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	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	3204	3438	#55
Photos
Comments	3	89	42	#75

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	2515	#76
Photos	8	#118
Comments	137	#42

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	clever x3 He'll be back in his crypt tonight. 10/05/18 11:14:18	23

	clever Bah HungBug! 22/12/16 12:01:58	2 23
Thank you folks, that's now my best scoring caption. :-) --Stephen Paterson
	Brian was incredibly nervous about his upcoming appearance on Mastermind. 30/09/17 11:15:44	2 22
It brings a new meaning to the phrase "I've started so I'll finish"! --Paul Woolley
	clever Indognito. 12/09/15 8:01:42	22


lol x2 17/07/18 23:32:15		15 21
Woof! Wasn't expecting that. Nice one Folks! --Stephen Paterson
	No Strings Attached! 09/11/15 12:02:16	20

	lol creative clever Meanwhile in Aberdeen, someone had just popped their head in the door to announce that a cash machine was giving out double the notes. 11/09/15 16:24:00	20

	Shellraiser. 22/06/15 11:02:12	20

	Not surprised there's a queue, they've only got a single file. 15/03/18 12:02:00	18

	creative clever A typo in their recruitment advert meant one house builder ended up with a specialist in Patois. 07/05/17 8:42:42	1 18
You clever cant. --Neil Mackenzie
	clever Turns out, Jane was also being paid peanuts. 14/03/18 20:00:42	17

	clever Sqwheel! 08/03/18 12:37:56	17

	clever Careful now, someone's set booby traps. 13/12/16 14:35:11	17

	lol There was no mention of this on the SunLife advert!? 04/04/21 19:36:52	16

	clever I had to buy more after some sick individual deflowered the last ones. 24/07/18 20:53:37	16

	Must be a cross-breed. 23/02/15 11:27:19	16

	Farmer Sutra 05/01/12 11:45:49	15

	lol Fatter Seat Dogs Home. 29/08/16 7:13:25	15

	Well that's Frosty off the Nice list, thought Santa after witnessing his inappropriate salute. 23/11/15 13:28:52	15

	Guilt trip. 14/11/15 12:17:02	15

	The Gland National 02/05/17 11:07:59	14

	Make something out of lego? I'm not that creative but I'll have a stab at it. 31/08/16 11:02:57	14

	lol "Best Tea-Towel holder ever!" 24/12/15 9:28:44	14

	Wee three Kings. 26/01/12 11:03:07	13

	Moments later Kermit got pulled over by the police and was found to have a massive collection of frogs pawn. 04/10/11 10:11:40	4 13

	The Aisle of Dogs 01/04/24 9:52:28	13

	Pier pressure. 30/12/16 12:06:15	1 13

	Mannequin Skywalker 16/04/15 10:24:17	13

	I've got a puncture, Darn it! 23/02/21 10:15:51	12

	Clare hadn't quite gotten over her yeast infection. 12/08/17 11:21:19	12

	See, weed does mess with your head. 31/07/17 7:01:22	12

	An outfit he threw together at the eleventh hour. 03/11/15 20:23:43	12

	🎵 Shoelips from Amsterdam 🎵 25/02/15 9:54:59	12

	clever Cirque du Sorbet. 06/02/15 12:04:56	12

	🎵 Pass the Dutch Air on the left hand side 🎵 20/02/21 20:14:43	11

	Disgraceland. 19/01/21 20:17:46	11

	clever Heir Show 13/09/17 9:56:00	11

	High Society 06/05/17 9:41:05	11

	This car was sold the following day, as an ex-demonstrator. 13/02/17 12:10:22	11

	lol "Wait till you see the other side Pat, you're bound to have a stroke". 07/12/16 9:44:14	11

	"Flaming Squatters!" 27/11/16 8:47:24	11

	Spoilt for years, Brian needed a boot up the arse. 01/05/16 7:50:43	11

	lol Everyone was surprised when the third brother turned out to be Brown Sauce. 09/12/15 20:25:25	11

	Jane knew she was in safe hands, as her partner had already experienced fourth baste. 22/11/15 8:33:19	11

	"What a husky voice you have!" 21/10/15 20:05:21	11

	lol The Xylophobic chants were hard to take. 25/06/15 10:28:20	11

	The Fritzl Bunch. 02/12/11 11:29:18	2 11
Hence why I voted!!!! WHEYY--OHHH --Bob Geddon
	Moments later toilet duck was done for domestos violence. 20/09/11 10:41:47	11

	Four guys, NO Cups! 09/11/11 9:57:22	5 10

	It was the first time Toilet Duck had come across a floater in the bath, so he set about it gingerly. 04/11/11 11:28:36	1 10

	I don't think you were supposed to untie that. 18/10/11 10:01:36	1 10

	lol clever Rene and the Airmen were beginning to suspect that the Resistance were taking the piss. 16/03/17 21:07:12	10

	AC/DC? 08/01/17 12:38:36	5 10
Highway to hell --Petey Bee
	As if he wasn't already shocked. 08/01/17 12:08:44	2 10
Nice One! Cheers Andrea x --Stephen Paterson
	This Den belongs to Levi Roots. 14/11/15 8:34:28	10

	Scream Tea. 11/09/15 12:01:28	10

	Surely it was time to stand up to these seikos. 08/04/17 13:46:57	9

	clever No butts! 31/12/16 10:10:13	1 9
no hips and butts --sandeep chahal
	Times Square, Manhatton. 18/11/16 12:11:41	9

