super vote: ( left this week)
Lost Puppy... and I haven't seen my pussy for a while either.
05/01/13 10:58:11
India nappyless 500
06/03/13 9:52:58
It was too late to throw in the towel
06/10/12 7:22:42
The view from the park was the dogs bollocks.
24/09/12 7:11:10
And here's our Graham with a quick reminder...
13/08/12 10:13:20
Police believe they have discovered the body of Shoregar
18/03/13 8:11:45
Best Before : 16-AUG-77
27/11/12 16:19:37
Not everyone is cut out for life in the Royal family.
08/11/12 20:00:59
One man and his bog.
05/02/13 12:26:01
As she held Mike's lips tight against hers, Mike drowned.
01/11/12 9:17:26
Pete & Dave were perfectly cut out for this job.
10/09/12 7:15:44
Your swimming pool filter is clear now, Mr Barrymore.
21/08/12 19:01:06
This is one of the hardest competitions on SpotTheMonkey.Me so far.
05/03/13 12:42:37
Only marginally better than his usual trick of talking through his arse.
19/11/12 12:11:05
Hamish proudly pipes in the opening of Glasgow's 1000th methadone clinic.
12/09/12 11:02:09
Mickey, your horoscope says 'Pluto will be in conjunction with Uranus tonight'
20/03/13 12:12:58
Must ... maintain ... eye ... contact
06/02/13 8:06:16
Three years, two months and twenty-one days after his gastric band was fitted, Dave caught a glimpse of his penis.
14/12/12 12:03:13
I told you to wank more often; don't wait ten years for the next one.
12/11/12 13:13:19
Glasgow's primary schools are to be fitted with larger bins.
05/11/12 12:24:21
Oh no, not another dog.
01/09/12 7:58:53
Because someone already had 'W4NK3R'.
25/03/13 12:59:17
When touring Korea a packed lunch is essential.
18/03/13 20:00:17
Honestly officer, almost everyone behind me demanded that I remove the mirrors from my bike but I don't know why.
22/01/13 9:14:34
Michael Jackson's unopened 51st birthday presents go on sale at Sotheby's.
13/12/12 5:35:51
🎵 Smack my witch up 🎵
09/12/12 5:00:59
Here come the Belgians and they're playing their joker.
08/11/12 14:20:46
When I asked for a hand with the coffee I didn't mean ....
21/10/12 7:44:49
Stalag Mite
02/10/12 7:11:40
Nine out of ten people enjoy a good shag.
15/09/12 19:38:49
A severe winter meant many Welsh people had to improvise.
23/08/12 19:01:22
This week I'll be showing you how to smuggle up to two kilos of cocaine, without anyone suspecting a thing.
15/08/12 11:16:30
Free willy, but ribs are three quid a pound.
28/02/13 9:10:02
🎵 I'm forever blowing Bubbles 🎵
27/02/13 18:34:03
And I'll just post that snap to my FaecesBook page.
30/12/12 12:17:41
☎ "Hello, Mr Savile? It's the laundrette here. It's about your dirty laundry... are you sure you want us to air it in public?" ☎
22/12/12 7:03:02
No matter how well disguised Dave's wife was, she couldn't hide her haemorrhoids, but he loved her anyway.
21/12/12 12:51:28
The last thing I got out of this old thing was 'chopsticks'.
18/12/12 12:16:44
This house has everything but the kitchen stinks.
25/10/12 7:07:41
"I'll have the foie gras to start... then roast guinea fowl with Dauphinoise potatoes... and a Double Decker."
13/09/12 7:13:00
Only John knew why he always referred to his guns as 'pee shooters'
20/08/12 7:28:12
It was sheer good fortune that on that fateful day I had worn a necktie.
24/06/13 7:10:09
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
11/05/13 7:21:16
Confucius say 'Never follow rice flour truck too closely'
28/02/13 12:22:40
Paunch and Judy
11/01/13 8:07:40
Yeah, we had sprouts at Christmas too, how did you guess?
