Evel Knievel's attempt to jump the entire London Philharmonic Orchestra came up a little short.

20/02/20 12:52:51

As dodo numbers dwindled dramatically, the sailors on Mauritius knew they couldn't just watch an entire species disappear without doing something. They decided to make an omelette.

08/02/20 12:29:42

Old girls at Mardi Gras will do anything to hear "Get your top off!"

06/02/20 13:01:57

By the look on her face you just know she's squatting on a clown.

03/02/20 12:07:29

In Scotland and Ireland burning Pete is a traditional method of heating.

02/02/20 8:33:37

"Hi Elvis, I'm Susan, my card. I help zombies coexist with the living. First tip. You know how you died on the toilet? Well, people are staring. You might want to find some pants."

27/01/20 9:21:16

Can't caption this photo as I don't speak German. Think I'll have a cigarette instead. Anybody got a light?

14/01/20 8:00:52

Edward Chrysanthemumhands was rubbish.

13/01/20 20:44:00

"Yeah, it looks good, but pushing the pins in hurts like a bitch."

20/12/19 20:36:40

"F*ck off kid, the role's taken." Kenny Baker always had a special way with children.

19/12/19 8:01:22

"Go meat! I mean team, go team."

18/12/19 20:29:47

"Sorry Mam, it's gone off again. Do you have any coins in your pockets, or maybe a metal belt buckle?"

18/12/19 9:05:17

I don't know about her, but the guy spying from behind the motorbike is a member of Weightwatchers.

16/12/19 20:00:48

Cornflakes ... cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes ... cornflakes.

15/12/19 8:52:41

With the shagpile carpet, the exotic meal, and the provocative pose, I'm sure he's on the pull. Makes you wonder how hedgehogs have sex. My guess is very carefully.

11/12/19 12:44:08

Elon Musk outlines his plan to build a ladder to the sun, while an extra from the Thriller set wanders by ... Coincidences like this happen all the time, but are rarely caught on camera.

27/11/19 20:21:34

Controversial new initiative employs jobless youths as fertiliser.

25/11/19 20:23:55

I want to say "Basil the Rat" but only 1% of the general population would understand. Then again, maybe 50% of Captioneers will.

24/11/19 8:46:33

Ooo, I've got it - it's a Mexican riding a waitress.

23/11/19 8:40:01

They've spelt "Dickhead" wrong.

19/11/19 13:12:51

"We're not leaving until whoever mugged the leprechaun owns up."

17/11/19 12:04:40

Musical Chairs for the deaf never took off.

13/11/19 21:57:44

"The Master is nothing. I could hide from him any day of the week. I just dare him to try and find me."

"Easy son. God doesn't like it when you Master bait."

07/11/19 20:08:45

What's truly horrifying is that this image hasn't been photoshopped.

30/10/19 13:33:54

The Not So Little Mermaid

28/10/19 20:00:20

"You wouldn't believe my luck. I was driving, and I only got a scratch. My wife was in the passenger seat. You wouldn't believe my luck."

28/10/19 8:03:06

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get the hell away from a crazy gnome in a VW.

24/10/19 19:01:52

Tread softly ... and carry a big stick.

17/10/19 19:00:07

Dr. Doolittle's van does little.

11/10/19 19:00:22

Ideal for the shoe fetishist who likes to smoke after sex.

10/10/19 19:19:42

"Hello Mr Smith," said Dr Jones. "What seems to be the problem?"

08/10/19 11:33:02

I'm pretty sure it's an artsy angle shot of two giant mechanical spiders shagging.

01/10/19 7:58:26

Snapping a nude pic of his friend seemed like a laugh, but before the shutter blinked Superman was out of the bath, dried off, dressed, and punching the Invisible Man in the face.

30/09/19 7:24:37

"I AM NOT A GINGER!"

27/09/19 7:00:39

In my defence, the "Beware of Elephants" sign was crap.

26/09/19 19:11:29

I can't help thinking this photo is metaphorical - We Captioneers are the chickens who have flown to the top of the tree, and think we're doing quite well ... meanwhile, the Wolf has spent this week building ladders.

25/09/19 19:15:27

Jugs ... Just jugs ... There's no need for anything else. Not milk jugs, or nice jugs, or anything additional. Just jugs. It would ruin the purity of the pun to say anything more than jugs. I've even pre-prepared my caption so that it is simply, and purely, jugs. There's no need for anything else ... Just jugs ... Jugs.

20/09/19 7:00:09

Finally the council bows to political correctness and creates a wheelchair ramp to the beach.

08/09/19 23:24:38

"Ribbit."
"RIBBIT!"

05/09/19 19:00:09

"Aww Ref!"

"Funny, it was 'Ooo Jeff' last night."

04/09/19 19:07:48

🎼Dah dah da-da da-da
Dah dah da-da da-da
Dah dah da-da da-da
Dah-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

03/09/19 19:12:48

"Everything's in place. Roll the Pink Panther music."

03/09/19 11:39:52

I never much liked the original, but this modern retelling of Black Beauty is bloody awful.

23/08/19 19:00:27

"I HAVE TWO KITTENS! THEIR NAMES ARE MUFFIN AND SNOWBALL! THEY'RE THE CUTEST WEE THINGS!"

Drill Sergeant Smith was hard of hearing and spoke quite loudly, but nobody had the heart to tell him.

21/08/19 19:02:55

The breast cake ever.

18/08/19 7:17:19

I was disappointed when I finally got all the packing cardboard off.

