captions

	lol x3 "For the last time Nan thats the electric bread knife." 20/02/23 20:17:07, edited: 20/02/23 20:17:52	1 31
I wondered why I kept getting cut off. --Neil Mackenzie
	lol x2 creative x2 clever I name this ship Titanic. Excuse me sir why are you dressed as a woman? Just a feeling. 08/04/21 11:16:05	24 31
Thanks for all your comments it really is appreciated although I must confess I did use words from 18 other captions and just put them together in this order so I guess it belongs to all of you really. --Tony S

lol clever x2 01/06/24 11:05:36, edited: 03/07/24 23:27:41		17 30
Brilliant caption. Spend it on your 2.4 children. --C CaMel
	lol I'm glad to see the 3 December winners didn't waste their prize money. 03/01/23 20:18:43	1 29
Who's who? --Glyn Evans

lol 28/02/24 20:51:13, edited: 02/04/24 9:37:34		21 28
Thanks all and big shock as not been on much recently (that thing called family getting in the way.) I shall now as a tribute go and buy some flowers the the mother in laws grave. --Tony S
	clever Waiting list slashed as NHS introduce drive through Gynecology Clinic. 13/07/22 7:01:44	28


lol clever 16/06/22 7:07:13		15 27
Squeezed out of first place and not quite stinking rich. Well done all the same, Tony! --Al Overy
	"We may need some more handcuffs." 29/12/24 12:07:19	26

	clever "What's the delay to kick off ?" "We are playing the centipedes and it takes them forever to get their boots on." 17/01/24 20:04:00	26

	Masterchef refuse to address the elephant in the room. 05/12/24 12:11:23	25

	"How do I get out of this?" 12/11/23 12:03:00	1 25
"You can't, I made sure of that!" 😁 --Glyn Evans
	"Sorry sir ,hand luggage only." 31/03/23 7:22:24	24

	clever Monastery of sound. 30/03/22 11:50:56	24

	clever I'm afraid he may be bran dead. 27/11/24 12:18:12	23

	lol That's the last time we Invite Basil Brush onto pro celebrity golf. 31/10/23 23:03:13	23

	I think it's ON upside down. 28/05/23 7:06:26	1 23
Is it not on back to front? --Mr Dome
	creative When your dad gets married to a Mermaid and you have to share a room with her kid. 23/03/23 12:08:30	1 23

	It was on the A la carte menu. 15/11/22 8:05:23	23

	I've been asked to do one on Monday with a crown. 14/09/22 11:09:10	23

	lol It got worse when the manager pulled him off at half time. 09/04/21 19:18:47	23

	Aliens arrive on earth looking for Jobs. 07/10/24 19:10:11	22

	lol clever "If we don't stop messing around Noah said he is going to lock the portholes on his Ark." 22/01/23 8:34:21	22


lol clever 22/01/22 8:26:34		20 22
Having not been able to take part over the last few days it was a massive supprise to come back to this. I must say I have become a massive fan of the 3 day voting period pushing Vivvy En and her superb caption into February :) . It will explain ... --Tony S
	Water Raleigh. 09/02/25 20:02:00	21

	"My turn." 10/06/23 11:01:55	21

	lol x2 creative "Don't worry love the twins are fine." 03/10/22 11:12:21	1 21
Haven't got any bonus votes to give you, but this is very creative and funny! --Kate B
	I got this to attack my worst enemy with but before I could unwrap it I found out he had been found dead , suffocated with a bag over his head. 11/02/22 8:13:13	21

	lol "Before we can dig you out Mrs Jones can you let go of your dog's lead." 11/05/21 7:08:43	21

	It's always a dilemma who to save from a burning building first, but I think you should have started with the children. 20/02/25 8:09:00, edited: 20/02/25 12:04:21, suggested edits	1 20

	creative x2 "Don't worry love I shall get you out of here it's not right to keep a woman in a cage ." 12/07/24 11:04:59	20

	lol Does nobody ever tidy this bloody house it's February. 03/02/24 8:08:24	20

	Cargo pants. 28/01/24 20:10:53	20

	"I can accept you getting him a set of dentures Dave but I'm not happy about the tongue piercing. " 16/09/23 11:15:36	20

