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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	76	14	31	#3	22	101	#2	6416	17484	#16
Photos			3	#3		7	#5	453	1159	#6
Comments	14	2	4	#1	3	3	#1	1234	1871	#3
Forum Posts								53
Suggested Edits	5							39	44	#3
Tips								1	2	#9

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	13	#12	43	#7	10362	#24
Photos	3	#3	3	#5	1003	#20
Comments	1	#2			2027	#5
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					31	#2
Tips					1	#4

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	When you have a tall, slim, beautiful virtual sex partner, never fly to Russia to meet her in person. 02/04/24 11:12:01, edited: 02/04/24 11:23:14	5

	And so began Dave's lifelong fear of cat pictures. 19/03/24 12:06:50, edited: 19/03/24 12:35:09	5

	"Ha ha ha. And they still don't know which of us made the skin colour comment!" 18/03/24 8:05:58	5

	"And the best performer in an X-rayted movie is..." 11/03/24 8:04:49, edited: 11/03/24 8:06:37	5

	Why do they always put the USB ports in such stupid places? 29/02/24 20:01:39	5

	Electricity killed the Cat 18/02/24 20:13:00	5

	"You should have picked it sooner, Dave. It's gone to steed." 13/02/24 20:02:26, edited: 13/02/24 20:19:47	5

	lol "So that's where I left it," said Dave, 65 years later. 11/02/24 20:02:20, edited: 11/02/24 20:03:32	5

	"I'll meet up with you later, dear. I need to get my bush trimmed." 05/02/24 20:21:44	5

	"The things I do to support my peanut addiction..." 01/02/24 8:13:04, edited: 01/02/24 8:28:53	5

	Me and my breast friend. 21/01/24 20:00:33	5

	Sure, THAT Mr. Bean is pretty funny, but can he get a Dave award, be Top Finder, and score the Highest Weekly Caption vote total ever? 07/01/24 20:07:25, edited: 08/01/24 0:59:28	3 5
Normal service will resume soon I'm sure. The Wolf and Karyn appear to be taking a well earned rest, no doubt having enjoyed the festive season to the full. --Stephen Bean
	lol "Oh, thanks luv, just what I've always wanted. A vibrating dildo prosthetic." 05/12/23 20:03:25, edited: 05/12/23 20:03:51	5

	"Why do you have a bee in your bonnet?" 29/11/23 20:02:41, edited: 29/11/23 20:04:20	5

	And, voilà! Never have to pick up dog shit again! 20/11/23 8:26:12	1 5

	Under-werewolf 28/09/23 19:00:42	5

	"Maybe next time use a little less mustard?" 25/09/23 19:18:01	5

	Tonight on 'Where are they now?' - Lance Armstrong. 16/09/23 7:01:15	5

	"One billion, six hundred and twenty-seven million, three hundred and fifty-five thousand, eight hundred and eleven... One billion, six hundred and twenty-seven million, three hundred and fifty-five thousand, eight hundred and twelve..." 10/09/23 7:02:01	5

	Purrassic Park 01/09/23 7:00:38, edited: 01/09/23 7:13:44	5

	"Thank-you, Mr. Romanian Hotel Manager man, but I was just joking when I asked for some mints on my bed." 31/08/23 19:17:16	5

	"Sister, I think you should get out of that habit." "Really? Well, at least buy me another drink first." 19/08/23 11:02:31	5

	"No, I'm not a guy. No, I'm not having fun." 20/07/23 19:06:17	5

	Bidey and the Trump 18/07/23 7:01:18	5

	I bet Nan was hoovering up grass before she began hoovering up grass. 13/07/23 7:01:03	5

	Greasy Rider 28/06/23 7:01:37	5

	"For the last time, Floofy, I'm not in love with you. It was just a one minute stand." 24/06/23 19:46:47	5

	* Beware of Dangerous Speech Bubbles * 08/06/23 19:20:03, edited: 08/06/23 19:28:43	5

	That looks stupid. Why would anyone want a bicycle earring? 05/06/23 19:15:59, edited: 05/06/23 21:39:34	5

