Derek The Chicken's Used Car Emporium...9.45am "Look, sweetheart, it's like this...You've got filler paradise in yer back arches, yer left headlight blinks like a one-eyed Camel in a sandstorm, yer paintwork would have Michelangelo shitting himself with laughter and yer two nearside rubbers are on the slippery side of legal. Then to top it all off, yer got 78'000 long ones on the clock and yer ashtray's need emptying. Mmmm..tell you what, luv? the very best I can do (an I'm probably cuttin' me own throat eer) is offer yer a quick handshake and a dozen eggs...what do yer say?"