*Free mannequin must be equally or less sexy than the least sexy of the originally purchased mannequins.

06/10/19 7:00:20

This is not the correct way to hold a panda.

05/10/19 19:18:29

The morning after is often embarrassing for a werewolf.

05/10/19 9:40:36

"Trump is a shithead ... now, let's have a look at today's caption photo."

03/10/19 19:00:12

"Faster Honey ... aim straight at the one in the homophobic T-shirt."

01/10/19 19:00:32

Diagonal bracing resists both compression and tension and therefore provides excellent reduced weight structural strength in rigid constructions using isotropic building materials.

That's about the funniest thing I could think of for this photo.

01/10/19 8:25:44

"F*ck it," said Prince Charming. "They'll be plenty more chicks at the next ball."

30/09/19 19:09:15

"And the award for 'Most likely to grow up to become a serial killer' goes to ..."

27/09/19 7:00:52

¿Por que Pig?

(Nod 13:02:04)

25/09/19 12:52:32

These Justin Trudeau photos are relentless.

24/09/19 11:45:02

"Look, I can cope with the dress, and even the stupid hat, but Jeezuz, what's with that metal pole up my arse?"

24/09/19 7:01:35

Ignore the puns, vote for my caption ewe baastards.

23/09/19 19:21:50

You fall in love with the man of your dreams, so you get a large tattoo of his likeness as a sign of dedication, but it turns out he's a supernatural serial killer who eats little children, and now you regret getting the tattoo ... That old story.

17/09/19 19:02:54

"Surely you can't be serious."

"I am Sirius, and don't call me Shirley."

03/09/19 7:05:23

Van Gogh's first attempt at "Starry Night" was kind of crap.

03/09/19 7:02:45

"Woops, sorry John. At least you've got that air freshener thingy plugged in."

01/09/19 7:01:19

So Eleanor Rigby was a dirty bag lady with clown feet ... no wonder she was a lonely person.

26/08/19 7:11:56

creative

"And this is what we'll do to Arthur Dent's brain."

18/08/19 12:35:21

Meal's on wheels.

17/08/19 11:00:32

Faghetti

16/08/19 19:00:10

"Damn! 125,000,000 miles of lakeshores and riverbanks in the world and we had to pick this spot to empty the aquarium."

05/08/19 19:04:08

Umbralley

02/08/19 19:01:20

Anthropomorphicycle

01/08/19 11:21:57

"OK Doll, basic anatomy lesson. Monkeys have tails, apes don't. I'm not a monkey, I'm an ape with one hell of an impressive penis."

09/07/19 7:05:48

Australian quintuplets mother jailed after jury fails to accept her "An emu took my babies" defence.

02/07/19 19:11:04

Due to a mathematical anomaly I currently have 42 captions remaining this week. I'm tempted to use all of them repeating over and over again "Trump is a dangerous moron," but it would be a waste of time. Every sane person in the world already knows this, and everyone who doesn't is already insane.

28/06/19 7:32:39

"Play it cool, and get me a steak and kidney pie," whispered the Invisible Man.

27/06/19 19:54:41

If acorns have baby acorns, what the hell falls off oak trees?

26/06/19 19:26:57

Santa has his sleigh, the Toothfairy has this.

10/06/19 19:28:03

Look who's finally come out of her shell.

29/05/19 11:33:12

"Jeez that dude is white," thought Pablo, switching to his extra dark sunglasses.

25/05/19 19:45:33

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil ..."

"Jeezuz Christ Will! We're trying to rest in peace here."

23/05/19 11:17:44

Little Johnny started his Supervillian career early by stealing Wonderwoman's jet.

07/05/19 19:05:09

"And this is me and the boys last Easter."

07/05/19 13:12:16

Holy of holies

05/05/19 7:09:48

"What's that about my shoes? Don't change the f*cken subject, just top up my goddamn brandy!"

04/05/19 7:04:58

The other geese laughed when she said he'd win an academy award one day, but his mum always knew Ryan was special.

03/05/19 8:17:03

And just like that, the global rising sea level crisis was averted.

26/04/19 7:28:34

He's in hiding from three rabbits with guns.

23/04/19 19:11:15

"Did you know you can remove lint with your tongue? I'll demonstrate if you like."

17/04/19 12:01:50

"I know how to escape! Use metal bar to pry open electrical wiring hatch. Put on rubber gloves. Insert bar between the two live terminals. Tie blue cloth to straw, and place straw between teeth. Lubricate anus with lump of butter. Insert coke can. Gently lower buttocks on to live metal bar. Wait until coke can explodes (bite down on straw for pain if necessary) and propels you over wall. Remove straw from teeth and wave flag to summon medical assistance."

16/04/19 7:12:12

lol

"I'll never forgive you for yesterday morning ... on your bed, our bed, kissing you ... that black and white bitch from next door."

02/04/19 13:52:39

"You've got something on your face."

30/03/19 21:04:32

"It's just not the same here since George Michael stopped coming around."

27/03/19 8:05:11

creative

"So what you want to do is keep driving up this road for about two miles, then take a left. About another mile or so on you'll see an old windmill. Take a right just after that. From there you can't miss it."

25/03/19 13:32:58

Terminator Two old to be behaving like this.

20/03/19 8:00:45

A lifetime of smoking has taken its toll on Huey and Dewey, and as for Louie ...

15/03/19 21:47:11

Pablo regretted marrying an Eskimo.

07/03/19 14:13:02

"Krack'n shoes luv."