	"Ooo, I love this part where Charlotte dies." 05/06/23 11:36:33	5

	Having sexual relations with the exhaust pipes of small novelty cars was a little odd, but Casper was a very friendly ghost. 01/06/23 19:50:19	5

	Schrödinger's cat would try anything to stay out of that box. 29/05/23 7:07:01	5

	"Thank goodness One does not have to be elected Queen. One finds it most difficult to get votes on this site." 23/05/23 19:48:30, edited: 23/05/23 19:56:27	5 5
“I realise in advance I am likely going to get told off for putting this in the comments“Yes, you will Glyn. I’ve made it clear that the caption.me comments are not for political soapboxing. It’s divisive and it encourages oth... --Chris Beach
	Typical police, plantain evidence. 10/05/23 7:12:03, edited: 10/05/23 7:24:25	5

	"Al, buddy, I love you, mate... and Vivvy, oh, Vivvy, you're my favourite... and Crunchy, you're my favourite too... and The Wolf, I love you, man... and Stephen Bean, you're the best, love ya, love ya... and..." "I think it's time you got out, Dave." 27/04/23 19:27:21, edited: 27/04/23 19:30:29	5

	"Shirtless, eh? Would you like to see why they call me Saint Knickerless?" 18/04/23 11:13:43	1 5

	Penis Die Trap 25/03/23 21:12:54	1 5

	"What is that sloth doing in your cup of tea?" "I'm more worried about what that sloth is doing in my cup of water." 19/02/23 8:43:05	5

	Enough room to string a cat. 06/02/23 12:12:17, edited: 06/02/23 12:24:13	5

	Is there any Captioneer that isn't thinking "Doris Johnson"? 02/02/23 20:00:17	1 5
No there isn't, thats what I wrote lol --Jo
	"So if your friend said she'd jump off a cliff would you... nevermind." 29/01/23 8:02:41, edited: 29/01/23 8:04:20	5

	Zzyzx is an unincorporated community in San Bernardino County, California. Curtis Howe Springer, an American radio evangelist, made up the name Zzyzx and gave it to the area in 1944, claiming it to be the last word in the English language. If your captions aren't funny, at least make them informative. 27/01/23 8:09:06, edited: 27/01/23 8:25:17	1 5

	clever "Oh my God! I think I just hit Marge Simpson." 17/01/23 20:06:28	5

	"Sure, it would be funny, Dave, if there weren't a couple of kids back in Disneyland desperately grasping a spinning saucer." 05/01/23 20:48:46, edited: 05/01/23 20:55:38	5

	"Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite ... Seriously, DO NOT let the bedbugs bite." 06/11/22 22:20:48, edited: 06/11/22 22:30:25	5

	Around 3am Dave's decision to eat a block of cheese while watching The Mummy came back to haunt him. 06/11/22 20:17:50	5

	I used to be Schizophrenic, but I was a different person back then. 22/10/22 19:20:24	5

	The best thing about being a Christian is having fun innocent times with pretty girls. The worst thing about being a Christian is having fun innocent times with pretty girls. 18/10/22 19:32:51	5

	Somewhere there's a very lonely piece of pineapple skewered by a toothpick. 17/10/22 7:08:55	5

	"There's no cause for alarm, but could all passengers please momentarily lean to port." 09/10/22 7:03:21	5

	"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" 08/10/22 12:24:37	5

	Nothing is more fun than tormenting people with OCD. 02/10/22 19:25:49, edited: 02/10/22 19:47:24	10 5
Many good jokes are offensive if taken literally. I’m pretty sure I'm autistic (certainly all the tests I've ever taken indicate that I am) and I'm not offended by this joke. Because it's a joke, not a literal statement. --Chris Beach
	It's just PC gone mad. Can't presume anyone's gender. Can't make any racial references. Can't lick your balls in public... 30/09/22 7:13:15	5

	"Yes, I'm a proud woofter." 30/08/22 7:03:15, edited: 30/08/22 9:23:06	5

	"Yep, my tractor's happy, and my family is running." 06/08/22 7:04:19	5

	Best results would have been to take the shirt off first, thought Dave as he bounced around the tumble dryer. 01/08/22 11:51:58	5

