Sending private messages on this site is currently disabled due to abuse by spammers.

Please use the forum to send private messages instead.

	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	67	21	101	#2	15	51	#8	6401	17453	#16
Photos			7	#6		13	#4	453	1156	#6
Comments	29	3	3	#1	1	4	#4	1232	1867	#3
Forum Posts								53
Suggested Edits	5							39	44	#3
Tips								1	2	#9

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	43	#7	35	#10	10349	#24
Photos	3	#6	7	#6	1000	#20
Comments			3	#5	2026	#5
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					31	#2
Tips					1	#4

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	creative "Hmmn ... I don't know. Maybe we should go with Andy escaping Shawshank through a sewer pipe instead?" 18/05/24 7:05:09	16

	Pork Chopper 18/04/24 11:16:16	16

	"One wonders if she spreads easily." 09/03/24 20:07:56	1 16
No, that's her sister, Flora. --Karyn Harrison
	"So, concluding the council meeting regarding the funding of pothole repairs, we have 164 votes for, and 1 against." 19/02/24 20:15:33	16

	Dave was rubbish at picking up girls. 31/12/23 20:19:41, edited: 01/01/24 8:03:59	16

	lol creative "Yeah, sex with him is dry, boring, and one sided, but for some reason it does keep my thrush away." 12/12/23 8:24:39	16

	lol "Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." 07/12/23 8:13:13, edited: 07/12/23 8:28:15	3 16
Ha, you've got me wondering now whether murder a grandma is funnier. It's nice having the double 'gr' sound though. --Stephen Bean
	"Oh dear, I've just thrown up that meal I had a week ago." "Don't worry, Dave, the captions are all being regurgitated too." 12/10/23 19:17:35	16

	"Ok, so I'll organise the church, the guest list, the reception venue, the menu, the flowers, and the photos. Dave, you can sort the transport." 13/08/23 19:31:47	16

	lol "Any last words, sir?" "Yes. I'd like to thank whomever forgot the rope." 04/06/23 19:52:29, edited: 04/06/23 19:55:29	2 16
The did say his sentence would be suspended. --Tony S
	And in Dublin, the annual 'Swap you Wife for a Keg of Guinness' promotion kicks off. 04/05/23 7:01:19	16

	A minor 22/03/23 12:11:18	16

	"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17	16

	"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23	16

	lol Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34	4 16
Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
	"The pearly gates are open, Your Majesty," said St. Peter. "But you may wish to let go of that leash first." [Happy to delete if anyone thinks this is 'too soon'] 03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07	1 16
That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
	This was the problem with the Mahunti-gathi tribe of deepest Peru. Half of them were hunters. Half of them were gatherers. None of them were mechanics. 08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06	2 16

	"Honey, there's a problem with Rex's new glass eye." "Really? Don't tell me they got the colour wrong..." 08/05/22 12:53:13	16

	lol "On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56	16

	Titanic 2: The Reunion 01/02/22 8:02:45	16

	lol x2 "Ma'am, I'd like to help fix your flat tyre, but I believe travelling alone in a high octane 6.2 litre V8 truck, when you could be driving a small electric vehicle, carpooling, or using public transport, is totally irresponsible and endangers the very planet we live on." "I'll show you my boobs." "Where's your jack?" 18/11/21 13:17:02	2 16
I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
	"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 7:20:26	16

	"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 19:56:53	16

	lol creative Users have been experiencing weird error messages when trying to vote for certain captions. To help identify the problem, please try voting for this test caption. [admin@caption.me.nigeria] 26/08/21 20:20:59	2 16
You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
	"What are you celebrating?" "Breathing!" 12/08/21 7:05:59	1 16
Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
	"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 19:58:08	16

	"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." "Stop it." 06/03/21 20:00:44	1 16
Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
	It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45	16

	lol Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28	1 16

	lol x2 This takes me back to the old days before internet porn, when the centrespread in National Geographic would have to suffice. 17/12/20 20:34:15	16

	lol We've all hugged the toilet once or twice in our lives. Susan, however, took it to a whole new level. 29/03/20 8:17:00	16

	Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20	16

	"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32	16

	And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19	16

	lol x2 "Ok, honey, I take it back. You're NOT just like your psycho mother. Now put the scissors down." 27/11/24 20:15:42	15

	lol creative "'Seeking mature male', yes, 'who enjoys reading', yes, 'is playful', oh yes, 'loves food', yes yes, 'and enjoys cuddling', yes yes yes. 'Must be 6 foot plus' ... Goddammit." 21/11/24 8:43:50	15

	Danny Burrito 12/11/24 12:00:36	1 15

	"Vanilla. Yours?" "WD-40." 12/09/24 19:35:23	15

	clever "Hmmn, sounds like it needs a tune up." 31/05/24 7:01:02, edited: 31/05/24 7:02:00	15

	clever Jim Henson's kids didn't even know he existed till they turned 5. 03/03/24 20:13:46, edited: 03/03/24 20:20:37	2 15
I liked the original caption more! 🙂 --KT A
	lol "Thanks, Dave, I needed that. Now if you could just pass me my robes and scythe we'll get on with things." 26/02/24 12:12:16	15

