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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 43 | 43 | 59 | #4 | 40 | 54 | #7 | 9150 | 16137 | #18 |
| Comments | 19 | 1 | 2 | #2 | 1 | 1 | #3 | 214 | 332 | #28 |
| Suggested Edits | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| Photos | 10 | 41 | #16 | |||||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 27 | #15 | 33 | #12 | 7518 | #33 |
| Comments | 1 | #2 | 258 | #30 | ||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | #1 | 12 | #7 | ||
| Photos | 68 | #85 | ||||
captions
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07/02/24 20:02:25, edited: 08/02/24 11:12:40, |
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Aha, so maybe I still could have used the one about a man wishing to give a big breasted chick a good ploughing ... darn ;) --James Lennox
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“…Elizabeth usually only counts to 20?” 06/08/24 20:02:40 |
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Thank you for the comments and I’m really happy to have won. This will not help with my caption.me addiction! Thanks to Chris for such a great site and thanks for all of the laughs everyone has given me over the years. --C CaMel
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Horoscope:'Taurus will enter Uranus.' 22/07/18 8:45:58 |
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Do you mean Horrorscope? --Dave Bryan
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I've never finished a diet either. 11/06/19 20:00:49 |
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Had a similar idea but I decided to vastly over complicate mine and yours reads much better! Great Caption :) --The Wolf
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"The toothbrush behind the sink was massive but I managed" 11/05/18 17:23:33 |
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Thanks to Chris for the prize and thank you all for the kind comments! Biggest thanks to the poor bloke in the photo!Cheers all :D --C CaMel
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30/12/23 9:03:08, |
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04/11/21 8:08:24 |
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C CaMel has very kindly donated his November cash prize back to caption.me and suggested we run a Christmas bonus prize for the 2021 “one that got away.”So, please --Chris Beach
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15/07/23 8:13:59 |
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The Statue of David is now in Florence. 21/04/20 8:04:16 |
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Allow 12 hours to fully charge. 20/04/20 12:03:20 |
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12/11/12 12:07:39 |
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“Why are so many pages missing?” 26/09/24 12:04:33 |
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Apologies, C C, missed voting on this pic. Have made amends in the Contributor round. --James Lennox
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“When you switched off her life support but she pulls through and finds out.” 26/11/23 8:01:55 |
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13/08/19 20:43:44 |
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'live from the paper plane crash, as it unfolds.' 19/01/19 20:19:53 |
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Testing practices criticised at Pampers. 19/03/24 12:08:13 |
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“I’m just saying of all the places to put the stick…” 10/01/24 20:25:21 |
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“What alerted you to the fact the pilot might have been drinking?” 31/12/23 8:18:12 |
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“BMW driver, just hand washed it, you know what to do.” 19/12/23 8:00:57 |
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23/10/23 12:02:35 |
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“Can you believe it, 9 life sentences.” 05/09/23 12:01:16 |
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11/03/21 12:10:27 |
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I don't mind really, was just making mischief. Was hoping you'd offer to upgrade your vote to a "clever" to keep it as "r". 🙃 --Troompa Loompa
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21/03/24 11:46:23 |
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“During mating season the male will search for a female that is presenting.” 28/02/24 12:35:58 |
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“When your employer is really glad you’re leaving.” 27/02/24 8:05:25 |
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“What’s the password?” 10/01/24 8:04:44 |
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“When you go and give blood with your brother and it gets competitive.” 10/12/23 20:03:14 |
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“We do rotating shifts at the car wash.” 10/03/23 8:13:39 |
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28/04/21 20:37:01 |
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Congrats, C CaMel! Order something nice for yourself online! But, maybe don't use FedEx for the shipping....:^)-Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
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"Attention, this vehicle is versing!" 22/09/17 20:24:42 |
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Hi All, totally chuffed to be picked! Thank you to Chris for a brilliant site and to all fellow captioneers for the hilarious captions which keep me coming back for more! --C CaMel
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'I'll have the salad, I've been eating shit lately' 22/10/16 20:04:29 |
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lol man --sandeep chahal
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“That email’s still doing the rounds.” 06/05/24 12:21:41 |
