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Bognor Regis: After 11 years the last Chilean miner finally resurfaces.
''Mummy, who's that man in the sand?'' ''Don't worry about him. He's just some nobody.''
Beachy Head
"Dad, you are sh*t at being an ostrich."
"I'll be fuming if I've let you bury me up to my neck in sand and nobody captions me as 'Chris Beach'".
Dad is the head of the family.
"So Daddy, why did you let that seagull take me to the rubbish dump the last time we were here? Think carefully about your answer, the tide is coming in."
"Mummy says this is your punishment for spending the whole of the Olympics watching women's beach volleyball."
Right you racist twat, now call a spade a spade
"Repeat after me, "Peppa Pig is the greatest"
"Actually, Dad, you appear to be the one who's grounded."
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