best earliest latest latest and best captions

"Stop pushing the stool, John."

03/11/23 20:26:50

"We are out of this world funeral directors."

23/10/23 19:33:39

Squatties

21/10/23 19:43:27

It's a funghi infection according to Dr Oetker

17/10/23 11:54:54

"When the waiter delivered this, quite frankly, I was up in arms!"

12/10/23 21:04:44

"...and now the latest Cation.me news: Whiskers has confirmed that he has never received any help from Dave Bryan."

02/10/23 19:20:03, edited: 02/10/23 19:46:21

Conniving Miss Daisy

23/09/23 20:38:02

🎵 Old McDonald's farm's shut down G M, G M, O 🎵

13/09/23 14:31:13, edited: 13/09/23 14:31:36

"Bloody awful racquet, Ethel."
"Sorry, can't seem to stop coughing."

10/09/23 14:32:02, edited: 10/09/23 16:28:27

"I wish you hadn't told Garfield there was a new Italian restaurant in town."

01/09/23 7:07:54

"I say, Doreen, don't you think it would be frightfully good fun to kick the brat in front's chair?"

28/08/23 11:16:55

He said he couldn't find a guitar that would make a big enough impression, yeti did.

27/08/23 11:20:42

Having been turning the heating up during the day when they're at work Kitty destroys the energy bill.

26/08/23 19:56:36

"Here at Dave's Bespoke Furnishings we can provide orthopedic seating built into a 3-piece suite. No family member need feel excluded due to their special needs and can join their family on the settee. Call Dave today."

25/08/23 11:42:09

The grin reaper

20/08/23 11:17:06

Horses for Corsas

13/08/23 19:29:31

'OMG! They're turning the park into a high-rise tower block.'

19/07/23 7:27:44

Scientists confirm that high levels of estrogen in freshwater lakes are affecting aquatic organisms.

11/05/23 7:33:13

It's fart deco era

06/05/23 7:10:08

"God, these Venetian jobs are shit. It was much easier leaving hair on those vertical blinds."

04/05/23 12:39:01

It was a tough match but she was no pussover.

01/05/23 19:53:19

And little Jimmy made a packet selling moisturizing cream to the red guy.

21/04/23 7:27:02

"It looks like it's small fry again tonight, Bruce."

19/04/23 19:00:21

"Listen, you fool, I couldn't carry a monster tyre there, could I? It would block the rear view."

17/04/23 7:32:58

Extreme climate change hasn't altered the Aussie culture

12/04/23 19:01:22

"Dave, stop playing with your food."

27/03/23 7:48:04

Gib's son

22/03/23 12:18:37

"Ivy, do you ever feel like you're living in a goldfish bowl?

03/03/23 8:03:19

Don't forget for every trip 'Clunk click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click'

02/03/23 12:26:58, edited: 02/03/23 12:27:36

"Your liquorice stick, Mr Gulliver."

26/02/23 8:02:11

"Ahh, at last, somewhere to soak my hemorrhoids."

19/02/23 8:04:47

"Pedal faster, Dave. We ARE gonna catch that cat!"

12/02/23 8:00:41

Perfect for smuggling in a pickaxe

10/02/23 8:11:37

"SUBTLE...I asked for 'subtle highlights'"

07/02/23 8:44:48

Only last week she was on the gravy train

03/02/23 12:08:15

"Hurry up and take the picture, Dad... Chop chop."

26/01/23 12:35:18

clever

Don't think I'll bother. I've already got one.

15/01/23 14:18:45

"Bloody good stuff that Daz."

13/01/23 20:25:39

"Helloooo Glastonbury!"

11/01/23 15:50:41

"I no longer need that nail file I asked for."

10/01/23 12:03:00

Covid cases sent packing.

06/01/23 16:17:20

Bottoms down!

10/12/22 8:05:03

They're not Adam's apples... Now they're Dave's.

03/12/22 16:07:30

*Whispers* "You're my favourite"

27/11/22 8:01:09

Me and my little brother Chuck.

25/11/22 12:23:38

They're enjoying playing with their meat 'n' two veg

16/11/22 12:09:21

"Dave, my paws are freezing. Can we go inside now and write a caption?"

07/11/22 8:26:13

Out of Order - Needs springs

28/10/22 7:41:26

Book for sale - fair condition, bit tattie

27/10/22 7:06:23

"Isn't it quiet in here today?"

11/10/22 8:37:39

Tree's a crowd

05/10/22 19:52:26

"You'd try to duck if you saw one of Gulliver's golf balls hurtling towards you."