	"June 6, 1944. Just another carefree day in Normandy." 16/07/22 7:08:24	5

	"Congratulations, Dave, you're the first person in history to fail the McDonald's job application test." 08/07/22 19:14:10	5

	Cat photos are now limited to 1 per 100. 16/06/22 7:00:43	5

	Nothing ruins a romantic moment like a giraffe staring at you through your bedroom floor. 09/06/22 9:55:20	5

	"Two dozen badgers, and a cat, in a garden, under a full moon. Let's plug that into the CAPTIONCREATOR™ and see what we get..." Input error. No results found. Default suggestion: "Meals on Wheels" 03/06/22 7:16:44	5

	Avacadoll 25/05/22 12:50:19	5

	"I don't care how many of you there are, either take off the shirt, or put on some pants." 22/05/22 7:19:14	5

	"Well, at least it draws attention away from my terrible toupee." 16/05/22 7:13:14	5

	"So, Dave, still reckon the ice will hold us?" 11/05/22 7:21:24	1 5
That's an ice breaker and a half! --Glyn Evans
	"It's remarkable, Dave, my 12 inch sub is exactly the same length as your 12 inch penis." 09/05/22 11:13:50	1 5

	"The world's starving people will not appreciate this photo." "On the contrary, thanks to this photo they're no longer even hungry." 07/05/22 19:35:26	1 5

	Hedgehogs are among the top 5% of animals that die from benign tumours, cancerous tumours, infectious diseases, and malnutrition ... So fuck it, enjoy yourself while you can. 03/05/22 7:12:45	1 5
Even hedgehogs have a fuck it list. --Karyn Harrison
	Being far too large to visit the pub, play golf, or have sex, Gulliver was bored shitless. 28/04/22 12:51:54	5

	Enough room to swing a cat? Yes. Enough room to swing a cat safely? No. 14/04/22 19:00:49	5

	-Why are sunflowers so slow at crossing the road? -It takes them 12 hours to look both ways. [Variation of 13:57:38, which only works for a Southern Hemisphere road ... although for a Northern Hemisphere road you could switch sunrise and sunset ... but I didn't want to add this as a disclaimer to the caption because it would detract from the joke ... and now I've done that on this caption anyway ... maybe I should have added it as a comment ... but that may have seemed like self promotion ... but now this disclaimer has gotten so long it probably seems like self promotion regardless ... oh, for God's sake, I'll just stop.] 07/04/22 13:24:41	5

	"You think your dogs are weird? My horse is on the sofa licking its balls." 02/04/22 7:02:03	5

	"A rose by any other name would smell as feet..." "Oh, damnit, Dave, that's us back to the typewriters." 01/04/22 11:39:26	5

	Ryanair introduces Homeless Class in an attempt to get more bums on seats. 22/03/22 12:45:56	5

	"Quick, honey, strip down and jump in while I'm ovulating." 03/03/22 12:04:17	5

	Belittle the Welsh all you like, but you've got to give them credit for the accessibility of their Red Light district. 03/03/22 8:19:51	5

	With kiddy-fiddling now frowned upon, the Church has to find creative new ways to traumatise children. 25/02/22 20:10:39	5

	"You spoil that otter." 23/02/22 20:10:57	5

	"Pssst, kid! While your dad is changing the tyre this would be a great opportunity to run over his head." 14/02/22 13:53:40	5

	"Hahaha, die Lara Croft, you evil bitch!" 12/02/22 12:44:44	5

	#4? 25/01/22 20:17:36	5

	"2B, or not 2B, that is the question." 20/01/22 8:03:23	5

	"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 8 lives since my last confession." 16/01/22 9:02:43	5

	"Darling, I must confess, when you weren't looking I slipped into the glory hole exhibit." "Oh, so that's why it felt so familiar." 13/01/22 14:33:31	5

	I can sympathise. Once a month my wife turns into a scary bitch too. 20/12/21 13:29:34	5

	"Right, that's enough Christmas eve drinks, you've got a busy day tomorrow Santa." 17/12/21 8:08:51	5

