super vote: ( left this week)
He did threaten to topiary himself.
22/04/20 7:12:57
"You know what they say about people with large ears?""No, I'm stone deaf."
12/04/20 19:00:51
I forgot it was a leap year.
01/04/20 7:31:33
Police searched the suspect's nest and found large stashes of toilet paper, eggs and bleach.
28/03/20 8:07:13
Beware of garden ornament thieves during lockdown.
24/03/20 8:06:31
"We're gonna need a bigger nappy"
15/03/20 20:05:34
Always take an old bag shopping.
15/03/20 12:00:41
Energy Bill
08/03/20 20:00:21
In the lap of the Gods.
22/02/20 8:00:41
NHS bosses deny using outdated technology. They faxed this picture over as proof.
19/02/20 8:26:08
He's just finished a shift at the Jam Butty Mines.
18/02/20 21:29:50
A souvenir from that Spicy Italian I had.
11/02/20 8:01:07
I see somebody's given the poor girl a black eye.
28/01/20 20:11:39
Biggles the flying snowman is to be decorated by the Queen.
11/01/20 12:20:24
The Queen plans a frosty reception for Meghan and Harry.
09/01/20 20:00:35
"Damn.. I think I've pea'd myself."
06/01/20 20:16:40
I always go for a quick dip on New Year's Day.
01/01/20 8:28:49
🎵 Oh commode all ye faithful 🎵
30/12/19 13:37:38
Too much sherry and now he's Wii'd himself.
21/12/19 9:08:12
"Right so we've got the pineapple, where will we get the cheese from?"
11/12/19 12:52:47
In the long run he'll probably cost us a sovereign.
05/12/19 12:01:02
"Call an ambulance!""It's too late - he's gone Steiff."
27/11/19 8:26:48
Rise and shine!
20/11/19 12:53:07
"Let's do our best to scare Prince Andrew.""Ok, no sweat."
18/11/19 8:02:28
Hey fatty brum brum
26/10/19 12:01:21
The disappointment when you've been promised you won't be able to sit down for a week.
16/10/19 19:03:37
The annual Caption.me bonding day at Harry Potter land was very popular this year. (Pictured l-r back row, Anon, Anon, Anon, front row, Anon, Anon, Anon).
08/10/19 19:11:31
He'll be Scarred for life.
06/10/19 11:33:45
Unfortunately, there's always a catch.
06/10/19 7:17:44
Unexpected item in the teabagging area.
05/10/19 11:03:31
That's thoughtful. Road signs for grieving seagulls.
04/10/19 11:57:21
Oh! MG
01/10/19 19:04:50
Mocha Do About Nothing
28/09/19 11:13:42
It was so fortunate that their parents were able to get time off work to attend the ceremony.
25/09/19 7:08:31
Time for a bit of male ponding.
05/09/19 19:05:48
Wake up and smell the covfefe
30/08/19 7:34:23
A tail of whoa!
23/08/19 19:02:57
Tot Cat
22/08/19 7:00:23
Buy one, get one free range
20/08/19 7:06:49
Breast feeding
18/08/19 7:00:38
My horse has broken down. He needs to be toad away.
16/08/19 11:02:02
You know you've had a great hen night when you walk home knickerless with pictures of a cockatoo on your phone.
14/08/19 20:20:47
He'll end up back in Borstal doing another long stretch.
14/08/19 11:03:13
Please note this hotel may not be suitable for guests with mobility problems as it's situated at the top of a hill.jacknjill1972
12/08/19 7:31:12
It's not on my bucket list.
12/08/19 7:08:03
I love potatoes with those come to bed eyes
10/08/19 7:14:26
"Call me old fashioned, but I don't like a bed without drawers."
10/08/19 7:06:19
Bea & Queue
03/08/19 7:38:40
Changing gear
02/08/19 7:03:22
I often see them in Farmfoods
31/07/19 13:44:02
"To the infinity pool and beyond!"
19/07/19 12:04:43
Baptism of fire
12/07/19 15:02:21
Unfortunately Huckleberry's un-Finnished
06/07/19 11:23:26
That's her organism face.
19/06/19 11:07:32
"No more sherry for me. I'll have to go cold turkey."
13/06/19 19:17:43
Cervix with a smile
05/06/19 7:01:44
Agnes has now been hashtagged.
27/05/19 19:19:28
This reminds me of my greedy ex-wife. She was a big bird.
19/05/19 11:24:34
Mrs Dome
18/05/19 11:49:08
Lilliputians accused of upskirting as Gulliver's girlfriend walks past.
12/04/19 7:33:15
"Excuse me sir, can I ask you what's in the trunk?"
28/03/19 12:03:57
Banksy's Vitruvian Man
25/03/19 8:12:26
May the fork be with you
23/03/19 8:00:39
Looks like an in cider job.
17/03/19 12:02:30
It's a terrible affliction and there's no known manicure.
