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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	63	24	35	#10	46	116	#2	13962	33624	#4
Comments	14	5	4	#3	5	4	#3	1455	1692	#4
Suggested Edits	2							7	6	#11
Photos
Forum Posts								13

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	31	#7	47	#5	14130	#16
Comments	2	#5	1	#7	1205	#7
Suggested Edits	1	#1			21	#3
Photos			2	#5	681	#29
Forum Posts

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	Now the funnel have to stop. 13/10/23 11:07:42	18

	But you will often find 'Blackpool' written in rock. 02/10/23 7:55:38, edited: 02/10/23 7:57:15	18

	Although Dave was an experienced photographer, he was still having problems with overexposure. 23/05/23 11:01:19	18

	creative ''A male streaker has just ran onto the pitch, Mildred.'' ''I can't see anything.'' ''What do you expect in this weather?'' 10/04/23 7:21:35	18

	SPORT: BREAKING In a bid to increase their wages, professional female bowlers have begun a series of strikes. 10/01/23 8:02:21	18

	creative Perhaps our American captioneer can explain this vehicle. Is it a boxcar, Willie? 02/01/23 8:08:45	1 18

	lol ''Stand to attention. Form two straight lines. Move when I tell you to move.'' ''They may know the grill, Sarge, but you'll never make soldiers out of them.'' 03/11/22 12:30:52, edited: 03/11/22 12:41:33	18

	clever ''What's that noise, darling?'' ''It'll probably be those bloody kids from next door climbing on the roof again.'' 04/10/22 7:41:43	18

	After a lifetime of hard work he's urned it. 16/11/21 8:01:24	18

	A prize to die for 16/11/21 8:00:13	18

	clever 🎵 Ground control to minor Tom 🎵 12/08/21 11:06:47	18

	''There's something wrong with the clutch.'' 26/05/21 19:09:48	5 18
Looks more like the eggshaust. --John Glover
	clever ''I should keep two metres away from her. She may be a carrier pigeon.'' 17/01/21 9:05:07	18

	''Shit! It's frozen.'' 02/10/20 7:12:13	18

	BREAKING NEWS: Shergar found at Chester Zoo. He had me fooled claims zebra keeper. 17/08/20 19:23:38	18

	lol creative 🎵 Don't Stand So Close To Me 🎵 06/07/20 7:34:47	1 18

	clever x3 ''This isn't fair. We agreed to start the battle this afternoon.'' ''Too bad, Ethelred.'' 05/04/20 8:05:50	1 18

	lol Pen pusher 24/07/19 7:00:10	1 18
The pen is mightier than the sheared. :^) --Crunchy Chords
	Bedridden 18/09/24 7:07:46	17

	''When rocket assisted wheelchairs were first introduced nobody thought they would take off.'' 05/09/24 7:06:34	17

	''I'm just having a byte to eat.'' 19/08/24 7:15:23	17

	lol ''This should get the Germans off the sunbeds.'' 07/08/24 11:06:55, edited: 07/08/24 11:10:54	17

	Robert Plant and Kate Bush 23/06/24 7:10:07	17

	WARNING Drink responsibly. Too many cans can give you the puns. 07/04/24 7:07:54	17

	Business Class 06/01/24 20:04:13, edited: 06/01/24 20:11:14	17

	''I love these Gala apples.'' ''I prefer Granny Smith.'' ''You're too late. Bruno ate her yesterday.'' 24/12/23 8:44:24	17

	BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS Edvard Munch 23/12/23 12:47:16	17

	clever Baking Bad 25/09/23 19:03:59	1 17

	''Don't jump, you've just got a vote.'' 19/09/23 19:12:55	17

	Nobody was surprised by her dress. Rumours had been circulating for a long time that she had something in the oven. 14/08/23 7:11:17	1 17
I'd like to make a complaint. 9 months is too long to wait for delivery.[Edit- Nod 8:18:46, just seen] --James Lennox
	The Baralympics 04/05/23 7:06:22	17

	''I always buy big Tesco cucumbers. My husband has only got a Lidl one.'' 18/02/23 12:11:25	17

	Light ale 18/02/23 8:00:17	17

	''You aren't going to believe this, Rover. Two German Shepherds have nicked our sunbeds.'' 29/09/22 7:04:58	17

	''You may now give the bride a kiss on the lips or, if you prefer, a peck on the cheek.'' 18/07/22 7:03:23	17

	''Joe has been the head gardener here for many years.'' 19/06/22 11:02:36	1 17
It keeps him in trim. --John Glover
	''This kind of behaviour in public doesn't bother me. I just turn a blind eye to it.'' 04/05/22 19:11:54	1 17

	''There used to be nine members of staff until I let one go.'' 15/11/21 20:01:57	17

