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Photos
Comments	18				342	360	#24
Forum Posts					4
Suggested Edits	6				5	6	#13

	Last Week		All Time
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Captions			14341	#15
Photos			326	#45
Comments			213	#34
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits			5	#12

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	In these times of economic crisis, some men are combining their stag do with their wedding day 04/05/22 11:32:37	6

	"Hello Mrs Hirst, St Swithins School here. I'm just ringing to say that we have some concerns about young Damien's art project" 14/04/22 19:21:11	1 6

	"Look at that sign, what does KFP stand for?" 03/04/22 11:22:39	6

	"HONK!" 14/03/22 20:02:55	6

	"Private Barnes! Stand to Attention!" "I am" 25/02/22 12:50:56	6

	Nookie Bear 02/02/22 8:08:16	6

	"Dave! How could you?" 17/11/21 12:07:17	6

	"Delivery for Anon" "What is it?" "A barrel of laughs" 07/11/21 20:26:03	2 6
How do they know who to send it to? --Willie Johnson
	clever I preferred it when the I.R.A were more subtle 18/10/21 10:59:56	2 6
Is it also true that the IRA secretly fancies the UK's Queen? Is that the reason they always go on about her? --Glyn Evans
	"U.F.O?" "No need to be rude mate" 11/10/21 19:12:31	6

	"Hello. I need to send a package to London ASAP" "We can get it there for the day after next" "The day after next? I was hoping for tomorrow" "WELL FUCKING TAKE IT THERE YOURSELF THEN!" 09/10/21 19:24:15	1 6
"I fucking will then and I'll get it there on fucking time" --Glyn Evans
	"Hello, this is pest control. We've had a look in the attic and I'm afraid it's worse than we thought...You've got Pigs" 13/09/21 11:30:39	6

	"She's never gonna get one in. Just buy her a goldfish" 11/09/21 11:32:51	6

	"Leave me alone you old fruit" 27/08/21 19:02:10	1 6
He's also a nut case. --John Glover
	I'll never forget that Christmas. I got a pencil, a broken laptop, a stuffed cat, a picture of Albert Einstein and a couple of home made pen holders 18/08/21 19:23:41	6

	"Dont move Dave. The snake's escaped again and he's on your shoulder" 08/08/21 19:21:56	6

	"Polly. I was about to post a caption, what have you done?. Phew..you've left enough letters for 'meals on wheels" 09/06/21 11:33:21	1 6

	"Benji, Benji, the man from Del Monte changed his mind. He said yes!.....shit" 30/05/21 19:16:02	6

	Big car, small cock 26/05/21 19:07:50	6

	"Stay calm ladies. They won't touch us, they're man eaters" 25/05/21 11:04:52	6

	"I heard there's a great new bar in town. The Aviary. Me mate said it's full of drunk birds" 19/05/21 7:25:30	6

	"Tomorrow's show will be brought by the letters LSD" 11/05/21 11:01:51	4 6
... and the number 420 --Willie Johnson
	"So let me get this straight. You were washing the dishes, glanced out the window and witnessed an abduction. What exactly happened?" 🎵 A wild green fairy nicked kid 🎵 03/05/21 7:44:00	6

	The hoteliers have recognised that the name "Black Boy Hotel' is very un-PC in these present times and have agreed to change it. The hotel will now be called the 'Black Gender Neutral Hotel' 05/04/21 13:29:25	6

	"Blimey Gino. When I said dress the pasta I meant just add a sprig of Basil" 29/03/21 8:14:10	6

	"He was like one of the family, so when he died we had him stuffed...holding his favourite animal" 24/03/21 13:20:08	6

	"I was trying to do a rabbit but I've made a right arse of it" 24/03/21 8:36:28	6

	"The Albino Straw Snake cunningly waits in empty bottles for it's favourite prey. A thirsty chipmunk.." 04/03/21 20:32:08	6

	"Sorry, but I can't really see a market for a 'Bike Cosy' so for that reason...I'm out" 22/02/21 22:17:25	6

	It was lucky that last night, Sandra had used Veet. Otherwise she could of been caught by the Fuzz 06/01/21 8:54:09	6

	"Ha Ha. The sign in the car park said 'Beware Of Delinquent Squirrels'. Why? What are they gonna do?" 08/09/20 19:15:22	6

	"I can't stand another night of this" thought John Logie Baird, as he sat through Listen With Mother again 07/09/20 11:30:01	6

	"..and apparently their eggs were so tasty that grown men would fight over them, so that's how the Dodo became extinct" 19/08/20 11:31:22	6

