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	lol creative clever “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are no longer cruising at 30,000 feet … but, on the plus side, the stewardess has opened the buffet.” 24/02/22 20:04:49	20

	I swear five minutes ago there was only one of them 17/06/22 11:25:28	2 19
There were actually four, but Mr McGregor put Flopsy in a pie. --Karyn Harrison
	You can never be sure if he's in 17/02/22 12:02:23	1 19
Try giving him a ring first. --Al Overy
	Ahh look, she’s drifted off 04/04/22 7:00:17	18

	lol x2 That awkward moment when the Wimbledon Men’s Singles trophy gets stuck in your afro. 25/02/22 12:00:50	18

	creative That was the agreement - I act out "I'm a little teapot" and you do "Humpty Dumpty" 24/02/22 12:30:11	16

	Apparently with every drink you get free straw! 30/08/24 7:03:15	15

	lol x2 “Look, I’m sorry! … but you DID ask, and it does look big.” 01/04/22 11:19:59	15

	Gran was having a lovely, quiet afternoon and then little Johnny spotted her hearing aids. 19/12/24 8:09:05	14

	Codzilla 22/07/22 11:08:58	14

	Grandmother, what big beers you have 07/12/23 8:01:32	13

	It did the trick - the next day, William Work was elected to the position of Girlfiend 04/04/22 12:09:14	13

	"Do you recognise this chap Mary? He's on TV" 25/07/23 7:08:29	12

	Those old CRT monitors were really heavy 31/05/22 7:07:42	1 12
''It ain't heavy, it's my Brother'' --Dave Bryan
	There is evidence that the US has penetrated Putin's inner circle. 15/04/22 8:27:14	12

	Silly cone implants 13/04/22 7:10:42	12

	“I find your lack of bins disturbing” 17/03/22 8:00:08	1 12

	Titty Longstocking 16/03/22 20:01:47	12

	Ah, look. They've drifted off. 24/04/23 7:02:53	11

	lol Charley says "Safety first: Always wear your gloves" 28/03/22 12:55:17	11

	lol Don't you hate it when you're having a quiet meal in Frankie and Benny's and someone tells them it's their birthday? 09/02/22 12:27:46	11

	"Ooh! Argh!" - that's the sound of the men working on the chain gang 30/06/23 7:03:03	10

	Sorry but you'll need to lose a stone before you'll fit in the cockpit sir 24/02/23 12:49:11	10

	It was a great performance but his vow of silence marred the acapella section. 30/03/22 11:35:42	10

	"I think we should call it a night Dave. I need to get these two home - they're absolutely legless." 09/03/22 8:23:05	10

	It's no good. The suspension can't take it. You're going to have to get off and walk home son. 18/02/22 8:13:14	10

	Ah, a young Justin Timberlake trying to come up with a band name 25/07/23 12:05:25	4 9
You can't be in sync with every joke, Karen ;) --James Lennox
	areless unts! 21/02/23 8:11:30	9

	Get meowt! 15/02/23 8:15:25	8

	She was told to "seize the day" - Carp eh? Dear Em 10/02/23 8:05:57	8

	"Bernard, do us a favour would you? Next time we pass that bumpy bit over there, could you lean out and pick our teeth up?" 04/03/22 12:49:13	8

	I'm shattered! I've bean on my feet all day! 09/09/24 7:12:31	7

	I'm from Norwich. Does that count? 25/08/23 7:08:40	1 7

	Lumber jack 31/05/23 7:02:19	7

	Ugh! Waiter! How old is this milk? 21/06/22 7:13:30	7

	Definitely not a great catch 02/04/22 19:35:26	7

	It’s the same every bloody year! I put them away neatly in January but it still takes me until Boxing Day to untangle them! 01/04/22 7:02:28	7

	There’s no need to panic, miss. To disarm it, you just need to snip the grey wire. 01/04/22 7:00:21	7

	"Wait! Something's happening. It's an 'M' then 'E', an 'O' and a 'W' - does that mean anything to anyone here?" 31/03/22 11:08:01	7

	The first ever Grand National Sweep confused Aintree residents 30/03/22 7:07:01	7

	Looks like the Pendle witch trials are about to get under way 30/03/22 7:06:32	7

	creative What a shame he broke up with Mrs Ramsbottom. They were made for each other! 10/03/22 8:19:54	7

	Pinch Punch, first of the month 01/03/22 20:06:41	1 7
Looks as if that lady is about to recieve the fisting of the month. --Barrie Bullock
	I'm starting to think this isn't our cat-carrier 27/02/20 19:38:56	7

	Headstand 25/01/20 12:30:19	7

	clever Surely there must be a hat that fits me somewhere here 30/08/24 6:47:42	6

	Dear Mr. Ferrari, I am writing to complain about the positioning of my sunroof... 06/11/23 8:19:15	6

	clever "Don't panic Theseus, he said 'Mind the doors'." 10/08/23 9:06:30	2 6
I had to think a while before getting that! --Molly R
	"Be quick Beryl! I've only highered the truck until noon" 08/02/23 8:07:50	6

	That will be the last time he tells his wife she's using the colander wrongly 30/09/22 7:20:54, edited: 30/09/22 7:22:03	6

