	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	6684	9648	#28
Photos
Comments	3	201	129	#49
Forum Posts		12

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	24746	#6
Photos	560	#35
Comments	48	#60
Forum Posts

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	creative The Pristine Chapel. 02/07/14 7:00:20	23

	lol x3 "For the last time, will you stop playing those bloody drums!" 31/03/16 14:07:53	22

	Pupcakes 11/09/15 19:00:09	5 22
It's a fantastic caption. I'm just unhappy that I didn't think of it (self-flagellation with a thorny branch now begins..) --AXE
	lol creative Lymphomaniac. 13/06/14 12:28:16	2 21
Love it, one of those 'I wish I'd thought of that one' moments. --John Glover
	creative "Yes Doctor, I've cut down to one cigarette a day." 15/04/14 19:00:29	20

	No wonder there was a Wall Street crash. 31/01/14 8:54:21	20

	lol x2 The Queen's Passing Out Parade 17/04/16 11:00:12	19

	Sealfie 01/10/15 7:00:08	19

	lol x2 OK, that dentist has definitely gone too far this time. 22/09/15 19:00:06	19

	creative Ministry of Silly Hawks 28/09/14 20:52:57	19

	No wonder Darth Vader always sounded out of breath. 03/08/14 19:00:18	19

	lol "Gran, we want to take you on a little trip to Switzerland. What do you think?" 01/06/14 11:00:07	19

	lol A ginger pussy, a pole and two fat cows...reminds me of my stag night. 17/06/13 11:05:04	19

	Going by the size of her flaps, she's not a Virgin. 26/02/14 14:39:26	18

	lol creative Say what you like about Gaddafi, but he did produce a nice line of novelty bottle openers. 17/12/13 20:06:35	18

	Are you a man or a mouse? 10/03/13 8:22:10	18

	lol Even while off duty, Trevor the Traffic Warden was determined to give the bastard a ticket. 26/08/15 11:00:17	18

	lol x2 "What's that Skippy? You've been shot by an American dentist?" 11/08/15 19:00:06	18

	🎵 This is pound control to Major Tom 🎵 18/02/16 8:00:06	2 17
Nope. --[anon]
	lol x2 "Holy smoke Batman, if only there was some sign to guide us to where the Joker is hiding." 22/05/13 11:20:27	17

	"Mr Twotter, this phone you sold me is borrocks!" 23/04/13 11:05:38	17

	Is it twenty tu-tu? 29/10/15 20:00:06	16

	clever "Bloody dog. Why couldn't it dig in someone else's garden?" complained Fred West. 26/10/14 13:18:09	1 16
That was my favourite ever episode of Scooby Doo. --Michael Winner
	I don't know whether to eat it or wear it to Ascot. 22/03/14 12:11:28	1 16
I'll eat my hat. --Michael Monkhouse
	That's a nasty head wound. I've got some cream for that. 29/12/13 8:21:03	16

	lol "It's no use. I can't do it with that David Attenborough watching." 15/11/13 9:26:03	16

	lol x2 "When I asked you to wear smart jackets..." 10/11/13 20:09:58	4 16
Great caption! I gave you a LOL SUPER VOTE for this.For some reason my name and the vote has not registered, so it may be worth letting Chris Beach know there is an issue hereand perhaps he has a way of adding the votes to your s... --Zac Kramer
	Nightwear on Elm Tree 03/02/13 20:08:39	16

	Scientists spot a slight flaw in their Invisibility Research program. 21/09/14 19:00:07	15

	"OK guys," said Jesus. "Which one of you has put LSD in the f*cking wine again?!" 08/09/14 7:00:06	1 15
I suppose that would stand for Last Supper Delusions... --Chris Moorhead
	The Islamic version of Mrs Doubtfire required considerably less make-up. (RIP Robin) 12/08/14 7:21:55	15

	creative "I'm going to sioux that hairdresser." 21/06/14 7:00:06	15

	Flaming hell, how hard were you masturbating? 05/05/14 19:00:20	2 15
Ha ha! The ranch owner fired one of his hands for doing that! --Zac Kramer
	I think you dropped your cigarette love. And set fire to the hillside by the look of it. 11/06/13 19:02:49	15

	creative x2 Alas, Geppetto died before he could finish work on Pinocchio's girlfriend. 11/05/13 12:30:30	15

	And I thought Jesus was against women getting stoned. 24/03/13 14:13:51	1 15
Love it. --Michael Monkhouse
	"Right Mrs Smith," said the vet. "What first alerted you to the fact your dog had lost his sense of smell?" 19/09/15 7:05:35	15

	lol clever David Attenborough watches the silverback from a respectful distance. 08/06/16 19:00:21	14

	"Never mind the coffee. Where's my bloody cornflakes?" 27/11/15 15:20:50	14

	Five hours after they set up the roadblock, police are still waiting for The Modfather to appear. 14/10/14 19:00:06	14

	Posh Spice taking a selfie. 21/09/14 19:00:18	14

	Domestic abuse. 10/09/14 14:01:04	14

	Peter Porker 15/08/14 7:00:07	14

	creative x2 Match of the Bay. 16/07/14 19:00:06	14

	Boris Johnson's latest love child is a bit of a surprise. 28/04/14 11:00:07	14

	David Attenborough: "There is evidence that these previously shy creatures are getting boulder." 04/02/14 8:52:53	14

	Paula Radcliffe's children are a bit more discreet than their mother when it comes to their runs. 30/01/14 12:09:47	2 14
Does that make the one on the left a toilet duck? --Mark England
	lol Pope Benedict announces his resignation in an unusual manner. 11/02/13 13:37:03	2 14
A perfect caption, probably one of my all time favourites. Simply brilliant! --Guideaux
	Superman badly misjudged his landing. 11/11/12 8:53:58	14

