15/12/18 20:02:24
I've been expecting a couple of big bills from the plumber.
15/11/18 12:12:06
"I'm not sure which one is grocer."
15/10/18 8:10:18
The question on everybody's lips: was Wallis Simpson taking the Mick?
09/10/18 8:03:42
"To be honest, I found the crotch sniffing a little unprofessional"
22/09/18 19:13:15
Victoria's Secretion
16/09/18 19:10:39
Olive usually went on the buses.
09/09/18 19:19:55
Comes with 2 matching cochons.
01/09/18 7:01:09
Camp Puss receptionist.
30/08/18 19:03:51
She might be strong but she's no oil painting.
22/08/18 19:01:55
I've found the perfect birthday present for my girlfriend, Marge.
10/08/18 19:51:36
"Don't worry Mrs Brown, we've collared the suspect"
08/08/18 11:33:03
Ahhh... the little Alistair Darlings
03/08/18 14:26:00
Jurassic Bark
27/07/18 12:02:21
As she left, I knew it would end in tears.
25/07/18 19:10:21
Lion-all Messy
25/07/18 7:00:39
Ride and Sikh
21/07/18 19:03:02
Biker Grieve
19/07/18 8:38:39
James and the ordinary sized Pineapple
02/07/18 7:34:03
I found them both under a Chinese gooseberry bush.
17/06/18 7:14:46
"Hurry up Elton, say goodbye to it."
12/06/18 7:04:25
"I think I'll take mine home in a doggy style bag."
10/06/18 8:05:46
Billie Piper regretted moving to Hamelin.
07/06/18 8:36:46
New from our "Clogs Your Arteries" range
28/05/18 7:47:56
These new bags have caused quite a stir fry
20/05/18 7:50:20
Precautions are taken as Kirk Douglas's birthday cake is lit.
19/05/18 8:19:31
Nathan's social life was going downhill fast.
18/04/18 7:24:46
576 - 585 566 - 575 556 - 565 546 - 555 536 - 545 526 - 535 516 - 525 506 - 515 496 - 505 486 - 495 476 - 485 466 - 475 456 - 465 446 - 455 436 - 445 426 - 435 416 - 425 406 - 415 396 - 405 386 - 395 376 - 385 366 - 375 356 - 365 346 - 355 336 - 345 326 - 335 316 - 325 306 - 315 296 - 305 286 - 295 276 - 285 266 - 275 256 - 265 246 - 255 236 - 245 226 - 235 216 - 225 206 - 215 196 - 205 186 - 195 176 - 185 166 - 175 156 - 165 146 - 155 136 - 145 126 - 135 116 - 125 106 - 115 96 - 105 86 - 95 76 - 85 66 - 75 56 - 65 46 - 55 36 - 45 26 - 35 16 - 25 6 - 15 1 - 5
Fantastic! May your perforations continue to remain aligned.
comment on caption: "What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Great caption, well done Vanessa!
Congratulations Vanessa. Your caption's a hit!
Thank you all for the votes and lovely comments. I can see you're all DAB hands at these toilet puns. 😀
Vanessa you deserve a big box of Ex Lax chocolates.
Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa!
This was no bog-standard caption, Vanessa! Congratulations.
Well done Vanessa - really good captions again from you last month. And nice one for your donation too
Splendid caption Vanessa! hearing you'd won was like music to my rear.
It's the biggest (asp?) I've ever seen.
comment on caption: "Does my asp look big in this?" [Vanessa the Guesser]
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Fantastic! May your perforations continue to remain aligned.
9:11am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Great caption, well done Vanessa!
9:56am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Congratulations Vanessa. Your caption's a hit!
11:00am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Thank you all for the votes and lovely comments. I can see you're all DAB hands at these toilet puns. 😀
11:18am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Vanessa you deserve a big box of Ex Lax chocolates.
11:44am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa!
11:49am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
This was no bog-standard caption, Vanessa! Congratulations.
1:43pm
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Well done Vanessa - really good captions again from you last month. And nice one for your donation too
3:59pm
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Splendid caption Vanessa! hearing you'd won was like music to my rear.
6:31am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
It's the biggest (asp?) I've ever seen.
8:06am
comment on caption:
"Does my asp look big in this?" [Vanessa the Guesser]