02/03/19 9:22:09

"F-A-N-N ... sorry Doc, I can't make out the last letter."

28/02/19 8:02:10

While the Psycho Brothers were the focus of attention, Clasper the Horny Ghost took the opportunity to hump another tree.

27/02/19 12:10:31

He's not looking too good. That sugar cube hit him square in the forehead.

26/02/19 8:26:38

Bill didn't like being a washing machine repairman, nor was he very good at it.

24/02/19 20:44:38

30 captions in and no direct mention of pussies being eaten ... woops.

30/01/19 20:11:42

So that's what they do with all the voteless captions.

20/01/19 20:04:44

"Hello. My name is Ungato Enfadado. You killed my father last caption. Prepare to die."

11/01/19 21:44:32

Suddenly, Dr. Seuss books no longer seem weird.

13/12/24 12:05:38, edited: 13/12/24 12:11:42

"Ha ha ha, when that old woman wakes up she's going to shit herself!"

10/12/24 20:01:01

"You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

05/12/24 20:06:27, edited: 05/12/24 20:09:51

Santa Paws

20/11/24 12:20:10, edited: 20/11/24 12:28:47

"Damn," moaned Dave. "I really got plastered last night."

11/11/24 8:22:01, edited: 11/11/24 8:40:27

"I may have added a little too much starch."

29/10/24 8:06:53, edited: 29/10/24 8:58:14

Cucies

21/10/24 7:00:32

"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess this is the last leg of your journey?"

19/10/24 7:08:43

F#CKEN' RUSSIA! W@NK-NUT PR!CK-FACE PUTIN!! SH!T-@RSE EXCRUCIATING PUNS!!! ... I'm so sorry, I suffer from Turret's Syndrome.

01/10/24 19:17:01

Wait till you see what's under the hod.

24/09/24 7:06:06

South Africa, 1978...

"Dinnertime! You can play with your turtle later, Elon."

23/09/24 19:12:53, edited: 23/09/24 19:17:40

"Hmmn, no, I'm not feeling it. Let's go with Gene Kelly instead, move the setting to Hollywood, and for God's sake, fire that props guy."

21/09/24 19:45:32, edited: 22/09/24 5:52:10, suggested edits

"I love those shoes, they really show off your legumes."

09/09/24 7:01:52, edited: 09/09/24 7:06:31

It's Raining Mentals

07/09/24 19:01:09

"Oh my God! A Flapifilofluro, the most fragile and endangered butterfly in the world! Quick catch it before **SPLAT** ... Nevermind."

07/09/24 7:05:58

A rare photo of Seabiscuit and Puddlebiscuit.

04/09/24 19:04:30, edited: 05/09/24 5:20:41

"So, sir, what makes you think someone has been performing sexual acts on your donuts?"

"They're not donuts. They're buns."

16/08/24 19:12:20, edited: 16/08/24 19:16:13

New York Kitty

20/07/24 7:11:38, edited: 20/07/24 7:17:40

"I see you've been branded, too. Sorry, mate, they don't wash off."

07/07/24 19:01:51, edited: 07/07/24 19:18:13

Dave hadn't quite got the hang of promoting himself on Tinder...

"And this is a photo of me, with an eruption."

30/06/24 7:04:59, edited: 30/06/24 7:08:27

The Nutcracker Seat

28/06/24 7:02:04, edited: 28/06/24 7:15:05

"Thanks, kids, you can have your phones back now."

16/06/24 19:06:50

"Maybe I am short, fat, and ginger, but my uncle is King Kong. He's behind you."

13/06/24 19:23:27, edited: 13/06/24 19:26:22

creative

Roger Waters had an interesting childhood.

13/06/24 7:03:38

Crusts Dog Show

05/06/24 7:03:25, edited: 05/06/24 7:04:40

"Do you think mum will mind that we snuck off and left her to clean up after that blonde bitch?"

30/05/24 7:01:39

Dewey Decimate System

29/04/24 7:10:31, edited: 29/04/24 7:12:58

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."

22/04/24 19:20:06

Mother in claw

21/04/24 19:06:18, edited: 21/04/24 19:09:08

"Don't mind me folks, I'm just tracking down a slim lead."

21/04/24 7:09:38, edited: 21/04/24 7:27:26

"Oh crap! Brain freeze!"

12/04/24 7:07:04

"So, Dave, how is marriage to a mermaid?"

"Crap. I can't breath underwater. There's sharks everywhere. And my wife has no sexual organs."

11/04/24 7:08:18

Rastatoofarian

06/04/24 19:20:54

"Sounds fine, Dave. You can put your box back on now."

31/03/24 20:08:21

"What's the matter? Cat got your Mustung?"

24/03/24 20:16:17, edited: 24/03/24 21:22:44, suggested edits

6 foot Underground

21/03/24 20:00:31

"We are amused."

18/03/24 8:12:34

The Owl and the Pithy Hat

13/03/24 12:03:15

🎵 Some bear, groped her on Rainbow 🎵

28/02/24 13:11:20

"Ha ha ha, where's your mummy, little bear?" teased Dave. "Oh ... she's behind me, isn't she?"

21/02/24 8:52:01, edited: 21/02/24 8:56:43

"No, sir, it's not an STD. It's just gravel rash."

19/02/24 20:04:27

Crocatoa

12/02/24 8:03:06

"This park outing sucks, but it beats the time he took us to see Cats."

11/02/24 12:29:16, edited: 11/02/24 13:09:25

clever

"Darn. Forgot the can opener..."

08/02/24 12:21:27