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“Daddy, why’s there an extension lead going to next door’s garage?” “Shhhh.”
"Ah, I see you bought the Jehovah's Witness Repellant Package."
''Believe me, Sandra, there's absolutely no possibility that Santa will miss our house.''
"Yeah, you can't miss it. It's the one with the blue curtains."
"Sorry kids, there'll be no presents this year. Our electric bill is larger than we expected."
"Switch that bloody toilet light out when you've been in there!"
"But Greta, we just wanted to welcome you home for Christmas," said Mr and Mrs Thunberg.
Christmas comes early for Phil Swan.
"Christ's sake, Holly, it's only September."
"You said you wanted me to put a load of bulbs in the front garden."
One of Eddy Grant's old haunts.
Thankfully, there wasn't a spare plug for the smart meter.
"Sorry you wanted them set up in London Street not London Road" said Dave
F*ck the planet - it's Christmas!
Needless to say, when the three wise men reached their destination they were a tad disappointed.
"Look, Love, here come the carol singers!" 🎶 All is calm, all is brigHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, MY EYES, MY EYES!!!
"In my day, they would have never have had this during the Blitz!"
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