10/03/19 20:12:16
Care for a mulled whine?
09/03/19 21:22:50
Pop!
08/03/19 8:00:07
Good willy hunting
28/02/19 12:02:19
Posh Spice chooses her new tapeworm.
19/02/19 8:03:12
They didn't usually see eye to eye. Mainly because Harold was a lot taller.
17/02/19 8:15:16
The Great British Beak Off
17/02/19 8:00:16
Frocky Horror
06/02/19 20:12:47
"Yeah, we're having a romantic night in and maybe a little wookie later"
26/01/19 12:25:34
🎵 Leader of the pack 🎵
13/01/19 20:05:24
Mewlin Rouge
02/01/19 8:09:44
The Christmas office party can be deemed a great success if you've lost your bra and shoes by 8 o'clock.
13/12/18 20:17:33
WhatsYapp
03/12/18 12:32:29
My Newsagent always has pictures of pussies on the top shelf.
08/11/18 12:01:22
Great value. A pussy, a knob and a knocker all in one pic.
04/11/18 12:02:15
"Item 1 on the agenda. Who's been eating all the ants?"
03/11/18 12:02:28
Skinny dipping
31/10/18 12:02:20
🎵 Like a limestone cowboy 🎵
19/10/18 19:01:48
A career spent rounding up hookahs.
18/10/18 11:03:07
Everyone pegs out: the end.
10/10/18 11:11:16
"Is this a Formula 1 circuit?"
17/09/18 11:10:20
One of Jamie's 30 minute meals recipes
08/09/18 7:22:22
"I had an abominable journey into work this morning."
21/08/18 7:14:15
All tank drivers need a break now and then
20/08/18 7:05:00
It's the passing slug family I feel sorry for.
18/08/18 19:29:26
Not quick enough? These'll help you ketchup.
18/08/18 11:02:55
David searched high and low for Victoria.
16/08/18 11:03:10
"Look, just tell Jim Bowen you don't want the speedboat."
11/08/18 7:45:57
Cuben Heels
28/07/18 11:13:06
"Tastes a bit orangey"
27/07/18 20:16:37
"I'm glad it's not my turn to do the dishes."
13/07/18 7:23:53
"I have a ream"
30/06/18 21:23:47
Bone idle.
29/06/18 7:03:44
I don't remember Eric Morecambe starring in Grange Hill?
26/06/18 19:27:09
The Highway Enigma Code
07/06/18 11:18:32
"That's right Officer, I found her loitering within tent."
29/05/18 7:06:07
576 - 585 566 - 575 556 - 565 546 - 555 536 - 545 526 - 535 516 - 525 506 - 515 496 - 505 486 - 495 476 - 485 466 - 475 456 - 465 446 - 455 436 - 445 426 - 435 416 - 425 406 - 415 396 - 405 386 - 395 376 - 385 366 - 375 356 - 365 346 - 355 336 - 345 326 - 335 316 - 325 306 - 315 296 - 305 286 - 295 276 - 285 266 - 275 256 - 265 246 - 255 236 - 245 226 - 235 216 - 225 206 - 215 196 - 205 186 - 195 176 - 185 166 - 175 156 - 165 146 - 155 136 - 145 126 - 135 116 - 125 106 - 115 96 - 105 86 - 95 76 - 85 66 - 75 56 - 65 46 - 55 36 - 45 26 - 35 16 - 25 6 - 15 1 - 5
Fantastic! May your perforations continue to remain aligned.
comment on caption: "What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Great caption, well done Vanessa!
Congratulations Vanessa. Your caption's a hit!
Thank you all for the votes and lovely comments. I can see you're all DAB hands at these toilet puns. 😀
Vanessa you deserve a big box of Ex Lax chocolates.
Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa!
This was no bog-standard caption, Vanessa! Congratulations.
Well done Vanessa - really good captions again from you last month. And nice one for your donation too
Splendid caption Vanessa! hearing you'd won was like music to my rear.
It's the biggest (asp?) I've ever seen.
comment on caption: "Does my asp look big in this?" [Vanessa the Guesser]
email us
Fantastic! May your perforations continue to remain aligned.
9:11am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Great caption, well done Vanessa!
9:56am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Congratulations Vanessa. Your caption's a hit!
11:00am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Thank you all for the votes and lovely comments. I can see you're all DAB hands at these toilet puns. 😀
11:18am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Vanessa you deserve a big box of Ex Lax chocolates.
11:44am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa!
11:49am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
This was no bog-standard caption, Vanessa! Congratulations.
1:43pm
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Well done Vanessa - really good captions again from you last month. And nice one for your donation too
3:59pm
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Splendid caption Vanessa! hearing you'd won was like music to my rear.
6:31am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
It's the biggest (asp?) I've ever seen.
8:06am
comment on caption:
"Does my asp look big in this?" [Vanessa the Guesser]