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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	76	3	4	#2	22	101	#2	6405	17457	#16
Photos			2	#3		7	#5	453	1158	#6
Comments	14	1			3	3	#1	1233	1867	#3
Forum Posts								53
Suggested Edits	5							39	44	#3
Tips								1	2	#9

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	3	#5	43	#7	10352	#24
Photos			3	#5	1000	#20
Comments					2026	#5
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					31	#2
Tips					1	#4

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	Flush & Chips 14/10/24 19:21:08	11

	Oh God, not another James Lennox photo... 28/08/24 7:01:49	1 11

	It's only a matter of time before somebody mentions Robert Plant and Kate Bush. 23/06/24 7:07:47, edited: 23/06/24 7:13:45	1 11

	"Hi, boss, look, I can't make it in today. On the way to work a giant yellow woollen bunny fell from the sky and landed on me." "Oh, for God's sake, Dave, just claim a mental health day like everybody else." 26/04/24 19:04:16	11

	Luke Stystalker 25/04/24 19:09:07	11

	Squeals on Wheels 18/04/24 11:14:09	3 11
Chris, I think James's account's been hacked. ;) --Al Overy
	"Sorry, mate. Last confession was Dave. Everyone else is boring." 23/03/24 8:01:06	1 11

	Guns and Dozes 16/02/24 8:36:27	11

	"And the lesson is, kids, always wear your SPF 1500." 15/02/24 8:20:07	11

	lol "Billy, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is Goldy has gone down the toilet." "And the good news?" "He performed a perfect triple back flip on the way in." 14/02/24 20:04:39, edited: 15/02/24 0:30:30, suggested edits	2 11
Don't mention it, caption author. It's easy to make mistakes when you're in a hurry to post a caption. --Karyn Harrison
	"Madam, please stop playing with the floatation devices and disembark through the emergency door immediately." 30/01/24 20:01:29, edited: 30/01/24 20:02:12	11

	And I thought my wife cost a fortune to shoe. 15/11/23 20:24:38	11

	Tiddles was 2 moves away from setting a new world record when, sadly, she noticed her arse needed licking. 05/11/23 12:17:41	11

	lol "In the red corner, with a record of 56 fights, 50 wins, 44 by way of knockout ... IRON MIKE TYSON!!! ... and in the blue corner it's Whistler's mum." 20/10/23 8:08:04	11

	"Look, I appreciate the attempt at romance, Dave, but I'm not sure this is how that scene from Ghost went." 31/08/23 19:24:58	11

	clever -"So, do you like girls with big blimp-shaped speech bubbles?" -"No, I prefer girls with small round speech bubbles." -"What a coincidence! That's what I've got." 03/06/23 7:00:22	11

	"My thoughts? Let's just not go back for the fox." 15/04/23 7:00:56, edited: 15/04/23 7:01:31	11

	Somehow I thought he'd be taller. 09/03/23 8:01:09	11

	lol "Do you have Vanilla Ice?" "No. Just, no." 24/02/23 20:51:50	11

	"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dine." 23/02/23 20:11:27	11

	I'm so glad they cut this scene out of Jaws. 09/02/23 8:18:05, edited: 09/02/23 8:21:23	11

	Marines test new ejector trousers. 08/02/23 20:02:47	11

	creative "Severe anaemia, Mr. Gulliver." 01/02/23 12:00:44	11

	"Damn it, Dave, next time check the opening hours before we travel 4.367 light years from Alpha Centauri." 01/02/23 8:19:10, edited: 01/02/23 8:32:03	11

	lol My dentist recommended this, just before he drilled through my lip and passed out on the floor. 18/01/23 20:12:15	1 11

	Bravehearth 16/12/22 8:45:06	11

	^^ NEW Noreal Anti-Aging Cream! ^^ "People say I look fifty years younger than what I am" - Sue from Brighton, 51. *Disclaimer: Results may vary 21/11/22 20:18:10, edited: 21/11/22 20:20:13	11

