C10H15N.me

02/11/21 8:02:22

If ever there was a time for an eggs and soldiers joke, now would be it...

24/09/21 11:15:42

"Bingo!"

"Well done, Dave, but remember, bingo is on Mondays."

12/08/21 8:03:55

"Those little buggers have been making rude words with my letters again. Now I won't sell any fresh c*nt pies."

29/06/21 7:02:16

*The phone number you have dialed is turned off or out of the service area, please leave a message*

"Hi honey, it's mum. I took the dirty linen out of your backpack and gave you some nice clean sheets. Thank me later."

14/06/21 7:04:40

When you put it that way, no, I have no problem with cat pictures on caption.me

18/04/21 19:27:11

"Yeah, sorry fellas, you might wanna give it a couple of minutes before you go in there."

17/04/21 7:10:00

Two months sitting on an egg would make anyone a little grizzly.

06/02/21 20:26:08

Every Christmas, Santa is the jolly bringer of joy to the world.

For the other 364 days he's just a fat old perv in a weird suit.

21/01/21 8:11:48

"Don't judge me, it was consensual and we're both grown lawnmowers."

07/12/20 20:17:30

lol

Rumours that cell towers cause genetic mutations are completely unfounded.

06/12/20 8:08:21

creative

"Just bite down while I realign your 3rd lumbar vertebra."

11/11/20 12:01:49

lol

Pinocchio regretted wishing for a dog.

04/11/20 8:02:50

"Jezuz it stinks in there ... I think I'll just shit in the woods."

11/09/20 19:00:17

"I could have been a movie star, but no, here I am flossing people's teeth for a living."

22/08/20 7:51:50

lol

"Why the long face?"

"They bought me a new cover, but now I look like a zebra, and all the other horses are laughing at me, and Polly, who I was totally going to shag, hooked up with Tornado, that bloody Spanish stallion, and one of my hooves is aching, I think it has a stone in it, and there's clover in my hay, I hate bloody clover, and..."

17/08/20 20:15:52

"Ummm ... I'll have a front right panel, a hood, 4 hub caps, a fresh paint job ... and a diet Pepsi."

30/07/20 9:44:40

clever

The winner of the 2008 Dog Obedience "Wait" competition.

09/06/20 19:22:24

As far as sexual positions go, the reverse cowboy is one of the trickiest.

09/05/20 19:42:11

"I can't believe you screwed Dave from accounts you dirty two-timing slag."

"Well I had to screw somebody you self righteous impotent prick."

"... And smile ... *Click*"

27/02/20 12:33:51

"Hi, it's me from last night. You remember, the threesome, I was the one on the bottom."

16/02/20 8:28:14

Yeah, that guy we hired to make balloon animals at little Susie's birthday party ... I wouldn't recommend him.

31/01/20 20:47:30

Superglue, the funniest invention since the guillotine.

31/01/20 8:18:26

"So you missed the battle of Endor because, and I quote, 'The bloody kiddy lock was on'."

19/12/19 12:11:38

"For Christ's sake Kenneth, put down the camera and get this f*cking thing off my head."

18/11/19 20:11:29

Bullshit, I buy my dope off Gulliver.

14/11/19 12:22:30

creative

Oh God. We finally make contact with an alien and he's a bloody mime.

25/10/19 7:04:42

Terrorcotta

23/10/19 9:26:27

*Free item can be another mannequin, a cat, or a bicycle.

06/10/19 7:19:14

This is the highest resolution photo I've ever seen on Caption.me ... I still have no idea what the hell it's of.

28/09/19 7:19:04

The other 32% are treated to a nice warm bath at KFC.

20/08/19 7:00:27

Before hair and makeup Big Bird is unrecognisable.

14/08/19 19:02:06

"And this is where I abducted you fifteen years ago."

29/07/19 7:14:07

I fell in love with her beautiful big blue eyes ... and then those damn Doctors Without Borders fixed my glaucoma.

16/07/19 7:16:17

"Thank goodness for the stork service. The alternative method is so messy."

