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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	63	25	43	#9	46	116	#2	13963	33631	#4
Comments	14	5	4	#3	5	4	#3	1455	1692	#4
Suggested Edits	2							7	6	#11
Photos
Forum Posts								13

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	31	#7	47	#5	14130	#16
Comments	2	#5	1	#7	1205	#7
Suggested Edits	1	#1			21	#3
Photos			2	#5	681	#29
Forum Posts

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


clever creative x2 lol 14/12/23 20:05:07, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:50		21 36
Many congratulations, Dave! This picture was one of my first attempts at creating something using AI. I'm so pleased to see it inspired such a brilliant caption. Well done!And thanks, Vivvy. I'm glad you liked the picture. --Karyn Harrison
	lol x2 ''Darling, when you've finished putting the tree up would you come and carve the sparrow.'' 01/12/23 12:23:30	1 29
Let her finish her thimble full of sherry first. --John Glover
	clever x2 When Tom saw what was happening on the other side of the lake he decided to take a gander. 15/04/23 7:25:17, edited: 15/04/23 7:26:48	1 27
Curiosity chilled the cat. --KimJong Pun
	''Waiter, will the pizza be long?'' ''Yes.'' 04/01/23 20:00:14, edited: 04/01/23 20:00:38	27


20/09/24 7:01:56, edited: 01/10/24 17:27:52		20 26
Well done Dave for another great caption - you ran away with it last month. Did you go back for the family? --Mr Dome
	lol creative x2 clever ''Hello, Derbyshire police, it's Tom here. I've just seen a couple walking their dog.'' 31/03/20 7:04:05	26

	''Well, Jane, it looks like I was right. The trams do run on Sundays.'' 23/07/23 7:55:41	25

	clever Local residents were becoming increasingly worried about the volume of traffic. 11/07/23 19:34:50, edited: 11/07/23 19:39:47	25

	The Emperors' new clothes 20/01/23 8:00:42, edited: 20/01/23 8:00:59	25

	lol ''The conference hall bar is now open, if anyone would like to purchase a gottle o' geer.'' 16/10/22 11:01:00	25

	Kneel Armstrong 06/09/24 19:38:12, edited: 06/09/24 19:53:57	2 24
I really like your Buzz Aldrin caption. If you re-post it I'll give it a vote. --Karyn Harrison
	Messcafe 26/02/24 20:03:33	24

	Cold Trafford 10/04/23 7:00:09	24

	lol Stoned baked pizza 08/08/21 19:20:57	24

	''I kneaded somewhere to live.'' 01/09/24 7:14:10	2 23

	To be honest, I can't see that hairstyle taking off. 12/06/24 7:05:28	23

	Gillette: The breast a man can get. 08/06/24 19:06:58	23

	lol x2 ''How much longer are you going to be in there?'' 26/02/24 12:03:50	23

	''Help yourself. There's no strings attached.'' 20/01/24 12:06:32	23

	Fat women riding ostriches? Somehow I don't think it will take off. 30/07/23 19:21:40, edited: 30/07/23 19:38:07	2 23

	''Read the small print, Billy. The Devil is in the detail.'' 08/04/23 7:07:49	23

	lol ''It's not my fault the nest is a shambles. The instructions were in Swedish and three of the twigs were missing.'' 16/06/22 19:29:20	23

	lol ''What have you got to say for yourself?'' ''Meow.'' 15/10/21 11:09:02	1 23
Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan
	''I'll be black.'' 29/06/24 11:08:15	22

	clever When the shit hits the man. 07/04/24 19:56:13	22

	clever ''Have you ever fought before?'' ''I was wrestling with the accounts all morning.'' 02/03/24 8:20:01, edited: 02/03/24 8:28:26	22

	CLOSING TIME AT KNOWSLEY SAFARI PARK ''Don't worry, it must be hiding in the bushes.'' 08/02/24 12:08:35	1 22
Crap, sorry Dave. I missed voting on this pic. Would have Supervoted this. --James Lennox
	''If someone doesn't buy a brick soon, I'm going to throw in the trowel.'' 27/01/24 8:05:07	22

	Arch Garfunkel 24/01/24 8:29:18	22

	How could anybody refuse him? 10/10/23 7:00:57	22

	''I love a nice cup of coffee in the middle of the mourning.'' 14/05/23 11:19:07	22

	creative ''If only we could have had the blizzard before your mother arrived.'' 31/12/22 8:20:07	22

	lol ''I wish he wouldn't throw the stick so far.'' 03/12/21 20:25:23	2 22
Let seeking dogs fly --Glad You Remember
	''Darling, we need to re-seed the lawn. That bear patch looks terrible.'' 20/05/21 7:01:33	22

	''Let me come with you, Johnny. Don't leave me here alone. I won't be a nuisance. Please, I'm begging you. Listen to me, I'll die if you go.'' ''For Christ's sake, Martha, I'm only putting the bins out.'' 16/08/20 19:49:00	22

	lol ''How are you going to cure me?'' ''Just Like That!'' 26/02/20 12:03:06	10 22
I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy... --James Lennox
	''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.'' 17/12/18 8:00:36	22