	Please don't return me to Jan I'm not lost I'm looking for June she is so much hotter. 11/03/23 8:24:29	20

	Reports that The Simpsons cast members were caught stealing in Iran. 11/02/23 12:04:02	20

	"I told you Rudolph's red nose was more serious than just a common cold." 08/02/25 12:14:27	19

	clever I told you not to try and milk it. 09/01/25 20:03:11	2 19
That would be taking the bull by the horn --John Llamas
	She was fired for gloss misconduct. 06/01/25 12:11:37	19

	lol "Why would you ask if I fell asleep baby sitting your kids ?" 07/09/24 7:48:16	2 19
My kids were doing stuff like that at 3 months. --Karen McDonald
	"I had better go and change. Being captain of the Titanic I don't want to do anything to embarrass myself." 25/04/24 7:26:56	19

	creative "Moses, wait for us!" 08/04/24 19:02:24, edited: 08/04/24 19:08:05, suggested edits	19

	creative "OK, eat the red one and see how long that takes to come out." 03/11/23 20:06:58, edited: 04/11/23 18:59:57, suggested edits	19

	Dave found transitioning to a woman hard work and was particularly surprised how heavy the breast implants were. 15/09/23 7:11:11	19

	creative It's my most terrifying time at the theme park . Getting myself caught in the zip. 23/09/22 7:11:01, edited: 23/09/22 7:11:28	19

	lol x2 I'm going to write a caption and not going to give a vote. 27/08/22 19:27:40	19

	clever x3 "Do you think she will notice the fake snow dear?" "No but she will notice the fake reindeer. " 22/07/22 7:12:18	2 19
If you have to use puns in a caption, this is the way to do it. It's really very clever. --James Lennox
	"Our daughter will be devastated if you take the cat she found back. Do you have any proof it's yours Mr Hitler.?" 08/07/22 11:14:39	2 19
"Call me Der Furrer." --Scrijjy Doo
	clever Congratulations the 3 of you on your camouflage, Dave you still have some work to do though. 29/04/22 7:18:19	3 19
How did I miss this one? Sorry Tony. Something tells me this one will do ok though. --Willie Johnson
	You know it's dangerous when even the lighthouse has a shocked expression on its face. 24/03/22 8:01:11	2 19
Apostrophe police - 'its dangerous' should read 'it's dangerous'. --Dot Old
	lol x2 I give up where has he hid the baby? 11/09/21 19:06:10	1 19
For that matter, I think cats would fit in very well with this room. --Willie Johnson
	clever All the swans have got their heads stuck in the feeders again Bob. 02/05/21 19:25:24	2 19
It's pea green. --Willie Johnson
	lol Tell the vet she can have her leg back when I get my balls back. 25/03/21 20:28:23	19

	clever An infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters can rewrite Shakespeares work but 4 monkeys 1 laptop and 10 minutes can reproduce a Katie Price Autobiography 21/03/21 8:04:06	19

	"For f@cks sake stop giving him CPR . You know that now makes me King and you the queen," 22/01/25 12:27:47	18

	A girl will bend over backwards for a guy who will tie the knot. 09/12/24 12:02:18	18

	I think they are horrible repulsive creatures but my wife wanted to have kids. 09/11/24 20:04:35	18

	"Why have you stopped ?" "The little green man is flashing ." 17/09/24 19:20:04	18

	creative Now there's an organisation I can get behind , Just Stop Dancing On Ice. 03/11/23 8:11:22, edited: 03/11/23 19:57:15, suggested edits	18

	lol "Ahhh it's Persil , no we won't be going back to our old washing powder." 22/07/22 19:42:31	2 18

	lol "Play louder I can still hear them trying to make another baby." 16/01/22 20:28:59	18

	lol x2 "Don't let your mum catch you looking at those white women with their tits covered." 14/01/22 8:07:54	18

	lol "Oh f@ck ,could my day get any worse?" "Brace yourself Barry the bull is taking a run up." 10/12/21 8:10:20	1 18
Maybe that will get her the rest of the way over. --Willie Johnson
	lol "I'm in the grand prix officer." "Typical trying to play the race card." 29/06/21 19:07:11	18

