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	Bill was knackered after spending all day in Dunelm buying cushions and a rather unconvincing reproduction of the Bayeux Tapestry. 20/11/21 20:00:41	2

	Alpaca'd for the honeymoon? 17/11/21 12:00:13	2

	"We're late for the concert and I want to get pasta - can we go by road?" "Sorry, it's canal only" 17/11/21 8:32:49	2

	Toys R Ussr 16/11/21 20:04:23	2

	Donkey brothel 15/11/21 20:00:14	2

	He keeps bigging himself up. Thinks he's Sir Francis Drake. 13/11/21 12:03:58	2

	She'll soon wipe the smile off your face. 12/11/21 8:05:12	2

	That reminds me, I need stuffing. 09/11/21 20:34:24	2

	Survival of the fattest. 09/11/21 8:04:39	2

	"That's it you b@stard, next year it'll be trick not treat" 07/11/21 8:17:59	2

	"Wait till you see our knitted crotchless knickers!" 06/11/21 20:09:56	2 2
Let's not, can't go wrong with a bit of Granny fanny. --Glyn Evans
	A coaching inn. 05/11/21 20:09:11	2

	Sadly for Dave, not even the squirrels were interested in his nuts. 29/10/21 19:44:21	2

	"Shall we pop home for a little afternoon tea light?" 27/10/21 7:01:48	2

	Sects on the beach. 23/10/21 19:17:59	2

	Unfortunately the receivers came in and pulled the plug. 09/10/21 19:21:09	2

	Chancellor of the Eggs Checker 07/10/21 11:28:02	2

	Sister Wendy enjoys her own Renaissance. 03/10/21 11:00:50	2

	PG Tits 02/10/21 19:07:32	2

	I asked my boyfriend to dress smarter. He refused. 28/09/21 11:02:37	2

	clever Fountain of youths 25/09/21 19:06:09	2

	He always lands on his feet. 24/09/21 19:51:53	2

	"Round here you've got to earn your keeper." 23/09/21 19:00:58	2

	"Sorry, I just want a Silent Night." 22/09/21 19:06:46	2

	"I can hear knocking" 22/09/21 11:30:05	2

	Something for the weak end, sir? 22/09/21 7:08:52	2

	"And for dessert I've got you one of those apple pies that get ferociously hot when microwaved.." 19/09/21 19:17:58	2

	Where would football be without supporters? 18/09/21 19:08:45	2

	Canine Hungry Hungry Hippos Champion 13/09/21 19:04:54	2

	"See, they eat mashed potato!" 10/09/21 7:12:59	2

	"Damn! I forgot to buy some Nimble" 08/09/21 11:19:22	2

	"Sorry Sir, but you're a liar and a cheetah.." 07/09/21 19:00:15	1 2
"That's rich coming from you...Firstly, you're employed by a body known for it's Smoke and Mirror tactics which is why you sign a document not reveal the Magician's code and secondly, I was racing against YOU!" --Glyn Evans
	"Anyone fancy a game of bridge?" 31/08/21 20:01:06	1 2
It's like chicken, but they have to stay as long as possible before the jumper hits the water. --Glyn Evans
	Five minutes later they were laughing all the way to the bank. 30/08/21 19:54:15	2

	On Golden Shot Pond 28/08/21 11:01:21	2

	Beko boo! 11/08/21 7:22:31	2

	"Dad, I think I need to lay a brick." 09/08/21 7:46:09	2

	Caught napping. 04/08/21 11:39:05	2

	"Ah, that's where I left my favourite tea towel." 03/08/21 19:02:14	2

	"It's not my fault if you ate all your lunch at breakfast time." 31/07/21 7:32:32	2

	Byker Grover 24/07/21 7:49:49	2

	Some people are just paw losers. 19/07/21 19:07:49	2

	Undercover sniffer puppy meets his first pusher. 16/07/21 19:08:10	2

	Keep the kids amused whilst you pop out for a few pints of your own. 16/07/21 7:06:27	2

	Mission Impossible: Doing housework after you've painted your nails. 15/07/21 19:19:17	2

