super vote: ( left this week)
13/07/23 7:11:00
09/11/23 12:08:28, edited: 15/03/24 18:18:14, suggested edits
The Post Code Lottery found a new way to tell entrants they hadn't won
26/09/23 7:10:31
“I think my waters have broken “ said Mrs Gulliver
01/11/23 8:07:39
Dave was determined to get his money's worth at the Build a Bear shop.
11/01/24 20:03:04, edited: 11/01/24 20:08:37, suggested edits
Dave the giraffe was going to get his revenge on Noah for choosing the other 2 giraffes he turned up with.
24/10/24 7:01:35, suggested edits
Unfortunately for Davina the pin the donkey game had not gone well
23/12/23 8:10:01
“They said they couldn’t do me a 99 but could do a 57” said Dave
28/10/23 19:11:26
Going down the slide was a near death experience
01/05/23 11:06:38
A pooh dunnit murder mystery
22/03/23 8:04:13
Space probe sends pictures confirming there’s water on Mars
13/11/24 12:09:17, edited: 13/11/24 12:11:12
"This is great I must come back and do this in the summer" said Dave
03/05/24 7:05:49, edited: 03/05/24 7:06:11
"You do realise it's rude to point"
27/09/23 7:09:54
Dave regretted calling the stripper ad in the phone box
28/08/23 7:31:03
Chris Beach announces venue for the Dave Awards Ceremony
19/10/23 7:08:45
“You know granny wants to see you “
24/09/23 7:05:10
"Have you made any plans for Christmas yet?"
17/09/23 11:01:12
"Quick we need to get across the border before Trump is elected"
06/03/24 8:08:06
"They had run out of Christmas trees" said Dave
11/12/23 8:28:24
“Was the Police all you could think of for something blue”
15/09/23 11:08:53
“Hmm she is a captioneer and my name is Dave this is not going to end well “
09/09/23 19:06:58
"Are you sure that is all you have left?" said Dave at 10 PM on his Christmas Eve present buying spree.
04/12/24 8:05:12
“When you said it was an 18-30 holiday I thought you meant age not year “ said Dave
30/08/24 11:10:51
“ The wedding reception starts at 5.00 this Saturday so you will just need to cover for 90 minutes unless there’s extra time “ said Dave
03/07/24 11:28:21, suggested edits
Dave liked to start easy with his ransom demands
03/09/23 19:02:50, edited: 03/09/23 19:03:09
Dave knew he would find a way to enjoy the James Blunt concert with his girlfriend
13/06/23 7:10:10
Sir Persilval
20/11/24 20:01:32, edited: 20/11/24 20:02:24
“I did say I thought those Taylor Swift tickets were fake “ said Dave
23/06/24 11:05:13
"Bloody hell Dave you were supposed to remove the hanger before sending her out"
08/06/24 11:02:28
"I told you we would get a carriage to ourselves" said Sally
05/03/24 8:11:41
Edward always won
04/01/24 20:05:02
" Okay I have removed the c,a,p,t keys just the i,o,n,.,m and e to go. Hopefully you should then get your life back "
09/11/23 8:10:17
“Bloody hell Hadrian’s been busy “
03/12/24 12:02:05
Rishi Sunak's school dormitory.
04/07/24 11:06:42, edited: 04/07/24 12:41:16, suggested edits
“Of course it’s my anus and can you stop groping it “ said Sally
16/01/24 12:02:30
“Joseph can you please tell those 3 wise men to sod off”
25/12/23 12:10:41
“Any update on when the plumber is coming to fix the toilet?”
