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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	47		2	#12	8	22	#15	2842	3864	#50
Photos								13	47	#15
Comments	25				1	1	#6	597	803	#12
Forum Posts								77
Suggested Edits	6							33	37	#4

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	1	#14	22	#20	7658	#32
Photos			1	#8	827	#23
Comments					302	#27
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					1	#15

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	If cats had opposable thumbs, the first thing they would grab would not be a knife but a tin-opener. 11/12/22 8:16:31	2

	"You've got the camera upside-down, stupid." 03/12/22 8:00:10	2

	Liz Truss's new job is in kitchen design. 05/11/22 8:00:27	2

	Attractive suburban property, compact front garden, well served by public transport. 10/10/22 11:01:09	2

	The Wichita Male Voice Choir 08/10/22 11:00:20, edited: 08/10/22 11:00:40	2

	"George darling, have you seen my electric toothbrush? 17/09/22 7:00:07	2

	Grandad left a terrible cavity in our lives. 14/09/22 11:04:21	2

	Suddenly, young Heston had an idea for a restaurant. 29/08/22 11:00:56, edited: 29/08/22 11:01:07	2

	I'd rather just clip my fingernails. 22/08/22 7:25:38	2

	Comes with free "Do not disturb" door hanger. 18/08/22 7:30:32	2

	"Janet, did you hire a new window cleaner?" 07/08/22 7:11:54	2

	This is where the drunks urinate. 08/07/22 8:05:25	2

	Guacadolly 25/05/22 11:00:24	2

	Her mother always told her to eat her greens. 25/05/22 11:00:12	2

	"Well, you didn't expect me to marry Tina sober?" 04/05/22 11:01:19	2

	Putin wants to walk all over Ukraine. 27/04/22 7:01:16	2

	"No way am I going to make eye contact with that lunatic aggressor," thought Stalin. 16/04/22 7:45:06	2

	Ukraine is doing its best with a limited selection of missiles. 15/04/22 7:17:29	2

	The Lady and the Tramps 11/04/22 11:00:05	2

	"OK, Dad, it's fixed now - just come and put your hand under here to check it." 10/04/22 7:00:25	2

	Well, you try and find a telephone wire now that BT is scrapping analog connections. 08/04/22 11:01:01	2

	Sue Gray is still trying to untangle the web of lies about Partygate. 01/04/22 7:01:25	2

	I really don't like flying Economy. 22/03/22 12:00:52	2

	Brimful of rashers since he's 45. 11/03/22 12:00:13	2

	"You want a ride? Well, bugger me!" 10/03/22 12:03:22	2

	"What else could I do? The heating doesn't work." 09/03/22 12:00:12	2

	And fourth place in the Best Disguise competition goes to Matt Hancock. 09/03/22 6:17:14	2

	Emily didn't fancy a Greek discus thrower, she much preferred a German dancer in lederhosen. 07/03/22 12:01:08	2

	Give us a lick, darlin'! 25/02/22 12:02:14	2

	The Masked Singer scrapes the bottom of the barrel. 03/02/22 12:06:05	2

	Since the revelations, no alcohol is permitted at parties at Number 10. 17/01/22 12:00:08	2

	"I'm sure she had two legs when I married her." 12/01/22 8:00:32	2

	They didn't say it would take nine months to complete, and it's not so much fun at the end as it is at the beginning. 08/01/22 12:00:12	2

	Good thing he was an organ donor. 28/12/21 13:11:29	2

	Shock as yet another House of Commons party is discovered. 19/12/21 12:00:16	2

	"See what I always said - guns don't kill people. Not until you pick 'em up and fire 'em, that is." 12/12/21 12:00:32	1 2
Guns don't kill people. Bullets do. --Willie Johnson
	This was why his mother, unlike his grandmother, preferred a high-necked blouse. 06/12/21 12:02:04	2

	The Ghost of Christmas Dinner 04/12/21 8:00:22	2

	"Well, what did you think dinosaurs ate for lunch?" 03/12/21 12:01:03	2

	She was glued to her birthday card. 20/11/21 12:00:21	2

	You think your first year was rough? Just see what happens in the next seventeen! 20/11/21 12:00:08	2

	"I spent ages entering the competition to win this for my darling, rich old husband." 16/11/21 8:03:59	2

	"Thank you for socially distancing. Can I offer you some hand sanitizer?" 11/11/21 12:01:16	2

	"No, I don't want a job on Eurotrash, thank you." 10/11/21 12:01:28	2

	"Nobody gets between me and my chocolate cake!" 06/11/21 8:19:16	1 2
"Greedy mite. No one's going to get any of your cake? Are you going to put the knife down? Follow everyone else's example, cake is meant to be shared around so everyone has a piece" --Glyn Evans
	Sweetheart, thank you so much for my birthday present - at last, a bit of peace and quiet! 29/10/21 7:39:55	2

	"No, honey, of course he's safe - I made sure he was wearing his ear defenders." 22/10/21 11:00:14	2