24/09/22 7:14:16

"Aw, Leslie, you've got to admit it's a good likeness," muttered amateur painter, Lee Chapman.

02/09/22 19:20:50

Tommy Teen is vitamin-lean
He's riddled with rickets and scurvy
He's lost all his teeth and I'll be brief
He'll end up blobby and curvy

02/09/22 11:38:52

clever

'I feel like a tit sat here,' thought Fido.

27/08/22 12:00:34, edited: 27/08/22 12:20:37

"...AND DON'T IMPERSONATE ME AGAIN!"

18/08/22 19:07:21

"There's a war on, Millicent. Concentrate on looking after the child and NOT making yourself a concertina."

14/08/22 19:11:35

Christopher Robin grew up to be such an annoying git

13/08/22 15:03:53

Such polite captioneers. You know it's rude to comment on a lady's moustache.

11/08/22 7:20:53

"You're such a wimp, why've I always got to deal with the spid-"

10/08/22 19:41:33

The giraffes were disappointed that there wasn't a 66 inch leg.

04/08/22 7:27:24, edited: 04/08/22 7:33:01

They are really into each other

01/08/22 19:32:17

Same old dried shite every morning. NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM. Gone.

30/07/22 7:17:07

She settled into married life and became a
🎵 Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon

27/07/22 19:55:02

She was a blushing bride alright... She blushed orange, yellow, pink, red and green.

27/07/22 19:01:10

"Don't touch! It's been laced."
"Yeah, corset has."

23/07/22 13:23:57

"Custard creams, Boris? You used to be a Jammie Dodger type."

20/07/22 7:19:34

🎵 It's my party and he'll fly if I want him to 🎵

14/07/22 7:14:56

"Dave, that's not what we meant when we said 'wear army camouflage'."

23/06/22 7:34:22

Cease fire! He's unarmed.

23/06/22 7:27:30

"'Ornate Garden Lampposts'...that's so thoughtful of you, Sharon. Wait! We still get to go 'walkies', right?"

22/06/22 11:26:48

Where's that blinking cat?

22/06/22 7:59:35

"How grotesque! Horrid 1950's sideboard."

19/06/22 7:08:12

"So I guess you're not pleased to see me then?"

07/06/22 7:01:07

"It's your turn to read him a story, he loves Kafka."

24/05/22 7:36:43

Convenience food

23/05/22 12:09:10

"Oh yeah, I love a king-size."
"Thanks, babe."
"I meant the bed."

14/05/22 14:04:14

"Sugar, I think it's time we took Mittens to see the vet."

10/05/22 7:12:48

The Trying Scotsman

30/04/22 12:05:56

SH!T! I've just peed up Butch the Rottweiler's favourite tree and here he comes...

24/04/22 8:07:17

I'll put that one out among the pigeons.

22/04/22 13:10:54

Tom fondly remembers his old mum saying 'You are what you eat'.

18/04/22 19:09:21

"I was going to knit her some bootees but instead I think I'll make her a hat."

17/04/22 7:52:11

'I was going to wear that'

05/04/22 11:00:41

He needs cheering up - anyone got a custard pie?

29/03/22 11:23:21

"Why would you want to go in there, Dave, when you've got me?"

29/03/22 8:17:28

"Me old mam used to say: 'Skelly, you'll never be considered handsome, but son, you can always be clean'."

24/03/22 12:26:47

"Thanks, I'll have a Liebfraumilch."

15/03/22 20:03:21

It's excellent for weaving in and out of traffic

09/03/22 13:36:04

"OMG! You're right. Sharon's dating the vet...Hide!"

07/03/22 21:04:19

🎵 I've got a lovely lunch of coconuts 🎵

23/02/22 12:50:14

🎵 ...and IIIIIIIEEEEEEEIIIIIIII will always HATE you ooooooooooo 🎵

16/02/22 12:34:26

🎵 Baby you can't drive my car 🎵

14/02/22 12:21:29

"Hahaha, very entertaining, lads. How many loaves of bread did you say it would cost us? Worth every slice."

11/02/22 20:17:42

Meanwhile, the musicians were in the kitchen making din dins.

09/02/22 13:07:11

"...and DON'T let me catch you piddling up my favourite tree again!"

08/02/22 20:20:07

'I wanted a yellow one'

08/02/22 8:22:37

"It's a good job I answered it, Dad, it's the chauffeur. He says I've got my skirt stuck in my knickers."

29/01/22 15:52:57

No-one lives there. It had to be evacuated.

25/01/22 20:08:43

"Anyone fancy a game of Twister?"

22/01/22 22:15:32