captions


lol x3 13/07/23 7:11:00		24 35
Very well done, Phil! Yours was the crem of the crop. Congratulations on your win. --Al Overy

lol 09/11/23 12:08:28, edited: 15/03/24 18:18:14, suggested edits		24 30
Well done Phil - great caption! How was the date? --Mr Dome
	lol x3 The Post Code Lottery found a new way to tell entrants they hadn't won 26/09/23 7:10:31	27

	lol “I think my waters have broken “ said Mrs Gulliver 01/11/23 8:07:39	26

	lol Dave was determined to get his money's worth at the Build a Bear shop. 11/01/24 20:03:04, edited: 11/01/24 20:08:37, suggested edits	1 22
I've left a bit of a pedantic edit suggestion Cap Auth. Feel free to ignore. --James Lennox
	creative lol x2 Dave the giraffe was going to get his revenge on Noah for choosing the other 2 giraffes he turned up with. 24/10/24 7:01:35, suggested edits	21

	lol Unfortunately for Davina the pin the donkey game had not gone well 23/12/23 8:10:01	21

	clever x2 “They said they couldn’t do me a 99 but could do a 57” said Dave 28/10/23 19:11:26	1 21

	Going down the slide was a near death experience 01/05/23 11:06:38	20

	A pooh dunnit murder mystery 22/03/23 8:04:13	20

	Space probe sends pictures confirming there’s water on Mars 13/11/24 12:09:17, edited: 13/11/24 12:11:12	19

	lol creative "This is great I must come back and do this in the summer" said Dave 03/05/24 7:05:49, edited: 03/05/24 7:06:11	1 19

	"You do realise it's rude to point" 27/09/23 7:09:54	19

	Dave regretted calling the stripper ad in the phone box 28/08/23 7:31:03	19

	lol Chris Beach announces venue for the Dave Awards Ceremony 19/10/23 7:08:45	7 18
Apologies to Vanessa, Vivvy, KT A, Karen, Dot, Catherine, Julia, Karen, Karen, Karyn, Kathleen, Mandy, Valerie, Alexandra, and Jo in having to party in a gents' toilet --Mr Dome
	lol “You know granny wants to see you “ 24/09/23 7:05:10	18

	"Have you made any plans for Christmas yet?" 17/09/23 11:01:12	18

	clever "Quick we need to get across the border before Trump is elected" 06/03/24 8:08:06	2 17
Mexico will be a better place to live if he is. --Barrie Bullock
	creative "They had run out of Christmas trees" said Dave 11/12/23 8:28:24	17

	“Was the Police all you could think of for something blue” 15/09/23 11:08:53	1 17
She blue it. --Willie Johnson
	“Hmm she is a captioneer and my name is Dave this is not going to end well “ 09/09/23 19:06:58	1 17

	lol "Are you sure that is all you have left?" said Dave at 10 PM on his Christmas Eve present buying spree. 04/12/24 8:05:12	16

	lol “When you said it was an 18-30 holiday I thought you meant age not year “ said Dave 30/08/24 11:10:51	16

	lol “ The wedding reception starts at 5.00 this Saturday so you will just need to cover for 90 minutes unless there’s extra time “ said Dave 03/07/24 11:28:21, suggested edits	1 16

	Dave liked to start easy with his ransom demands 03/09/23 19:02:50, edited: 03/09/23 19:03:09	16

	Dave knew he would find a way to enjoy the James Blunt concert with his girlfriend 13/06/23 7:10:10	16

	clever Sir Persilval 20/11/24 20:01:32, edited: 20/11/24 20:02:24	15

	“I did say I thought those Taylor Swift tickets were fake “ said Dave 23/06/24 11:05:13	15

	"Bloody hell Dave you were supposed to remove the hanger before sending her out" 08/06/24 11:02:28	15

	"I told you we would get a carriage to ourselves" said Sally 05/03/24 8:11:41	15

	creative Edward always won 04/01/24 20:05:02	1 15

	" Okay I have removed the c,a,p,t keys just the i,o,n,.,m and e to go. Hopefully you should then get your life back " 09/11/23 8:10:17	1 15
"No! No! otherwise without it I might realise that I had no life beforehand. I couldn't survive without top.cinema" --Glyn Evans
	“Please can you remove your tanks as they give me terrible wind “ said the shark 06/03/25 12:01:40	14

	“Bloody hell Hadrian’s been busy “ 03/12/24 12:02:05	14

	Rishi Sunak's school dormitory. 04/07/24 11:06:42, edited: 04/07/24 12:41:16, suggested edits	14

	“Of course it’s my anus and can you stop groping it “ said Sally 16/01/24 12:02:30	14

	lol “Joseph can you please tell those 3 wise men to sod off” 25/12/23 12:10:41	14

	“Any update on when the plumber is coming to fix the toilet?” 25/07/23 11:41:53	14

	Meating place 21/07/23 7:03:54	14

	clever "I remember him when he was still green behind the ears" said Dave 26/02/25 8:10:24, edited: 26/02/25 8:10:55	13

	“Dave you do realise you can reset the facial recognition on your phone “ 01/10/24 11:01:24	13

	lol "Why couldn't you have robbed JD Sports in the riots like everyone else " said Sue 28/08/24 19:02:48	13

	lol "Quick before the delivery guy realises he has delivered to the wrong house" said Dave 29/06/24 7:07:36	13