	"My dad used to take me on adventure." 21/10/21 11:00:11	2

	It's really hard to get to see a dentist these days. 27/09/21 7:28:51	2

	"Er... no thanks, Dave." 26/09/21 7:00:12	2

	"I'm not sure that official Scrabble words include TESLA." 22/09/21 11:00:49	2

	I wouldn't have shagged her if I hadn't been blind drunk. 18/09/21 7:01:47	2

	"Who is that Wookiee, and what have you done with George?" 05/09/21 8:04:01	2

	"Isn't this fun, helping Mummy with the washing?" 14/08/21 11:01:01	2

	"Yo, Santa - up here!" 08/08/21 7:00:06	2

	"When exactly is Boris Johnson arriving?" 06/08/21 11:00:19	2

	"And don't it make this brown bear blue." 05/08/21 11:03:30	2

	The sign says the geese keep walking, but this one just flew at me! 09/07/21 11:00:07	2

	"I have to hide my face, I'm so ashamed of my owner exposing himself like that" 03/07/21 11:04:15	2

	Coupe cake 29/06/21 11:05:13	2

	"When is summer going to start?" 28/06/21 11:00:28	2

	When your eyes suddenly meet those of your dream girl... 18/06/21 7:00:07	2

	"Don't be silly, Mittens, you can't read a newspaper." "Not this one, certainly - it's not in English." Thu 8:38:21	1

	"Have you thought of doing it the other way up?" Wed 8:20:21	1

	They said my hair always looked like a bird's nest... 08/11/24 8:01:17	1

	Bird brain 08/11/24 8:00:58	1

	"Have you got tickets, lads?" "No, officer, we haven't." "Well, you're about to get one each." 24/10/24 11:03:02	1

	"You just have to accept it, if you want to eat watermelon you have to do it half-naked in the rain." 08/10/24 11:03:54	1

	He always fancied a pipe-and-slippers retirement. 06/10/24 7:14:26	1

	He liked it so he put a ring on it. 22/09/24 7:25:03	1

	"No, of course staring at bright lights doesn't damage one's eyesight." 08/09/24 7:10:27	1

	"Nan, that's not the lavatory!" 06/09/24 11:00:50	1

	"This is a really fun way to kill off the weeds in the driveway!" 05/09/24 7:20:35	1

	"It's OK, lads, it's not a snake, it must be a slowworm - look, it's shed its tail!" 21/08/24 5:56:38	1

	The fAIry got most of the fingers right, but really messed up the warning on the floor. 20/08/24 15:45:31	1

	Junk food break. 19/08/24 7:01:22	1

	"Up there, that's where my mother is." "Hmmph." 13/08/24 7:01:15	1

	Where's Paul Vause when you need him? 12/08/24 11:01:22	1

	"Maybe - but why does it have to smell of pee?" 22/07/24 7:37:26	1

	"Do stop reading over my shoulder!" 19/07/24 11:03:14	1

	While Dave's back was turned, the pinata made a break for it. 03/07/24 7:01:09	1

	"Look, just go away and play Donkey Kong." 29/06/24 11:04:07	1

	The yolk's on him. 25/06/24 7:01:21	1

	Airhead 12/06/24 7:35:07	1

	That vehicle strikes a chord. 31/05/24 7:05:30	1

	"They told me the gauntlets were rust-proof, but ..." Thu 7:24:09	0

	Everything had been fine until his facemask cracked open. Tue 12:00:55	0

	Lachlan reckoned that four haggis should be enough to keep the family fed up to St Andrew's Day. Mon 10:13:40	0

last comments (total: 162)

"Spain on the other hand will be a one way trip..."

[anon]

01/01/24
9:28am

comment on caption:
"Bethlehem? It's a long way, guv - I'll need to charge you the return fare." [Molly R]

The Mown of Silence

James Lennox

21/01/24
8:18am

comment on caption:
"Yes dear, yes dear. You do realise that I can't hear a word you are saying? It's wonderful!" [Molly R]

Nod to Pterry, of course.

(caption author)

29/04/24
7:55am

comment on caption:
When your librarian is an orang-utan and you made the mistake of calling him a monkey. [Molly R]

I don't get it please help.

[anon]

19/07/24
11:58am

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

Neil Parish MP was caught watching porn on his mobile phone in the House of Commons (UK Parliament) during a debate. He claimed he had been looking for information about tractors.

(caption author)

19/07/24
12:11pm

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

Were many people at the Commons that day or were they mass debating?

Glyn Evans

19/07/24
7:11pm

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

What, the Torie, morning glory?

Al Overy

19/07/24
9:38pm

comment on caption:
"Actually, I was looking for tractors." [Molly R]

Funny story about Salvador Dali. He used to invite his friends out for meals at expensive restaurants. When the bill arrived he'd pay for everybody with a cheque, but he'd draw a doodle on the back of it. The thing was, his doodles were worth way more than the price of the meal, so the restaurant would never cash the cheque. Cunning.

James Lennox

03/08/24
7:25am