07/05/19 19:12:53

There's nothing worse than when your cryogenic sleep is disturbed by someone looking for frozen peas.

20/04/19 11:00:22

It would probably be a sweet way to be woken in the morning ... if you owned a cat.

01/04/19 7:16:42

"So Darling, I had my piano upgraded. Do you like the pop-up scenery?"

"It's nice Dear, but installing the slide was a stroke of genius."

07/02/19 8:18:30

clever

By the power vested in sea, I pronounce you sand and wife. You may miss the tide.

19/01/19 10:44:24

"I've got to admit, Dave, I was expecting a little more from your Biology PHD thesis."

11/12/24 20:03:52

"I've some disturbing news, kids. One of you isn't mine."

17/11/24 8:00:48

"What's that, Saddam? You do have weapons of mass destruction, or you don't? ... Sorry, bad-line ... breaking up ... ksshhh ... ksshhh ..." *Click*

"Ok, General, send the troops in."

28/07/24 19:13:24, edited: 28/07/24 19:34:47

"Three minutes is up. Turn her upside down if you want to boil another egg."

21/07/24 7:02:28

Ballerina

28/06/24 7:06:01

Butt Heads

03/06/24 19:09:51

"Please, take it for a test drive, no strings attached."

31/05/24 7:11:54

Finally, Dave had everything he needed to survive the apocalypse.

14/05/24 19:02:07

Poopourri

04/05/24 7:01:10, edited: 04/05/24 7:10:30, suggested edits

lol

"Oh, hi there, listen, a couple of things. There's a step into this shed that I can't get over, so maybe you could lay down a ramp? Also, some small furry creature seems to have snuggled up to my groin ... Actually, just worry about the ramp."

30/04/24 7:19:59, edited: 30/04/24 7:26:13

Justice of the Piece

23/04/24 19:04:23

Bloody dangerous that, cycling in flip-flops.

09/04/24 19:02:26

"No, no, no. Penguins live in Antarctica in the Southern Hemisphere, while polar bears live in the Arctic in the Northern Hemisphere. So, despite what Walt Disney will have you believe, we never cohabitate in the wild. Anyway, where were we? Oh yes ... ROAR!!!!"

24/03/24 12:35:55, edited: 24/03/24 12:49:48

*BREAKING* - Scooby Doo enters rehab after caught humping the rear wheels of the Mystery Machine.

01/03/24 12:13:23, edited: 01/03/24 12:30:51

Never marry a foot fetishist whose favourite sex toy is a high powered vacuum cleaner.

26/01/24 20:22:29

"Why on earth do I have to buy twelve? I've only got one arsehole and he works away a lot."

25/01/24 8:07:45, edited: 25/01/24 9:05:59, suggested edits

Tittanic

24/01/24 12:09:20

"Requests?"

"Anything but Stairway to Heaven."

17/01/24 8:03:34

"Honey, we'll be late for the fancy dress party. Can you stop watching TV and put your costume on?"

08/01/24 20:04:32

"Does this hat make me look Goofy?"

02/01/24 12:20:59, edited: 02/01/24 12:25:13

lol

"We've come up with a new sales strategy, but I'm not sure you're going to like it, Ken."

29/11/23 18:54:39

"So you don't want your butt sniffed then?"

27/11/23 20:03:24

"Fancy that, sonny, we're wearing the same coat! I wonder, are you wearing pink crotchless knickers too?"

23/11/23 8:08:47, edited: 23/11/23 8:12:05

"Oh, come on, luv, don't get pissy with me," whined Dave. "The TV's broke and the internet is down."

19/11/23 20:11:04

Every cloud has a silver lining ... except this one, he's a right nasty bastard.

26/09/23 7:24:30, edited: 26/09/23 7:29:58

"Onions making you cry, Dave?"

"No. My caption didn't get any votes."

16/08/23 19:52:12, edited: 16/08/23 20:12:51

Poor old Frank had died 15 years earlier, but to save money Mavis had insisted on cremating him piece by piece.