	''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.'' 08/11/18 20:16:31	14 22
Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again... --Dave Bryan
	Tool Hand Luke 07/03/24 20:20:33	21

	''Well done, lads, we've got that mouse surrounded.'' 29/02/24 12:06:11	21

	''Darling, I think you should take a break from donating blood.'' 02/08/23 7:03:39	2 21

	''If you ask me, the council spoils those binmen.'' 24/07/23 11:03:14	21

	Another half-arsed idea 27/04/23 7:03:31	21

	lol ''I don't like this cheese, dad. Where's The Laughing Cow?'' ''Your mother will be home later.'' 23/02/23 12:28:11	21

	lol creative BREAKING French step up security on Calais coast. 17/11/22 8:01:05	21

	WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Somewhere near her ankles. 04/11/22 8:15:14	21

	''Nightingale?'' ''No, I'm going to the pictures after dinner.'' 15/09/22 7:03:57, edited: 15/09/22 7:07:29	1 21
I once went out with a girl named Gayle. She had a terrible wind problem. --James Lennox
	''I can't see Newcastle avoiding relegation, Gary. They're just too exposed at the back.'' 26/03/21 8:33:21	21

	lol ''This is a station announcement for all those passengers wishing to commit suicide: The train due to be arriving on platform 1 will now be arriving on Platform 2.'' 27/05/20 20:12:30	2 21
Looks like there'll be no departures today. --Karyn Harrison
	''I'm absolutely worn out, prowling round Essex all night trying to find a virgin.'' 01/05/20 11:13:13	21

	Early gurning centre 14/08/19 7:02:06	21

	Jurassic Parking 25/02/24 8:01:47	20

	''She only used to visit us occasionally but now she's become part of the furniture.'' 13/02/24 8:01:38, edited: 13/02/24 8:03:19	20

	lol ''Of course I emptied the pot before I put it on my head. What kind of imbecile do you think I am?'' 25/09/23 7:40:05	20

	creative ''I wish the kids would play outside instead of always being under my feet.'' 18/07/23 11:18:12	20

	clever 🎵 Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner............. 15/05/23 11:00:38, edited: 15/05/23 11:02:02	20

	This photo looks like it has been digitally enhanced. 28/04/23 7:00:10	20

	Buoy scouts 24/04/23 7:16:18	20

	Later that afternoon Dave fell and killed himself working on the flat above. But that's another storey. 10/02/23 20:05:24	20

	''When did you first notice it was different to your right foot?'' 19/11/22 8:03:52	20

	lol Another graduate from the Theresa May School of Dancing. 24/09/22 7:01:47	20

	''Does anyone else want to object to the wedding?'' 05/09/22 19:04:56	20

	lol ''Why can't we go any faster, dad?'' ''There's probably a woman ahead holding up the traffic.'' 03/01/22 8:21:01	20

	lol ''On reflection, thirty quid does seem a bit cheap for a luxury spa weekend.'' 18/11/21 8:02:43	20

	''She's going to need plastic surgery.'' 17/05/21 19:00:15	20

	clever x2 Sadly, Daisy is still trying to find a byre for her paintings. 19/02/21 12:13:20	20

	lol New 'Ice Age' movie ruined by product placement say critics. 16/07/20 7:33:51	20

	lol clever ''He didn't suffer. He fried in his sleep.'' 30/06/20 19:00:38	1 20

	lol clever ''I look down on him because I am a Waitrose pumpkin.'' ''I look up to him because he is a Waitrose pumpkin but I look down on him because he is an Aldi pumpkin. I am a Tesco pumpkin.'' ''I know my place.'' 18/11/19 9:06:02	2 20
Very clever! --Karyn Harrison
	Gay pride 19/08/19 7:00:09	1 20

	lol ''Don't mention the War-burtons.'' 08/10/18 20:26:05	2 20
Took me a while .... but a vote worthy fun caption. --John Glover
	The buck stops here 14/06/18 11:00:17	20

	Their relationship is already on the rocks. 22/03/24 8:02:12, edited: 22/03/24 8:02:27	19

	THE GREAT DAVENDO ''To be honest the trick works better with a swordfish.'' 14/03/24 8:12:27	19

	lol x2 ''You f-cking bastards.'' THREE DAYS EARLIER ''Instead of getting a cat sitter, why don't we take Mittens to Scotland with us.'' 25/02/24 12:04:43, edited: 25/02/24 12:57:31	19

	''Looks like there's not much left in the kitty.'' 22/02/24 8:01:47, edited: 22/02/24 8:02:49	19

	lol We've all been there - trying to get money out of a Scotsman. 18/02/24 12:36:15	19

	lol clever ''Since the Dave Awards I can't shift these Wolf shirts fast enough,'' said site manager, Chris Beach. 14/01/24 12:22:15	19

