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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 58 | 1 | 1 | #22 | 7 | 12 | #19 | 11075 | 23021 | #7 |
| Photos | ||||||||||
| Comments | 21 | 202 | 353 | #25 | ||||||
| Forum Posts | 8 | |||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 2 | |||||||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 2 | #20 | 9 | #27 | 8839 | #29 |
| Photos | 73 | #83 | ||||
| Comments | 642 | #14 | ||||
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 3 | #14 | ||||
captions
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08/09/22 7:01:34 |
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Nice one Vanessa ... if you celebrate with a drink ... 'Down the hatch' --John Glover
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He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today. 27/04/19 11:09:49 |
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I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments! --Vanessa the Guesser
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Please dispose of crampons in the bin provided. 18/03/23 20:09:57 |
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Luckily, there was a Constable nearby. 12/08/23 11:22:25 |
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Better than showing off her Wotsits. 10/03/24 20:31:31 |
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"We always take a few magazines to bed." 16/02/24 8:02:26 |
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None of the magazines are Loaded but there a couple of Nuts and Maxims somewhere --Mr Dome
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08/08/20 7:05:57 |
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Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all the support and the lovely uplifting comments. :) --Vanessa the Guesser
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11/10/24 7:01:04 |
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"What's the frequency?" 28/09/24 11:06:53 |
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Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa! --Chris Beach
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25/07/20 11:02:49 |
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Icy too --Willie Johnson
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11/02/19 12:01:55 |
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Thank you for the votes and kind messages, they are much appreciated. Hope you all have a great weekend! --Vanessa the Guesser
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20/09/18 7:05:14 |
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I'm so excited to win! Thanks for the votes and comments. --Vanessa the Guesser
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That would explain the Yellow Pages. 24/10/22 19:00:13 |
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"Come on now, it's pasture bedtime" 27/09/22 19:01:39 |
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It's no wonder they remained unseeded. 06/09/22 19:09:55 |
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"My joystick's not working." 10/08/24 11:14:49 |
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02/03/24 12:07:56 |
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27/12/23 8:09:34 |
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"I'm more used to driving Double Deckers." 18/08/23 7:12:15 |
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25/03/21 20:00:07 |
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Thank you for the votes and kind comments. I hope you all get the chance to put your feet up and have a great Easter! --Vanessa the Guesser
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18/04/20 11:11:28 |
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11/07/19 7:18:11 |
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30/04/19 11:21:58 |
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"Are you one of those Harey Bikers?" 03/05/24 19:10:10 |
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I thought I heard the delivery guy knocking. 17/02/24 12:01:37 |
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"Bit disappointed with this Plenty of Fish website.." 09/12/23 8:03:25 |
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Too many old trout? --Al Overy
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Parenting tip #21 - Do not allow your children to go up the chimney in search of Santa. 26/04/22 7:17:06 |
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"Is the top one Preacher Man?" 20/10/21 19:00:24 |
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Yes, he was, he was, ooh, yes, he was --Dot Old
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19/01/20 13:30:10 |
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31/03/24 7:16:35 |
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29/10/23 20:03:08 |
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At least, it's a stable job. --John Glover
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17/06/23 11:01:48 |
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05/02/22 8:00:09 |
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20/06/19 19:01:49 |
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German kids like to reserve their place in the ice cream queue. 07/12/24 12:04:41 |
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I wouldn't worry. It's not often that Scotland get anything in the back of the net. 23/10/24 19:08:54 |
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"Cycling really makes my calves ache." 24/08/24 7:09:58 |
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26/08/23 19:08:19 |
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"What a ridiculous orange nose!" thought the snowman. 03/06/23 19:00:31 |
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09/02/23 20:01:57 |
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I keep tripping when I wear these. 05/08/22 20:03:39 |
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The photographer was slammed for airbrushing the basketballs from this picture. 15/06/21 7:48:11 |
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27/06/20 11:04:09 |
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Phone Bogx --Flo .