	And so sadly red squirrels became extinct - just like that. 15/07/21 19:00:35	2

	Meet my inflatable boyfriend. Shame the valve was so small, took me ages to blow him up. 17/06/21 19:20:01	2

	"I need your clothes, your boots and your laptops. I'm a bit of an Excel Bully." Thu 20:17:49	1

	"I do wish you'd stop playing with my novelty draught excluder" complained Gulliver. 03/01/25 8:05:01	1

	"Luckily, I've got no flies in these tights." 02/01/25 20:09:23	1

	"Hello, is that the AA? I think my car's been drinking again." 28/12/24 20:08:13	1

	"Special delivery for 4 Boding Avenue." 27/12/24 8:24:35	1

	The paws that refreshes 20/12/24 8:02:12	1

	Remember to wear a sheaf for protection. 18/12/24 8:03:51	1

	She was accosted by some prick with a fork. 27/11/24 8:02:32	1

	For those special Martial Farts. 24/11/24 20:02:54	1

	I'd like to give the authors the index finger. 23/11/24 8:17:46	1

	The top is Fairy non-bio. 13/11/24 20:04:08	1

	Large mail attachment 06/11/24 8:06:01	1

	Several firms have noticed a big dipper in sales. 05/11/24 20:02:30	1

	They're off to Benidorm for a Hindu. 29/10/24 20:07:31	1

	🎵 Polly Put the Kettle Crisps On 29/10/24 8:07:49	1

	This is probably why Elton John is still standing. 26/10/24 11:27:11	1

	She soon had an ankle biter with her Wimpy boyfriend. 25/10/24 7:09:43	1

	"Picture me like one of your French girls.. or maybe not.." 23/10/24 11:50:30	1

	Celebrating getting your licence back after 2 years Soba. 20/10/24 19:06:58	1

	Driving on the wong side of the road. 20/10/24 19:02:18	1 1

	My wife's either having an affair with Sir Walter Raleigh or a Dalek. 14/10/24 19:13:06	1

	🎵 Away in a Mange 06/10/24 19:12:28	1

	I've knitted some socks for your paw-paws. 05/10/24 19:02:23	1

	Mick has many fond memories of having Susan Stranks over Jenny Hanley. 05/10/24 7:16:30	1

	A wringing endorsement. 04/10/24 19:09:17	1

	In Scotland maternity hospitals for goldfish are well signposted. 01/10/24 7:05:41	1

	Snow Patrol 29/09/24 19:25:29, edited: 29/09/24 19:26:11	1

	Luckily, they were all released by firemen using I Can't Believe It's Not Buddha. 24/09/24 19:22:03	1

	Mobile home 24/09/24 7:02:02	1

	Their strange courtship ended with a little Baby Bio. 21/09/24 19:04:21	1

	🎵 Silly Glove Songs 🎵 08/09/24 19:09:18	1

	She was spotted earlier in the park with her husband Mr Bit and nephew Master Piece. 07/09/24 7:10:10	1

	Also available: pirate copies of Johnny Depp Simulator. 31/08/24 19:07:33	1

	"Mine's a pinto." 30/08/24 7:04:57	1

	The truck was driven by the famous Wong brothers. Two Wongs shouldn't make a right. 28/08/24 7:20:33, edited: 28/08/24 7:21:53	1

	Froome on the Range 24/08/24 7:02:34, edited: 24/08/24 7:03:30	1

	"I had a really deep sleep." 23/08/24 7:12:33	1

	Holidaying Jersey 21/08/24 7:02:23	1

	"Doctor, I've not been feline too well recently." 14/08/24 19:22:39	1

	Too much junk in the trunk. 10/08/24 19:02:25	1

	Old Mother Hubbard's cat was really pissed off. 31/07/24 11:02:30	1

	"I did have an accident that wasn't my fault. The meeting went on too long.." 28/07/24 19:47:01	1

	Jamie Oliver's army 27/07/24 11:03:17	1

	"My suitcase looks damaged!" "Yes, I'm afraid it's terminal." 23/07/24 19:20:10	1

	As Bruce the squirrel said to his wife Anthea, "Give us a Twirl!" Sat 20:19:20	0

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