16/08/23 7:10:26

"What are you doing up there?"

"Making a stand against the convention of reading speech bubbles top to bottom."

04/06/23 19:45:11

And the number one worst pick-up line ever goes to Dave, for 'Can I put this in something wet before it goes limp?'

24/04/23 12:21:17

"It's nothing personal, luv, but if Noah expects me to repopulate the elephant species with you he's f*cking dreaming."

02/04/23 8:45:42, edited: 02/04/23 8:50:14

Oh, look, it's raining prats and dogs.

18/02/23 20:00:25

"Well done! You can pick any prize off the top shelf ... except the lamp ... or the round cushion."

14/02/23 20:20:32, edited: 14/02/23 22:13:43

Anon

14/02/23 8:01:26

"Careful, luv, you could blind someone with that... On second thoughts, swing away."

30/01/23 12:11:52, edited: 30/01/23 12:15:44

"Damn it, you haven't changed into a salmon. These wish things are rubbish."

25/01/23 12:11:23, edited: 25/01/23 12:17:43

"Keep pushing, Miss, that baby helicopter will be out in no time."

24/01/23 8:25:46, edited: 24/01/23 8:27:15

lol clever

🎵 Here I go again on my own 🎵

"Alright, which one of you keeps singing?"

17/01/23 9:02:58, edited: 17/01/23 9:43:59

"Bring it on, Schrödinger."

11/12/22 8:24:38

"Ok, the stage is sanitised. Bring out the next PM."

21/10/22 7:00:29

Eventually, Death took on an apprentice, and traded in his scythe for a 10 HP rotary mower.

20/10/22 7:25:48, edited: 20/10/22 7:26:10

"There's no cause for alarm, but please make your way orderly towards the exit. We have termites."

16/10/22 12:14:54

"Damn you, United States Supreme Court."

04/10/22 11:16:52

Ducks are excellent flyers. Shit landers, but excellent flyers.

15/09/22 11:37:58

lol

My duck and pet frog were the best of mates, until that unfortunate incident with the lawnmower.

15/09/22 11:35:58

"Yeah, so you're pretty, intelligent, and you've got a nice body, but it's not like your shit smells of roses ... oh."

24/08/22 7:11:34

"Hmmn, yes, there's a lot of tension between your 4th and 5th vertebrae."

26/07/22 19:16:09

Spelling Bee awards are often ironic.

12/07/22 19:09:43

"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle."

Even Terminators have bad days.

03/07/22 12:17:36

"For Christ's sake, hurry up. My litterbox is full."

25/05/22 19:57:12

"My girlfriend is 4'11" and likes to dress up in full body mouse costumes, yet, somehow, I'm the weirdo? Story of my bloody life," lamented Dave.

01/05/22 7:13:24

For sale: Tent. Near new. Going cheap. Buyer must collect.

17/03/22 20:05:37

lol

"It's been one of those days. Got attacked by a whale. Then caught by a Japanese fishing boat. Fell off the back of a delivery truck. And to top it all off, I've pissed myself."

16/03/22 8:21:57

OnAdventureWithDad: The Prequel

02/03/22 20:03:03

"Ok, Dave, this time make sure you've got parts O and A around the right way. We don't want to build another gaol."

15/02/22 13:45:26

"It's such a shame my family couldn't be here due to the ongoing Covid restrictions."

"It's 2028, Dave, Covid's been gone for 5 years ... Anyway, Happy Birthday!"

22/01/22 20:12:44

After Karyn posted a picture of her car, all the cat photos suddenly made sense.

17/01/22 20:05:57

"That's all I have to say. Period."

11/12/21 8:16:16

Gulliver awoke with a vague suspicion he'd done something foolish at the Lilliput Christmas party.

30/11/21 12:05:50

If you can't laugh at gangrenous genital growths, what can you laugh at?

05/11/21 8:00:57

Chris did warn us ads were coming to caption.me, but this product placement is getting bloody ridiculous.

16/10/21 7:02:18

There's always one idiot that just has to wear a red beret.

09/10/21 7:00:14