	In space no one can hear you cream 19/06/24 7:03:56	1 13

	"You saw ME buying a cucumber that size" 03/03/23 8:03:06	13

	The Albanian Job 08/03/25 8:05:47	12

	Biker Grove 21/01/25 8:00:42	12

	lol “Even I can see it’s a bloody tiger “ 14/09/24 19:39:33	12

	Men behaving balletly 25/04/24 7:00:58	12

	Bungle always felt a right tit being on Rainbow 28/02/24 12:15:21	3 12
That's a left tit, just sayin'. --Karen McDonald
	Bloody hell 25p for The Sun 19/02/24 20:03:43	12

	"I think I may have crabs" said Sue "it's a lot worse than that" said sally 06/02/24 8:03:15, edited: 06/02/24 8:03:33	12

	Kay FC 12/01/24 8:03:00	12

	Barnsley 2040 30/11/23 12:01:23	12

	Dave always attracted the clingy types 04/11/23 20:09:14	12

	Doctor said it’s a repetitive strain injury 13/10/23 11:00:53	12

	Even the dogs realised you only needed to dress your top half when on zoom meetings 27/05/23 7:18:55	12

	Aristocat 22/05/23 7:03:34	12

	lol Mittens was ready to deal with the Tory local election literature coming through the door 09/04/23 7:18:38	12

	“I can’t understand why you are worried about getting NHS hearing aids “ said Dave Sat 12:46:30	11

	It must be a female raccoon as the lid is down 12/12/24 20:09:17	11

	Tie breaker 09/12/24 12:01:17	11

	“Next stop Trafalgar Square “ 31/10/24 12:01:18	11

	lol Dave was surprised by the message he found in his condom packet 04/10/24 19:02:29	11

	“Dave did you forget to leave the refuse collectors their Christmas tip again?” Said Davina 18/06/24 19:07:40	11

	Snappy dresser 14/01/24 20:07:36	11

	Full bodied red wine 21/12/23 12:02:47	11

	Dave never was any good at hide and seek 26/08/23 11:02:31	11

	Dave could not understand the big deal about money laundering 15/07/23 7:04:37	11

	The fabric shop had said the cloth was end of line but Claire didn't realise they meant Jubilee Line 13/05/23 7:05:20	11

	Turns out Jan only wanted the matching t-shirt back 11/03/23 8:05:56	11

	“Are you sure this is the only charging point around here “ said Dave 15/01/25 8:03:22	10

	“Keep searching to find out why he voted for Trump “ 07/12/24 20:02:56	1 10
You're going to have to move the probe a lot lower. --Scrijjy Doo
	Dave liked to find ways to hide that he was a vampire 11/09/24 7:39:56	10

	Wet dreams 23/08/24 7:04:07	10

	“Do I still smell of garlic?” 24/07/24 11:03:28	10

	"I think the cat knows we are off to Mexico and wants to come with us " said Dave 06/03/24 8:23:40	10

	"I spent too much time scratching my head as to where to go on holiday " said Dave 24/01/24 8:11:19	10

	Cast of has beans 07/01/24 20:01:08	10

	Beesy Rider 03/12/23 12:03:54	10

	Costs an arm and a leg 04/10/23 11:03:26	10

	lol Dave couldn’t fully commit to being in a ZZ Top tribute band 09/09/23 11:49:22	10

	“Granny why are there no earlier family pictures on your sideboard?” 22/07/23 11:12:10, edited: 22/07/23 11:12:34	10

	EasyJet are now offering seats for those customers suffering from claustrophobia 14/07/23 11:08:23	10

	"The person who uses the last dish needs to do all the washing up" 30/05/23 16:00:58, edited: 30/05/23 16:04:25	10

	"What you left your phone at home some date this is going to be" 03/05/23 7:02:24	10

	Should have gone to pecsavers 23/04/23 7:21:56, edited: 23/04/23 7:22:36	10

	" I kept telling her she was too heavy for a parachute and an accident would happen one day" said Daisy 15/03/25 8:02:59	9

	"We're getting out as it's too bloody scary in there" 09/02/25 8:02:57	9

	“Another What’sApe message “ 18/01/25 12:02:06, edited: 18/01/25 12:02:16	9

	“You won’t believe how difficult it was finding a baby sitter on New Year’s Eve “ said Dave 06/12/24 20:06:35	1 9
Glad your mum was available then --Tony S
	Crocodile fears 30/11/24 20:01:19	9

	How all the Beatles saw Abbey Road before the picture was taken 17/10/24 7:01:57	9

	Peru Got Talent always struggled for entrants 13/07/24 12:01:52	9

	Dave was feeling a bit sluggish 02/05/24 7:04:43, edited: 02/05/24 7:04:57	9

	"Alas poor Yorick. That gives me an idea I must get back to the typewriter" 23/04/24 11:02:10, edited: 23/04/24 11:04:05	9

	"I'm flattered but you know I'm older than 16" 06/01/24 8:06:11	9

	“Sorry but the baby sitter cancelled at the last minute “ 05/01/24 20:03:17, suggested edits	9

	"Do you think I need to call the AA" "Perhaps I do need to sober up first" 10/11/23 20:04:22	9

	"What do you think?" "I think it's called an engine" 10/11/23 20:01:04	9

more captions

best earliest latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 142)

captions