best earliest latest latest and best captions

Booby Trap

30/09/23 7:06:34

creative x5

Step, Toe & Sun

12/03/14 12:37:33

lol x3

Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold.

30/07/13 11:21:55

lol x3

"You spoil that bloody bat!"

27/04/20 11:12:35

lol clever x2

"Have you been mis-sold PPE?'

03/04/20 7:09:53

lol x2 creative

'Been up since 4.am. Got a brilliant caption for the 8 a.m photo but I think it's gonna be a bit obvious. There's bound to be other captioneers thinking the same thing. I know, cut and paste. Oh five seconds to go. Finger hovering over add caption button...4..3 ..2 ZZZZZZZ '

02/05/19 7:16:05

clever x2

Pros and Cons

21/10/16 11:54:20

Bruised Wayne

18/09/12 19:10:56

lol x2

"Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?"

26/06/24 11:10:15, edited: 26/06/24 11:15:21

lol

"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit"

24/06/19 19:30:04

lol

Never try to leave a barbers without paying

01/07/21 11:19:39

lol x3 creative

In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses

23/01/17 20:16:38

lol creative x2

Cuepid

27/08/13 19:01:41

"The journey was so slow. It kept stopping at every lamp-post"

01/03/24 12:03:31

lol x2

"Trek 300 miles across the plains in search of water? Fuck that I've just got a flight for £4.99 on Ryanair. Lands 10 minutes from the watering hole"

15/01/24 12:28:36

lol

The Scottish version of Knight Rider had a car called KILT.

06/11/23 8:12:43

lol creative

"OK, I agree, people shouldn't pollute the sea with rubbish and plastic but you have to admit... this polystyrene has come in handy"

30/09/21 19:52:45

lol

Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg

08/09/21 11:15:15

lol creative x2

Police arrange an identity parade for a woman who claims that she was being watched through a keyhole of a swimming pool changing room

22/10/18 19:44:22

It's situated in a close knit community

15/02/17 20:06:24

Booby Trapped

24/11/23 8:09:50

lol

"I swear if I catch you swinging past my daughter's bedroom again I'll...."

30/09/23 11:02:06, edited: 02/10/23 11:45:50, suggested edits

lol

"John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?"

13/09/23 19:03:13

clever x3

No one is talking about the elephant in the room

30/05/22 7:44:43

Even mutes can get Tourettes

18/05/21 11:17:50

Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise

22/05/20 11:12:57

"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.."

30/06/19 11:05:59

"All I did was order a pint of cider"

02/04/16 19:05:57

Lavish

06/05/23 7:00:54

clever

"Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign.

17/02/23 8:05:41

clever x2

"Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?"

"Miaow"

28/06/21 11:39:48

lol clever

The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel

13/04/21 19:45:32

"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves"

08/07/20 7:25:57

Air Raid Sirens

05/05/20 19:11:08

creative

Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything!

22/03/18 12:09:42

lol x2

"My nose is running"
"So is the fucking groom.... DAVE!"

24/11/13 20:20:38

"Take me to your weeder"

19/09/12 7:01:41

Like a Wine Stoned Cowboy

06/09/12 11:10:26

8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys

23/08/24 19:03:33, edited: 23/08/24 19:10:23, suggested edits

"I'm fed up with this. Can't we just buy a lemon squeezer?"

11/06/24 19:03:36, edited: 11/06/24 19:04:45

Dave Laboured away putting up his Christmas decorations, while Tracy was a bit more Conservative

07/01/24 12:09:11

Thinks "These humans must be vicious, they're all muzzled"

18/10/23 19:05:54

lol x2 creative

"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel"

26/08/23 11:09:32

lol

"Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea"

07/09/21 7:14:09

lol

"You're smiling now but you'll regret getting them done when you're older" remarked his dad with his Tandy, Blockbuster Video, Rumbelows, Do It All, Texas, and Woolworths tattoos.

27/02/21 20:39:51

It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit

07/07/20 7:03:05

lol

"Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?"

30/04/20 7:27:16

lol

Some Paralympic events simply do not work

09/04/20 7:35:58

lol

"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse"

16/08/19 11:04:54

"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'"

19/09/18 7:53:27

clever

They lead up to A Flat

07/02/17 12:13:01

lol

"I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy"

10/05/15 11:16:55

"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night"

05/04/15 11:00:58

lol x2

"Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears"

11/07/14 20:00:38

Gerbal Tea

05/07/14 11:19:27

"Run Forrest Run"

24/03/14 20:16:35

George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team

26/01/14 10:37:47

Raveheart

05/10/12 11:08:49

"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1"
Pie rates of the Caribbean

29/08/12 11:52:52

Walkies with dinosaurs

25/04/14 11:07:08

Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats

31/08/12 11:14:25

Only pools and horses

28/08/12 11:44:28

clever

He snuffed it

30/10/24 12:00:38

"What a dilemma" thought Dave. Sitting there with his Arachnophobia, a carton of milk, a spoon and a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

25/05/24 7:17:26, suggested edits

lol x2

Even though he was sweating his nuts off in the dog suit, Dave would do anything to avoid paying the train fare.

18/10/23 19:02:35

Filly O Fish

18/10/23 11:09:48

Fanny By Gaslight

05/01/23 8:23:00

"...and no funny business"

13/09/21 7:05:29

Water Canon

07/07/21 11:22:43

"It might look cute, but the "African Pygmy Piranha Dog' just takes 30 seconds to take down and skin an adult zebra.."

21/08/20 11:09:41

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts shot up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon

17/08/20 7:54:46

lol

"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian"

19/08/19 8:37:25

lol

"You spoil that bloody hamster"

30/03/19 8:06:50

Isle of Nan TT

28/08/18 11:07:39

lol

Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune.

07/02/15 20:29:27

clever

🎵 It's such a purrfect day...

25/09/24 19:08:26

I've always wondered how she gets that parting in her hair.

13/09/24 11:09:42

lol x2

Most people are surprised when they see the inner workings of a robot

15/08/24 11:17:30

lol

"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning"

08/08/24 11:07:13, edited: 08/08/24 11:09:00

Talk about flogging a dead horse

17/04/24 11:01:41

clever

🎵 Tiers on my pillow

25/02/24 20:03:31

...and that morning his poor little daughter got into trouble for going to school with bullets, a service rifle and a Swiss Army knife.

25/07/23 19:29:09

That black masking tape is gonna hurt when they pull it off.

26/06/23 11:03:32

You think that's big? Look at the size of the Brussel Sprouts behind her

18/02/23 12:09:40

lol

I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech

11/07/22 11:07:35

lol

"Sir, do you mind running through it again?"

22/06/21 11:05:16

"Blimey your dog is reading that book. That's amazing"
"Not really, he's supposed to be studying for his police exam"

28/05/21 11:17:19

The lower sign is for constipated bats

08/04/21 7:08:47

creative

Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers

20/01/21 8:26:26

creative

"The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked"

01/12/20 11:28:19

clever

Con Heir

23/03/20 20:02:36

Sealicone implants

13/03/20 20:08:04

lol

"So how will I recognise you?"

24/11/19 21:01:22

"Well, I told you not to pull its tail"

16/11/17 20:27:03

Blob the Builder

03/10/17 19:00:51

lol

"Don't roll your eyes at me"

27/08/17 19:08:24

lol x2

"You spoil that bloody Dingo"

01/04/15 20:51:15

clever x2

Japanory

25/09/14 11:05:16

creative x2

After successfully choreographing the Y.M.C.A dance, the dancers found that D.I.V.O.R.C.E by Tammy Wynette was harder to master.

15/05/14 19:24:32