	Ah, the good old days before television. 16/12/21 8:40:11	5

	This exact thing happened to me once, except I was a young man, not a brown cow, and the gate was a girl named Penny, not a gate, and the black cow was Penny's father, not a black cow, but apart from that it was exactly the same thing. 10/12/21 8:04:31	5

	"Useless ... bloody ... defibrillator..." 08/12/21 12:49:46	5

	"Ok, your turn now." "Nah, you win." 29/11/21 12:28:40	5

	"Dave, that's not what I had in mind when I suggested we go camp." 26/11/21 20:27:00	5

	It really says "GLASS BLOWING" but the first two letters have been obscured by that hanging sign. [And with that, Dave retains his 0.13 vote to caption ratio] 15/11/21 20:20:21	5

	"Vincent! Stop playing with your food." 13/11/21 8:05:22	3 5
Thanks caption author. :) --Karyn Harrison
	Psychological Evaluation Test, Question 3: Who did you notice first? A. Spiderman B. The girl with big boobs C. Margaret Thatcher riding a flamingo 14/10/21 7:11:29	1 5
My eyes aren't that good sometimes. Here's what I noticed, in order: 1. Spiderman's next to a Christmas tree.2. That's not a Christmas tree. 3. Whoa! --Willie Johnson
	"Hi, my name's Dave. My favourite colour is brown. Also, I'm colour blind." 16/09/21 7:13:21	5

	"Damnit, I paid 50p for that Romanian orphan..." 11/09/21 7:13:20	5

	"Honey, the baby's trying to buy guns online." "Well, at least it's a change from porn." 09/09/21 7:08:10	1 5
It's a different kind of porn. --Willie Johnson
	"Damnit Mum, I know I was stuck with 'Park' as a surname, but why the hell did you have to call me 'Jurassic'?" 08/09/21 7:06:19	5

	As you get older, preening takes a lot longer. Dave started in 1972. 10/08/21 7:02:36	5

	"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I so just put a dent in the front left panel!" "Don't panic. Our owners will never suspect us. Unless you do that guilty dog look ... Don't do the guilty dog look!" 31/07/21 7:32:15	5

more captions

last comments (total: 1021)

Chuck Norris doesn't do press-ups, he pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe laces with his feet.

Chuck Norris doesn't make spelling mistakes, Oxford just corrects their dictionary.

*Sorry, couldn't resist smilie face

(caption author)

24/11/24
8:32pm

comment on caption:
Chuck Norris is so tough, even his trouser legs are scared of him. [James Lennox]

Gotta admit, that's much better. Thanks, Kathleen.

(caption author)

26/11/24
8:55am

comment on caption:
Bitchelor's Degree [James Lennox]

Sorry Glad You Remember. Didn't see your vote while I was tweaking the wording. Have reverted to the original.

(caption author)

30/11/24
12:28pm

comment on caption:
"Okay, nice photo, now go pack your bags Alf. It's not long till Trump is inaugurated." [James Lennox]

Hi Chris. Is there a font available for caption display that discerns between capital I and little l (like the caption creation font does)? Low priority, as I know font changes can cause major issues, but just wondering.

EDIT: I've just noticed the I / l sameness is only on my phone. The PC font does display them differently.

(caption author)

02/12/24
5:42pm

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

Nod 8:14:39. Not there when I started. Maybe mine's different enough? Or maybe I'll edit.

(caption author)

03/12/24
8:19am

comment on caption:
"Yep, sorry, Edward Scissorhands works Thursdays. I'm Emma Shrubhead." [James Lennox]

Hi there - I've just checked on my iPhone and it seems okay. Which phone are you using, please?

Chris Beach

(admin)

03/12/24
11:59am

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

Android, Chris. The font in the creation box displays I and l differently, but when it switches to the published pages I and l are the same. It's no biggie, as the cases it would cause confusion are rare (this caption for example, or Al's name reading as AI).

(caption author)

03/12/24
7:16pm

comment on caption:
Hound of the ASCIIvilles [James Lennox]

I don't want to edit post votes, but that "thanks" is really bugging me wink