best earliest latest latest and best captions

"She asked me how we were going to get into the containers. I told her to use her head."

12/10/22 11:07:02

"Don't wake him, he's in a bad tempur."

26/09/22 7:08:02

"Birds today! What is it with these ridiculous eyebrows and clown cheeks?"

20/09/22 19:35:39

Kermit's nephew never stood a chance

22/08/22 19:29:49

A Space Oddpussy

16/08/22 13:23:33

"So that's what's been causing the blockage. I did wonder where Dave had got to."

29/07/22 19:01:14

"...and now the happy couple would like you to join them for champagne and vole-au-vents"

18/07/22 8:00:20

"How come I just peed on him yet I'm the one who looks yellow?"

14/07/22 19:06:54

The queue involved hundreds and thousands

24/06/22 7:20:37

Percy was eventually knighted for his shear dedication.

19/06/22 11:45:42

"Cluck, cluuck, CLUCKKKK, cluck, cluckety ccccluck?"

Google translation: Does my bum look big in this?

07/06/22 19:32:37

"Too much covfefe, Melania."

08/05/22 19:56:31

Tom fallery

23/04/22 13:10:57

"Excuse me, Waiter, I usually take mine black."
"That's Lucky, he's in the back, I'll fetch him."

13/04/22 19:39:26

"Where have those cracks gone on No 35? She's definitely had a facelift."
"And No 37, she's having another extension. Some just don't know when to stop!"

21/02/22 8:27:33

When you haven't got any parrots but you really want a go at parrot-gliding.

16/02/22 8:18:51

"Dad, can we go to the swings rather than the roundabouts?"

14/02/22 12:14:31

REVIEW: 0/5. The food was cold. When I complained to the waitress she was very inflexible and just fixed me with a glazed stare.

07/02/22 8:38:02

"What if I use a straw?"

02/02/22 20:31:41

Past its optimus prime

21/01/22 8:09:27

Does she have a helmet?

01/11/21 8:19:19

You can often tell you have a type when you gather your old flames together

30/10/21 11:24:55

"Anyone fancy a game of beachbull?"

10/10/21 7:18:15

Air hostesses just aren't what they used to be

16/09/21 7:14:16

"She's doing really well - hitting all her targets"

09/09/21 7:44:47

"I'm the Yorkie Bar Kid and you're too late. THE YORKIE BARS ARE IN ME!"

11/08/21 15:48:06

"Pineapple on yours? You must be mad."

08/08/21 19:42:50

🎵 It's my party and I'll meow if I want to

10/07/21 19:13:14

If swelling occurs, rinse off immediately. Or maybe not.

16/06/21 19:53:52

clever

Inklined

05/06/21 11:05:01

lol

-"You call that a teapot? You look more like a watering can."
-"Well, at least I've got a spout. You look more like a sugar bowl."

15/05/21 8:23:23

"People think I'm fat but I'm just big-boned."

14/05/21 9:30:35

lol

"I'm surprised I didn't win with this but the judge, a Doncaster lass, did commend me for my ripe plums and the girth of my marrow."

16/04/21 13:09:21

"So? I've had a busy one. Woke about 11am, had a stretch, moved to the other armchair...you know, to spread the hairs around. Had another nap, strolled into kitchen, ate that dried muck you left me, washed my privates. Had 40 winks, caught a fly for you. That was exhausting. Had a scratch of the leather, then another nap. Anyway, that's my day. I'll have some salmon when you're ready and none of that tinned muck."

28/03/21 11:21:22

"He's obviously got a small penis, Ethel"

23/03/21 8:24:16

Later on they all got legless

20/03/21 20:00:28

"Can't see why the farmer likes to milk her in his private quarters."

27/02/21 8:24:27

Albert may well look hideous but the positives are never having to wear neckties or worry about embarrassing erections

24/02/21 20:40:43

"CUT!"

21/02/21 12:11:47

Damn, it's ruined! I've forgotten the eye of a newt.

26/01/21 13:26:43

"Watch out, Frosty! He's armed and dangerous."

23/12/20 8:37:28

Tom's Cruises

22/12/20 14:43:58

He was later arrested for drunk diving

06/12/20 15:02:22

Gypsy Ross gazed intently into the crystal ball and as the mists cleared he began to see something... 'Made in China'.

29/11/20 14:30:39

"Barbie, are you toying with me?"

24/11/20 8:33:59

"You've no idea just how much wine I had to drink to create this amazing sculpture. How I suffer for my art."