	Morecambe Unwise 02/11/16 9:23:28	9

	🎵 And they call it puppy glove 🎵 06/09/16 11:00:08	9

	Now that's what I call Parental Control. 17/08/16 9:41:03	9

	China begins targeting illegal squatters. 15/08/16 10:19:43	9

	Subway, Eat Fresh. 29/07/16 8:59:53	9

	Dribbling was a key part of his game. 19/07/16 11:50:25	9

	clever Tarmacmadam. 10/02/16 13:11:49	9

	It's meant to be BASIL, the R's Faulty. 02/12/15 21:29:30	1 9
Guy playing Basil Fawlty criticised Cleese for being too tall. Not 'is fault 'e towers. --Michael Monkhouse
	Ah, just remembered, we're out of Peanut Butter. 07/11/15 8:35:11	2 9

	The height of irony. 02/11/15 12:51:26	9

	Paranormal Activitea 11/09/15 11:55:47	9

	SmiLing 06/06/15 8:15:01	9

	"Erm, I don't suppose you'd like to take up a Missionary Position?" 29/05/15 11:41:42	9

	Mick Jagger had petitioned for these two to be banned from his local beach. However, he can't get no fatties sanction. 18/07/11 14:34:58	1 9

	Girth Brooks. 12/04/21 19:12:42	8

	clever I thought you only got an "Oo" with Typhoo? 28/03/21 20:52:45	8

	Smoothest Bus Ride Ever, thought Mrs Magoo. 16/07/18 10:32:32	8

	Mood swings. 07/05/18 19:23:01	8

	clever Such an embarrassing period to talk about, the minstrel cycle. 06/03/18 9:46:38	8

	Leaf Blower 22/04/17 11:09:38	8

	Plays havoc with Bill's Gait. 14/01/17 10:43:48	8

	That's the problem with rolling snowballs in the garden, there's always the chance of picking up a little shit. 20/12/16 15:55:35	8

	What a horrific carpet! 28/04/16 9:31:41	8

	Not a Taco Belle. 15/04/16 9:51:03	8

	And they're not taking the piss. 09/03/16 12:01:26	8

	It wasn't just his moustache that was revolting. When it came to the future of Poland, Jozef had Tsars in his eyes. 26/02/16 13:11:49	1 8
quit Stalin and get to the point... ;-) --[anon]
	A Damsel in Discdress. 20/01/16 19:18:16	8

	So I guess it's true about them having a massive Dong. 11/11/15 12:13:45	8

	lol "And this" said Bill Oddie, "is a lesser spotted pecker eating a tiny acorn" 13/09/15 9:36:37	8

	The only time it's acceptable to hit a bum note. 09/09/15 12:41:59	8

	lol 🎵 Amstel Standing 🎵 24/06/15 11:10:37	8

	clever Telling stories of how he was half baked in the Red Light district of Amsterdam, Brian failed to mention that he'd caught a yeast infection. 18/06/15 8:15:34	8

	clever CEYLON! 09/06/15 13:24:22	8

	Brian was aggrieved at having to pay a higher Congestion Charge. 06/01/12 11:00:21	8

	Brian was having a field day. 05/01/12 11:36:15	8

	Phew, that was close, it nearly taurus a new one. 24/10/11 11:23:05	8

	Clare's profile simply read: Looking for a Tallboy to hang around with. 29/09/11 11:20:00	8

	Nest-cafe 31/03/11 10:09:17	1 8

	"Touch it again and I'll break your fucking thumb!" 23/02/21 20:59:36	7

	For he's a jolly good Bellow.. 26/02/18 12:04:10	7

	Available from specialist Nurseries. 26/07/17 11:03:51	7

more captions

last comments (total: 123)

Does anybody know why up here in Ecosse,the word '@wat' is not as offensive?.Is it just me?.The word c*nt on the other hand is extremely offensive as it is dan saff,although there are more down there..(joking),dont want a cartman war

Craig Eddie

22/09/11
6:50am

comment on caption:
Auntie Gravitea [Stephen Paterson]

@MI6 Bagpuss: Sorry, I forgot, it's CTRL-F on a PC, CMND-F on a Mac. Those keys are also in the reverse position on a Mac keyboard, so they do the same thing with a different name. And thanks for pointing out the multiple pages Grant Amey, I forgot to mention it.

@Craig Eddie, I've heard 'Twat' said on Radio 4 a few times, on both news and comedy shows, but can't remember ever hearing 'c*nt' on there. See, even I'm censoring myself- maybe it's because it's such a lovely word (the harshest, and therefore best-sounding swear word in my opinion) that it should be saved for when it's really needed. Now there's a dictionary entry that'll never be written: 'Use 'C*nt' for those moments when 'Twat' simply won't do'. Oddly, in the US, they pronounce 'Twat' as 'Twot', and it's often seen as the most offensive thing you can say.

Michael Winner

22/09/11
7:24am

comment on caption:
Auntie Gravitea [Stephen Paterson]

Sorry to have opened up a can of worms with this. I had typed Anti-Gravitea but then figured why not make it Auntie seeing as it's a female in the pic. Perhaps I'm being overprotective of the caption due to this being my single best week in the 20 months since joining.

Stephen Paterson

22/09/11
8:32am

comment on caption:
Auntie Gravitea [Stephen Paterson]

Should we mark captions if we want to write two captions that are similar? So, Stephen, if you'd wanted to, you could have wrote both Anti & Auntie and put a sign like I don't know, a number or symbol or something. Then everyone knows to not say anything about duplicates because it's the same owner. That way, you could have gotten the other captions points too. Only an idea.