	"Look at the personalised number plate. It must be owned by Selfish Bastard" 05/08/20 7:12:25	6

	"I can see the crew. Is that Seamen Staines?" "No, earlier I spilled some yoghurt" 26/06/20 11:24:37	6

	"I wouldn't mind banging that!" 25/06/20 11:02:31	6

	🎵 Talk about Pup Muzik 🎵 20/06/20 20:44:25	6

	I'm guessing Virgin 09/06/20 11:12:29	6

	I wouldn't want to smuggle that! 04/06/20 11:00:40	6

	Emojinal Baggage 26/05/20 9:11:29	6

	The Abominable Showman 25/04/20 19:09:15	6

	"ALAN!" 15/04/20 19:43:02	6

	"You're not wearing it right Jodie. You've got the whole thing arse about face" 11/04/20 7:36:54	6

	The zookeeper had finished feeding the animals in record time. Meanwhile the Chimpanzee surveyed the bicycle pump and thought " How the fuck do I eat this?" 29/03/20 19:15:08	6

	Afrozen 06/03/20 20:08:28	6

	People think it's harmless fun, but unregulated limbo dancing can be really dangerous 03/02/20 12:36:43	6

	"Let's see if it's true. Give Christian Benteke a banjo and see if he can hit one" 01/11/19 8:03:30	6

	Trump, card 13/07/19 19:02:54	6

	"How do you get Pikachu on the back of a truck?" "Pokemon" 17/06/19 7:15:25	6

	I think the cake is off. I had a bit and now I've got a dicky tummy. 07/06/19 20:20:11	6

	It's strange that these vegetables are taking on human form. It's the other way round for me. When I get in the bath, all I see are two Brussel sprouts and a button mushroom! 30/05/19 20:03:07	6

	creative "You want to buy some contraception? I don't think you'll have any need for that, madam" 20/05/19 21:06:21	6

	Cattuccino 17/05/19 11:16:48	6

	"Why did you park there, Doctor?" "Have you ever seen a Dalek climb a ladder?" 11/05/19 20:19:03	6

	"Who's been sitting on my bench? I've spent all morning painting it and now it's ruined" 14/04/19 7:10:38	6

	Ornithologists get excited with news that a pair of African Great Tits have been spotted in Croydon 19/03/19 20:17:49	6

	"Do you sell shorts?" "Yes, we do" "Have you got any in a size 38 waist? My trousers are soaking" 27/02/19 22:04:54	6

	"Blimey Paul, I think you better get the radiation level checked on your fridge" 25/02/19 9:56:02	6

	Don't forget to wash your butt 12/02/19 12:01:36	6

	"....Cameraman engulfed by Avalanche" 19/01/19 20:11:38	6

	"How cruel. First we get dead chickens, then storks trapped in the toilet, then sharks in tea, then cats being forced to fight, then ravens being force fed chips, then bullied pups, then drowning monkeys and now this. Where will it all end?" 24/11/18 21:59:06	1 6
A cow jumping over the moon. --John Glover
	creative This happens every time he burps, sneezes or coughs. He might have won Â£50 for doing it, but Burt now regrets the day when his mates dared him to drink a pint of washing up liquid 07/11/18 12:07:55	6

	Before she got in, Mrs Haigh thought it was out of character for her husband, John, to run her a bath 31/10/18 12:06:51	6

	"Nana. Have you taken your jabs today?" 30/09/18 19:17:07	6

	Ethel took great delight in shouting "BOGOF!" everytime she saw a buy one, get one free offer 23/09/18 7:21:22	1 6
Of course she did, she's completely trolleyed. --Crunchy Chords
	"I'm in the wrong place" thought the Wimpy kid 06/08/18 8:19:51	6

	"I don't care if it goes extinct. It's my ark and it's not coming on" exclaimed Noah 27/07/18 11:28:01	6

	Training cats and dogs 23/06/18 12:47:25	6

	"I am never gonna be respectable" sang Melon Kim 21/06/18 7:27:50	6

	Just lately, Jane's obsession with wacky jewellery had really snowballed 07/06/18 20:18:06	6

	...or we will turf you out 26/04/18 19:25:10	6

	"You know the horse that you backed for the National" "Yes, what about it?" "Have you seen the state of its jockey?" 07/04/18 19:06:34	6

	"No, it's Iron....I. R. O. N....I'm Iron Man, not Ironing Man. Now take that ironing board away before I do something I regret" 18/03/18 9:48:09	6

