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Diggy paddle

29/08/19 7:30:40

Meals in wheels

27/08/19 19:01:15

This pizza has been withdrawn due to lack of interest.

24/08/19 20:07:14

A seabiscuit too many.

23/08/19 19:39:16

The hole shebang.

22/08/19 19:25:45

Chow chow mein

20/08/19 19:00:28

Lots of fibre certainly makes you go.

17/08/19 20:01:28

You're never too old for a good shag

12/08/19 12:02:14

Watch out for shoppers having a right Barney.

08/08/19 19:35:53

webuyanycar.com told me to spruce it up.

07/08/19 7:24:12

As she approaches retirement, Molly Malone gets someone else to do the hard work.

05/08/19 7:07:28

It's a flea pit!

31/07/19 19:10:06

clever

A domestic cat.

18/07/19 8:33:59

Wedding sows should be taken seriously

17/07/19 13:13:59

Jolly Roger Federer

17/07/19 7:06:29

One of the Chippendales

08/07/19 19:00:46

Not many guys would stand up for him.

03/07/19 7:03:02

Fancy dressage

01/07/19 19:03:15

Simon Cowell just gets ruder.

29/06/19 11:04:32

Is the strength of the pound weakening against the Euro?

23/06/19 7:31:33

"I'm not eating that."
"Is it cos it is black?"

20/06/19 19:11:46

Sandals Resorts - see our all inclusive holiday packages

18/06/19 19:00:25

The heaviest Spice Girls, Hairy and Mosh.

09/06/19 19:27:01

Kylie has lost her hair extensions but police are combing the area.

05/06/19 19:42:50

The Danish Girl

31/05/19 21:18:21

They've got the painters in.

30/05/19 11:00:41

🎵 Stick it in the family albumen

28/05/19 11:00:18

BBC2 tonight, 9.00 pm - Bongs of Praise

27/05/19 19:01:20

There used to be a green man on this crossing.

25/05/19 9:06:07

"Sorry, I have a short attention span."

24/05/19 11:48:17

He looks well groomed.

21/05/19 19:01:31

"Why were you so long at the shops, nephew?" moaned his cross aunt.

20/05/19 11:09:15

"Esso S"

18/05/19 7:00:08

Oz has shortest queues for heart transplants.

10/05/19 7:06:52

"Sh*t! Look at all those fire engines over there!"

09/05/19 20:07:51

Knight terrors

09/05/19 11:48:19

Ready for The Italian Job

02/05/19 11:08:43

Lots of people would enjoy a knee-trembler with a marine

01/05/19 7:22:43

Warren Peace

20/04/19 19:00:41

The problem with freezing men is remembering to reach one out three hours before you want one.

20/04/19 11:38:36

Bridget Jones's Dairy

17/04/19 11:08:38

The Big Gangbang Theory

09/04/19 11:01:43

"Ignore gran. She's at that funny espionage."

08/04/19 11:07:52

They're stuck in turd gear

07/04/19 19:09:07

"These imported Nicorette patches are crap."

03/04/19 19:04:05

He might need to have that addernoid removed.

23/03/19 21:32:36

It was unfortunate that they were all vegan and therefore unable to eat the elephant in the room.

11/03/19 12:08:29

Banana Republican

08/03/19 12:50:31

Brian wet himself in excitement at having discovered the world's largest glacier mint.

07/03/19 12:06:52

Nuclear family time.

06/03/19 12:20:05

🎵 Never gonna give you up 🎵

03/03/19 20:42:06

Smog Marry Avoid?

03/03/19 20:01:41

I prefer octopus in boots

02/03/19 9:59:47

George was enjoying his retyrement.

20/02/19 12:00:07

They were feeling pressure in the temples.

19/02/19 20:38:34

Nokiaturnal

07/02/19 20:42:10

"I'm sorry, but cox size does matter."

24/01/19 20:00:11

Old buoy racer.

13/01/19 12:00:19

Jester Piggott

08/01/19 20:01:42

You need a massive flag to cover that ugly erection.

07/01/19 20:03:46

"I hope he'll take down our particulars."

07/01/19 8:08:30

Carpus Christi

06/01/19 20:07:48

Bramaid

01/01/19 12:00:08

It needs a jump start.

29/12/18 8:06:21

Some people are desperate to catch the bouquet at weddings.

28/12/18 8:06:10

Sphere anxiety

26/12/18 8:37:43

🎵 God rest ye hairy gentleman 🎵

24/12/18 8:03:15

"Hey, there's a coin in here. I thought money didn't grow on trees?"

23/12/18 20:05:25

Roy Orb and Son

22/12/18 20:01:43

An early photo of Cherie Blair.

15/12/18 14:12:50

"Take the photo quick before she starts blubbering"

15/12/18 12:04:15

"Which clown sold you this?"

12/12/18 14:01:03

I hope I don't get a Peter Parking ticket.

06/12/18 20:05:23

Goodbye Kitty

04/12/18 12:12:42

Reserve your car like the Germans do, and put your towels down first.

02/12/18 20:01:02

Tombs with a view

07/11/18 20:11:03

"You need more ballroom?"

03/11/18 20:42:57

"I should walk really. I need the exorcise."

31/10/18 20:00:58

Gin and Tunic

28/10/18 20:01:39

"If he was facing the other way, I'd have said it was arson."

26/10/18 19:21:19

"I hope her injuries are only super fish oil."

23/10/18 19:08:55

Paddington Bear

22/10/18 7:00:28

Val Kilmer is set to reprise his role.

21/10/18 7:32:23

"Look Ness!"

17/10/18 19:06:31

Filler Queens

15/10/18 20:03:22

"Bra off, slippers on."

12/10/18 7:01:31

Woolly jumper

11/10/18 11:02:06

Sometimes it's hard graft.

02/10/18 19:09:45

Bob would go to any lengths to finish his report.

29/09/18 19:27:34

"Dave said we'd be babe magnets."
"Him a liar."

24/09/18 7:37:24

Don't mention the tutu in case he gets a bit Bolshoi

23/09/18 19:15:46

Share Khan.

18/09/18 19:03:51

These models eight regularly.

14/09/18 7:04:17

Demolition, Derby

09/09/18 11:17:54

Nigel Forage

02/09/18 19:03:03

After several botched needlework sessions, Teddy was now a junkie.

24/08/18 7:21:02

Prism break.

19/08/18 7:03:57

Releashed on bail.

08/08/18 11:01:47

"Oh, was there a barber queue?"

29/07/18 20:02:47

Designed exclusively by Jedward

29/07/18 11:06:04