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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 78 | 4 | 3 | #26 | 1 | 4 | #30 | 8131 | 22694 | #8 |
| Suggested Edits | 6 | 5 | 6 | #13 | ||||||
| Photos | ||||||||||
| Comments | 18 | 342 | 360 | #24 | ||||||
| Forum Posts | 4 | |||||||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 6 | #26 | 2 | #32 | 14349 | #15 |
| Suggested Edits | 1 | #2 | 6 | #11 | ||
| Photos | 326 | #44 | ||||
| Comments | 213 | #34 | ||||
| Forum Posts | ||||||
captions
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30/09/23 7:06:34 |
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12/03/14 12:37:33 |
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30/07/13 11:21:55 |
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July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
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27/04/20 11:12:35 |
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03/04/20 7:09:53 |
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02/05/19 7:16:05 |
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21/10/16 11:54:20 |
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18/09/12 19:10:56 |
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"Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?" 26/06/24 11:10:15, edited: 26/06/24 11:15:21 |
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Really refreshing to see a narrative caption doing well, nice work Cap Auth. --James Lennox
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"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit" 24/06/19 19:30:04 |
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Never try to leave a barbers without paying 01/07/21 11:19:39 |
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Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean
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01/10/18 19:04:56 |
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I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments --Mark England
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In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses 23/01/17 20:16:38 |
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It's based on Don King's unique hairstyle --Mark England
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27/08/13 19:01:41 |
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"The journey was so slow. It kept stopping at every lamp-post" 01/03/24 12:03:31 |
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15/01/24 12:28:36 |
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The flight is £4.99, but the extra weight over the standard limit will be another £4990. --Molly R
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The Scottish version of Knight Rider had a car called KILT. 06/11/23 8:12:43 |
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Curious to see what's under the bonnet --Boycie
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30/09/21 19:52:45 |
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Pmsl --Karen Oakenfull
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Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg 08/09/21 11:15:15 |
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Around the M25 in 80 days. Sounds about right. --Dan Nicholls
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22/10/18 19:44:22 |
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It's situated in a close knit community 15/02/17 20:06:24 |
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24/11/23 8:09:50 |
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"I swear if I catch you swinging past my daughter's bedroom again I'll...." 30/09/23 11:02:06, edited: 02/10/23 11:45:50, |
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"John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?" 13/09/23 19:03:13 |
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No one is talking about the elephant in the room 30/05/22 7:44:43 |
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18/05/21 11:17:50 |
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Do sailors say clean things when they get Tourette's? --Willie Johnson
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Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise 22/05/20 11:12:57 |
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But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea. --Woofer 6
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"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.." 30/06/19 11:05:59 |
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"All I did was order a pint of cider" 02/04/16 19:05:57 |
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06/05/23 7:00:54 |
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"Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign. 17/02/23 8:05:41 |
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"Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?" 28/06/21 11:39:48 |
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The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel 13/04/21 19:45:32 |
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"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves" 08/07/20 7:25:57 |
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05/05/20 19:11:08 |
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Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything! 22/03/18 12:09:42 |
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"My nose is running" 24/11/13 20:20:38 |
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lmfao...bravo. --Ross Davidson
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19/09/12 7:01:41 |
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06/09/12 11:10:26 |
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8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys 23/08/24 19:03:33, edited: 23/08/24 19:10:23, |
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"I'm fed up with this. Can't we just buy a lemon squeezer?" 11/06/24 19:03:36, edited: 11/06/24 19:04:45 |
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Dave Laboured away putting up his Christmas decorations, while Tracy was a bit more Conservative 07/01/24 12:09:11 |
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Thinks "These humans must be vicious, they're all muzzled" 18/10/23 19:05:54 |
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"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" 26/08/23 11:09:32 |
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Feel free to experiment on any of my captions, Dave --Vivvy En
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"Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea" 07/09/21 7:14:09 |
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27/02/21 20:39:51 |
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Great thinking on this one. Love it --The Wolf
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It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit 07/07/20 7:03:05 |
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"Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?" 30/04/20 7:27:16 |
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Some Paralympic events simply do not work 09/04/20 7:35:58 |
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I hate myself, but I can't stop laughing at this. --James Lennox
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"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse" 16/08/19 11:04:54 |
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"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'" 19/09/18 7:53:27 |
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07/02/17 12:13:01 |
