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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	47		2	#9	8	22	#15	2842	3864	#50
Photos								13	47	#15
Comments	25				1	1	#6	597	803	#12
Forum Posts								77
Suggested Edits	6							33	37	#4

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	1	#12	22	#20	7658	#32
Photos			1	#8	827	#23
Comments					302	#27
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					1	#15

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	"Just watch out for that green crocodile, Charlie." 11/10/20 7:00:06	3

	For one of these, you need deep pockets. 06/10/20 11:00:39	3

	"If I'm to hide your bald spot, I haven't got time for deodorant." 01/10/20 11:00:06	3

	Bored man of the chair 26/09/20 11:05:36	3

	"I've sat here all week, but no sign of a six-foot man yet." "Same here." 24/09/20 19:00:28	3

	"Sorry, but since we took your order the rules have changed - we can only serve six of you." 22/09/20 19:00:08	3

	C'mon, Arthur, we must try and keep fit during lockdown. 19/09/20 7:04:00	3

	"It gets a bit boring, waiting for Banksy to turn up and draw us." 29/08/20 21:04:26	3

	"Who's got his hand on Grandma's tit?" 29/08/20 11:00:19	3

	"I remember when I had the whole of this continent to roam in. Now look at what I have left." 14/08/20 11:00:06	1 3
Too close to the truth unfortunately. --Willie Johnson
	"If men can pee behind a plant-pot, so can I." 02/08/20 12:07:31	3

	I don't know where they all come from. You start off with just two little bunnies... 02/08/20 7:13:13	3

	"OK, we admit it - the mammoth meat is not fresh, it's deep-frozen." 16/07/20 7:41:58	3

	"Please go to Morrisons and buy me a wholemeal loaf and two litres of milk." 15/07/20 19:05:14	3

	"They make me do the shopping on the way home from school." "Well, they make me carry my baby brother around like a papoose." "Where is he, then?" 08/07/20 21:06:09	3

	The dog was easy. Tinting the shadows was a bit harder. 05/07/20 7:05:17	3

	I'm going to be a vegan, Mummy. 22/04/20 11:00:09	3

	I come from a household which is short on loo paper. 22/04/20 7:12:46	3

	Do not pee into the wind. 17/04/20 11:00:41	1 3
That's one way of getting your own back. --John Glover
	Please let me out, Mr SchrÃ¶dinger - I'm half-dead in here! 12/04/20 7:03:18	1 3

	Remember, two metres apart at all times... 09/04/20 7:04:11	3

	clever Gibbons just love to sneak up on bananas 02/04/20 7:10:11	3

	Waaaah! I got my towel wet! 27/03/20 12:00:27	3

	"I'm sure I know you from somewhere." 26/02/20 8:03:37	1 3
Was it the underage stripper party? --Scrijjy Doo
	So you burned the turkey, the potatoes, the pigs in blankets - but the Brussels sprouts are perfectly cooked? 19/02/20 20:00:08	3

	I think the hidden numbers are 42. 14/01/20 12:00:17	3

	clever I keep telling her to shave her armpits. 06/01/20 8:06:03	3

	No, that's fine, there's no big black tattoo on her bum. 03/01/20 20:01:57	3

	Why does there have to be a Christmas tree even in my bathroom? 24/12/19 8:35:28	3

	Jeremy Corbyn finds a new role. 17/12/19 20:00:42	3

	You will notice that he is not "by popular request". 14/12/19 20:01:29	3

	I knew we shouldn't have offered to paint the Empire State Building, Olly - another fine mess you've got us into! 07/12/19 20:01:24	3

	I always said Ella was a nut. 03/12/19 12:01:49	3

	"I know Greta Thunberg would say it's harming the atmosphere, but it does mean I can go on school strike." 02/12/19 20:00:21	3

	Terrified after having sprouted fungus on her bosom, Pennywise on her right elbow and Chewbacca on her right wrist, Mandy tried to bribe her way into the safety of the spaceship. 01/12/19 8:02:33	3

	Army budget cutbacks are really hitting hard. 26/11/19 20:00:40	3

	While Rover has opted for Labour over the Greens, Rex is going to vote Tory rather than LibDem. 14/11/19 8:03:20	3

	How to deal with an attack bunny. 11/11/19 8:13:35	3

	Vote for me to show you don't want any Gulliver captions. 09/11/19 8:07:02	3

	Nobody coming to see us, nobody captioning us - I hate being in this museum. 18/10/19 11:00:56	1 3

	I'd have got through if it hadn't been for that pesky radio aerial. 26/09/19 7:00:14	3

	Stupid creatures - they really believe I'm a statuette. 16/09/19 12:00:06	3

	You can always tell a Freemason. 11/09/19 19:00:08	3

	FX: The quick brown cow jumps over the lazy dogs. 18/08/19 19:00:04	3

	The Inter-species Amputee Association annual outing. 19/07/19 7:00:18	3

	Miss Havisham enjoys a rare day out at the zoo. 15/07/19 7:00:14	3

	I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. So long as you feed me, that is. 12/06/19 7:04:25	3

	"Follow the road through the blue barriers. You have reached your destination." 06/06/19 7:03:02	1 3
Translation: "Step on the gas." --Willie Johnson
	The magician was actually trying to disappear the can of Coke. 16/04/19 7:03:16	3

	I don't think much of Tesco's cheese. 14/04/19 11:00:27	3

	"I already phoned you once, Mummy - now GET ME SOME CHIPS!" 26/03/19 20:06:13	3

	"Oi, you, Aquaman! Keep your hands to yourself!" 21/03/19 8:03:49	3

	An ice job if you can get it. 07/03/19 12:10:10	3

	After the Korean War ended, Corporal Klinger had to find a new job. 27/02/19 12:01:46	3