	Why did you get fired from your air traffic control Job ? 08/03/25 12:11:06	17

	Most of the people in our street are odd. 01/09/24 11:34:11	1 17

	Have you been letting the Princess of Wales take your photo again ? 14/03/24 12:06:43	1 17
Sir Ian McKellen doesn't object to being touched up. --Troompa Loompa
	"Mum says she wants her swimming costume back." 02/03/24 8:22:30	17

	Coming home to find my husband like this was really disturbing . It is only July after all. 21/07/23 19:19:55	17

	"Hide me quick the I'm a celebrity crew have run out of kangaroo testicles." 29/04/23 7:06:30	17

	clever x2 Desert island disc. 21/02/23 20:22:12	17

	lol "Ooh ooh ohh." "Sorry are my hands cold?" 16/06/22 11:18:59	17

	"Let's go and supprise your sister and see how she is getting on at University." 26/01/22 12:04:17	17

	"OK which one of you put Viagra in Barry's cocoa the undertakers now can't shut the coffin lid." 22/01/22 20:47:15	1 17

	"Maybe you should have waited to see who was a match as your kidney doner before giving the t-shirts Dave." 31/12/21 20:27:50	1 17
Kidney kebabs? --James Lennox
	When I said put the heating on.. 16/12/21 20:14:00	17

	It's good to get all your kids round for Christmas. 09/12/21 8:07:19	1 17
Who's that big kid on the left? --Willie Johnson
	Blood sweet and tiers. 17/09/21 7:01:06	17

	"I kept popping out like that then they had me castrated. " 30/06/21 7:02:34	17

	"Congratulations sir , excuse me if I don't shake your hand." 07/06/21 19:16:59	17

	lol Tim's gestures have lost some impact since he had his middle finger amputated 11/02/21 20:41:03	2 17
I wouldn't recommend it, that's how he lost it in the first place. Superglue's no joke, especially with a serial supergluer on the loose. --Glyn Evans
	I have a sign like that on my bed with a full calendar of dates. 01/03/25 12:02:31	16

	lol The council need to fill in these pot holes. 09/02/25 20:00:51	16

	I don't care about the tree but why did you have to paint a garden fence on the carpet? 20/01/25 8:32:26	16

	For a hot sunny day when you are roasting. 15/09/24 11:06:33	1 16

	creative If that caption wins the £50 I'm giving up. 02/07/24 19:31:06	16

	"Go from 2nd to 3rd,then ease to 4th , now a high 5." 03/03/24 8:08:50	16

	For the stairs we make the bread with plain flour for the escalator we use self raising. 14/09/23 19:08:32	1 16
And for bungalow we make the flatbread. --Karen McDonald
	The Nutty Professor. 17/07/23 19:11:02	16

	Careful, when he wants a drink he schnaps. 04/02/23 20:41:54, edited: 04/02/23 20:42:06	16

	"The prisoners are at it again Sir." "Find me the ring leader." 29/01/23 20:11:48	16

	clever Star Wars fans preferred C3PO to R2D2 in general. 07/10/22 7:17:10	16

	The Uk looks back enviously on the wealth and prosperity of the 70s 01/09/22 19:09:42	16

	creative The Pharaoh Rocher is served. 28/08/22 11:32:54	16

	"It's the only way I can stop it crossing the road." 15/07/22 11:03:18	1 16

	The dad arrested for taking his child out on an electric scooter was later released with no charge. 21/01/22 20:27:46	1 16
He doesn't even have charge of his own kid. --Willie Johnson
	I'm not saying Lord Snootingdon has a large estate but when he tells his dog to fetch his slippers.... 03/12/21 20:18:25	16

	clever "So what's the situation with the kid stuck in the vending machine?" "No change." 11/09/21 7:31:13	16

	And Weight Watchers slimmer of the year award goes to... 03/04/21 11:03:33	16

	Just do it I can't Just press the bloody thing I know I should but I can't do it Just do it But the vote will knock my caption off the top. 30/03/21 19:32:27	16

	lol After the serious acting roles dried up Skippys decline into porn films was a sad sight. 22/01/21 8:03:28	16

more captions

best earliest latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 380)

captions