	Sour Krauts 12/03/18 20:13:23	6

	"I knew it. I should never have let you talk me into opening a car showroom in Liverpool " 15/02/18 12:37:18	6

	"So..is it the Ladies or Gents?" 12/02/18 12:19:46	6

	"..and the suite comes with a pouffe" 23/01/18 20:42:19	6

	"Buckle my shoe" 15/11/17 20:42:58	6

	clever Stare Railings 27/10/17 12:36:49	6

	It was romantic that they met in Afghanistan on duty in the army, but spending days crossing minefields has had a damaging effect 27/09/17 7:38:03	6

	"Remember the good old days. 3 hot meals a day, a hot shower every night, relaxing in front of the TV...Boy, I do miss prison" 09/09/17 11:16:13	6

	I've had the misfortune of sitting through the Hackney Hamateur Dramatics Society's adaptation of Alien vs Predator 16/08/17 8:05:27	6

	lol Collie-Wobbles 16/07/17 12:17:19	6

	"How does this loom work? Bloody newfangled gadgets" 02/06/17 20:00:55	6

	The roadside sign said HEAVY PLANT CROSSING. Colin thought that he would help it along 29/05/17 11:35:00	6

	That's your best one yet, Bernie Clifton 16/05/17 11:08:31	6

	creative It was proving more difficult than he thought. To earn his Boy Scout 'Helpful' badge, John was told to "just help an old dear cross the road" 08/05/17 11:26:11	6

	Don't you hate it when you put a wash on, anÄ there always seems to be a missing sock? It doesn't bother Ken. 09/04/17 7:36:14	6

	Toilet Duck 29/03/17 19:39:34	6

	When the flour factory exploded at The Magic Roundabout, Dougal was now known as McDougall 14/03/17 9:03:42	6

	lol "OOH OOH AAH AHH" "Well I told you not to touch the camp stove. It's still hot" 03/03/17 12:36:18	2 6
Cheers Pussy. I must confess though, that I nicked it from an old joke about a monkey getting into a hot bath. x --Mark England
	"HAROLD!" "You dirty old man" 02/03/17 12:40:44	6

	lol "I wish I had a puncture repair kit" "Yuk, you dirty git" "What?...No..No, for the tyre on the wheelchair" 02/03/17 12:19:07	6

	creative x2 You have to laugh at the world and their strange customs. Here's Reykjavik's annual "Stick Jelly Babies to a Squid' day 25/02/17 9:08:59	1 6
I'm a sucker for a surreal caption. --Pussy Galore
	Kute Klux Klan 10/02/17 12:05:10	6

	Why is everyone acting so casual? Can't they see the tsunami thundering towards them? 09/02/17 12:41:10	6

	"Now where's that Old Oak Tree?..Whoaaa...SHIT!" 04/02/17 21:28:06	6

	"You see all sorts of flowers on a country walk. Bluebells, Daffodils, Foxgloves...Oh look, there's a Crap Dragon.." 27/01/17 12:07:08	2 6
Scrapdragon --Troompa Loompa
	"Err..No thanks...have you any Virgin phones?" 26/01/17 12:08:08	6

	"Ok Sonia. We know that you came 5th in the Long Jump at the Seoul Olympics...It's getting boring now" 14/12/16 21:06:23	1 6
Would she be doing a bit of Northern Seoul perhaps? --Mr Dome

more captions

last comments (total: 578)

Thanks, James

(caption author)

27/06/24
7:57am

comment on caption:
"Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?" [Mark England]

Probably not many, that would wipe the spider out straight away!

01/07/24
11:16am

comment on caption:
"Blimey, Dave. There's more humane ways to kill a spider" [Mark England]

That's surely not a cider monkey?

NotAsFunnyAsYourMum

08/08/24
11:19am

comment on caption:
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" [Mark England]

Monkey Shine?

Scrijjy Doo

08/08/24
2:03pm

comment on caption:
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" [Mark England]

Yes. That's better, Kathleen. Thanks

(caption author)

23/08/24
7:11pm

comment on caption:
8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys [Mark England]

If you've ever seen Year of the Rabbit, Joseph Merrick's a theatrical diva and a party animal 🥳

Glyn Evans

19/09/24
11:41am

comment on caption:
"I'm not an animal. I'm a human being" Coming to cinemas soon: The Giraffe Woman [Mark England]

That's a really clever caption, it shows the power of love.

One day, I hope my daughter will grow up to be a hunger striker and dirty protester

That would make me so proud 🥲

Glyn Evans

18/10/24
3:49pm