	The one advantage of having this guy as dad is that you develop a really thick skin. 20/08/22 7:25:50	11

	"Oh, a pun, I've heard of these. Common people use them, don't they?" 15/06/22 19:12:23	11

	Ok, so the White Rabbit is obvious, but which one of you is Alice? 23/05/22 9:04:31	11

	"I'm sure Mum won't mind me borrowing this thing she keeps in her bedside table." 17/05/22 11:12:59	11

	"This psychopathic nutcase is about to mount me, and you seriously have to ask why the long face?" 20/04/22 19:01:02	11

	I've always wondered how spaghetti was made. 10/01/22 8:43:40	1 11
It grows on trees? --Glyn Evans
	"My culture believes it is a sin to go out in public without first covering your face." "My culture too, honey, my culture too." 02/01/22 8:44:25	11

	lol "Girls, please come back to the farm! I said we've got 'Ed shearing', not 'Ed Sheeran'!" 03/11/21 20:38:21	11

	Holy crap, I've got the leading caption for the first time ever! Oh, wait ... damn you, Chris Beach. 02/11/21 21:35:46	11

	"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! It's Al Overy!" 24/10/21 19:00:55	6 11
It probably wasn't Al. It's still in the single digits. --Willie Johnson
	"I'm so sorry about this. We really must get our chandeliers more safely secured to the ceiling." 29/07/21 19:23:29	1 11
Good thing the fan wasn't going. --Willie Johnson
	Kids these days ... can't even wipe their own arses without help from Google. 03/06/21 11:00:47	1 11
Adults too. It's easiest when there's a printer attached to the device. I wouldn't recommend it as it's a bit rough on the hole and you can risk paper cuts. --Glyn Evans
	"Is he ever going to yell 'Cut'?" 07/05/21 19:03:16	11

	creative "Dear me," remarked the Queen. "That dominos display was rubbish." 29/04/21 11:23:45	11

	"Psst ... we're getting off this planet soon. Don't tell the humans." 15/04/21 11:13:20	4 11
One of my favourite Douglas Adams lines: "Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the ... --Crunchy Chords
	"Two? Freak." 27/02/21 8:01:35	1 11
And they are on her chest. Udderly ridiculous. --Willie Johnson
	lol How many times have I lain half naked in a pool of my own vomit and before passing out stupidly thought, "Well, at least things can't get any worse." 15/02/21 8:15:22	11

	"Yes, my paw has been stuck to the steering wheel. No, I'm not going to elaborate on the type of adhesive used." 28/11/20 8:42:50	11

	lol "Candy? Is that you?" "No." 22/10/20 20:36:25	11

	"Dear Mr. Beach, I have your daughter. She will be safely released after you change last month's winning caption to 'The Dali Llama'. Yours sincerely, Anon." 08/10/20 7:06:23	7 11
Sorry Glyn, it was just me pretending to be Stoneface pretending to be Anon, so the truth is still out there... --James Lennox
	At least the English version only has one mistake, the Welsh version is a right mess. 02/10/20 11:06:33	11

	"Well Karen, it's called a stiletto, and the things it's made out of are called pans." There are sexy wives, and kitchen wives, but poor Frank missed out on both. 24/08/20 19:27:24	11

	Don't you just hate it when some random idiot washes your windows, then expects to get paid? 23/08/20 7:06:39	1 11
"Will you pay him, honey?" "What?" "I mean, will you pay him honey?" --Willie Johnson
	"Darling, if you don't stop smoking then in 20 years you'll be dead!" "Well doll, in 20 years you're gonna look like your mother, so I'll take death." 16/08/20 19:24:58	11