	"I need some fags! One of you must have some loose change!" 16/09/22 12:33:28	6

	He isn't the first and he won't be the last to fail at the Holiday Inn toast machine. 24/05/22 6:33:21	6

	"Don't lean back on that fence Dave, some idiot's removed one of the stanchions" 06/05/22 9:52:03	6

	"Ladies and gentlemen, the cabin crew will now give a pre-flight safety demonstration. Please pay attention to the location of the emergency exits .. unlike that idiot on the last flight." 22/03/22 12:48:51	6

	I hate when he makes rude shadow puppets on mum's arm 27/02/22 20:47:58	6

	Quick! I'm meant to be at The Castle 03/10/24 7:04:02	5

	Wherefore art thou Roomeo? 18/09/23 7:04:46	5

	"Kicked my door in, you did. Have knocked, you should." 03/07/23 7:14:36	5

	Bready for action 16/03/23 12:02:37	5

	Training gets underway for the Glastonbury toilet attendants 22/07/22 13:34:34	5

	“Don’t walk on the polished floor in that skirt, sir! You might expose your inner circle.” 14/04/22 11:11:25	5

	"Well it's not bad professor but why have you made it look like a cowardly, rat-faced psychopath?" 12/04/22 21:15:07	5

	“Come on Karen, we’ll never hitch a lift like that. Flash a bit of root or something!” Nod to 12:00:06 07/04/22 11:07:58	5

	"Thank you for applying to McDonald's. Firstly, can you tell us what recent experience you have of stealing fries and crapping on people?" 03/04/22 11:39:07	5

	I guess his dad is sleeping with the fishes 02/04/22 19:37:38	5

	I’m beginning to wish I’d never bought an Australian cat 17/03/22 12:04:02	5

	"Hello, is that 777-777? Could you call an ambulance please? My finger is stuck in the telephone dial" 15/03/22 8:52:57	5

	"I knew that didn't sound right! Who's drawn a cock and balls on my music?" 14/03/22 12:18:53	5

	"So, what kind of fish are you?" "Don't tell him pike!" 08/03/22 8:10:25	5

	"It looks like you've missed a bit Laura" "Yeah, I'm waiting to see if he gets that foot pump working" 07/03/22 15:08:15	5

	Cor Blimey! Would you Adam’n’Eve it? I can’t believe my mince pies. I can see her raspberry ripple! 25/02/22 12:01:20	5

	Excuse me ladies, would you happen to know anything about the pier falling down? 23/05/20 16:30:46	5

	Be grateful you've got a root over your head! 13/12/19 13:56:49	5

	It was when he imitated the "Hump Bridge" sign that the trouble started. 04/09/24 7:23:32	4

	"Hello. Can I return these please? They don't work" 02/09/24 7:27:44	4

	Got one! Now I can make myself a proper coat 15/12/23 8:07:57	4

	Ethel and Mabel finally complete their bucket list:- 1. A white one 2. A yellow one 06/09/23 7:40:22	4

	The Red Arrows Display Team lost some of their appeal when they went eco-friendly 10/08/23 13:45:46	4

	"Southern Rail regrets the cancellation of the replacement bus service but, if passengers could make their way to platform 1..." 24/07/23 7:24:02	4

	creative "Look what I've managed to swap for my scuba diver." 24/04/23 15:57:52	1 4

	"PRESENT BARMS!" 16/03/23 12:00:46	4

	"Of course it's an emergency - I've spilled my Rice Krispies all down my front" 20/02/23 21:02:51	4

	Grandmananarama 14/12/22 19:44:03	4

	It'll drive you round the bend 12/12/22 8:04:13	4

	It's great but haven't you just re-invented the wheel? 15/08/22 7:58:06	4

	Be quick! It's going to start running 25/07/22 7:51:28	4

	"Damn this modern technology! My Apple's frozen again." 12/04/22 11:22:23	4

	Hey, that's the Nigerian bloke who promised me $30,000,000 for £250 postage and packing! 06/04/22 19:21:32	4

	"What do you mean 'well hung'? I haven't even started painting it yet!" 06/04/22 11:49:28	4

	At least one of them is about to go apeshit 04/04/22 19:01:48	4

	Argh! Bloody Autocorrect! 04/04/22 11:58:42	4

	"Pass me a handful of cat litter would you He-Man, this cubicle is completely out" 23/03/22 8:07:25	4

	If I had a pound for every dog I've caught... 23/03/22 6:59:20	4

	I enjoy using the sinks but I refuse to pull the knob on the soap dispenser 18/03/22 8:07:41	3 4
If you want to use it please feel free to, I won't get territorial over the soap dispenser especially when people are rubbing their hands together to get up a lather.Imagine having that as a hand sanitiser dispenser during COVID? Then... --Glyn Evans
	Inside each wrapper it says "sorry, you're a loser" ...and there isn't even a competition on. 23/02/22 12:21:02	4

	It won't balance like that. It's Boun-ty fall over. 23/02/22 12:10:03	4

	Sleeping on the jobbie 23/02/22 8:33:38	4

	Who's busted the ceiling? 22/02/22 12:43:03	4

	Emma's Do-It-Yourself Helicopter idea never really took off. 16/02/22 8:24:01	4

	Cat on a hot Chin Wu 03/06/20 19:17:58	4

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