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“Are you saying you want to split the bill?” 01/04/24 12:09:57 |
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“I think a few men may have gone there before.” 12/03/24 12:06:18 |
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“Guys, when I said put me down….” 02/12/23 8:05:30 |
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When your parents run the scout group. 30/10/23 8:10:48 |
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Global warming blamed for cancellation of Disney on Ice. 21/08/23 13:00:24 |
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Everyone knows that Global Warming will happen one day because Mickey will loose control of those bucket carrying brooms again. However it won't be a flooded castle basement this time. --Glyn Evans
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It’s a nightmare when they fall out. 03/02/23 8:26:01 |
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"Sausage and egg McMuffin, no egg, and no muffin." 28/11/20 8:32:51 |
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This is similar to what I ask for but they don't seem to understand what I mean when I say "Can you hold the sausage?" --Karyn Harrison
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28/06/19 8:21:50 |
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"I can hardly walk in these eels!" 01/06/18 8:09:09 |
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07/06/24 12:09:38 |
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“We do a tortoise one but delivery takes a lot longer.” 07/04/24 12:04:19 |
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"I won't be shelling out for one of those." --Karyn Harrison
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“To make matters worse I’ve just found out my boyfriend’s a pouffe.” 13/02/24 8:10:51 |
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18/12/23 20:02:10 |
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Experienced idiot seeks village. 16/11/23 12:23:53 |
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Don't tell anybody, but I only use the same 26 letters to write my captions. No other letters, just a different order. --Willie Johnson
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“Our Amazon driver has left your ‘Self Inflato-Mary’ in a hidden location outside your property.” 28/07/23 8:08:15 |
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“Were there any signs your 4 year old was planning to run away?” 30/03/23 12:18:22, edited: 30/03/23 12:26:32 |
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“If he could see how loved his work is now Vincent would be grinning from ear to bandage.” 20/01/22 20:55:13 |
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“Have you had a haircut that wasn’t your fault?” 04/01/22 12:00:49 |
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"Guys I've got this brilliant idea, it's called The Dead Michael Palin Sketch." 14/04/20 8:51:39 |
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At least it's being appreciated now, Anon. Always look on the bright side of life. --Dave Bryan
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06/01/19 16:11:04 |
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13/05/18 20:09:48 |
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Shortly after she started going downhill fast 17/10/16 13:50:48 |
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What a refreshing moment....A captioneer That votes as well as submitting captions, is topping the top ten xxx You get my vote for fair play xxxx --Andrea Hickling
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12/11/12 12:04:44 |
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29/09/24 8:38:50 |
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04/09/24 12:04:34 |
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Critics divided over redesign of Google homepage. 27/12/23 20:44:04 |
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“We also do a pigeon but that’s more of a carrier bag.” 30/06/23 20:20:20 |
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And a vulture for carry-on luggage. --James Lennox
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28/02/22 12:02:10 |
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06/02/22 11:30:38 |
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“There must be another door, after the hand dryer goes off there’s no one in there…” 11/01/22 13:10:13 |
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And they've pissed all over the floor! --Mark Wilson
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“We need new mugs, there’s a little nick in this one.” 15/12/21 8:25:37 |
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"Tickets were twenty quid each but let's party like it's £19.99" 19/11/20 12:43:50 |
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That's a Princely sum. --Karyn Harrison
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18/09/20 11:06:49 |
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"Sorry for squinting, sons in my eyes." 03/07/20 20:05:12 |
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"I'm not really a big drinker." 13/08/18 20:13:54 |
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I think we need more understatement at this site: YOURS is a wonderful example, (and very dry). --Greg Curtis
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11/06/24 12:05:50 |
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“…. You do not have to lay anything but anything you do lay…” 30/01/24 12:12:34 |
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“Bumping into your parents on holiday is bad enough…” 04/12/23 8:03:22 |
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29/11/23 12:04:58 |
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When you’re 37 minutes into your new diet and already hallucinating. 26/11/23 20:07:03 |