	"Lassie, my hand is caught in the filter. Unlock the gate latch with your teeth, then open the door inside with your paws. Knock the phone off the receiver and tap 9-9-9 with your nose. When someone answers, bark out Morse code for S-O-S. Go girl!" "... woof?" 12/07/20 19:17:47	4 11
I love the new extended Director's Cut, but I'll leave it up to you Karyn. Edit: Glad you agree! :^) --Crunchy Chords
	It's always embarrassing when your anteater sneezes in public. 18/06/20 23:20:45	1 11
Even worse when he eats it. --Willie Johnson
	Typical, me and my mates were enjoying a nice day at the beach, then bang on lunchtime a f*cking Captioneer showed up. 28/05/20 11:03:46	11

	I told her not to insult my horse. 16/05/20 7:03:42	11

	Makes you wonder what she's doing with her other hand? 07/03/20 9:25:47	11

	You think head lice are bad, try having fire bugs. 02/02/20 8:39:43	11

	Ah, the hummingbird, the songbird's shy cousin. 31/01/20 8:24:20	11

	Due to a strict censorship doctrine all Japanese porn is pixelated. 14/01/20 12:23:38	11

	I think the hedgehog's been done to death ... but another ten minutes in the oven wouldn't hurt. 12/12/19 20:11:36	11

	clever I find myself strangely attracted to her, but maybe it's just gravity. 04/12/19 21:06:26	11

	I have a sudden urge to give Peace a chance ... twice. 28/11/19 8:02:02	11

	"Where'd that guy in the 'Homo Sex Leads to Hell' shirt disappear to?" 12/11/19 20:06:44	11

	"I'll give you a banana when you finish writing that complete works of Shakespeare." 28/10/19 12:15:47	11

	Sometimes my wife and I role play that she's a prostitute and I'm a horny client. This is a picture of me practising with a real prostitute. 07/10/19 11:46:09	11

	lol They warned us AI would take over the world, but when my smartphone became fully sentient it just decided to get its charging port pierced. 04/10/19 7:24:14	11

	🎵Paper-bike Rider🎵 01/08/19 7:01:01	11

	Just a regular day at the beach for Evel Knievel. 13/06/19 7:34:54	11

	"Look at that girl taking our photo over her shoulder. Weirdo." 20/05/19 7:09:41	11

	Ground Hog Day ... I feel like I've read this caption before. 13/05/19 21:51:52	1 11
Must have been on the grounds of the pork. --Willie Johnson
	The moment the Invisible Man realised he wasn't that special. 25/04/19 7:05:14	11

	Woolly Jumpers 25/03/19 20:00:21	11

	The rumour that King Midas died while masturbating turned out to be true. 13/02/19 20:29:48	11

	"Got it! Can you hear better now?" 02/12/24 20:00:34	10

	"On second thoughts, maybe I don't want to go with assisted dying..." 28/11/24 12:19:47	10

	Dave's act was met with a raptorous response. 22/11/24 12:33:36	10

	creative "Well, I may be bald," said Dave. "But I do have an incredibly strong penis." 20/09/24 7:03:16	10

	Seriously, does anybody understand the categories in the Paralympics? 05/09/24 7:01:31, edited: 05/09/24 7:05:22	10

	"Bad time to ask, luv, but do you know any cat puns?" 15/08/24 19:01:09, edited: 15/08/24 19:08:16	3 10
''My husband is called Tom and I've just seen the curtain move. Is that any help?'' --Dave Bryan
	A happy photo of Dave and Tina, before Tina left Dave for a snowman with a 10 inch carrot. 19/07/24 19:08:20	10

	creative x2 After a hard days reaping, Death likes to unwind with a few beers at the local strip club. 06/06/24 7:05:06, edited: 06/06/24 7:10:43	10

	Eggs over Siamesey 29/03/24 21:25:40, edited: 29/03/24 23:23:24, suggested edits	1 10