03/01/13 10:42:25
Hai Wei Robbery
29/11/12 8:39:21
Bird shit cleaner to aisle four please.
22/11/12 8:13:34
Drunk and quite orderly
05/11/12 14:27:48
You know dear, when the instructor said you'd need to strap the snorkel on, I think he meant strap it to your face mask, but carry on doing it your way.
02/04/13 8:06:29
Fortunately Dave was so hideously ugly that he'd never need to know the correct way to put a condom on.
08/03/13 13:06:36
Water shortages hit Tom Daley's training schedule.
08/02/13 8:13:36
Oh Vay! He's already circusized.
06/02/13 20:15:42
🎵 Stools out for summer 🎵
05/02/13 13:03:52
After completing the works of Shakespeare, Bobo moved on to helicopters.
30/01/13 8:14:52
Oooh, Oooh, Aghh, Aghh, Aghh, no really, those exhaust pipes are bloody hot.
28/01/13 12:12:33
It would be the last time Bob asked Dave to 'push his stool in a little bit'.
01/01/13 11:10:41
Completely out of the blue.
26/11/12 8:16:38
Justin Timberlake was 'N Sync.
28/09/12 7:18:20
B&Q launch Britains first assisted suicide plus burial service.
19/09/12 7:02:53
"What I love most about being a Ryanair pilot is that they pay us peanuts"
01/09/12 11:07:51
I doubt anything has been nailed in that bed.
21/05/13 11:55:25
Carlsberg don't make women easier to shag but if they... Oh wait, no that's wrong, Carlsberg do make women easier to shag.
10/03/13 15:29:41
Romanian gang arrested for fencing stolen horse meat.
22/02/13 9:14:26
Why are there so many captions about guns?Ah ... I see it now !
16/01/13 12:49:53
The combat ration chicken vindaloo was officially classified as a weapon of ass destruction.
15/12/12 10:00:25
I warned you about the sprouts.
11/12/12 9:44:11
Only one of them was a smart dresser.
06/12/12 8:18:18
Get that flea ridden, crapping everywhere, bird brained monstrosity out of here, and make sure the parrot goes with her.
22/11/12 8:21:41
Get off the road, you stupid Fokker.
01/11/12 17:57:20
God admitted that He'd made a very small cock up.
23/09/12 7:26:27
Jackanory with Victoria Beckham
22/09/12 19:24:08
Jim was looking for somewhere to crash near the airport, as was the pilot.
25/08/12 9:27:45
The lads had hoped to get laid, pissed and stoned on holiday. In Saudi, two out of three ain't all that bad.
16/08/12 11:06:14
Hoping for a turd term in office
17/05/13 11:16:40
Do you want me to slip six inches between your buns?
29/03/13 8:02:31
I shit on your grave.
15/02/13 12:03:27
This week I'll be showing you how to get perfect floury baps every time.
13/02/13 8:50:22
🎵 I got the brains, you got the looks, lets make lots of ...🎵 aah, no waitRight, I've got the brains, you got the ... the errr ... you got the... err, hat? No, you got the sandals? No, you got the ... Ah fuck it... 🎵 West End Girls 🎵
07/02/13 8:23:44
Jim was happy to leave his Cox on the table for all to see.
06/02/13 8:08:57
"If you're mocking me, I'll have to kill you" thought Gregory.
05/02/13 9:04:08
"Fancy a chinese?""No thanks, I'm having trouble keeping my kebab in."
02/02/13 8:28:28
Not as cute as Aleksandr and not as old as Sergei.You did want me to compare the meerkats, right?
28/01/13 8:37:51
Paul? Paul Parker? Can you autograph this for me?
25/01/13 12:26:44
The boss had an inkling that the new guy was a plant from one of their competitors.
06/01/13 12:09:35
Noah was driving around looking for the carp ark.
17/12/12 8:45:37
This is the worst phishing scam you've thought of so far.
11/10/12 12:23:38
When she said she had a ginger pussy I didn't believe her.