	''Oh no! There's a leek in his nappy.'' 10/09/21 19:07:48	1 17
"Did you take a leek, or are you just happy to see me?" --Willie Johnson
	clever ''How did Polly get out of her cage?'' ''She used the escape key.'' 09/06/21 11:24:46	2 17
But she ended back where she started when she hit return. --Willie Johnson
	clever ''I can't understand why you worry so much about pandemics. We're always the first to get the vaccine.'' 06/04/21 11:32:19	4 17
"Your votes are still climbing" - like monkeys. --Willie Johnson
	She works in the intensive scare unit. 31/03/21 7:37:42	17

	creative ''Hurry up. The tooth is killing me.'' 16/03/21 8:01:15	2 17
Only at 2:30. --Molly R
	creative BREAKING NEWS: Daisy's second lunar mission ends in failure. (But the little dog still has a good laugh) 16/02/21 20:02:51	3 17
A moo launch? --Glyn Evans
	Meals On Wheels 14/12/20 8:00:12	17

	''I'm very confident of future growth.'' 26/09/20 11:21:39	17

	lol BREAKING NEWS: Kangaroo leap frog champion suffers setback in first round. 24/08/20 11:08:19	17

	Reese with her spoon 18/12/19 8:27:59	17

	''You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.'' ''Get some glasses.'' 30/10/19 8:16:23	17

	She may be Maiden America but the flag was probably maiden China. 28/07/19 11:14:04	17

	lol IAAF ban South African women's relay team. 03/05/19 19:03:33	17

	Primer donnas 06/09/18 11:13:13	17

	''Since taking anabollic steroids, I've had a new Lisa life.'' 22/08/18 19:46:45	17

	BREAKING NEWS: Chris Beach Arrested In Dawn Raid Our photograph shows the caption site cells where the inmates were forced to churn out puns for up to sixteen hours a day. Many had not seen their families for several years. One poor inmate had gone completely insane: whenever the trolley appeared with his lunch he would rip off all his clothes and start screaming 'Meals on Wheels'. Two dozen cats, three dogs, a cow and a crocodile have been removed from the premises. A police spokesperson stated that although the investigation is ongoing, they won't be looking into anything out of respect for the captioneers. 11/09/24 11:55:58, edited: 13/09/24 7:10:00, suggested edits	2 16
No probs, Cap Auth. It's impossible to write a novel without the odd typo ;) --James Lennox
	Death On The Aisle 14/08/24 11:22:04	16

	CHICAGO RAILWAY STATION ''Excuse me, driver, is this the last train to New York?'' ''It could be.'' 02/07/24 19:24:34	16

	lol clever BREAKING NEWS Humpty Dumpty recovering at home after nasty fall. 27/06/24 11:05:11, edited: 27/06/24 11:17:45	3 16

	🎵 Ghouls just wanna have fun 🎵 06/06/24 7:02:15, edited: 06/06/24 7:02:49	16

	Bread Nose Day 05/06/24 7:14:34	16

	🎵 Singing in the Train 🎵 05/03/24 8:25:14, edited: 05/03/24 8:26:15	16

	Newly Arrived Migrant Speaks Out: ''I must admit I did expect some kind of boat for $10,000.'' 31/01/24 8:22:46, edited: 31/01/24 8:39:16	16

	''That child will go far.'' 19/01/24 8:09:19	16

	The ghost of captions past 02/12/23 8:00:30	16

	Toiletrees 15/11/23 8:02:05	16

	''She died several hours ago, Holmes. Do you suspect foil play?'' 09/05/23 19:28:42	1 16
Alumentary... --Peter Houle
	''Can he do any other tricks?'' ''Yes, he can make food disappear.'' 26/04/23 11:31:49	16

	The Beached Boys 20/04/23 11:02:19, edited: 20/04/23 11:16:28	16

	''Don't you find rats a problem?'' ''No, they moved out last month.'' 01/03/23 12:18:01	16

	''She's a nice girl but she can't hold her drink.'' 28/02/23 20:15:03	16

	''Is there anything you miss about Jamaica?'' 30/12/22 12:01:03	16

	''Bloody typical. You go to the toilet and when you get back some wanker has taken your seat.'' 11/12/22 20:08:25, edited: 11/12/22 20:16:31	16

	''Dave usually sits on cans in the kitchen. He doesn't like the draught in the living room.'' 10/12/22 8:18:26, edited: 10/12/22 8:21:30	16

	''Have you got the pot ready? I've spotted Matt Hancock.'' 10/11/22 8:11:59	16

	Forest Dump 04/11/22 20:01:45	16

	''I don't like The Simpsons, dad. What's on the other side?'' 09/10/22 11:32:25	16

	''Can we try somewhere else? I've got a bad feeling about this care home.'' 25/09/22 7:52:30	16

	''It must be a Michelin restaurant.'' 19/09/22 7:06:13	16

	''I don't think you're going to make it as a haidresser, Dave, but I do have a guy here from the village who needs his cottage thatching.'' 18/06/22 7:25:21	16

	''And that's how you work out your caption quota.'' 04/06/22 7:13:51	16

	lol ALARM CLOCK RINGS ''It's twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption?'' 14/05/22 11:00:55	1 16
Been there, done that. --James Lennox
	''Are prostate problems wrecking your confidence when urinating? Do your mates call you The Dribbler? If so, try attaching our new superjet nozzle and you too can pee like a twenty-year-old again. Walk down memory lane and piss over the five-barred gate at the end of it. Send for the superjet nozzle now and get free delivery: Only £299.00 while stocks last. This offer is not available in any shop.'' 18/04/22 7:30:22	16