25/07/23 11:41:53
Meating place
21/07/23 7:03:54
“Dave you do realise you can reset the facial recognition on your phone “
01/10/24 11:01:24
"Why couldn't you have robbed JD Sports in the riots like everyone else " said Sue
28/08/24 19:02:48
"Quick before the delivery guy realises he has delivered to the wrong house" said Dave
29/06/24 7:07:36
In space no one can hear you cream
19/06/24 7:03:56
"You saw ME buying a cucumber that size"
03/03/23 8:03:06
Biker Grove
21/01/25 8:00:42
“Even I can see it’s a bloody tiger “
14/09/24 19:39:33
Men behaving balletly
25/04/24 7:00:58
Bungle always felt a right tit being on Rainbow
28/02/24 12:15:21
Bloody hell 25p for The Sun
19/02/24 20:03:43
"I think I may have crabs" said Sue"it's a lot worse than that" said sally
06/02/24 8:03:15, edited: 06/02/24 8:03:33
Kay FC
12/01/24 8:03:00
Barnsley 2040
30/11/23 12:01:23
Dave always attracted the clingy types
04/11/23 20:09:14
Doctor said it’s a repetitive strain injury
13/10/23 11:00:53
Even the dogs realised you only needed to dress your top half when on zoom meetings
27/05/23 7:18:55
Aristocat
22/05/23 7:03:34
Mittens was ready to deal with the Tory local election literature coming through the door
09/04/23 7:18:38
It must be a female raccoon as the lid is down
12/12/24 20:09:17
Tie breaker
09/12/24 12:01:17
“Next stop Trafalgar Square “
31/10/24 12:01:18
Dave was surprised by the message he found in his condom packet
04/10/24 19:02:29
“Dave did you forget to leave the refuse collectors their Christmas tip again?” Said Davina
18/06/24 19:07:40
Snappy dresser
14/01/24 20:07:36
Full bodied red wine
21/12/23 12:02:47
Dave never was any good at hide and seek
26/08/23 11:02:31
Dave could not understand the big deal about money laundering
15/07/23 7:04:37
The fabric shop had said the cloth was end of line but Claire didn't realise they meant Jubilee Line
13/05/23 7:05:20
Turns out Jan only wanted the matching t-shirt back
11/03/23 8:05:56
“Are you sure this is the only charging point around here “ said Dave
15/01/25 8:03:22
“Keep searching to find out why he voted for Trump “
07/12/24 20:02:56
Dave liked to find ways to hide that he was a vampire
11/09/24 7:39:56
Wet dreams
23/08/24 7:04:07
“Do I still smell of garlic?”
24/07/24 11:03:28
"I think the cat knows we are off to Mexico and wants to come with us " said Dave
06/03/24 8:23:40
"I spent too much time scratching my head as to where to go on holiday " said Dave
24/01/24 8:11:19
Cast of has beans
07/01/24 20:01:08
Beesy Rider
03/12/23 12:03:54
Costs an arm and a leg
04/10/23 11:03:26
Dave couldn’t fully commit to being in a ZZ Top tribute band
09/09/23 11:49:22
“Granny why are there no earlier family pictures on your sideboard?”
22/07/23 11:12:10, edited: 22/07/23 11:12:34
EasyJet are now offering seats for those customers suffering from claustrophobia
14/07/23 11:08:23
"The person who uses the last dish needs to do all the washing up"
30/05/23 16:00:58, edited: 30/05/23 16:04:25
"What you left your phone at home some date this is going to be"
03/05/23 7:02:24
Should have gone to pecsavers
23/04/23 7:21:56, edited: 23/04/23 7:22:36
"We're getting out as it's too bloody scary in there"
09/02/25 8:02:57
“Another What’sApe message “
18/01/25 12:02:06, edited: 18/01/25 12:02:16
“You won’t believe how difficult it was finding a baby sitter on New Year’s Eve “ said Dave
06/12/24 20:06:35
Crocodile fears
30/11/24 20:01:19
How all the Beatles saw Abbey Road before the picture was taken
17/10/24 7:01:57
Peru Got Talent always struggled for entrants
13/07/24 12:01:52
Dave was feeling a bit sluggish
02/05/24 7:04:43, edited: 02/05/24 7:04:57
"Alas poor Yorick. That gives me an idea I must get back to the typewriter"
23/04/24 11:02:10, edited: 23/04/24 11:04:05
"I'm flattered but you know I'm older than 16"
06/01/24 8:06:11
“Sorry but the baby sitter cancelled at the last minute “
05/01/24 20:03:17, suggested edits
"Do you think I need to call the AA""Perhaps I do need to sober up first"
10/11/23 20:04:22
"What do you think?""I think it's called an engine"
10/11/23 20:01:04
"You know we don't put the heating on till 1 October"
19/08/23 7:06:35
The Costa interview process was pretty intense
28/07/23 19:02:51
"And don't leave the toilet seat up again next time"
16/05/23 11:39:20
Slam Drunk
Sat 12:05:16
Petdegrees
25/11/24 20:01:11, edited: 25/11/24 20:01:37
130 - 139 120 - 129 110 - 119 100 - 109 90 - 99 80 - 89 70 - 79 60 - 69 50 - 59 40 - 49 30 - 39 20 - 29 10 - 19 1 - 9
I think they're sheep, there's Flock Ness in the background.