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"I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy" 10/05/15 11:16:55 |
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in your opinion. --Lucky Elperro
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"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night" 05/04/15 11:00:58 |
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"Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears" 11/07/14 20:00:38 |
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Is it just me, or this the best round of captions in ages? I love this. --Michael Winner
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05/07/14 11:19:27 |
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24/03/14 20:16:35 |
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George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team 26/01/14 10:37:47 |
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05/10/12 11:08:49 |
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"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1" 29/08/12 11:52:52 |
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25/04/14 11:07:08 |
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Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats 31/08/12 11:14:25 |
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28/08/12 11:44:28 |
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30/10/24 12:00:38 |
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25/05/24 7:17:26, |
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Suggested edit just tweaks the punchline, Cap Auth. I like it as it is regardless. --James Lennox
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18/10/23 19:02:35 |
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18/10/23 11:09:48 |
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05/01/23 8:23:00 |
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13/09/21 7:05:29 |
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It's a clown so that's a given. --Barrie Bullock
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07/07/21 11:22:43 |
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21/08/20 11:09:41 |
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Mary had a little lamb 17/08/20 7:54:46 |
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Shocking --John Glover
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"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian" 19/08/19 8:37:25 |
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"You spoil that bloody hamster" 30/03/19 8:06:50 |
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28/08/18 11:07:39 |
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Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune. 07/02/15 20:29:27 |
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25/09/24 19:08:26 |
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I've always wondered how she gets that parting in her hair. 13/09/24 11:09:42 |
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Most people are surprised when they see the inner workings of a robot 15/08/24 11:17:30 |
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"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" 08/08/24 11:07:13, edited: 08/08/24 11:09:00 |
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That's surely not a cider monkey? --NotAsFunnyAsYourMum
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Talk about flogging a dead horse 17/04/24 11:01:41 |
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25/02/24 20:03:31 |
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25/07/23 19:29:09 |
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That black masking tape is gonna hurt when they pull it off. 26/06/23 11:03:32 |
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You think that's big? Look at the size of the Brussel Sprouts behind her 18/02/23 12:09:40 |
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I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech 11/07/22 11:07:35 |
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"Sir, do you mind running through it again?" 22/06/21 11:05:16 |
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"Do you mind running through the halls naked and screaming? Yes you do mind? Then do you mind if I do it after a question like that?" --Willie Johnson
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28/05/21 11:17:19 |
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The lower sign is for constipated bats 08/04/21 7:08:47 |
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Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers 20/01/21 8:26:26 |
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"The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked" 01/12/20 11:28:19 |
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23/03/20 20:02:36 |
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13/03/20 20:08:04 |
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"So how will I recognise you?" 24/11/19 21:01:22 |
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"Well, I told you not to pull its tail" 16/11/17 20:27:03 |
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Anon. As it’s panto season you missed ‘Ooooh’ from the start of your comment --Mr Dome
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03/10/17 19:00:51 |
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...specializing in REALLY HEAVY construction. --Greg Curtis
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27/08/17 19:08:24 |
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01/04/15 20:51:15 |
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must be me but its a bit sick! --Bad Boy Dennis.
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25/09/14 11:05:16 |
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15/05/14 19:24:32 |
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suggested edits
email us
Thanks, James
7:57am
comment on caption:
"Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?" [Mark England]
Probably not many, that would wipe the spider out straight away!
11:16am
comment on caption:
"Blimey, Dave. There's more humane ways to kill a spider" [Mark England]
That's surely not a cider monkey?
11:19am
comment on caption:
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" [Mark England]
Monkey Shine?
2:03pm
comment on caption:
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning" [Mark England]
Yes. That's better, Kathleen. Thanks
7:11pm
comment on caption:
8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys [Mark England]
If you've ever seen Year of the Rabbit, Joseph Merrick's a theatrical diva and a party animal 🥳
11:41am
comment on caption:
"I'm not an animal. I'm a human being" Coming to cinemas soon: The Giraffe Woman [Mark England]
That's a really clever caption, it shows the power of love.
One day, I hope my daughter will grow up to be a hunger striker and dirty protester
That would make me so proud 🥲
3:49pm
comment on caption:
"Siobhan, what happened to your doll?" "She's on Hunger Strike, Dad, and now she's doing a dirty protest" "That's my girl" [Mark England]
Tee Willy.
11:48am
comment on caption:
Before the game became P.C, golfers used to tee off with baby Orcas. [Mark England]
Nod from 20:11:48 happy to edit if you'd like me to. Will try to give you a vote later.
8:16pm
comment on caption:
"Please, no, not the cage. I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good....." [Mark England]
Thanks. Nod not needed. Looks like we had similar ideas at virtually the same time.
8:39pm
comment on caption:
"Please, no, not the cage. I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good....." [Mark England]