01/08/19 11:20:33

I think it's a metaphor: The guy in the stars and stripes is Trump. The steaming pile of shit is what he serves up. And the lady represents the idiots that swallow it.

22/07/19 11:35:34

"... aaannd he can moonwalk."

20/07/19 19:55:05

You'd be making this face too if somebody had just stuck a giant toothpick up your arse.

15/07/19 20:24:52

The box said the Titanic. I'm crap at Lego.

06/07/19 12:09:31

She's just lucky this ogre only eats cyclists going downhill.

05/07/19 7:07:26

"You haven't seen my boyfriend have you? Big bloke, bald, wearing a Wonder Woman top?"

03/07/19 19:08:02

The 101 Dalmatians reunion gets smaller every year.

28/06/19 19:03:25

So, Americans raffle off automatic weapons. Where I live just googling M&P AR15 has probably put me on a government watchlist.

28/06/19 7:07:58

The Vietnam War ended in 1975. It's about time they found the Napalm Girl some clothes.

25/06/19 19:02:07

Edmund Hillary's second greatest conquest.

25/06/19 11:21:52

Two under fart.

24/06/19 11:14:23

"Emmanuel, I'd love a bit of that later."
"Well Dear, give him a biscuit and you may be in luck."

23/06/19 7:10:50

"Where did I park my damn sleigh?"

13/06/19 19:03:44

This photo proves elephants can't read ... or they don't respect privacy ... or they're not afraid of dogs ... or they own private residences and keep dogs as pets ... OK, so this photo doesn't prove anything.

11/06/19 8:38:42

"Kid, I've painted myself red and been standing on my hind legs all day, don't blow my chance to get one of these buggers."

10/06/19 7:18:24

I don't think her training bra passed its final exams.

03/06/19 12:50:16

Call it a conspiracy theory, but I think this carpet makes people crazy:

https://www.caption.me/470772
https://www.caption.me/474705
https://www.caption.me/448514

31/05/19 7:00:50

Some Elton John fans are really committed.

30/05/19 7:19:37

"And the winner of this month's least captionable photo goes too ..."

27/05/19 7:24:59

"The Sand People are easily startled, but they will soon be back, and in greater numbers."

24/05/19 7:00:51

Cryptic Triptych Crypt

23/05/19 11:04:08

Trev's Fountain

16/05/19 7:16:29

"Welcome to reality, TV."

15/05/19 12:30:12

"Be patient ... I be doctor."

14/05/19 19:14:19

"On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the pink collar?"

10/05/19 19:00:28

"We're going to need a boatier boat."

08/05/19 19:03:27

The downside of being a lesbian is that while the gay boys get to wear spandex shorts, lycra bras, and dayglo glasses, you have to wear a check shirt, walking pants, and sensible shoes.

06/05/19 7:12:37

Remember the Timotei girl? Hold on to that memory.

28/04/19 8:32:53

Meanwhile, in the back seat, Molly, Harry, and little Timmy couldn't believe their parents had fled without them.

22/04/19 19:09:29

Today's music is rubbish.

18/04/19 7:05:02

Dalek war veterans do what they can to survive.

18/04/19 7:00:12

"Damn it. My system's crashed."
"So's mine."

12/04/19 19:10:55

"Well there's your problem right there."

11/04/19 7:02:36

Sauron was raised by his grandma.

08/04/19 11:34:50

"I may be 95, but my vision is still 20-20, and I can hear a pin drop at 100 yards."
"Um, that's very impressive Mrs. Jones, but what's with the binoculars?"
"No thank you Dear, I'll make myself one later."

08/04/19 11:31:13

She has nothing to be ashamed of. When I'm alone and feeling horny, I get naked and pastabathe too.

31/03/19 8:42:40

"You should have seen it. It was this long!" Sal the salmon said to his mates, while struggling to spread his fins 9 inches apart.

21/03/19 20:35:35

Tonight's meeting at the Kidnappers' Anonymous Convention will focus on reducing addiction by degrees.

20/03/19 18:29:46

Definitive proof that there were cat pictures on Caption.me as far back as 1918.

18/03/19 8:02:53

"Ok Frank, it did work ... but l still say a ladder would have been easier. "

16/03/19 12:02:15

The annual "Up shit creek without a paddle" race.

11/03/19 20:15:16

I think my "It's just the Caption.me competition picture" excuse is starting to wear thin.

08/03/19 12:23:09

Jamaican bobsled team training facility

14/02/19 20:14:52

The second little Piggy was not happy.

11/02/19 20:01:20

I think they've misinterpreted the rules of musical chairs.

10/02/19 12:09:05

"Threaten me all you want good sir, I cannot play 'Ebony and Ivory'. Would 'Dark Bronze and Not So Dark Bronze' suffice?"

07/02/19 8:08:46

"It'll be extra for all that fertiliser, but sure, I can take you to the US embassy. By the way, what's with all the wires?"

04/02/19 12:45:42

"We're going to need a bigger sofa."

30/01/19 20:52:26

Sure, she's got nice bananas, but just wait till you see her melons.

27/01/19 8:14:37

She had an ass that didn't know when to quit.

08/01/19 20:10:58

Before breathalyzers, intoxication level tests were more complicated.

19/12/18 20:13:19

"Well, at least all this action draws the attention away from me," mused the world's ugliest cat.

19/12/24 8:20:56

"Look out! Al-Qaeda has hijacked a giant bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup!"

01/12/24 12:06:33

Postman-graduates

25/11/24 20:03:55