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Revenge is a dish best served cold.

29/06/20 20:01:05

"He's dead? Oh dear, lettuce pray.."

25/06/20 20:17:32

"Tell Billy I'll give him a wring later"

23/06/20 11:03:15

"Shall I bring it in? It's bone dry."

17/06/20 11:31:40

"I'm afraid it's curtains for your sex life."

16/06/20 7:00:37

"You're always looking at my primate parts."

11/06/20 11:04:36

I'm not exactly sure how chocolate biscuits walk..?

08/06/20 7:04:06

"Look, I am your lather"

30/05/20 11:14:11

"Nice box"

30/05/20 8:28:31

"Well it makes a nice change from forever blowing Bubbles."

19/05/20 8:00:46

"Yeah, that's me after falling at Bleacher's Brook."

16/05/20 19:01:06

"Could I pass anyone a brownie?"

15/05/20 19:00:55

Sorry, school buses aren't running.

13/05/20 8:19:49

"On closer inspection I think this was during the Cold War."

05/05/20 19:05:33

Sooty's American girlfriend, Peggy Soo

04/05/20 17:12:21

Blog on the Landscape

03/05/20 19:40:19

"What's that you're reading?"
"50 Shades of Greyhound."

03/05/20 7:01:33

Catweazle takes pride in his appearance.

01/05/20 7:02:29

Hall & Oats

28/04/20 7:10:58

Well hung with nice balls.

27/04/20 11:17:10

Stop your babbling.

27/04/20 7:10:29

Aster la vista, baby

22/04/20 11:00:07

So far there's no trace of him.

16/04/20 11:07:54

Harry P. Otter and the Philosopher's Stoats

15/04/20 21:32:46

"You look scared stiff!"
"I've just seen Glenn Close."

12/04/20 19:31:09

Now that the pubs are closed, he can only go out for the bear necessities.

06/04/20 19:18:17

"Damn, I need another coat"

02/04/20 11:00:16

Looks blooming awful!

01/04/20 19:19:59

"Damn, no toilet paper again."
"Abandon shit!"

29/03/20 11:29:06

The cat's got his tongue.

22/03/20 20:03:15

"He's always had come to bed eyes"

21/03/20 20:00:20

Losing teams offered emotional support pets.

19/03/20 21:12:44

The Cats Protection League

19/03/20 20:00:27

"Oh no! Months without Granny letting me have whatever I want?!"

15/03/20 20:01:33

It's probably down to paw hygiene.

14/03/20 21:05:30

Ruff justice

14/03/20 20:14:26

I don't think wearing a mask did him much good.

12/03/20 20:47:52

Crime rates soar in Llandudno.

12/03/20 8:00:10

Suddenly she's flavour of the month.

07/03/20 8:22:59

Decked chair

04/03/20 20:00:12

"And now it's time for the rundown of this week's Top 10 Commandments."

03/03/20 20:54:29

Some Motherf*ckers Do 'Ave 'Em

02/03/20 20:50:19

The Cock of Gibraltar

25/02/20 12:45:44

"He never did understand the rules of cricket."

23/02/20 20:00:59

"Can you please pick me up? My boyfriend dumped me in the lay-by."

16/02/20 8:36:45

"This tastes divine."

15/02/20 20:13:10

"Why aren't they cooking us?"
"Maybe they've got bigger fish to fry."

13/02/20 8:25:18

I just wish she'd leave the Quavers alone.

06/02/20 20:15:12

"I wish you'd shave off that stupid beard."
"I can't help it, I'm menopausal."

06/02/20 8:14:59

🎵 His milkshake brings all the girls to the yard 🎵

02/02/20 20:00:33

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the Sugar Plum fairest of them all?"

01/02/20 9:17:00

My other car is a Vulva

31/01/20 20:08:15

"I think I'm suffering from acid reflux"

30/01/20 12:01:40

"And you'll need to surrender your Nationwide passbook."
Elvis has left the Building Society.

27/01/20 8:49:13

Beware of large rampaging labradors.

20/01/20 20:00:29

Shopping List

Glacier Mints
Snowballs
Flakes
Iced Gems

17/01/20 8:00:33

"You'll have to use a rubber."

16/01/20 8:04:24

This picture has floored me.

14/01/20 12:02:34

Frayed Bentos

02/01/20 8:11:20

Turd world problems.

31/12/19 13:02:42

Bitchfest at Tiffany's

29/12/19 8:03:22

Black Angus

28/12/19 8:05:11

"So, do I get the job?"
"Yes, Yule do."

24/12/19 8:03:34

Santa's insurance is a little cheaper now he's had a dasher cam fitted.

23/12/19 13:17:19

Poor George suddenly realised what was meant by a cold snap.

23/12/19 8:16:59

It's very difficult to make a joke out of fork handles..

18/12/19 8:09:28

Locals rubberneck as a cart heading south loses its wheel.

09/12/19 14:41:00

"Excuse me, where's the glove compartment?"

07/12/19 12:04:42

There's always somebody up for a pub crawl.

04/12/19 12:18:00

"Sorry mate, it's too hot to wear a jumper."

03/12/19 20:01:10

Flaming Nora

02/12/19 20:16:03

School's not out just yet..

02/12/19 20:00:42

He's now part of the Daisy chain gang.

29/11/19 12:42:09

"Wow, he's dishy"

24/11/19 20:00:27

Toys Я Gross

21/11/19 12:13:31

Beast from the Yeast

20/11/19 12:03:09

Femur Pitch

20/11/19 8:05:38

Toyz n the Hood

14/11/19 20:28:36

"I've got mine on speed dial."

14/11/19 13:54:29

Minutes later they clashed with an orange tank.

12/11/19 20:13:04

Bible bashers

10/11/19 20:00:11

Police suspect Phaal play.

08/11/19 21:09:53

I thought men were from Mars..

03/11/19 20:32:44

Crowds gather to watch the Giant Gay Pride Conker Championships.
(Gulliver is hot favourite.)

02/11/19 8:16:46

ET tu, Brute?

25/10/19 7:14:45

Easter Dubonnet

21/10/19 11:23:11

If it's raining, I wear my iMac.

19/10/19 11:03:51

Dave wondered if it was the strange woman sitting on his knee who had stolen his mouth organ.

15/10/19 7:28:38

"Does a bear knit in the woods?"

13/10/19 19:03:02

That mashed potato's got a couple of lumps in it.

13/10/19 7:16:00

"Shoe!"

10/10/19 7:24:10

This belongs to the sweet tooth fairy.

07/10/19 10:57:51

"No you can't have another bloody Cornetto"

04/10/19 19:05:37

This was after my wife caught me with a laptop dancer.

04/10/19 7:33:38

My cat's gone off these. She's going through the Menopaws.

02/10/19 11:04:15

"They didn't have any baa mitzvah cards."

02/10/19 7:08:59

I used to find pictures like this quite moving.

01/10/19 7:26:53

Police are still taking notes.

27/09/19 11:20:19

"How can we get it off the car, Elton?"
"I could try tickling the ivories."

26/09/19 7:22:39

The Chewdors

24/09/19 7:01:20