	🎵 The Leader of the Alpaca 🎵 14/01/24 8:02:13, edited: 14/01/24 8:08:06	15

	"Listen, Harold. I was cleaning the bathroom and I found your nose in the sink again. We've discussed this." 08/01/24 20:31:20	15

	Unfortunately there was an Afro in front of her. 17/12/23 8:09:40, edited: 17/12/23 8:40:32	15

	I don't think it's a real car. It looks phoney. 02/11/23 12:04:02, edited: 02/11/23 12:21:47	15

	"Ah, here's your problem. You have a big red arrow stuck in your knee." 18/09/23 19:14:22	1 15

	That bloody Al Overy and his caption.me prizes. 10/09/23 7:04:13	15

	"SHOAL!!!" 29/08/23 11:11:08	15

	-"Could I please have a large cone with sprinkles?" -"Ah, no, sorry, we're an ambulance, not an ice-cream van." -"Oh, my apologies, I'm a cow, I can't read." 20/08/23 7:32:52	2 15
After that remark, your captioneer friends are going to buy you an ice cream. Erm. --Al Overy
	"And that was Li Hong Ko performing a triple twist double somersault inverted tuck. Next up, we have Tina from Doncaster." 06/03/23 8:13:43	15

	lol "For Crissake, there's no need to call Social Services, the damn baby isn't even mine." 31/01/23 20:08:36	15

	"Nah, that's rubbish," said Walt Disney. "Let's try dogs and spaghetti." 01/11/22 8:00:55, edited: 01/11/22 8:04:08	1 15
Disney are really cutting corners with their live action remakes. --Mark Cowling
	"Sure, it stings now, but you'll thank me when you're grown up and immune to jellyfish." 06/10/22 11:04:54, edited: 06/10/22 11:13:33	15

	When she sobered up, Rose suddenly wished for an iceberg. 10/08/22 13:16:38	15

	Later that evening... 🙁🥴😠🤮 18/05/22 7:27:06	15

	lol clever "Chris Beach certainly has an eclectic record collection." "Yes, but my gut says there's some subtle common theme..." 13/05/22 13:37:30	1 15

	Despite her abnormal childhood, Susan grew up to be a perfectly normal serial killer. 04/11/21 12:07:00	1 15
There's a few serial killers you have to watch, they're a bit strange. Not from around these parts. --Glyn Evans
	lol "Put down the knife, Davy, and let's discuss this silly hat idea." 18/10/21 11:20:10	15

	Mittens was later convicted by concrete evidence. 07/10/21 19:08:30	15

	creative The downside of early photography was the long exposure time. 24/02/21 20:13:42	1 15
Those baby photographers take forever. --Willie Johnson
	Upon returning from a piss, Dave suddenly realised he'd re-entered the auditorium through the wrong door. 21/12/20 8:40:26	15

	Deer Lord... 06/12/20 20:00:51	15

	I wish we could return to the good old days, when women took ironing seriously. 10/09/20 7:21:35	15

	lol It's obviously a Salvador BaalÃ. 07/09/20 7:00:36	15

	lol That awkward first date moment, when she wants you to regurgitate food into her mouth, but you're not sure if you should. 19/07/20 7:14:06	3 15
You'd think that no matter how inebriated someone got, that they wouldn't eat someone else's vomit - however it wouldn't surprise me if someone somewhere had a story like that to tell. --Glyn Evans
	The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs. 29/05/20 19:14:51	15

	Warning, terrible pun ahead, brace yourselves. 24/03/20 20:24:26	1 15
OrthoDON'Tics --Scrijjy Doo
	My wife wanted a baby, I wanted a fridge magnet, we compromised. 26/06/19 7:00:40	15

	lol Scientists at CERN say it's nothing to worry about. 23/03/19 13:42:05	15

	clever He's been driving around in circles for ages. 20/02/19 12:00:19	15

	Piano-farte 18/11/24 20:01:00	2 14
Fine by me either way, caption author. --Karyn Harrison
	"And voila! The bird has vanished! ... burp " 14/11/24 20:01:34	14

	"Congratulations, give her a hand!" 26/09/24 19:01:18	14

	lol "Sorry, Tutankhamun, your mum says we're to move all this lot out and replace it with gold and statues and crap." 14/05/24 19:12:58, edited: 14/05/24 19:16:18	14

	lol It was a hell of a laugh until Boris the bull turned up. 28/03/24 8:02:57	14

	"Any requests? I'm very familiar with Queen." 04/01/24 8:04:51	14

	lol Oh for God's sake, not another photo of an old lady carrying an umbrella while riding a skateboard! 13/10/23 7:01:09	2 14
Yes, make it the norm. It could be the norm. Please...I could advertise for more photos of old ladies carrying umbrellas riding skateboards.However I could be mistaken for a pervert so I'd better put a NOT A PERVERT disclaimer --Glyn Evans
	"Excellent, Mr. Smith, your elbow is healing well. You can pass me my clothes back now." 18/09/23 19:33:44, edited: 18/09/23 19:35:26	14

