super vote: ( left this week)
River Banksy strikes again.
27/02/23 20:08:35
Does that mean no access to Uranus?
01/02/23 8:00:11
A stationery car.
17/01/23 20:00:11
No-one told Julia she had lost her yo-yo two miles ago.
07/01/23 20:04:43
However, in the library setting we would prefer you to stick to the silent but deadly type.
16/11/22 8:05:49
I still prefer the 70s favourite, Chicken in a basket.
15/11/22 8:21:10
Every griddle helps.
15/11/22 8:00:48
"Sorry lads, the Andrex puppy nicked all the paper."
11/11/22 8:05:29
Grandma Torino
27/10/22 19:08:46
No doubt made in Chian.
01/09/22 7:00:19
"Waiter, what's this dragon doing in my food?""Not sure sir, is it the salsa?"
05/08/22 11:41:04
It just won't flush down.
28/07/22 11:01:31
Chute to kill
06/07/22 19:00:17
He's having a meltdown.
25/05/22 7:05:27
Who wouldn't be tired after being ridden all night?
24/05/22 19:05:43
A face only a moth could love.
24/05/22 7:03:51
"Wait - I'm not on the pill!""Don't worry - we're both Middle Aged."
14/05/22 11:25:56
For once captioneers are left stumped as to the whereabouts of the pussycat.
11/05/22 19:12:21
When kids need to spend a penny farthing.
08/03/22 12:00:11
Pork shops
26/01/22 8:30:23
This is a picture of a polar bear in a massive bowl of rice pudding snorting cocaine.
25/01/22 12:05:23
They never knew their father. Their mother kept them in the dark.
19/01/22 20:22:13
Uri Geller's hometown.
06/01/22 20:56:19
After Dave ran off with a flamingo, his wife decided toucan play that game.
01/01/22 8:29:43
Life in a goldfish bowl is not so much fun once you've eaten the occupants.
14/12/21 20:39:00
He announced he's biceptual.
10/12/21 20:01:49
More crap jewellery from Ratner's... available for a limited period
07/12/21 20:13:54
"It Handel's quite well"
17/11/21 8:09:09
Diaper Another Day
12/11/21 8:14:23
I think the parents should be charged.
20/10/21 7:09:09
Gulliver prosecuted for careless disposal of paperclips.
27/09/21 19:08:37
"Well I did promise your mum I'd do some vacuuming.."
09/09/21 19:00:40
When you love someone enough to give them your last Strepsil
31/08/21 7:22:41
♪ I heard it through the grapevine
27/08/21 19:05:13
Steiffel Tower
05/08/21 11:10:50
Cateau
03/08/21 7:01:07
Somebody's had too many scraps.
30/07/21 7:02:36
A wireless mouse
19/06/21 12:16:32
By Johnson & Johnson Ltd
16/06/21 19:00:08
People in IT are a strange bunch
21/05/21 11:00:11
Doggy style just wasn't doing it for Tiddles.
07/05/21 7:19:20
Adam Ant's courier service: Stand and Deliver
30/04/21 7:08:44
Who ate JR?
12/04/21 19:18:54
You're welcome. Wham! didn't want mine.
11/04/21 19:05:13
Bill Board
27/02/21 20:02:34
Leave her to stew in her own deuce.
26/02/21 13:01:54
And the winner of "Who has got the fewest teeth?" is...
23/02/21 20:00:48
He thinks he's a superhero with his capon.
08/02/21 12:09:31
"I ordered mewsli."
29/01/21 20:19:24
Somebody's had too many Jar Jars
27/01/21 12:11:34
🎵 You take the high road and I'll take merlot road 🎵
23/01/21 12:14:35
Calvin Declines
19/01/21 9:36:26
Every donkey's favourite TV soap.
16/01/21 20:00:09
For Absolute Beginners.
11/01/21 20:00:08
Bambi's best friend was a bible-thumper.
06/12/20 20:12:20
Childbearing Barbie 20% off plus free delivery
26/11/20 20:01:24
The daily grind.
03/10/20 19:11:31
Anna Bolic and her sister, Sham.
26/09/20 7:03:48
Vroom with a view
08/09/20 19:01:35
"Crikey! It stinks of bush."
07/09/20 19:29:42
A full report can be seen on News at Ten after the bongs.
01/09/20 7:04:18
I always hang round the bouncers when I go clubbing.
30/08/20 19:11:44
"She's a vintage model and still goes.""That's no way to speak about your grandma."
29/08/20 11:12:53
"Careful! Prince Philip's behi-.."
29/08/20 11:01:27
As Simon Cowell would say, you can't carry a tuna.
23/08/20 11:05:39
"I've not practiced for a while but it still gives me a buzz."
07/08/20 7:05:37
"What's your handicap?""My arms are a bit short."
