"Pass the hoofah please."

07/07/24 19:04:22

"She gave me a great jobblow once."

07/07/24 11:03:57

Chloro Phil

07/07/24 7:05:07

When you spend £50 on a personal trainer only to discover too much captioning has made your arms go weak.

01/07/24 11:24:54

Ruff justice

27/06/24 7:20:25

All of a sudden AI photos don't seem so bad.

25/06/24 19:02:36

"Cracking hat Dave!"

25/06/24 7:26:43

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To look for a man who put her children in his hat.

25/06/24 7:20:05

Father of the Ride

24/06/24 8:31:01

The Adams Family

23/06/24 19:00:41

Piggy Sue

23/06/24 11:31:13

Sometimes it can be hard to trust your felines.

22/06/24 12:36:06

It was obvious they all had paw hands.

22/06/24 12:27:06

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get a move on
Before I eat you.

20/06/24 19:12:33

If Donald Trump made suits.

20/06/24 11:13:13

Dave soon found out it wasn't a wormhole as he slid down the builders garbage chute into a skip 12 stories below.

20/06/24 7:14:36

I'll bat Einstein

19/06/24 19:11:33, edited: 19/06/24 19:18:09

Close Encounters of the Herd Kind

19/06/24 8:38:25

"Warms me up right down tomatoes."

18/06/24 14:56:17

"I feel like whatever we do with her, we're dammed if we do and dammed if we don't."

09/06/24 7:10:38

Lady Gourdiva

08/06/24 7:13:13

"Careful Dave, they look rave-nous."

05/06/24 11:07:07, edited: 05/06/24 11:08:03

Scooby-Dough

05/06/24 7:00:36

Scooby-Choo

04/06/24 7:14:01

Zebrandt

02/06/24 7:16:50

Paint striper

02/06/24 7:11:48

"I warned you not to shit on Dolores Umbridge's lawn."

01/06/24 19:18:32, edited: 01/06/24 19:35:24, suggested edits

creative

Toy dog

01/06/24 7:00:27

Croquefort

31/05/24 11:01:49

Made with cornea flour.

27/05/24 7:46:52

"I see bread, people."

27/05/24 7:23:25

Romancing the Stone

24/05/24 19:01:32

Baby Fischer

23/05/24 19:26:54

The Hound of the Basskervilles

19/05/24 19:01:14

"Well done guys. Take a bough."

19/05/24 7:10:06

Cool girl

18/05/24 19:08:11

Loss of face

16/05/24 19:17:41

Looking cagey

16/05/24 7:03:51

"The crowd are going wild."

14/05/24 11:43:36, edited: 14/05/24 11:47:40

Face plant

12/05/24 8:12:52

The Great Train Ribbery

10/05/24 11:22:02

"Why are animals doing all your chores Dave?"

"I like to Dolittle."

07/05/24 11:36:52

Toed in the holes

07/05/24 8:22:20

Sandallotment

07/05/24 7:55:37

Scopey-Doo

06/05/24 19:01:37

Kickbooksir

06/05/24 7:11:04, edited: 06/05/24 8:21:49, suggested edits

Scooby-Duplo

05/05/24 11:44:43

Plop and smell the roses

04/05/24 7:16:28

Flushing Meadows

04/05/24 7:13:01

"Are you doing this so Catwoman will fancy you more?"

"No, so I can try wearing her costume."

03/05/24 11:21:24, edited: 03/05/24 11:26:20

"Remind me what my reward is if I manage 10 miles."

"A Penguin."

03/05/24 11:06:40

Doeliath

26/04/24 19:03:08

There must be mortar life than this?

26/04/24 7:01:10

Ideal for brickfast.

25/04/24 11:05:35

It takes balls to dress like that.

25/04/24 7:13:02

"It's time you were torte a lesson!"

23/04/24 19:26:06, edited: 23/04/24 19:28:18

"We're ready to hear your confection."

23/04/24 19:24:04

Cabbatoir

20/04/24 19:00:44

Teacher's pet

18/04/24 19:02:12

Sand June

17/04/24 19:09:07

Fruit & Gut

13/04/24 7:29:10

Paunch and Judy show

13/04/24 7:10:12

"Hey, this isn't a real cake. I've been bamboozled."

12/04/24 11:04:31, edited: 12/04/24 11:20:45

Enough to fill two birds with one cone.

12/04/24 7:24:37

"When you said you wanted to do something kinky in the car..."

10/04/24 11:05:30

God moves in mysterious waves.

08/04/24 19:41:55

"I'd make my own but don't have enough doe."

07/04/24 11:11:36

Snap, cackle and pop

07/04/24 7:01:37

Axe-grated movie

04/04/24 11:22:46

Dave was ready for his attempt to build the world's largest ever snowman. Now all he needed was for it to snow.

04/04/24 11:11:50

"What kind of fertiliser did you use Dave?"

"Organ-ic."

03/04/24 11:41:17

Guns 'N Roaches

02/04/24 7:10:52

The King and Dye

29/03/24 8:12:51

"Tina, I don't think that's how barrier contraception works."

26/03/24 8:36:00

Trainsylvania

21/03/24 20:21:24

Subway to Heaven

21/03/24 20:01:29

Plot wellied pig

21/03/24 8:52:05, edited: 21/03/24 9:04:45

At least they're in good spirits.

20/03/24 20:03:44

Unhappy hour

20/03/24 20:01:19

"They've managed to crater really nice atmosphere."

20/03/24 12:11:54

"I can see the head Mrs Gulliver."

18/03/24 12:01:12

"No Dave, that's not how you go dogging."

17/03/24 12:13:32

Sprite as rain

15/03/24 20:02:20

Fifty Shades of Gandalf the Grey

14/03/24 12:01:53

"It's amazing you managed to film it all Dave. How come you were there in the first place?"

"Someone left a load of yellow cones in the road, so I stopped to move them out of the way."

13/03/24 21:02:07, edited: 13/03/24 21:24:27

"Does my arse look small in these?"

11/03/24 20:08:52

After a tough day being a soldier...

11/03/24 12:31:52

The Melman high club

10/03/24 12:04:49

It was this big

09/03/24 12:35:11

"How did your pitch at the Dragons' Den go Dave?"

"Let's just say I know what we're having for breakfast for quite some time."

07/03/24 12:27:03

Somewhere in Doncaster... "Tina, what's this doing in your bedroom?"

05/03/24 20:07:34

"Let's take the long way home. Mum's band might not have finished yet."

05/03/24 12:22:35

Chop Gear

03/03/24 8:06:54

"Schrödinger's cat is better at bowling than you are Albert."

02/03/24 12:03:20

Piddly squat

01/03/24 20:05:05

"Dave, why are you standing next to that beautiful lady with the long dress?"

29/02/24 8:22:00

"Does anyone have a sofa we can hide behind?"

28/02/24 20:30:25

David Barkham

28/02/24 8:09:49

Sidecar

26/02/24 8:00:44

Eggcephalitis

23/02/24 20:24:06