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James Lennox

I'm a Kiwi. To date that's about the most interesting thing about me.

Caption Wins:379

Contributor:

Signed Up:6 years ago

Profile Viewed:67 times this week

Super Votes:Quota: 11

Achievements

achievement

LOL Award

Most 'lol' supervotes of 2024

Quotas and Scores

			This Week				Last Week				All Time
	Quota		Added	Score	Rank		Added	Score	Rank		Added	Score	Rank
Caption	75		21	39	6		29	100	2		6,792	18,647	15
Photo	2213		0	3	6		3	19	4		456	1,384	6
Comment	10		8	15	2		12	4	4		1,303	1,950	3
Suggested Edit	7		0	0			0	0			48	56	3
Forum Post			0	0			3	0			76	0
Tip			0	0			0	0			1	2	9

Voting Record

	This Week			Last Week			All Time
	Voted	Rank		Voted	Rank		Voted	Rank
Caption	17	17		50	4		10,905	25
Photo	0	0		5	9		1,063	20
Comment	9	6		16	1		2,129	5
Suggested Edit	0			0			33	2
Tip	0			0			1	4

Best

Captions

A Brief History of Time

"I'm trying to be sneaky here. Could you stop playing that bloody cello?"

"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence."

"Yes, I agree, Dave did do a pretty good job of renovating the litter box ... Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to have a shit."

‎ "Dave, you say? Carrying a blue pack, you say? Nope, I haven't seen him."

"Luke, I am your farmer."

Wash his hands hopefully.

"I don't like this bit. Skip to the end where I win."

*Ding* "Whiskas!" "No, I'm sorry, Tibbles, the correct answer was Pope Benedict the sixteenth."

"Bloody typical," muttered Dave. "I just paid £25 for mine."

This public gathering is just asking to get Corona.

Looks like the shit's hit the van.

A horse walks into a bra...

"I don't want to alarm anyone, but..." said the captain of the Titan submersible.

Like a deer in the headlines.

"Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas."

"And the winner of the 'Who can get closest to a helicopter without dying' competition is..."

"Come on Darth, you slaughtered the Jedi, blew up a planet, killed your mentor ... I reckon 200 hours of community service is fair."

Dave was horrified to discover the spyhole in his neighbour's fence had been removed, along with the fence.

"What do you think Dave?" "Well Sir, it looks like some sort of large grey box."

The Empire Strokes Cat

*whisper* "Komodo dragons are cunning and efficient hunters. First they bite their victims, injecting them with a highly toxic venom. Then they sit back and wait, maybe watch a bit of telly, have a cup of tea..."

A horse walks into a Spar...

...followed closely by 12 disciples, a horde of Romans, and the Benny Hill theme music.

Marcel Marsupial

"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump."

"Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them."

Javelins should only be thrown outdoors.

Lawn of the Dead

"Ah, here's the problem, son. Some idiot has wrapped half a shirt sleeve round the fan belt."

Ideal for preventing skid marks.

It's awful when you unpack the Christmas tree and suddenly realise why Mr. Tibbles went missing a year earlier.

"Ok, so the sawing in half bit could have gone better, and I'm sorry the rabbit didn't make it, but anyway ... TA DAA!!"

Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky.

I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet.

The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on.

101 Demonstrations

Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children.

"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side."

"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits."

Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse.

If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct.

All Day Breakfast

It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well.

"...and it looks like we have our first gay Pope."

"Yes, I've showered properly. Is this really necessary, mum?"