comment on caption: Scottish Dave had some very boaring tales [Phil Swan]
Remember where you are. They're overfed cats.
Maybe they're some undiscovered or extinct species? As Dave ate the last four.
See 12:03:26 said Dave
comment on caption: "Can't believe they are still reeling Tom Cruise out for these Top Gun film series" said Dave [Phil Swan]
Nor am I. That is definitely not a buffalo.
comment on caption: "Look I am not sure why Dave named you Springfield and me Tikka" [Phil Swan]
Glad your mum was available then
comment on caption: “You won’t believe how difficult it was finding a baby sitter on New Year’s Eve “ said Dave [Phil Swan]
You're going to have to move the probe a lot lower.
comment on caption: “Keep searching to find out why he voted for Trump “ [Phil Swan]
See 20:15:50
comment on caption: “The designer used to work for Hot Wheels “ said Dave [Phil Swan]
Because it looked like a whore's?
comment on caption: Cinderella was concerned her lost shoe might put off Prince Charming [Phil Swan]
Question, Cap Auth. Is this a pun on 'jaywalking' or is my 20:02:12 (started before seeing yours) a near theme dupe? If the latter, I'll edit.
comment on caption: “I’m arresting you for jaywalking “ [Phil Swan]
I think they're sheep, there's Flock Ness in the background.
8:44am
comment on caption:
Scottish Dave had some very boaring tales [Phil Swan]
Remember where you are. They're overfed cats.
12:31pm
comment on caption:
Scottish Dave had some very boaring tales [Phil Swan]
Maybe they're some undiscovered or extinct species? As Dave ate the last four.
9:16am
comment on caption:
Scottish Dave had some very boaring tales [Phil Swan]
See 12:03:26 said Dave
4:43pm
comment on caption:
"Can't believe they are still reeling Tom Cruise out for these Top Gun film series" said Dave [Phil Swan]
Nor am I. That is definitely not a buffalo.
8:42am
comment on caption:
"Look I am not sure why Dave named you Springfield and me Tikka" [Phil Swan]
Glad your mum was available then
5:17pm
comment on caption:
“You won’t believe how difficult it was finding a baby sitter on New Year’s Eve “ said Dave [Phil Swan]
You're going to have to move the probe a lot lower.
11:16pm
comment on caption:
“Keep searching to find out why he voted for Trump “ [Phil Swan]
See 20:15:50
8:52pm
comment on caption:
“The designer used to work for Hot Wheels “ said Dave [Phil Swan]
Because it looked like a whore's?
9:33am
comment on caption:
Cinderella was concerned her lost shoe might put off Prince Charming [Phil Swan]
Question, Cap Auth. Is this a pun on 'jaywalking' or is my 20:02:12 (started before seeing yours) a near theme dupe? If the latter, I'll edit.
8:23pm
comment on caption:
“I’m arresting you for jaywalking “ [Phil Swan]