	🎵 It's my party and I'll lie if I want to 🎵 09/12/21 8:51:27	1 16
Everyone knows that Allegra has goneShe duly wept for her crimeWhy were they holding a bashWith cheese and presents and wine? --Glad You Remember
	''We had to abandon the race. When the greyhounds saw him they wouldn't come out of the traps.'' 29/05/21 7:03:15	2 16
Simple fix: put him behind the greyhounds. --Willie Johnson
	''E = mc2. I've cracked it!'' 21/05/21 19:00:09	16

	''I'm booking you.......for the Inspector's stag do.'' 10/05/21 19:30:05	16

	The captioneers' keep fit group meets every morning at 8.00am. 10/05/21 7:09:10	1 16
Mental gymnastics. --Willie Johnson
	She is obviously not in favour of PC. 09/05/21 7:00:09	16

	clever ''Where are you?'' ''Outside the Black Boy Hotel, Sarge.'' ''Don't try and be funny, Constable. Just call it the police station.'' 05/04/21 11:17:11	7 16
I almost want to give you a supervote for this one, but it's too close to a painful truth (which isn't funny). --Willie Johnson
	''I only bought the jumper three months ago and it's already too small for him. Kids grow up so quick these days.'' 31/03/21 19:24:28	16

	lol ''Who are those f-cking wierdos?'' ''They're captioneers, Fester.'' 15/01/21 20:23:27	1 16
Some of their captions are festering... --Mauris Iocus
	Mr Potato Dead 13/10/20 19:00:26	16

	''I told you to move the car before they started painting the white lines.'' 25/09/20 11:00:09	16

	''Goldilocks was found guilty of breaking and entering and was sent to a young offenders' institution.'' ''That was a wonderful story. I love a happy ending.'' 13/09/20 7:18:06	16

	It was so sad. He dumped her just before the wedding. 30/07/20 11:00:22	16

	clever Shelf isolation 26/06/20 7:07:41	16

	clever Pulp Fiction 14/05/20 19:14:34	1 16
You Play With Matches You Get Burned. --Woofer 6
	lol I don't mind the fan dancing but I think it's a bit tasteless to bring that dead dog on stage. 06/05/20 7:49:11	16

	clever One of Van Gogh's earlier paintings before he began to suffer from depression. 03/05/20 11:02:41	16

	''And, if you waste any more time on that f-cking caption site, I'll splatter your brains all over the wall.'' 17/04/20 20:06:48	1 16

	''Whereabouts in the UK do you live?'' ''How do you know I'm from the UK?'' 11/04/20 11:27:39	2 16
I think he's from the Isle of White. --Karyn Harrison

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last comments (total: 936)

Congratulations, Dave!

:^)

Crunchy

Crunchy Chords

01/10/24
2:50pm

comment on caption:
"We can rescue the women and kids later." [Dave Bryan]

Excellent caption Dave! Well done!

KT A

01/10/24
3:10pm

comment on caption:
"We can rescue the women and kids later." [Dave Bryan]

Well done, Dave. Well deserved. Your wife and kids sent their congratulations too.

Al Overy

01/10/24
6:34pm

comment on caption:
"We can rescue the women and kids later." [Dave Bryan]

Ha ha, yeah Dave. It was ironic that my tortoise caption got off to an early lead, only to be run down by your beer caption wink You deserved the win, though, and kudos for contributing back to the site 👍

James Lennox

01/10/24
7:29pm

comment on caption:
"We can rescue the women and kids later." [Dave Bryan]

Thank you, Kathleen. Good suggestion.

(caption author)

03/10/24
6:59am

comment on caption:
De-parting is such sweet sorrow. [Dave Bryan]

Some years ago, a new dentist had the radio playing in his surgery when I visited - it was playing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?".

Molly R

28/10/24
8:38am

comment on caption:
''As you seem a bit nervous I'll put the radio on for you.'' 🎵 The first cut is the deepest 🎵 [Dave Bryan]

They can't make you cry though as they have laughing gas 🤔

Glyn Evans

28/10/24
9:31am

comment on caption:
''As you seem a bit nervous I'll put the radio on for you.'' 🎵 The first cut is the deepest 🎵 [Dave Bryan]

Furthermore, what could be quite fun would be if they had laughing gas sing-a-long championships

Imagine trying to contain yourself whilst singing "Everybody hurts", "Candle in the Wind" or even "Gloomy Sunday" 😂

Glyn Evans

28/10/24
1:28pm

comment on caption:
''As you seem a bit nervous I'll put the radio on for you.'' 🎵 The first cut is the deepest 🎵 [Dave Bryan]

It can’t be Harris I can’t see a cabbage.

[anon]

09/11/24
7:38pm

comment on caption:
BREAKING NEWS Trump picks his new team. [Dave Bryan]

Many thanks for the suggestion, Kathleen, but I think the Hank Mizell song is more in keeping with the aggressive rock attitude of the chimp than the insipid Jingle Bell Rock.

(caption author)

Saturday
9:26am

comment on caption:
🎵 It was a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock 🎵 [Dave Bryan]

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