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I don't know about buses but 3 old men came at once. 10/05/20 11:09:22 |
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Some of us still love a hairy Regina. 04/05/19 19:15:39 |
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24/04/19 19:00:24 |
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"Mum, please can I go out tonight?" 07/12/24 8:04:45 |
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"I'm worried that my hairline is reseeding." 03/12/24 8:03:19 |
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29/09/24 11:09:19 |
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28/08/24 19:08:50 |
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5 years we've been married and never a crossword. 13/07/24 7:12:11 |
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"Don't worry, I won't eat you. Parrots repeat on me." 16/03/24 20:04:30 |
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She's refusing to take it lying down. 13/01/24 12:02:28 |
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"There's no rush. I told my wife I'd come in at 20 to 1." 08/09/23 7:42:41 |
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"Where's the cat that got the cream when you need him?" 29/09/22 19:04:38 |
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26/02/22 12:03:50 |
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Poor Bacon. They never managed to cure him. 11/04/21 12:24:36 |
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Who you gonna call? Ghostbuskers 21/03/20 12:00:10 |
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There is no Dana. Only Zuul. --Scrijjy Doo
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18/03/20 20:27:47 |
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09/03/20 12:00:12 |
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I didn't realise it was Leslie Ash Wednesday 04/03/20 8:03:15 |
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Very funny. Not an easy photo to caption. --Dave Bryan
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27/12/19 20:00:11 |
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You can usually spot penguins by their peculiar gates. 02/02/18 9:11:01 |
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When you get Heather Mills for Secret Santa. 19/10/24 7:02:32 |
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They've just dropped off their kids at the nursery. 05/02/24 20:07:02 |
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17/10/23 19:24:28 |
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Wham! He was struck from behind by a careless Wispa. 18/08/23 7:08:44 |
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"It says here that it's good manners to remove swimming caps whilst eating." 03/05/23 7:02:12 |
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😂 --Julia Kinsey
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08/02/23 8:00:08 |
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Or a nosey parkour --Mr Dome
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28/10/22 19:17:39 |
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She only married him because he's loaded. 01/10/22 19:11:23 |
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He's been shopping in his natural Habitat. 12/09/22 19:00:27 |
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03/09/21 7:19:05 |
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24/08/21 7:00:37 |
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05/06/21 7:16:15 |
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"Shit..." 22/01/21 12:33:21 |
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"Waiter, there's a hare in my soup. What's it doing there?" "I believe it's doing the backstroke sir." --Willie Johnson
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They think it's all over.. It is now. 26/10/20 20:03:22 |
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25/07/20 11:01:16 |
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16/04/20 19:03:38 |
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03/04/20 19:00:09 |
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"I'm just off out clubbing now, mum!" 13/03/20 20:02:58 |
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She'll be 'Dancing on the sealing' --Mr Dome
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30/12/19 16:56:53 |
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The clitoris fancy dress party was poorly attended as hardly anyone could find it. 21/12/19 13:31:38 |
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28/12/18 12:00:41 |
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When you need to look fetching. 05/10/18 12:36:36 |
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George is really coming out of his shell. 02/07/18 19:00:28 |
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02/02/18 12:30:31 |
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10/04/17 11:30:43 |
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I sent all my kids to boarding school. 25/02/17 12:00:14 |
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Best caption for some time in my 'umble opinionG --Gf j
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It's pointless Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong trying to hide on holiday. 10/01/17 8:21:51 |
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My first laugh out loud moment of the day. Thanks! :D --Pussy Galore
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09/07/24 19:00:50 |
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He normally likes a roll on his back. 05/06/24 7:12:20 |
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27/03/24 12:00:43 |
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13/02/24 20:33:02 |
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11/09/23 19:04:34 |
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Contest over. --Scrijjy Doo
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They're hoping to win the cup. Along with the knife, fork, spoon and the plate. 31/07/23 19:16:47 |
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It's nice to have at least one square meal a day. 04/04/23 19:03:28 |
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If you prefer dogs, there's a Yorkie in the other vending machine. 15/02/23 8:03:09 |
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Shortly after he became a goody-two-shoes. 04/02/23 20:19:21 |
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Passing a hard stool had inflamed Gran's IBS. 18/01/23 8:01:30 |
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email us
It’s hard cheese however the Democrats think putting it back in the thermonuclear oven might soften it up.
4:09pm
comment on caption:
Make America Grate Again [Vanessa the Guesser]
Sorry Vanessa, just missed voting. Great caption.
11:09am
comment on caption:
"Get down, Shep!" [Vanessa the Guesser]
Reminds me of the old Beano joke:
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
7:31am
comment on caption:
"Do you mind? I'm just getting dressed." [Vanessa the Guesser]
The Carboard Captioneer is completely recyclable just like his jokes.
7:39pm
comment on caption:
The Cardboard Captioneer comes complete with interchangeable tabbed paper clothes for 8.00 am, 12.00 and 8.00 pm: pyjamas, dressing gowns, string vests and much more. Exclusive offer for June - red negligee with matching crotchless panties (one size fits all). [Vanessa the Guesser]
Looks like he ran out of juice.
11:18am
comment on caption:
He just got pipped at the post. [Vanessa the Guesser]
... and a gurgling sound from under the bonnet.
12:59pm
comment on caption:
Well I can hear a rattle in the engine. [Vanessa the Guesser]
*Crush, crunch, munch, splat* - Orchestral Manoeuvres on the Parquet
12:26pm
comment on caption:
🎵 Granola Gay 🎵 [Vanessa the Guesser]
No ifs, ends or butts?
12:35am
comment on caption:
No ifs or butts [Vanessa the Guesser]
The Enola Gay was the aeroplane that dropped a nuclear bomb on Hiroshima. Not sure everyone got the reference.
8:03pm
comment on caption:
🎵 Granola Gay 🎵 [Vanessa the Guesser]
I think we did, Al. I think less got the reference to Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, lol.
9:00pm
comment on caption:
🎵 Granola Gay 🎵 [Vanessa the Guesser]