	"Excuse me, miss, I'm the caption.me photographer. Could you move aside so I can take a picture of that cat?" 02/09/23 7:11:13	14

	lol Not another cat picture. 09/08/23 19:19:52	14

	"Ok, Dave, I'll move them. Just stop peeing on my arm." 04/07/23 19:01:46	2 14

	"Take that off, Dave, you look like a foal." 11/06/23 19:34:40	14

	- 21 - Hung like a horse - Sexual deviant - Behind you 25/02/23 8:00:16	1 14
Nod to my dating profile. --Tony S
	What happens in the barn, stays in the barn. 12/11/22 20:06:08	14

	"Give me your basket, bitch!" demanded Little Red Riding Hoodlum. 26/08/22 7:11:50	14

	"Well, those seats are novel." 16/08/22 7:04:17, edited: 16/08/22 7:08:51	1 14

	lol creative "...and this is a 5 month pregnant woman balancing a Jacobean nursing chair on her chin." Some people take shadow puppetry too seriously. 23/06/22 19:30:52	4 14
Cheers, Al. I reckon this would be a great month for Chris to do something totally spontaneous and pick a winner from the middle of the pack ;) --James Lennox
	"At the time of the explosion the seat was up, so we know the perpetrator was a male. Sticky finger marks suggest he was right handed. And judging by the shoeprints we can tell he wears a size 9 1/2." "Very good, Watson, but you're missing one important fact." "What's that, Holmes?" "This is Caption.me. The perpetrator was obviously Dave." 20/06/22 20:53:21	14

	clever "Dad, I can't breathe!" "Son, shuffle back and give your sister some room." 18/02/22 8:50:49	14

	"Mittens, honey, I've got good news and bad. The good news is I have that pesky mouse cornered..." 01/02/22 20:10:14	14

	"Where on earth is the bow?" "At the front." 17/11/21 9:04:49	14

	The Invisible Man still has nightmares about the time he caught Spiderman masturbating. 30/10/21 9:04:25	2 14
He's no longer the Invisible Man, now he's more like See-man --Glyn Evans
	Good news! The members of caption.me have all chipped in to help solve your problem! Here's 942 cats. 11/10/21 19:06:35	1 14
That's one cat at £1000 each... --Glyn Evans
	"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." 06/08/21 19:00:26	14

	"Those bugs have eluded me so far, but something tells me they're f#cking close." 25/05/21 19:47:45	14

	"We're not wearing anything Dave, but if you're shy come in your shorts." "I have." 09/03/21 12:00:39	14

	Fortunately the North Korean nuclear threat wasn't all it had been cracked up to be. 22/02/21 8:22:01	14

	lol Dave loved riding lightning rods during hurricanes. He did it well. We'll miss you Dave. 14/01/21 8:07:10	2 14
Please change it back. I thought "We'll miss you Dave" was punchier, but you decide. --Glyn Evans
	It's a wonder of nature how sunflowers always turn to face the camera. 08/11/20 20:09:23	14

	"Honey, remember how 9 months ago I told you I was abducted by aliens..." 29/09/20 7:03:18	14

more captions

last comments (total: 1022)

Gotta admit, that's much better. Thanks, Kathleen.

(caption author)

26/11/24
8:55am

comment on caption:
Bitchelor's Degree [James Lennox]

Sorry Glad You Remember. Didn't see your vote while I was tweaking the wording. Have reverted to the original.

(caption author)

30/11/24
12:28pm

comment on caption:
"Okay, nice photo, now go pack your bags Alf. It's not long till Trump is inaugurated." [James Lennox]

Hi Chris. Is there a font available for caption display that discerns between capital I and little l (like the caption creation font does)? Low priority, as I know font changes can cause major issues, but just wondering.

EDIT: I've just noticed the I / l sameness is only on my phone. The PC font does display them differently.

(caption author)

02/12/24
5:42pm

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

Nod 8:14:39. Not there when I started. Maybe mine's different enough? Or maybe I'll edit.

(caption author)

03/12/24
8:19am

comment on caption:
"Yep, sorry, Edward Scissorhands works Thursdays. I'm Emma Shrubhead." [James Lennox]

Hi there - I've just checked on my iPhone and it seems okay. Which phone are you using, please?

Chris Beach

(admin)

03/12/24
11:59am

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

Android, Chris. The font in the creation box displays I and l differently, but when it switches to the published pages I and l are the same. It's no biggie, as the cases it would cause confusion are rare (this caption for example, or Al's name reading as AI).

(caption author)

03/12/24
7:16pm

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

I don't want to edit post votes, but that "thanks" is really bugging me wink