	''He's always stirring up trouble.'' 21/11/23 8:07:03	19

	Upwardly mobile 17/08/23 11:00:47	19

	clever At the annual Bubble Blowers Association meeting it was strictly members only. 17/08/23 7:23:22	19

	One for the rodent 16/06/23 12:34:12	19

	''When did you first notice the pain in your right shoulder?'' ''When you started squeezing it.'' 20/05/23 19:04:58, edited: 21/05/23 6:57:32	5 19
Is this a doctored doctor joke? --Al Overy
	lol ''Does my plum look big in this?'' 31/03/23 11:00:55, edited: 31/03/23 11:01:19	2 19
"not at all,looks like you've lost a stone" --KimJong Pun
	Crush hour 16/02/23 20:00:40	19

	clever ''Mummy, why doesn't this tit work?'' ''Because he's a lazy bastard.'' 17/11/21 20:01:03	19

	clever ''Good afternoon. I'd like to talk to you about Cod.'' 13/06/21 11:13:25	3 19
Holy mackerel! --Willie Johnson
	creative ''Am I OK here, Vincent?'' ''Actually, I've changed my mind. I think the painting will be better without you in it.'' 15/09/20 7:15:47	19

	lol x2 clever Shortly after this photo was taken, the penguin on the left was eaten by a seal. Please take this into account when you are posting your captions. 02/07/20 11:43:32	4 19
2 days in and it looks like the Â£50 prize is already buggered for the month. Great caption. --James Lennox
	''Can I have some mice in it?'' 22/08/19 7:00:24	19

	clever The museum decided to hang the main exhibit slightly left of centaur. 24/02/19 8:05:35	19

	clever That's no mere cat. 14/01/19 12:00:40	2 19

	lol clever Where's Wally: Level 1 21/09/18 11:02:11	19

	Jane decides to leave her Tokyo accommodation. 24/07/18 7:23:17	19

	Chimply Red 02/09/24 11:04:04	18

	Conclusive proof that too much fruit gives you the runs. 14/05/24 7:06:08	18

	Counter intelligence 27/03/24 8:42:37, edited: 27/03/24 9:11:53	18

	''There is a downside. I've got six mothers-in-law.'' 04/03/24 8:26:44	18

	Copper feel 18/02/24 8:40:28	18

	''I don't like living here. The landlord is always on my back.'' 26/10/23 7:18:06	18

more captions

last comments (total: 936)

Is it cats? I always thought it was kicks

NotAsFunnyAsYourMum

05/08/24
4:40pm

comment on caption:
🎵 Everybody was Kung Fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning [Dave Bryan]

It is definitely 'cats' just looked it up.
I'm 56 years old.

Karen McDonald

05/08/24
7:29pm

comment on caption:
🎵 Everybody was Kung Fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning [Dave Bryan]

The lyrics sites are pretty divided. I'd always thought it was 'cats' too, until I heard it through a good old amp with great tone and that sounded much more like 'kicks'. To confuse things further, in the performance here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmfudW7rbG0 it almost sounds/looks like 'kids'.

Regardless, the song's going to be wedged in my head for ages now wink

James Lennox

06/08/24
4:20am

comment on caption:
🎵 Everybody was Kung Fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning [Dave Bryan]

Nice angle, Cap Auth. I think it would be marginally better without the specificity. (PS: If you do go with the suggested edit there may be an accidental extra space between 'X' and 'cats', sorry)

James Lennox

06/08/24
6:12am

comment on caption:
VIII out of X cats prefer Whiskas. [Dave Bryan]

Thanks, James. I couldn't decide on which version to post initially. I eventually went for the sledgehammer approach and threw in Roman. On reflection, you are perfectly correct. The more subtle caption is much better.

(caption author)

06/08/24
7:16am

comment on caption:
VIII out of X cats prefer Whiskas. [Dave Bryan]

I hear you Cap Auth. I've been trying some more abstract/subtle captions recently and the results have been dreadful. It's a fine balancing act 😉

James Lennox

06/08/24
7:37am

comment on caption:
VIII out of X cats prefer Whiskas. [Dave Bryan]

I think we've been here before, James. Sadly, if you want lots of votes, you have to grind out the puns.

(caption author)

06/08/24
7:42am

comment on caption:
VIII out of X cats prefer Whiskas. [Dave Bryan]

The vote was for either of the Witchells ;)

Vivvy En

13/08/24
8:01am

comment on caption:
''I think Nicholas Witchell is approaching us. What shall we do?'' ''Put his head on a spike.'' [Dave Bryan]

Thanks, Vivvy. Have changed it back. I was beginning to think nobody had heard of Witchell and Charles's cutting remark. I'm not a fan of the Royals but I couldn't stand Witchell either.

(caption author)

13/08/24
8:16am

comment on caption:
''I think Nicholas Witchell is approaching us. What shall we do?'' ''Put his head on a spike.'' [Dave Bryan]

Thanks, Karyn. Yes, it reads better with 'leaping Tom' at the end.

(caption author)

18/08/24
3:42pm