	Boot's in Puss 24/03/24 20:00:30, edited: 24/03/24 20:03:32	10

	It caused quite a stomach ache, but 200 avocados and 5 buckets of sour cream later, Dave finally got her naked. 10/03/24 20:14:33, edited: 10/03/24 20:22:19	10

	lol I think the new menopause awareness campaign may be a little too abstract. 25/02/24 12:13:16, edited: 25/02/24 12:19:25	10

	World record attempt ruined by clumsy delivery boy. 17/02/24 12:00:53, edited: 17/02/24 12:05:44	10

	Most herbivores can eat meat, they just have trouble digesting it. 14/02/24 8:09:51	10

	"As far as OnAdventureWithDad situations go, this isn't that bad at all. I'm only cleaning up a little cocaine that got spilt when one of the strippers fell off a coffee table." 22/01/24 8:17:03	1 10

	Weird that Gran was against genetically engineered peas, rice, and cabbages, but she was all for cucumbers and corn. 08/12/23 8:02:15, edited: 08/12/23 20:26:59	2 10
Fine with me, caption author. --Karyn Harrison
	clever "Hellenistic statue ... pass it on." "Helen is tits askew ... pass it on." 02/12/23 20:25:16	10

	lol x2 "Build your own man! First part just 99p!!" subsequent parts £19.99 each 28/11/23 8:27:09, edited: 29/11/23 8:31:43	5 10
Only my opinion of course but I think the original "Build your own man!" caption is superb. --The Wolf
	creative "Thank-you, Sally, Sarah, and Susan, for that graphic representation of how pressure is created by tectonic plates." 24/11/23 8:29:22	10

	"Meet Li, and Lu, my trophy wives." 11/10/23 19:10:48	10

	Quarter Pounder with squeeze. 05/09/23 7:25:20, edited: 05/09/23 7:33:36	10

	"So, yes, the data confirms it. Dogs are more prevalent on caption.me than cats." 09/08/23 7:00:52	10

	"So, Stan, do you like it? Why don't you give the remote control a whirl." "Alrighty. Susan, go turn the television on." 25/07/23 7:04:17, edited: 25/07/23 7:10:15	10

	"I don't know why you're complaining, Dave. The three of us are doing all the work while you just hold the ladder." 27/06/23 7:09:38	10

	Disfigure Skating 02/05/23 19:16:12	10

	"My room number is 412. Bring wine." 13/02/23 12:00:14	10

	clever As Long As You Can Read All Of This You Have No Worries 19/01/23 8:01:13	10

more captions

last comments (total: 1022)

Gotta admit, that's much better. Thanks, Kathleen.

(caption author)

26/11/24
8:55am

comment on caption:
Bitchelor's Degree [James Lennox]

Sorry Glad You Remember. Didn't see your vote while I was tweaking the wording. Have reverted to the original.

(caption author)

30/11/24
12:28pm

comment on caption:
"Okay, nice photo, now go pack your bags Alf. It's not long till Trump is inaugurated." [James Lennox]

Hi Chris. Is there a font available for caption display that discerns between capital I and little l (like the caption creation font does)? Low priority, as I know font changes can cause major issues, but just wondering.

EDIT: I've just noticed the I / l sameness is only on my phone. The PC font does display them differently.

(caption author)

02/12/24
5:42pm

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

Nod 8:14:39. Not there when I started. Maybe mine's different enough? Or maybe I'll edit.

(caption author)

03/12/24
8:19am

comment on caption:
"Yep, sorry, Edward Scissorhands works Thursdays. I'm Emma Shrubhead." [James Lennox]

Hi there - I've just checked on my iPhone and it seems okay. Which phone are you using, please?

Chris Beach

(admin)

03/12/24
11:59am

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

Android, Chris. The font in the creation box displays I and l differently, but when it switches to the published pages I and l are the same. It's no biggie, as the cases it would cause confusion are rare (this caption for example, or Al's name reading as AI).

(caption author)

03/12/24
7:16pm

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

I don't want to edit post votes, but that "thanks" is really bugging me wink