05/10/12 19:40:04
And God thought "Wait a minute, I could hide that with some curly hair"
23/09/12 8:18:19
Big Ron always fell asleep after having a Chinese.
12/09/12 7:08:11
Raj shows how he survived the Mumbai Airport toilet flood of 2011. "I just kept one foot on a stool" he told reporters.
08/09/12 10:26:23
The three bears hadn't quite mastered the new facilities.
02/09/12 7:15:56
"She canny take it any more Captain"
31/08/12 7:40:30
This time Greta, don't let the kids out until we're in the hotel room.
22/08/12 19:03:06
Here come the Belgians, and I'm playing with their joker.
23/06/13 9:28:18
Bugger. What's the chances that I get the ginger one?
04/06/13 5:44:27
They were both giants of their sport.
03/04/13 7:08:47
But I don't have Down's Syndrome !
11/02/13 8:08:42
Admin Announcement :Caption.Me has implemented the new 'auto-captioning' software to save us all a lot of time in front of the computer.
31/01/13 8:04:05
Admin Announcement :With so many cow pictures recently this site will now be known as "caption.meat"
23/01/13 14:36:52
39 - 48 29 - 38 19 - 28 9 - 18 1 - 8
Fetched tears to my eyes, I thought I was going to die laughing.
comment on caption: I told you to wank more often; don't wait ten years for the next one. [Spud Gunn]
Love it... Gnocchin one out perhaps
Eew ... such school boy humour - but clever
Just brilliant...
comment on caption: Best Before : 16-AUG-77 [Spud Gunn]
Thank you very mush
...and the winner of this weeks 'Cruel-but-hilarious caption' goes to...
comment on caption: Michael Jackson's unopened 51st birthday presents go on sale at Sotheby's. [Spud Gunn]
Points for randomness
comment on caption: No matter how well disguised Dave's wife was, she couldn't hide her haemorrhoids, but he loved her anyway. [Spud Gunn]
genius
nice phone icon
comment on caption: ☎ "Hello, Mr Savile? It's the laundrette here. It's about your dirty laundry... are you sure you want us to air it in public?" ☎ [Spud Gunn]
Thanks - I've been looking for a way to denote a phone call type voice for a while but now I know the secret it'll be icons galore from here on in.
Fetched tears to my eyes, I thought I was going to die laughing.
9:21am
comment on caption:
I told you to wank more often; don't wait ten years for the next one. [Spud Gunn]
Love it... Gnocchin one out perhaps
8:21pm
comment on caption:
I told you to wank more often; don't wait ten years for the next one. [Spud Gunn]
Eew ... such school boy humour - but clever
9:17pm
comment on caption:
I told you to wank more often; don't wait ten years for the next one. [Spud Gunn]
Just brilliant...
8:43pm
comment on caption:
Best Before : 16-AUG-77 [Spud Gunn]
Thank you very mush
1:15am
comment on caption:
Best Before : 16-AUG-77 [Spud Gunn]
...and the winner of this weeks 'Cruel-but-hilarious caption' goes to...
7:59pm
comment on caption:
Michael Jackson's unopened 51st birthday presents go on sale at Sotheby's. [Spud Gunn]
Points for randomness
1:20pm
comment on caption:
No matter how well disguised Dave's wife was, she couldn't hide her haemorrhoids, but he loved her anyway. [Spud Gunn]
genius
2:08pm
comment on caption:
No matter how well disguised Dave's wife was, she couldn't hide her haemorrhoids, but he loved her anyway. [Spud Gunn]
nice phone icon
8:46am
comment on caption:
☎ "Hello, Mr Savile? It's the laundrette here. It's about your dirty laundry... are you sure you want us to air it in public?" ☎ [Spud Gunn]
Thanks - I've been looking for a way to denote a phone call type voice for a while but now I know the secret it'll be icons galore from here on in.
9:06am
comment on caption:
☎ "Hello, Mr Savile? It's the laundrette here. It's about your dirty laundry... are you sure you want us to air it in public?" ☎ [Spud Gunn]