captions comments received captioned photos

captions


26/07/22 19:06:11, edited: 05/08/22 5:11:38		5

	Not many people know that Jesus had tiny feet. 01/07/22 19:00:16	5


23/06/22 19:06:34		5

	They say the head is the hardest part of the birth but for Dave's mum... 04/06/22 19:04:39, edited: 03/04/23 20:47:55	5

	Holding the lens to the hole, Sir Isaac was disappointed to realise that he had discovered the spectrum of light and not, as he had planned, a way to view the ladies' shower room. 09/04/22 19:00:28	5


23/03/22 20:00:08		5

	"Fire in the hole!" 10/03/22 20:14:05	5


20/02/22 20:00:10		5

	Where the Wild Strings Are 19/11/21 20:00:10	5


04/10/21 19:01:01		5


27/09/21 19:00:11		5

	"I don't know what she sees in him." "Three words: Very. Long. Tongue." 16/09/21 19:16:48	1 5
Good for necking. --Willie Johnson

09/08/21 19:01:34		5


14/06/21 13:52:22		2 5
One is a mongoose. More than one are polygoose. --James Lennox

03/06/21 19:00:25		5


20/05/21 14:01:09		5


06/02/21 20:00:09		5


06/12/20 20:23:51		5


02/12/20 20:00:45		5

	Hell hath no fury like a woman swarmed. 28/11/20 20:01:10	5


25/11/20 20:00:08		5


07/11/20 20:00:25		5


20/10/20 19:00:26		5

	"Turns out, Pooh bears are what Tiggers do best!" 14/10/20 7:00:22	5


25/09/20 19:00:38		5

	"Right. On Saturday we'll have a threesome with my husband and his two penises." "And on Sunday..." 24/09/20 19:00:12	5


clever 24/09/20 14:33:00		1 5
Well played :) --James Lennox

24/08/20 19:00:07		5


18/08/20 19:00:07		5

	'That wanker Tea3man, always travelling the world posting photos with his beautiful girlfriend in her couture zebra coat. Well, I can do that as well, here's a picture of my girl on our holiday in Charlton Kings.' 17/08/20 19:19:04	5


12/08/20 19:06:39		5


06/08/20 19:00:39		5

	Nurses were so funny way back in 2019 before the PPE shortage and, you know, all the death. 05/08/20 14:17:30	5


28/07/20 19:13:39		5


creative 12/07/20 17:27:16		5


clever 09/07/20 19:06:37		1 5
Done and done. --Willie Johnson

04/07/20 19:00:07		5


28/06/20 19:00:15		5

	Cutie and the Beast 31/05/20 7:01:26	5


18/05/20 19:00:56		5


11/05/20 7:00:13		5


28/04/20 19:17:30		5

	"Every time she kisses me I get hard." 12/04/20 19:00:08	5

	"Why did I volunteer to collect Gulliver's sperm sample?" 30/03/20 19:00:29	1 5


29/03/20 6:22:44		5

	Dave could no longer hide his secret life when he was hired as the entertainment at his own surprise stag do. 24/03/20 14:27:56	5


12/03/20 20:15:46		5

	"Do you even know how to play that thing?" "Of course not, and you can't sing for sh*t, but it's the skirts that'll make the act a hit, Jim." "If you say so, Dave." 10/03/20 20:00:17	5

	🎵 The long and winding road, that leads to your back door 🎵 09/03/20 14:53:23	5


21/02/20 20:00:30		5

	"Making milk chocolate without the cows was a real challenge: it takes hours to milk a rabbit." "Especially one named Mikey." 10/02/20 15:10:48	1 5
If you found that challenging you ought to try milking an almond! --Karyn Harrison
	'I'm beginning to regret that reverse mortgage.' 10/02/20 14:55:15	5


05/02/20 20:00:14		5


30/12/19 20:03:26		5

	Dog tags 29/12/19 16:01:46	5

	"Yippie Ki Yew, motherf*cker." 22/12/19 20:18:53	5


24/11/19 16:58:47		1 5


18/11/19 20:00:06		5


31/10/19 20:05:44		5


04/10/19 19:00:11		4 5
My solution is to simply feed the grain to the pig and the pig to the fox. --Michael Winner

02/10/19 19:52:56		5


26/07/19 19:03:18		1 5

	'Oh thank God! I imagined much worse when you said you had sunburned spots under your helmet.' 26/07/19 14:16:59	5

	Winner of the Golden Globes 09/05/19 14:39:49	5


05/05/19 20:06:12		5

	"We've lost too many French horn players this way." 17/04/19 19:00:36, edited: 20/07/23 22:37:53	5