15/11/20 20:53:00

Dear Queen,
I write to inform you that I am an illegitimate son of one of your corgis. Please remember me in your will, if you ever die.
Your loyal subject,
Bernie

13/11/20 20:41:33

...to have and to hold on

11/11/20 15:40:44

"Let's go the other way, I didn't really want to go up there anyway."

01/11/20 21:08:25

Gourd dogs

25/10/20 8:26:47

Dom Joly finally gets an upgrade

06/10/20 11:04:33

"Hey, mister, I don't s'pose you've got any gluten-free?"

22/08/20 12:55:24

At caption time Dave is always glued to his seat

21/08/20 7:24:20

"How many times...? 'Don't shit in your own garden!' - USE NEXT DOOR'S."

13/08/20 12:05:10

It doesn't say we can't lean against the wall. The Pedantic Society.

16/07/20 12:03:47

lol

"Turn around when possible..."

14/07/20 19:01:55

"Come on in, the water's lovely"

03/07/20 7:11:23

He shouldn't go out on the lash - he simply can't hold his drink

29/06/20 12:17:26

It's always a challenge going on family outings with the pet jellyfish

01/06/20 7:37:40

Back seat driver

23/05/20 7:05:29

"...and they all lived happily ever after. Right, brush your teeth and off to bed, Sharon."

22/05/20 7:13:15

Inspection kit

17/05/20 7:29:22

lol

🎵 Don't stand so close to me

12/05/20 11:21:40

The bridge never was repaired - no-one could find the end of the roll

08/04/20 20:14:39

"Mate, we've bin friends for years, meeting up every Thursday, but I've just gotta ask...why do you wear your bow-tie as a moustache?"

02/04/20 7:45:32

"We shell find them on the beaches," said Winston Churchowl

27/02/20 10:58:16

Significantly entertain your pet for hours with this easy-to-make Cat Bowling Alley

26/02/20 21:34:03

He's having a blast

20/02/20 12:21:43

They were later charged with causing an obstruction

09/02/20 10:17:55

"Dad, you know we're Call of Duty soldiers? Well, I've got a Call of Nature."

17/01/20 21:07:51

He claimed it was due to his beauty regime that he lived to a ripe old age

29/11/19 8:13:21

"Excuse me, pint of lager please...and a couple of rusks for this toothless old git."

17/11/19 20:37:59

"I'm only here for the beer"

28/10/19 21:44:07

Cousin Itt's cousin

16/10/19 9:30:46

"No Dave, I wanted king-size Snickers."

12/10/19 20:31:10

Perfect for back seat drivers

11/10/19 19:13:11

He was crap at hopscotch anyway

28/08/19 20:02:15

Daz army

26/08/19 11:17:19

"I just love hanging out with you - you're dead funny"

06/08/19 7:49:26

"Sorry Mr MacAque but smoking is considered a performance-enhancing drug. You are therefore disqualified from this year's Caber-Tossing Championship"

09/07/19 7:52:24

Bang out of order

28/06/19 7:23:38

"Your call will be answered shortly."

06/06/19 21:28:43

The best thing about Spanish is the siesta

22/05/19 19:32:00

When out and about it's best to be dolled up

18/05/19 19:07:51

Josie and the technicolor dreamboat

10/04/19 7:12:06

I think I'll skip this picture

16/03/19 16:46:28

Chappuccino

26/02/19 8:18:31

Ears looking at yew, kid

18/02/19 12:01:11

Red and Ginger

09/02/19 20:00:38

He asked if he cadaver lift but he never said where to. He's been with us for five years now.

25/01/19 8:13:47

"You've gone too far again, Lucy. I only said you need to lighten up..."

21/01/19 20:27:37

lol

'Hmm, there's Tiddles being photographed, I bet he's next up on Caption.me'

14/01/19 14:40:45

"I've got it, Ginger. Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffanys... My go."

30/12/18 9:34:02

"Good work, son. You've cleared the beach for us."

15/12/18 13:53:19

"So where do YOU think we parked it?"

24/10/18 19:39:21

ThreeLance photographer

12/09/18 19:35:39

"Book 'em, Danno, for non-display of a Blue Badge"

01/09/18 20:36:52

Noo-Noo had a major clean-up job after the apocalypse had struck Teletubbyland

14/07/18 19:05:49

Better call in the reffurry

23/06/18 12:29:21