05/08/20 19:21:45
"How many players has he eaten today?""Fore!"
05/08/20 19:14:27
At least up there they don't have to listen to Cliff Richard droning on.
24/07/20 12:15:43
Young Dave's face covering is cutting edge.
21/07/20 7:03:00
"I was rather hoping for a massage in a brothel."
15/07/20 19:02:04
"You're driving me in Seine."
14/07/20 19:00:19
Jeremy Fissure
11/07/20 11:06:01
Prince Philip goes into self-isolation.
20/06/20 7:10:10
"Take me to the seedy part of town."
17/06/20 7:05:36
The perfect disguise for lockdown Cummings and goings.
25/05/20 19:00:13
"How come your dog can read?""It's a mystery."
22/05/20 7:09:58
Oh to be young, free and shingle.
21/05/20 7:26:31
Tom and Jerries.
17/05/20 8:35:30
Trump now offers Family Planning Advice:Keep pricks away from your eggs.
05/05/20 7:01:48
Councils report a sharp increase in fly tipping.
18/04/20 19:00:09
Royal Barks Hospital
04/04/20 11:00:22
Catcher in the Wye
03/04/20 19:19:36
Isaac Newt-on
26/03/20 8:00:17
He got out of his box last night and now bitterly regrets getting the tattoo.
23/02/20 8:32:19
"I love having wine on tap."
17/02/20 20:23:17
Benedictine & Jerry's
15/02/20 21:02:01
Steer clear
10/02/20 8:08:38
Who do I pick? It's like Election Day all over again.
05/02/20 8:02:32
Bill wished it was an open top bus..
01/01/20 20:04:00
🎵 Oh cum, all ye unfaithful 🎵
22/12/19 12:01:00
"Where's this Dove soap?"
08/12/19 12:50:52
Egg foo young
02/12/19 12:00:10
There's growing excitement for the Captioneers Christmas Party.
21/11/19 20:06:00
I'm sure the gap between Madonna's teeth is getting bigger.
21/11/19 12:49:35
Well, it's worth a shot.
14/11/19 20:00:20
"I don't know about you Sister, but I'm having a blast!"
09/11/19 20:03:50
Cell phone
04/10/19 7:00:19
So that's why the Cheshire Cat is always grinning.
02/10/19 11:01:44
People laughed at Adam carrying his old friends around, but ridicule is nothing to be scared of.
22/08/19 11:08:59
576 - 585 566 - 575 556 - 565 546 - 555 536 - 545 526 - 535 516 - 525 506 - 515 496 - 505 486 - 495 476 - 485 466 - 475 456 - 465 446 - 455 436 - 445 426 - 435 416 - 425 406 - 415 396 - 405 386 - 395 376 - 385 366 - 375 356 - 365 346 - 355 336 - 345 326 - 335 316 - 325 306 - 315 296 - 305 286 - 295 276 - 285 266 - 275 256 - 265 246 - 255 236 - 245 226 - 235 216 - 225 206 - 215 196 - 205 186 - 195 176 - 185 166 - 175 156 - 165 146 - 155 136 - 145 126 - 135 116 - 125 106 - 115 96 - 105 86 - 95 76 - 85 66 - 75 56 - 65 46 - 55 36 - 45 26 - 35 16 - 25 6 - 15 1 - 5
Fantastic! May your perforations continue to remain aligned.
comment on caption: "What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Great caption, well done Vanessa!
Congratulations Vanessa. Your caption's a hit!
Thank you all for the votes and lovely comments. I can see you're all DAB hands at these toilet puns. 😀
Vanessa you deserve a big box of Ex Lax chocolates.
Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa!
This was no bog-standard caption, Vanessa! Congratulations.
Well done Vanessa - really good captions again from you last month. And nice one for your donation too
Splendid caption Vanessa! hearing you'd won was like music to my rear.
It's the biggest (asp?) I've ever seen.
comment on caption: "Does my asp look big in this?" [Vanessa the Guesser]
Fantastic! May your perforations continue to remain aligned.
9:11am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Great caption, well done Vanessa!
9:56am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Congratulations Vanessa. Your caption's a hit!
11:00am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Thank you all for the votes and lovely comments. I can see you're all DAB hands at these toilet puns. 😀
11:18am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Vanessa you deserve a big box of Ex Lax chocolates.
11:44am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa!
11:49am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
This was no bog-standard caption, Vanessa! Congratulations.
1:43pm
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Well done Vanessa - really good captions again from you last month. And nice one for your donation too
3:59pm
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
Splendid caption Vanessa! hearing you'd won was like music to my rear.
6:31am
comment on caption:
"What's the frequency?" "Well, at least once a day." [Vanessa the Guesser]
It's the biggest (asp?) I've ever seen.
8:06am
comment on caption:
"Does my asp look big in this?" [Vanessa the Guesser]