	Lucien Freud's breakfast 17/02/19 13:04:30	1 3
So that's what happened to Francis Bacon! --Karyn Harrison
	Don't tell him about the, like, typo. 16/02/19 8:02:26	3

	If one more boy sits down, he'll break the record. 10/02/19 12:00:14	3

	"See you? See that camera of yours? See this putty knife? You'll be feeling it in a minute if you don't get out of here." 01/02/19 12:01:35	3

	"Don't you think you should do something about those varicose veins?" 31/01/19 8:01:31	3

	You're supposed to be advertising Hofmeister, not Harp! 30/01/19 8:00:10	3

	Ethel, do you think this chicken house is rather too hot? 28/01/19 12:00:24	3

	I'm really into this programme. 22/01/19 20:00:07	3

	Theresa May gives permission for a food bank to be opened on Ben Nevis. 25/12/18 8:03:51	3

	Foot of the bed 22/12/18 12:00:07	3

	It's a nurse shark - it looks after the baby when we're getting hammered at the beach bar. 15/12/18 12:01:07	3

	On Saturday night, he lost his head and got legless. 09/12/18 8:08:43	3

	Barbie looked out of this world, but Ken hadn't got a thing to wear. 28/11/18 20:00:06	3

	They'll never spot that I'm a dog in this disguise. 28/11/18 12:00:09	3

	Teddycotta Army. 27/11/18 20:00:08	3

	"Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?" 26/11/18 12:01:05	3

	Head and shoulders above the rest. 25/11/18 8:00:05	3

	Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz sighed. He hated having to work with all these stupid aliens. 03/11/18 12:00:22	3

	Fatman a-blobbin' 21/10/18 7:00:09	2 3

	Here's looking at you, kid. 14/10/18 7:00:09	3

	The Japanese remake of "A Clockwork Orange" didn't match up to the original. 29/09/18 11:02:33	3

	I thought at least Delia would have turned up. 21/09/18 11:00:15	3

	You might want to give it a minute or two 02/09/18 10:57:09	3

	"Look, the ceiling's leaking!" 29/08/24 7:01:12	2

	"Me! Me! You forgot me!" 07/08/24 11:00:38	2

	"I learned this stuff during lockdown." 30/07/24 17:57:44	2

	"Yes, Salome, what do you want?" 28/04/24 7:00:24	2

	Don't take a fence! 26/03/24 8:02:58	2

	"Your Majesty? I thought you were dead." 24/02/24 12:01:51	2

	♫ And IIIIIIII will always love YOOOOOOOOU ♫ 18/09/23 7:04:47	2

	There are still no absolutely confirmed sightings of Daniel Khalife. 09/09/23 7:33:52	2

	I wouldn't buy that cheap rubbish - it's only British flavoured, not real British flesh. 01/09/23 11:07:55, edited: 01/09/23 11:08:05	2

	"Mummy, look what's in my fish tank!" 29/08/23 11:16:18	2

	Dave had to supervise this strange mating ritual to have any hope of completing his collection of Dinky toys. 13/08/23 7:08:25	1 2

	Arthur: "And the speakers are located underneath the set itself. They do vibrate a bit; as you can see, George is sitting on one in order to keep it still." Mary: "We'll take it!" 25/07/23 7:15:06	2

	Courageously, Dave flung his car in front of the tram to save the lives of a troop of ducklings crossing the line. 23/07/23 7:00:54, edited: 23/07/23 7:20:57	1 2

	Deere, deere. 27/06/23 7:27:42	2

	"I daren't drink too much, in case I need to pee." 08/04/23 20:28:30	2

	Alice's sisters were very embarrassed by her strange hair and clothes. 06/04/23 11:00:49	2

	Watch out for that puppy! 19/03/23 8:55:06	2 2

	"And what are you wearing to the fancy dress party, Jeremy?" 11/03/23 17:43:06	2

	"I'm afraid I don't have my bus pass - can I still get on?" 07/03/23 8:00:54	1 2

	"You know you said you never wanted to grow older, kid?" 16/02/23 8:04:45	2

	Roger Tilling: "St Catz College, Thomas." 13/01/23 12:00:07	2

	That cigarette made him terribly sick. Fortunately, Chuggers will use the result. 11/01/23 12:00:46	2

	"Stop! That's enough questions!" 22/12/22 12:00:10	2

more captions

last comments (total: 162)

"Spain on the other hand will be a one way trip..."

[anon]

01/01/24
9:28am

comment on caption:
"Bethlehem? It's a long way, guv - I'll need to charge you the return fare." [Molly R]

The Mown of Silence

James Lennox

21/01/24
8:18am

comment on caption:
"Yes dear, yes dear. You do realise that I can't hear a word you are saying? It's wonderful!" [Molly R]

Nod to Pterry, of course.

(caption author)

29/04/24
7:55am

comment on caption:
When your librarian is an orang-utan and you made the mistake of calling him a monkey. [Molly R]

I don't get it please help.

[anon]

19/07/24
11:58am

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

Neil Parish MP was caught watching porn on his mobile phone in the House of Commons (UK Parliament) during a debate. He claimed he had been looking for information about tractors.

(caption author)

19/07/24
12:11pm

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

Were many people at the Commons that day or were they mass debating?

Glyn Evans

19/07/24
7:11pm

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

What, the Torie, morning glory?

Al Overy

19/07/24
9:38pm

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

Funny story about Salvador Dali. He used to invite his friends out for meals at expensive restaurants. When the bill arrived he'd pay for everybody with a cheque, but he'd draw a doodle on the back of it. The thing was, his doodles were worth way more than the price of the meal, so the restaurant would never cash the cheque. Cunning.

James Lennox

03/08/24
7:25am