I came across this photo before, oh well I'm sure I'll come across it again.

30/05/21 15:46:20

creative

So my jealous ex is a pilot and I'm pretty sure he's following me.

08/05/21 15:44:20

Where's Dave?

I think he's gone for a piss or summit.

07/03/23 0:30:08

"I see the problem You have a huge crack."

18/11/21 12:36:35

It's 2023 don't even question our relationship.

15/03/23 11:38:24

"I Identify as a peacock"

07/06/22 22:32:59

Your son is so stupid he sits on the tv and watches the sofa.

22/09/21 1:36:29

Pizza-rear

23/05/23 1:36:22

Same day delivery?
Piece of cake.

28/02/23 12:12:12

the dogs bollocks

11/07/21 22:31:21

I mean i heard in America they're food portions are huge compared to the UK but I wasn't expecting this it does make sense why they all have pickups though.

29/06/21 14:42:10

Ok now I'm starting to get cold feet.

24/05/21 8:35:34

Hair-way to heaven

13/03/23 11:21:21

Always wondered what happened to Velma after scooby doo.

02/03/23 10:55:48

"Mum always said dad's part of the furniture."

20/11/21 20:11:27

Well no one said getting old would be plain sailing.

21/08/21 2:44:18

Don't Panic use a towel.

04/04/21 13:33:06

"Sharon isn't that our taxi driver?."

13/06/23 11:44:20

"Wow, they've made a huge Christmas pudding from all of the left over Christmas puddings that nobody likes."

13/06/23 11:30:17

I told my girlfriend to mentally focus on packing all of her problems into a box and throw it away.

14/03/23 9:01:11

"Boris in deep water again."

10/11/22 13:18:37

Drive through.

24/10/22 7:29:36

"I CD problem here"

26/09/22 18:25:44

My first day on the job, now it's time to sotp for a break.

08/07/22 7:39:16

"Only picture I have of dad"

09/11/21 8:36:49

This is eventually what happens to people who give nicknames to their partner's like pumpkin that's why I call mine sexy.

27/10/21 8:25:20

Look Dad, packs of birthday badges.

Packs ? Oh brilliant, grab a load.

17/10/21 22:43:47

clever

"IT wasn't me"

14/09/21 0:58:55

Lockdowns got to everyone, even the Goths are out enjoying themselves.

21/08/21 2:48:03

He's quite big for a 5 pound baby.

13/08/21 12:20:39

Dad is the head of the family.

09/08/21 16:08:46

Bet you don't have one of these Putin.

26/07/21 8:55:25

Oh that's why everyone loves Ronaldo.

22/06/21 19:33:11

Ok I admit it Goldilocks didn't even enter your house it was me.

23/05/21 20:39:54

The last time I drank here I got the trotts

06/04/23 19:10:01

Your wife's cooking is ace

27/03/23 8:19:57

hammibal

26/03/23 10:52:02

Dave the "sign guy" had one job, what a massive unt

21/02/23 17:53:46

"How did your date go?"
"Swimmingly"

29/11/22 2:15:04, edited: 29/11/22 2:15:21

Bark off

24/11/22 9:54:39

Is that Fred Perry swanning around?.

20/11/22 5:24:50

Perfect meal for one.

11/10/22 11:32:00

"she sells seashells by the seashore"
He sits there and does fuck all.

09/10/22 0:27:22, edited: 09/10/22 0:29:16

"Penguins tend to stay in pear's"

07/10/22 19:56:36

"I heard there was a religious gathering but I don't see nun"

07/10/22 12:52:12

You said if I stayed home from work today, we'd get to do plenty of banging.

13/07/22 18:34:47

"mummy's boy"

10/07/22 14:27:14

These signs have got me wondering how many seniors, before the signs were here just drove straight passed and where did they end up.

06/07/22 13:26:07

If you want my mum's milk, you'll have to go through me first.

03/07/22 18:55:25

"Fucking hell Barry, you really have lost weight, where's the rest of you?"

01/07/22 23:16:33

We will fight them on the beaches!

Putin: Okay I'm ready.

14/04/22 13:44:19

The return of Jimmy Savile.

29/03/22 12:17:59

50

26/03/22 22:44:55

Is about as likely as trump being Santa.

31/10/21 20:50:58

Kikiki! Kakaka!
Kauana kei waniwania taku tara
kei tarawahia, kei te rua i te kerokero!
He pounga rahui te uira
ka rarapa ketekete kau ana
To peru kairiri mau au e koro e!
Hi! Ha! - Ka wehi au ka matakana,
ko wai te tangata kia rere ure tirohanga
ngā rua rerarera
ngā rua kuri kakanui i raro! Aha ha!.

27/10/21 15:25:22

Can I preorder a fire engine please? My house is about to burn down.

10/10/21 21:35:06

Well Someone agreed to anal last night.

22/09/21 1:40:13

Hammond starts his own version of top gear.

10/08/21 20:06:23

Dangerous to attempt cartwheels in this area.

05/07/21 23:47:52

That doesn't count as a mask Dave, Better split.

04/07/21 21:03:40

I don't think oscar pistorius should be allowed a pet after what he did.

30/06/21 16:02:38

And if you learn all of this you can end up like me, teaching fuckwits like yourselves.

22/06/21 19:31:13