	All hands on deck. 17/08/14 19:00:06	13

	Brogues gallery. 11/08/14 7:00:07	13

	And that is how Clarence became cross-eyed. 06/07/14 11:14:01	13

	My-Tea Mouse. 05/07/14 11:00:07	13

	lol No wonder it's half price, it doesn't look anything like Demi Moore. 26/06/14 11:00:09	13

	Diving Boardeaux. 26/03/14 20:03:35	13

	That must be John Thaw's side. 23/02/14 13:48:55	13

	creative The reason these hitchhikers were never picked up? They didn't know how to spell 'SLOUGH'. 28/11/13 20:18:12	13

	And the prize for the wurst photo goes to... 08/11/13 12:04:35	1 13

	Lymphomaniacs. 11/05/13 19:01:29	13

	Crumb Scene Investigation 27/02/13 20:29:56	13

	The Eastenders Christmas special was as low-key and cheerful as usual. 11/12/12 9:44:36	13

	lol "Needs some cream," said Gregg Wallace in the novelty dessert section of the Masterchef final. 03/05/16 12:56:51	1 12
Brilliant! --Michael Winner
	Church Belles 08/01/16 8:00:15	1 12
That appeals to me. --Pete
	Pier pressure 13/09/15 11:00:37	12

	🎵 Holding back the ears 🎵 04/09/15 7:00:09	1 12

	Just for a change, the congregation flash the priest. 04/08/15 11:00:06	12

	creative "No Nellie, this isn't a good time to trumpety-trump." 28/07/15 19:00:41	12

	"Bloody kids drive me up the wall!" 08/08/14 19:00:30	12

	"Quick! Call a sturgeon!" 23/07/14 19:00:44	12

	Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's just a Fathers for Justice bloke pissed again. 19/06/14 7:00:19	12

	Never again would George make the mistake of asking Mildred for a 55 inch plasma telly to watch the World Cup on. 19/05/14 7:00:06	1 12
Ha ha! Must be George, and Mildred Roper? :) --Zac Kramer
	A bad case of vandruff. 30/04/14 11:00:07	12

	KITT is getting quite old, needing extra blankets and a catheter. 30/01/14 8:05:11	12

	"Here clitty, clitty, clitty." 10/01/14 20:04:37	12

	lol Eat, drink and be buried. 22/11/13 14:53:56	12

	He's not fat, he just happens to be wearing everything he owns, on his way to board a Ryanair flight with no luggage. 19/10/13 20:12:38	12

	The garden gnomes head off to a fancy dress party. 09/07/13 19:01:00	12

	Looks like he's got a bad case of polaroids. 13/06/13 13:12:16	12

	"I'm sorry Mr Huhne, are you seriously telling me an alien was driving when the speed camera flashed you?" 01/03/13 13:53:17	12

	lol "Forget the 72 virgins...this is much more fun." 03/01/13 15:04:16	12

	"I think I packed my passport in a blue one." 08/12/12 14:52:31	12

	Crack dealer. 21/10/12 12:45:50	12

	Bittern's Got Talent 03/06/16 19:00:12	1 11

	lol "Er, President Trump, sir. Which button did you press?" 21/05/16 12:59:17	11

	Dave liked to go with the floe. 04/04/16 7:00:07	11

	She's just got back from the DVD clinic. 20/01/16 12:00:15	3 11
Dr Feelgood diagnosed a case of Eric Clapton. --Pete
	Cat scan. 01/12/15 20:00:21	11

	"You cannot be serious!" 18/09/15 19:00:06	11

	They chute tourists don't they? 15/09/15 11:00:08	1 11
I'm sure there are plenty they would like to. --John Glover
	The special effects for the Jurassic World sequel need a little work. 25/07/15 7:00:23	11

	At this hotel, they really lay out the welcome Matt. 07/09/14 7:02:34	11

	"What do you mean you can't do it while David Attenborough is watching?" 01/09/14 19:00:18	11

	lol Chickens don't just cross the road, they frickin' own it. 27/07/14 19:00:31	4 11
Sorry, I forgot to check, thanks for reminding me :) --Michael Winner
	Palm Olive. 17/07/14 19:01:01	11

	"There isn't enough beer in the world," thought Homer. 21/06/14 19:00:18	11

	Pirates of the Car-I-been-in. 17/06/14 11:00:07	11

	His dad will crucify him for not wearing a helmet. 16/06/14 19:00:06	11

	The gilt was written all over her face. 10/06/14 11:00:09	11

	"Hi, I'm Barry Scott and even Cilit Bang gave up on this pile of crap." 04/06/14 19:06:27	11

	It's not the best waxwork I've ever seen of Tony Curtis. 09/05/14 11:00:17	11

more captions

last comments (total: 186)

I like the idea of captioneers coming up with weekly competition formats, with a vote to decide which one runs next. I've moved this up the todo list

Chris Beach

(admin)

27/10/12
11:19pm

comment on caption:
"Has anyone seen my guide dog? He ran off after my acupuncture session." [Tracy Davidson]

I swear I wrote this before I read the caption below. Wasn't copying, honest!

Tracy Davidson

02/11/12
10:29am

comment on caption:
They went to great lengths to hide the fact the bride had a bushier moustache than the groom. [Tracy Davidson]

#anon
What is really weird Tracy is that it flicked up that you had voted for my caption, then it was detracted. They are very close, leave it and see what happens.

Well, as you can see the anon failed, too late now.