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“Name two things you couldn’t get when you were 16.” 24/11/23 20:25:44 |
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06/08/23 8:01:56 |
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Her body was discovered in a Subway. 13/12/22 22:49:05 |
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“So how much of the house is yours following the divorce?” 23/11/21 8:12:35 |
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Break it to him gently that his husband owns the recycling bin as well. He can stay there for the time being until he can find somewhere better. --Glyn Evans
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"I don't think Nan has much confidence in your crossbow skills " 23/06/21 12:10:23 |
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It's not so much the crossbow as he's cross-eyed. --Willie Johnson
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09/04/20 9:34:32 |
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02/04/20 20:09:44 |
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She refused to let her weave past 24/02/18 12:22:20 |
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29/09/17 20:02:17 |
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Perhaps he's too hoarse. --John Glover
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16/11/16 21:37:18 |
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Good caption but what about 'Scribbling Rivalry' ? --Smuldo
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“Dad was a workaholic but we saw him every 6 months.” 30/07/24 12:02:56 |
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“Forget Elmo, Cookie Monster’s been blue for years.” 08/07/24 15:51:30 |
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22/04/24 8:02:57 |
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“You can take the steering lock off the bagels now too.” 12/03/24 8:29:34 |
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“I knew we should’ve read the small print on those donor cards.” 19/12/23 23:35:33 |
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17/12/23 12:04:41 |
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Pirelli-phant? --Willie Johnson
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“I wish they’d shown me what the virgins looked like before I blew myself up….” 05/12/23 8:42:03, edited: 05/12/23 11:25:40 |
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04/12/23 12:00:26 |
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10/10/23 12:05:00 |
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17/09/23 8:06:22 |
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Cool bit of wordplay this. Nice one. :) --The Wolf
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24/08/23 12:53:23 |
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Glazer: It’ll be £100 but you’ll need a special coating which will be £350. 25/05/23 20:07:05 |
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‘Although there was some blood the paramedics found a strong pulse.’ 14/04/23 20:48:56 |
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27/03/23 8:01:39 |
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Please give up your seat for middle age passengers. 26/03/23 12:30:26 |
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23/02/23 8:01:19 |
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Gardeners of the galaxy? --KimJong Pun
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“One Sausage and Egg McMuffin, no egg, no muffin.” 14/10/22 12:04:43 |
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In the interest of "honesty" I should say that this is an old vote of mine I've reused here. --Willie Johnson
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“No wonder his cheeks are red.” 06/12/21 8:45:57 |
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suggested edits
email us
My sister lost aperitif.
8:37am
comment on caption:
“My parents left me like this and also desserted my brother.” [C CaMel]
Been on Amazon and can't find this. Please share the link. Tks.
11:59am
comment on caption:
“Our Amazon driver has left your ‘Self Inflato-Mary’ in a hidden location outside your property.” [C CaMel]
Lol
12:06pm
comment on caption:
“Our Amazon driver has left your ‘Self Inflato-Mary’ in a hidden location outside your property.” [C CaMel]
🎵 Oh the boy he could boogie. Oh the boy can kick a ball.
Oh the boy he got hung up, making love against the wall.
You've got to give a little love to those who love to live.....🎵
(Thin Lizzy, from "Fighting" album.)
7:26pm
comment on caption:
NHS apologise for pouring away George Best urine sample. [C CaMel]
Sorry Cap Auth, it was going to be a Lol but found out I only had 1 Supervote left
11:18pm
comment on caption:
“Seems impressive until you realise most of the elderly gentlemen have eaten their own King and have no idea who they are.” [C CaMel]
Don’t apologise, thanks!
11:22pm
comment on caption:
“Seems impressive until you realise most of the elderly gentlemen have eaten their own King and have no idea who they are.” [C CaMel]
Stool sample, HA HA! I have worked in the doctor' office for years and have not encountered anything like this... HA HA!
WHAT do you people eat?
8:56pm
comment on caption:
Mr Davies, thank you for providing the stool sample, please pop in to see us ASAP. [C CaMel]
You could change Walters to Wayne. Different joke, but...
EDIT, woops, ignore that, I see a similar theme has been used now.
8:15am
comment on caption:
“The good news Mr Walters is that you’re a Dad….” [C CaMel]
Great idea, I will leave as is though due to the other caption you mentioned. Thanks
8:55am
comment on caption:
“The good news Mr Walters is that you’re a Dad….” [C CaMel]
Oh, too bad James. Doesn't it suck when you've already posted something and it turns out to be a wasted comment or caption?
(ooops...)
8:36pm
comment on caption:
“The good news Mr Walters is that you’re a Dad….” [C CaMel]