24/03/19 12:57:22		5


09/02/19 8:00:07		5


02/02/19 8:01:34		1 5
...that was when I realised that one Jelly baby had fallen off my shoulder. :-) --Glyn Evans

27/01/19 8:00:08		5

	Even after four pints Charlie knew that this pale, flat-chested bird was the woman of his dreams. 15/01/19 20:03:04, edited: 20/06/23 0:14:41	5


22/12/18 8:31:50		1 5


27/11/18 20:00:33		5


09/11/18 20:00:16		5


27/09/18 19:00:09		5


23/08/18 19:00:14		5


26/05/18 21:25:36		5


clever 09/05/18 19:02:21		2 5


19/12/17 8:09:50		5

	"They've always had a head for numbers." 15/11/17 20:31:02	5


04/05/17 8:00:52		5


04/05/17 7:48:34		5

	Alien vs Editor 16/10/24 19:15:41	4

	"How did you know I was a police informant?" 23/03/24 20:08:41	1 4
It was easy, those sandals you're wearing are stolen. --Glyn Evans
	Still-Fyffe 05/03/24 20:07:53	4

	"Now that I have your attention I'll begin our workplace harassment seminar." 27/02/24 20:16:33, edited: 27/02/24 20:17:06	4

	"Could've been an email." 27/02/24 20:13:38	4

	"Say it with me, Jerry! Show me the money!" 05/10/23 19:10:26	4

	Peter and the Wolf 28/09/23 19:01:01	4


19/07/23 19:00:54		4

	"Dead or alive, you're coming with me to Oz." 02/07/23 19:03:18	4

	Some of my boyfriends have been surprisingly disappointed when I've told them they can't come in my back door. 25/06/23 19:01:21	1 4
Can you really blame them, Dave, since that's how you've always let them in? --Peter Houle
	"Madam, this gentleman claims that you are giving his girlfriend a ride south, but making him fly. So I must inform you that what's good for her is also good for, er, him… sorry, I wish there was a better way for me to explain it." 23/06/23 19:01:32	4

	lol 🎵 "... My fair lady!" 🎵 30/05/23 19:02:09	1 4
LOL. MOVE YOUR BLOOMIN' A... --Vivvy En

11/05/23 19:01:01, edited: 05/06/23 14:54:33		4


11/05/23 19:00:45		1 4
Serves you right for marrying Dave, I dare say. --Peter Houle
	Boulders tea 05/05/23 19:00:09	4

	I saw these on Greggslist. 04/03/23 20:02:23	4

	"I can't open the access panel." . . "There's a trick to it, let me show you-" 10/02/23 20:00:13, edited: 12/06/23 18:39:11	4

	"Soon my kind will be construction workers, then programmers, then overlords, but for now I'll just 'accidentally' knock that ladder off the deck," thought Roomba. 23/01/23 20:00:17	4

more captions

last comments (total: 273)

🎵 Home, home on the range...
Where the deer and the antelope play...🎵

Willie Johnson

01/12/23
9:31am

comment on caption:
Steakhouse [Crunchy Chords]

Encore!!

Julia Kinsey

06/12/23
8:04pm

comment on caption:
🎵 “It's such a wondrous night,
The moon and stars are shining.
I know my voice is shite,
I've paid you, stop your whining.” 🎵 [Crunchy Chords]

Challenge accepted, Julia.

🎵 “It's not entirely my fault
My songs sound like gargled phlegm
I'm trying to sing from music notes
That have a backward stem." 🎵

Anyone else want to have a go?

Crunchy Chords

09/12/23
6:03am

comment on caption:
🎵 “It's such a wondrous night,
The moon and stars are shining.
I know my voice is shite,
I've paid you, stop your whining.” 🎵 [Crunchy Chords]

🎵 Moony moony star star
Starry starry moon
I've laced your drink with roofies
You'll be unconscious soon 🎵

James Lennox

09/12/23
6:26am

comment on caption:
🎵 “It's such a wondrous night,
The moon and stars are shining.
I know my voice is shite,
I've paid you, stop your whining.” 🎵 [Crunchy Chords]

In crooked notes, I serenade the night,
A singer so bad, it's a comical sight.
I pay folks to endure my lunar tunes,
Moon and stars bear witness to my vocal cartoons

[anon]

09/12/23
7:45am

comment on caption:
🎵 “It's such a wondrous night,
The moon and stars are shining.
I know my voice is shite,
I've paid you, stop your whining.” 🎵 [Crunchy Chords]